Thirty-four
Ash scowled at Ryder, seated on the other side of the campfire with Cap and Dex, Bree and Charlie had already gone to bed. Thanks to the broken fence line, they were forced to muster their herd towards the new paddock. They were hoping to sleep in their beds tomorrow. If they were lucky. ‘You didn’t have to send Harper away like that.’
‘You weren’t concentrating on the job.’ The glow from the campfire only made Ryder’s hard edges meaner. ‘Stop thinking like an employee! Goofing off the first chance you get. We’re meant to be working together, doing this for us.’ Ryder’s harsh voice echoed in the night air as if he was dressing down a soldier.
Ash snarled, his upper lip twitching. ‘Are you saying I’m not as good as you guys?’
‘I didn’t say that.’ Ryder exhaled heavily, rubbing his hands over his denim thighs. ‘You did good with the drone.’
‘I agree,’ said Dex, with Cap nodding beside him. ‘And you’re a bloody good stockman, just not when Harper’s around. Then you’re too busy daydreaming, or too busy watching her, ready to play hero for her any chance you get.’
‘Was not.’
‘Ash, in the morning, you’ll head back into the Stoneys with Charlie.’ It wasn’t a request, but an order from Commander Ryder, tossing the last of his coffee into the fire.
‘What for?’ Ash wanted to see Harper and Mason.
‘Because we’re missing a few dozen cattle in there after that sandstorm hit.’
‘Why me?’
‘Or you can help fix fences and clean troughs with us, brother?’ Dex leaned forward, his eyes taunting him to take that dare, just like he did with his opponents in the fighting pits. But Ash was supposed to be their brother.
‘I honestly didn’t think the drafting yards were that bad.’ Cap shrugged, taking a sip from his tin mug.
‘It’ll take a good week—’
‘Try two,’ said Dex, holding up two fingers.
‘—to fix it. Then we’ll be ready to draft them, so we’ll need that fencing done,’ said Ryder. ‘In the meantime, Ash, you’ll go with Charlie back into the Stoneys, where you’ll use your drone to chase those strays out of those tight places better than I can with the chopper.’
‘Yeah, sure, okay.’
Ryder leaned his elbows on his thighs, directly opposite Ash, only their small campfire separated them. ‘I am not the enemy, Ash. And I hate that I’m always riding you about your work.’
‘Are you saying you’d sack me?’ Ash said it as a joke, but Ryder wasn’t laughing. He rarely did.
‘I would’ve sacked you weeks ago, the first time you forgot to clean those troughs. It’s only because you’re my little brother, that I haven’t.’ Ryder showed no emotion, unlike Cap meekly shrugging, and Dex wearing his normal scowl. Ryder was as cold as a snake.
It had Ash gritting his teeth to stop his jaw trembling with rage.
‘Look, we all know you were happy just being a contract musterer, so I’m happy to give you your deposit back and let you go.’
‘And do what?’ They were firing him!
‘Do what makes you happy. Because you have to want this life, Ash. Your brothers and I are busting our butts to get this station on track. In this life, this job, there are no time clocks or suitable work hours, or lunch breaks. And I shouldn’t be playing the boss to check on your work when you’re meant to be a boss, too. It’s what happens when you work for yourself, getting the job done, relying on ourselves to do it right the first time, every time. But you seem to want something else.’
‘To be fair to Ash,’ said Cap, ‘He did get lumped with a kid. That’d be enough to rattle even you, Ryder.’
‘It’s why I’ve cut him some slack.’ Ryder leaned forward, the dancing flames reflecting in his dark, cold eyes. ‘I was hoping you’d find the drive to put in the effort, for your son’s sake, to give that boy the home he deserves.’
‘I’m trying—’
‘No, you’re not. You have to want it here.’ Ryder tapped at his chest. ‘You have to want it deep in your soul or you’re just wasting your time and everyone else’s on a daydream.’ Ryder stood, towering over them, and with a curt nod, he walked off.
Ash looked at his other brothers. ‘Are you agreeing with him?’
Again, Cap shrugged. ‘Sorry, mate, but—’
‘Stop treating this like a game, is what Cap’s trying to say.’ Dex leaned in, eyes blazing. ‘This isn’t some game where you get a thousand chances to beat the bad guys, we’ve only got one shot at this. Meanwhile, you’re treating it like it’s a bloody day care centre where you’re watching the clock to go back to either kiss the babysitter or plug into some computer game to play all night. Ryder’s right, your head and heart aren’t in it.’ Dex shuffled to his feet and dusted off the back of his jeans, shaking his head as he left.
That left Ash staring at the campfire, with Cap patting a cattle dog stretched out before him.
‘What do you want for yourself, Ash?’ Cap craned his neck up to the stars and then to the wide land covered in darkness. ‘For me, it’s this, and a kennel for the dogs. You?’
Ash didn’t know what to say.
‘Look, I know you weren’t part of the original discussions when we decided to buy a station. You just said okay and tagged along for the ride.’
‘I didn’t want to be left behind.’
Cap patted his brother on the shoulder. ‘Mate, we want you here. We do. But is this what you want, what’ll make you happy?’
‘I enjoy mustering.’
‘I can see that.’
‘I like working the stations and the whole cattle industry.’ But he hated his older brothers ganging up on him like this.
‘But do you like being the boss who carries all the responsibility?’
‘Ryder won’t share the workload.’
‘He’s been trying to share it with you, Ash. Yet you just treat him like the boss when he’s being your partner. Just do yourself a favour and think about what you want. Write a list. Or check out that one you’re always adding to.’
‘Harper said the same thing.’
‘Yeah, well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but …’ Cap peered around to check they were on their own, then lowered his voice and said, ‘You should forget about Harper.’
Ash sat up with a frown.
‘Come on, mate. Do you honestly think Harper is going to play instant family when you’ve never even taken her on a date? She’s also on holidays with a job to go back to, so think about what’s best for Mason. Sleep tight, little brother.’ Cap left, his dogs following, and it was just Ash and the dancing flames of the campfire.
Fuming, he grabbed his swag and moved to the far side of the campsite. He wanted to talk to Harper, to hug Mason goodnight. He missed his family, when not that long ago he lived for the ride following the mustering contracts without caring where his next pay cheque was coming from. It was a life that used to be so free from stress. A life of little to no responsibilities.
When did life get so complicated?
He knew when … It was the day he’d met Mason.
How many days did he have until that escape clause expired?