Thirty-four
Mia squeezed her eyes shut, her whole body in knots but it barely stopped her trembling. ‘Please don’t hate me when I tell you something. You may not like it, or me.’
‘Mia, look at me.’ Cap tenderly stroked her hair.
Slowly she opened her eyes to face Cap, the beautiful, kind and caring man.
‘You can tell me anything.’
Even if it meant losing him.
‘Go on.’
He deserved to know.
She took a deep breath and whispered, ‘I can’t have children.’
Cap stepped back, eyes widening.
‘I know it’s early to say these things, but you can’t love me, not when you have the chance to be with someone else who can give you a family. I can’t get pregnant.’
‘Why? How long have you known?’
‘Since I was a child. I had such severe cramping on my first period that my mother took me to the hospital. That’s when they learned I had underdeveloped ovaries and was infertile. It’s a birth defect.’
‘How do you feel about that?’
‘Right now, not so good.’
‘Why not?’
‘I mean, I accepted it when younger, but now I’ve met someone like you… So, I’ll understand if you want to end this, I get it. I’m—’
‘Are you serious?’ For the first time Cap scowled at her as he stepped in closer. ‘Do you really think that little of me.’
‘You deserve to have someone who can give you everything.’
‘Who said I wanted children?’
‘But you’re so good with Mason.’
‘As his uncle, and I like babysitting him.’ He stepped back, rubbing his palm down his face. ‘That’s why you’ve been holding back from me.’
She couldn’t tell if he was mad with her or not. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
‘Because I didn’t want you to...’ She struggled to swallow past the thick knot in her throat. ‘To reject me.’
He dropped his head low, hands on hips.
‘I’m sorry.’ Hot stinging tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Why? Because of something that you were born with that was beyond your control?’ He tilted his head at her. ‘Most of my muster dogs were rejected because they weren’t purebreds or had a fault. And how do I treat them, Mia?’
She sniffed hard, the tears trickling off her chin as she wiped her runny nose with the back of her hand. ‘Like family.’ That only spurred on more tears.
‘Family comes in many shapes and forms, especially when least expected.’ He tapped the Tojo’s cage where she’d found him, or he’d found her. ‘With those dogs, I don’t see their faults or imperfections.’
Yet she felt full of imperfections.
‘I only see perfection.’ He dropped his head, using his finger to lift her chin. ‘And I see you.’
She lifted her eyes to meet his, and her world was full of the handsome man, with his warm malt-whisky eyes.
‘I see your happiness when I see your heart fill with hope. I see joy when you’re kinder to yourself, learning to love yourself for who you are and not at the hands of others, but you. And I see you. For you.’ His hand tenderly stroked her hair. ‘I love you, Mia Dixon. And if you want, I’d love for you to be a permanent part of my family. I don’t expect you to say anything, yet. I know you’ll need time.’
Her lips trembled, desperate to stop blubbering at the words spoken by this perfect man.
‘Hey, I told you from the beginning, I’m a patient man who’ll wait for you until you are ready.’ He hugged her, swallowing her in his arms, and she felt safe there, where the outside world’s ugliness fell away to the soothing sounds of his heartbeat.
‘Cap? Oi!’ A huge whistle ripped through the air. It came from Dex standing at the far end of the car park. ‘There’s something wrong with your dogs.’