19. Cameron
nineteen
Cameron
After last night’s conversation with Talia, I’m still reeling. Realizing that I might be in love with her has me questioning everything.
My feet hit the treadmill a little harder than usual.
Is what I’m feeling really love? I’ve never been in love before. I have no fucking clue what it’s supposed to feel like or what the hell I’m supposed to do now. Do I tell her?
Why the fuck is this so hard?
My alarm beeps, telling me my hour is over. I decrease my speed and walk the last half mile, bringing my total to eight. Not my best, but not my worst. Considering how much I had on my mind, I’m surprised I didn’t slip and fall off.
The need to call Mason is strong. I know he’s back from his honeymoon, but I can’t remember if he’s back to traveling for work or not. He cut back on his hours and traveling when he moved to Oregon to be with Emery.
It’s only six in the morning, which means it’s three in the morning on the West Coast.
Fuck it. I shoot him a text, asking him to call me. Putting my phone aside, I stretch and wait.
Mase: Why the fuck are you texting me at three in the morning?
Cam: Why the fuck are you answering me if it’s three in the morning?
Mase: Touché.
Cam: Can you talk?
My phone rings in my hand. I tap my earbud, answering Mason’s call.
“Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” His worry-filled question makes me feel like an ass for freaking him out.
“Shit, Mase. Yeah. I’m good. Didn’t mean to worry you. I just… I need to ask you something.”
“Must be important if you’re calling so early. Hold on.” I hear the bed shift. Emery groans in frustration, and Mason whispers, “Sorry, baby doll.”
Envy grips me with piercing claws as I listen to my brother coax his wife back to sleep. I’d love to wake up with Talia in my arms. Fuck, I’d like to just take her out on an actual date. We haven’t even had that yet.
I can’t be in love, can I?
“Cam, you there?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” I tug at my hair and lie back on the yoga mat I’m using in the hotel gym.
“What’s so important you needed to talk now?”
“Nothing. Never mind. I was being stupid.”
“You’re worrying me. Just tell me.”
If there is anyone I can talk to about this, it’s Mason. For a long time—after all the failed dates and relationships—he was jaded as hell. Now, he’s all loved up and the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
I know our experiences are different, but in a way, they are also similar. My experience with women hasn’t been the best. The women who throw themselves at me only want me for one of two things—to either fuck me or marry me for my money.
I’m in uncharted territory with Taila. I don’t know what she wants, and my feelings for her have a forever kind of sentiment attached to them.
“How long did it take you to fall in love with Emery?”
Mason chuckles. “That’s what all this is about? You met someone?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
“Who?” he asks.
“I can’t tell you.” My palms sweat as I look around the empty gym, making sure someone hasn’t come in and is listening to me.
“The fuck you can’t. We tell each other everything.”
“Do we?” I fire back.
Mason is an elusive fuck. He can be cagey with his personal life and feelings. It took the three of us to figure out what happened when he fucked it all up with Emery last year. And the three of us to help him get his act together and win her back.
“Yes, you dumb fuck. I know I’m not the best at expressing my feelings, but you are. You talk to me; I listen. That’s how we do. I know you, and I know you’re not the manwhore everyone thinks you are. And to answer your question, two and a half hours.”
“What?”
“That’s how long it took me to fall in love with Emery. The two-and-a-half-hour flight from Portland to Los Angeles.”
“Aww,” Emery’s soft voice interrupts us.
“Did I wake you?” Mason asks.
“Who’s on the phone?”
“Cam. ”
“Is he okay?”
I can’t take listening to their conversation while I sit here stretching and freaking out about how fast my feelings for Talia have consumed me. “At least put me on speaker if you’re going to talk about me like I’m not here.”
Emery’s voice sounds clearer. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
“No. Why does everyone keep asking that?”
“It’s three in the morning.” Emery yawns. “People only call at this hour if something bad has happened.”
“Something happened all right,” Mason interjects. “Cam fell in love.”
“What? With whom? Tell me. Oh no, Chris is going to be so sad.”
I bark a laugh. Emery’s younger brother, Chris, is the funniest guy I have ever met. That dude has no problem speaking his mind or living his life without apology. That includes flirting with me any chance he gets. It’s harmless, and honestly, I get a kick out of it. I need to take him out to dinner when I get back into town. Talia would love to meet him.
“I can’t tell you. It’s… We shouldn’t. But … we couldn’t stop it.”
Emery squeals. “Ooh. Forbidden. That’s hot.”
Mason growls.
“Oh relax, you caveman. You know you’re it for me.”
“Fucking better be,” Mason grouses.
Emery whispers something, and I’m glad I don’t hear based on my brother’s groan.
Yuck. They are as bad as Jace and Ry.
“Can you two please stop?”
“Sorry, yes. We were talking about your forbidden romance,” Emery says, stifling her giggles. “Do we know the girl? Is she your best friend’s sister?”
“Let me guess, Rylann and Scarlett have you reading romance books too?”
“And your mom.” Emery chuckles .
I sneer. “Gross.”
“Bet your dad doesn’t think so.”
Mason and I both gag as Emery cackles. She’s been hanging out with my sister-in-law and her best friend too much.
“Can we get back to my problem?”
Mason huffs. “You don’t have a problem.”
“Mason,” Emery scolds.
I wait for Mason’s retort, which never comes. I guess I know who’s in charge. Though, I get it. I’d do anything Talia wants.
“Sorry, Cam. What’s your problem?”
“How do I know it’s love? I’ve never… I don’t know what being in love is like.”
“If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then you’re probably in love,” my brother says. “Do you wish you could be with her all day, every day? Dream about her? Look forward to getting her texts and calls? Blow off other people to call or text her? Have you had flashes of a future with her? Stare at her picture on your phone when you’re alone?”
I don’t answer. Every question Mason has listed is a resounding yes. I have, indeed, done all those things.
“Based on your silence, I’d say you are in love with this woman. But seeing as you two aren’t supposed to be together, maybe hold off on saying it.”
“Mason, how could you say that? You waited, and that didn’t work out for us, did it?”
“You wear my ring and share my last name. I think it all worked out, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Emery answers, all dreamy-like.
“And I’m out. Thanks for the info.”
“Cam?”
“Yeah, Em?”
“If you aren’t ready to say the words, show her. It means more to be shown, not told. But don’t wait too long to say it. Women like the words. ”
“I will. Thanks.”
“Yo.”
“What’s up, kid?” Eli sounds more tired than usual.
“The usual.”
“Is that so?” He hums, not believing me for a second.
Aside from the occasional text, we haven’t spoken since Arizona, which is not unusual while I’m traveling during the season.
“Yup. Just finished the last game here in Boston. Headed home in a few days. You still coming to the family picnic?”
“Cut the shit. I haven’t missed one yet. What do you want?” He’s exasperated with my stalling.
“Why do you think I want something?” I hedge.
“Cameron.”
“Eli.” I say his name with the same tone and wait for him to laugh.
He doesn’t. “I’ll hang up on your ass.”
“Ugh, fine. Way to skip the fucking foreplay.”
“If I wanted foreplay, I sure as shit wouldn’t ask you to provide it.”
I bark a laugh. “Point taken. But find someone to cup your balls for a bit. You’ve definitely taken over as the grouchy brother.”
“That’s just ’cause Mason’s gone all soft. The lucky fucker.”
Interesting. Is my brother seeing someone? Eli is also a cagey fucker like Mason. He’s all up in everyone else’s business, but like me, he will deflect with humor if you hit the nail too close to the head when you bring up women and relationships.
“Does that mean you’re putting yourself on the market? Is the search for your leading lady finally on?”
“Who are you? Mom?”
See what I mean? Cagey .
“Ha! You’re lucky Mom hasn’t set your ass up with one of her friend’s daughters yet. You know those old ladies in her book club are chomping at the bit to set you up.”
“I can find my own dates. I’m just busy right now. Things are … complicated.”
Considering Eli’s tendency to keep things to himself, his admission that things are complicated makes me suspect something else is going on. Maybe it really is about a woman. When he’s ready to talk, he will. All I can do is wait for him to open up.
“Heard. I need your help.”
“Finally. We get to the point of the call.”
“Fuck off. I sometimes call you for no reason.” I can hear Eli narrow his eyes through the line. He stays quiet, waiting for me to continue. “You’re an asshole.”
Eli chuckles. “It’s genetic.”
“Har-har. I need to send a gift somewhere, but I don’t have the address. Can you find it for me?”
“An address? For whom?”
I hesitate. There aren’t many people I can ask who are discreet. My agent, Charles, would kill me if he knew I was seeing Romero’s sister. That man is the best agent in town, but he would rip me a new asshole if I jeopardized my career.
“Just say it.” Eli sighs. He knows who.
Looking around the locker room, I see only a few people have trickled in after lunch, but I don’t take a chance. “I need her address. She lives with his mom.”
“I love how you listened and stayed away from her.”
“Her name is Talia, and she’s…” Amazing. Smart. Funny. Drop-dead fucking gorgeous. She’s everything. Everything I want and shouldn’t. I know I’m poking the hornet’s nest. I’m not an idiot.
“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Just don’t make me say I told you so.”
“What’s the price?” I ask, ignoring the sense of foreboding Eli has shaken loose inside me .
“Two favors.”
“Two,” I shout.
“The first for keeping your secret, you dumb fuck. The second for the address.”
“How many do I own you now?” Please don’t be double digits.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Hit me with it.” It can’t be that bad. When was the last time I asked for a favor? A year?
“Eight.”
“Eight?”
He has to be fucking with me.
“Eight. Your secret, the address, Christmas shopping, which I had to pay my assistant extra to help me with. Dez was not happy, by the way. Mom and Dad’s anniversary party, Jace and Rylann’s wedding present, and Mason and Emery’s wedding present. Oh, and let’s not forget the one-night stand predicament and your birthday party two years ago. Which should be worth more, but since it was your birthday, I gave you a discount.”
Fuck . I forgot about the one-night and my birthday. I shiver, shoving those memories away. “Can’t I just pay you?”
“Nah. Where’s the fun in that? This way, I can lord it over you. Make you my bitch. But you should buy Dez something.”
“I fucking hate you.”
Eli laughs. It’s hearty and sounds more like the old him. I’m glad he’s enjoying this because it feels more like he’s shoving a giant poker up my ass with all this “owing him favors” shit.
“I will send Dez a new Evaders jersey and tickets for him and his dad.”
“And a huge gift card. Also, you need your own assistant.”
“Fuck that. You can’t trust anyone these days.”
“I’ll find you one, but you will owe me another favor.” I can hear the grin in his voice. He has me by the balls, and he knows it.
The only reason I’ve survived this long without one is because Eli and Charles keep me straight. I guess it’s time .
“Fine. Nine total. But you better make sure my new assistant likes baseball. And you have to fire them if I hate them.”
“Deal. Give me a few weeks? Might take me a while to find the right person.”
“That’s fine. I’ve lasted this long.”
“Yeah, because I take care of you. And it doesn’t hurt that Charles’s partner is in love with you too.”
I’m really spoiled.
“Not in love.” I shake my head. “Josh wants me to be the peanut butter between their bread for the night. Hard no for me.”
Eli laughs again.
“Besides, I can’t lose Charles as my agent. He’s the best in the field.”
“True. You lucked out.”
I really did. There are a lot of scumbag agents out there who will screw you over. Guys like Damien Barnes. He’s the worst of the worst.
The rumors Eli has heard about the guy would make your skin crawl. I don’t understand how a guy like Romero, who grew up in a house with women, would condone the shit Damien pulls with his assistants and other women in the industry.
They were in the same year at SCU and thick as thieves even back then. Damien was a hanger-on, still is. He’s built his career off of Nico’s back. I haven’t figured out if Romero is blind to what’s going on or complicit. For Talia’s sake, I hope it’s the former.
“I’ll send you the address when I get it.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“Anytime. And Cam?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t get caught,” he says before cutting the line without another word.
Fucker. I swear, if he jinxed me, I will shave his eyebrows off.
A ruckus at the door has me turning around to find Romero walking in with a laughing Serrano .
Nico and I lock eyes. The tension between us is palpable. In an attempt to break the tension between us, I give him a chin lift. The way he narrows his eyes at me, there is no mistaking how he feels. He fucking hates me.
I turn away and start removing my suit. I can still feel Romero’s eyes burning a hole in my back as I get dressed.
Eli jinxed me, all right.
I don’t foresee an outcome in which Talia and me being together doesn’t cause a problem with her asshole brother.