31. Talia
thirty-one
Talia
“Knock, Knock.” Zia Rose walks inside my bedroom without invitation, closing the door behind her. Her sweet, floral scent fills the room in a cloud around her. It’s as bold as her personality and brings with it a sense of familiarity that calms my nerves.
“You know it only works if you actually knock on the door, right?” I tease.
My aunt is hardly ever up before the sun rises. Working late hours running a restaurant has turned her into a night owl. There’s only one reason she’d be up this early—to talk.
It’s been weeks since everything went down with me, my mom, and Cam, and things still aren’t back to normal. Not that I expected them to be. Mom made her stance against me and Cam being together, and I refuse to give up the man I love. As far as she knows, we aren’t together, and my attitude towards her has been… Let’s go with frosty.
I’m still hurt. So, I have made myself scarce to avoid the tension between us. I’ve also declined calls from Nico, so I don’t have to lie to his face.
“And risk you ignoring my knocks and waking everyone else up? Pass.” Zia Rose sits on the edge of my bed and crosses her jean-clad leg. At fifty-six, she has all the swagger and elegance of a much younger woman. With the Romero trademark raven hair, gray eyes, and curvy features, she still turns heads wherever she goes.
She watches me as I slip into a clean pair of scrubs and brush my hair. I avoid looking her in the eye when I step in front of the mirror and plait my long locks into two French braids.
“So that’s how you want to play this?” she asks, brow arched.
When I was younger, I’d be spilling at one lift of that perfectly manicured brow. My aunt has always been the one I talked to about stuff. Not that I can’t talk to my mom about anything; it’s just easier with my aunt. But I can’t do that now. I don’t want to put her in a position where she has to lie for me.
Steeling my nerves, I turn around to face her, keeping my face as neutral as possible. I refuse to break down and show her my cards. She might have an inkling that I’m still with Cam, but she doesn’t know for sure.
“I’m not playing any games, Zia.”
“No. You’re not.” She nods, picking her words carefully. “That’s not your style. But going behind your mother’s back to see a certain man she asked you not to isn’t either. So…” She shrugs, lifting her hands in the air. “Maybe you’ve changed.”
Have I changed? Or am I finally growing into the person I’ve always meant to be?
I’m not sure. What I know is that I have always been the one to apologize first and keep the peace. I’m the good girl.
Perfect little Lia. Don’t worry about her, she’ll accommodate everyone’s needs.
The old me existed in the background, disappearing behind the other, bigger personalities of my brother and cousins. Not anymore. Being with Cam has given me the self-confidence I need to ask for what I want. To stand on my own and be the star in my life, not just the supporting character in someone else’s.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I lean back against my dresser, exuding my newfound confidence. “Maybe I have changed. Or maybe I’m still me, and I’m just tired of being what everyone else needs. You were there, Zia. You know what happened. As usual, she asked me to put Nico’s needs ahead of mine. She didn’t even give Cam a chance. She just kicked him out and forbade me from seeing him. I’m not a child. I’m a grown woman, and I can make my own decisions.”
Zia Rose blows out a frustrated breath. “I know you are, and while I don’t agree with how Cat handled things, her feelings towards the situation are valid. This cold war the two of you are in is too much. It’s not doing either of you any good. You need to talk to her. Apologize.”
I huff, shaking my head. “She knows where to find me.”
“You’re right. She’s the parent, and she should talk to you first. But—”
“I did nothing wrong by falling for Cam. I’m not acting out. This isn’t me being childish and rebelling. I fell for him because he’s amazing, and he treats me like a freaking queen. Cam listens to me and holds me when I need him. He’s sweet, kind, and funny. He’s … he’s everything, Zia.”
“I’m going to throw this out there: if you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, then why did you hide your relationship?” Zia Rose watches me as I scroll through a list of comebacks in my head.
She’s got me.
“Because…” I bite my cheek to keep from answering. I don’t have a suitable answer for her, and she knows it. The truth is I knew Nico would be pissed, and I didn’t want to hurt him.
“You are the smartest one in this family, Lia. You obviously see something in Cameron we don’t. But you have to fix the problem, not run from it. You will only end up hurting the people you love in the end, Cameron included.”
I gnaw on my lips. She’s right. But why can’t everyone just trust me?
“I see how strained your relationship with Cat has become, and it breaks my heart. I know you’re still seeing him, and I promise you this will not end well. In no way am I telling you to break up with Cam. I am asking you to think about what happens when Cat and Nico find out before you get the chance to tell them the truth. We both know your brother is stubborn. You will lose him if you’re not honest with him.”
She stands and gives me a tight hug before walking to the door without another word.
My conversation with Zia Rose has been on replay in my head throughout the entire first half of my shift at the hospital. She made some solid points about how running away from my problems will only make things worse.
It’s why I find myself standing outside our family restaurant, between my double shifts, my head and my heart battling it out with one another.
I don’t want to date Cam in secret, and I certainly don’t want this rift between me and my mom to get wider. I love her. She is one of the most important people in my life, and if I want my relationship with Cameron to work, I need her support. I need her to listen and see things from my perspective.
She always talks about my brother and the sacrifices he made for our family. I made them too, but I’m not sure she sees the things I gave up. It makes me feel less than when she dismisses my feelings and needs for Nico’s.
The bell above the door rings as I walk into the nearly empty dining room at Belladonna. A few staff members wave at me as they prep stations and set tables for dinner service. I wave back and make my way to the back office, where my mom is going through orders for the week.
Zia Rose smiles proudly at me and shoots me a wink. She mouths, You got this , as she stirs a pot of sauce.
I breathe in the rich aroma of her fresh marinara .
Sofia waves my way before pulling out a tray of focaccia bread from the oven. I’m hit with the smell of garlic and rosemary, and my mouth waters at the delicious and homey scent of my childhood.
Feeling less nauseous and more confident than when I walked in, I move past the walk-ins towards the back where the office is located. It’s a small workspace—only twelve-by-twelve feet—with various calendars, schedules, and photos printed out and covering the walls.
I used to spend hours here studying while my mom worked, hiding away from the kitchen mayhem and getting lost in my books to cope with often feeling like an afterthought.
I look through the window and, as expected, my mom is sitting behind her desk, with her glasses perched on her nose, working through a stack of invoices. My body buzzes with nervous energy as I watch her tackle the pile.
Deep breath. You got this. I pump myself up before I knock and wait.
“Come in,” my mom calls out.
I push open the door and peek my head in. “Hey, Mamma.”
“Lia, what a surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Removing her glasses, she shuffles the papers in front of her and moves them to the side as I take a seat across from her.
“I was between shifts, and I thought we could talk a little.”
“Okay. But first, tell me, how’s work?” She takes her glasses off and places them on the desk.
“It’s good. I’ve made some new friends. I love working with Doctor Winters. She’s amazing.”
“That’s good to hear. I like that you’re keeping busy. It’s good for you to go out and have fun. Take your mind off things .”
The way she says “things” with an air of disgust stings. Cam isn’t a thing. He’s a person. A good person who I really care about.
If I want her to hear me, I’m going to have to leave Cam out of this for now .
“Mamma, do you remember when I was, like, six or seven and you signed me up for that ballet dance?” I ask.
She grins. “I remember. You were the cutest ballerina in the class.”
“Do you remember the recital at the end of the program? Our group danced to the song from Beauty and the Beast . I practiced my plies and arabesques like crazy.”
“Umm.” She props herself up on her elbows and rubs her finger over her lips, thinking. “I remember you practicing some moves at the park.”
“I did practice at the park. We were there for Nico’s little league championship game.”
She slaps the table and grins ear to ear, recalling the memory. “That’s right. He hit a home run to win the game. He was a big hitter even then.”
“He was.” Of course, that’s what she remembers.
“My recital was the same night, and I missed it because Zia had to run the restaurant and you didn’t want to miss Nico’s game. You told me there would be more recitals, but only one championship game. Do you remember that?”
“Vaguely. I thought you didn’t like dance.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I only said that because I knew Nico’s baseball was more important.”
“You could have just said you wanted to dance, Talia. I would have made it work.”
“I know, and you’re right. I could have told you. I should have asked for a lot of things. But I didn’t want to burden you. If you weren’t working at the restaurant, you were getting Nico to all his games and practices and trainings. I didn’t think it was my place to ask for more when you were already stretched so thin.”
“I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t ask for things. Why bring this up now?”
“Well, you know things have been off between us since…” I can’t even finish the sentence, or I might cry remembering how I thought Cam was leaving me.
She nods. “I was giving you space. It was a lot to handle. I knew you were upset, but I also knew you would come around eventually. See things the right way.”
The right way? Or her way?
I sigh in exasperation. She still doesn’t get it. “I see things clearly.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you the ballet story because this is me finally asking you for something. I’m asking you to put my happiness first.”
“I always do that.” She crosses her arms over her chest, the way my brother does when he’s too stubborn to listen to reason.
“No, you don’t. You put Nico’s happiness first. I’m … I’m an afterthought.”
“Did that man put you up to this?”
The Romero in me comes out, and my hands fly in the air for emphasis. “Are you serious right now? This isn’t about him. It’s about me and your lack of respect for my choices, whether or not you agree with them. It’s about you always siding with Nico and putting his needs first.”
“I do not always side with your brother.”
“Then why didn’t you hear me out the day you kicked Cameron out? I know you heard what he said to Zia Rose, but you just jumped to conclusions. You know as well as I do that Nico can be irrational and stubborn. Do you even know why he hates Cam?”
She narrows her eyes at me in anger, and I brace for impact. Cat Romero is sweet and strong, but she’s also a firecracker with the fiery blood of a very passionate woman. “I don’t have to know. If your brother says he’s no good, then it must be true. Don’t mistake my concern for Nico’s image and career with me thinking Cameron Miller doesn’t deserve ridicule. ”
“That’s insane. You don’t even know him,” I grind out. I’m doing everything in my power to hide my outrage over what she’s saying.
“It doesn’t matter, Talia. It’s loyalty. Family comes first. We do not turn our back on our family.”
“I’m not turning my back on my family, dammit. All I’m asking you to do is look past your bias. Get to know Cam. See what kind of man he is for yourself.” I pray she hears my plea.
“No.” Her tone is firm. Unchanging.
“Mamma.”
“I said no, Lia. Nico has sacrificed too much for this family. When all the other guys were going out and partying, your brother was home, making sure we had everything we needed. Nico took care of us. He fixed our home, this restaurant, and he even paid for your education. He has done everything for you. For all of us. I will not betray him. And neither will you.”
I take a deep breath, trying to quell the anger. “I know what he’s done for us. For me. He’s the best big brother a sister could ever ask for. But I sacrificed for him and our family too. Maybe not in the same ways, but just because Nico’s sacrifices were financial, it does not mean I owe him my life. I’m your daughter; you should value my happiness too. Not everything is about Nico.”
“I do value your happiness, Lia.”
“Not enough to see things from my side.”
She winces. I’m not pulling my punches anymore.
“Your brother has his reasons for not liking that man. You don’t think I googled him? There are hundreds of photos of him, each with a different woman. He’s a manwhore. A man like that isn’t good enough to date my daughter.”
Tears well in my eyes. She doesn’t even know Cam, and she’s judging him. Do I like that the man I love has been with a lot of women? No. Who the hell would? But his past doesn’t define who he is inside. He didn’t love those women, but he loves me .
“I’ve been with hundreds of guys. Am I a whore too? Am I not worthy of finding love because I slept around?” I ask.
“Enough.” My mom stares up at the ceiling, muttering in Italian. “ Dio, dammi la forza .” God, give me strength. “I’m not changing my mind.”
“So, that’s it? I’m just expected to go along with what you want for Nico’s sake?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you didn’t not say it either.” My tears break free and run down my cheeks. The release is cathartic, so I lean in and let it all out. “I know I’m the reason my dad left.”
“Lia, no…”
“It’s okay, Mamma. I heard you tell Zia. I know you miss him. I know you wish he was still here, but you kept me instead. It doesn’t bug me because I know you love me. But I’m tired of feeling like an afterthought.”
“You aren’t.”
“I am, and it’s partly my fault. I have gone along with what everyone wants for as long as I can remember. Everyone thinks I’m so smart and so perfect, but I’m not. I was just afraid of being resented further, so I became a doormat. I never spoke up for myself back then. I kept my head in my books and didn’t ask for extra stuff. I didn’t fight for your attention. I let you give to Nico. But I’m not doing that anymore. It’s time for me to speak up and fight for what I want. I’m an adult, and I need to put my needs and my happiness first.” I feel lighter as I check my watch and stand. “My shift starts in twenty, so I need to leave. I won’t be home for a few days, but we can chat more when I get back.” I circle the desk, kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear, “I love you, Mamma. With all my heart.”
A tear rolls down her cheek, and I wipe it away. A part of me wants to apologize and console her, but I can’t. Resorting back to my old habits won’t help me grow. And I need to grow.
I need to follow my heart.