Chapter XXVIII
“The agent gave us a discounted fare because of the children’s legal troubles,” Mae lied.
Should she tell Winona about Mr. Foster?
Would he try to contact Winona, too? What if he finds out she told her and takes Simon away again?
She couldn’t tell her. She looked down at the children seated near the window.
“That’s a big discount, eh?” Winona replied, not fully convinced.
“So what will you plan to do when we get back?” Mae deflected, trying to change the subject. “Will you still have your flat?”
Winona moved her gaze from Mae's face to the window, the midwestern scenery passing by in a blur. “I’m not sure yet.” Winona’s fingers tapped out a silent staccato on her thigh. Her other hand rested on Lily’s leg. Mae noticed that she hadn’t let go of Lily since their reunion.
Simon sat on the other side of Mae, his cheek resting against the cool windowpane while his eyes followed the terrain.
He had been quiet since they’d boarded the train.
He had held her hand consistently since they had reunited after she bought the tickets at the station.
She thought of his teenage years that were fast approaching, and the impending distance that would ensue suddenly felt amplified by the drastic separation of the last week.
She couldn’t risk losing him again—no matter what Mr. Foster asked of her.
“I think I’d still have the flat,” Winona continued as though she hadn’t taken a long pause after the last sentence.
“I’d used our savin’s to pay it up til the end of the month.
So we still have another week…” Her voice trailed off.
Mae examined her closely and wondered how anyone survived like that week to week.
Mae felt for the coins inside the purse on her lap.
She knew she would have to learn how to live that way soon enough.
She closed her eyes as the thought occurred.
“Do you think you’ll stay in the city?” Mae thought of the outskirts of town—even thought of going to Jersey.
The jobs would be fewer, but the rents would be cheaper too.
Maybe Mr. Foster wouldn’t know where to find her, and she would be free.
Her fingers closed into a tight fist. Not likely—he was probably watching her now.
She chanced a quick glance up and down the aisle.
“Don’t think so... No jobs for my sort out there.”
“What were you doing before…” Mae gestured her hand to denote the children and the train, “this?” Mae thought about just how much she didn’t know about Winona. She took a second to glance down the aisle, certain that their conversation was being listened to.
“I’d jus got a job sewin’ in the factory downtown, but I don’t think they’ll have me back.
” She quieted for a moment, looking down at her fingers in her lap.
“No matter anyways… Horrible hours and too long away from me Lily.” She patted Lily’s leg, which made Lily look up at her and smile.
“What do ye plan on doin’ now?” Her eyes flicked to Mae.
The idea of going home to an empty house had hollowed her out since the moment she’d given the porter their tickets.
“I’m not sure either. Someone must need a clerk…
” She thought of the young clerks at the downtown offices, which were filled with young girls fresh from school, hired cheap and dismissed as soon as they married.
The carousel of clerks with their smooth skin and tight figures transitioned in and out of the positions as soon as their marriage prospects were finalized.
Most had sought the job for that reason only.
Her hand came up unconsciously and touched the aging skin of her cheek.
She was sure that a woman her age wouldn’t be their first choice.
“I might look into moving to Jersey. Maybe the rents will be cheaper…”
Simon turned from the window. “Jersey? Mama, I don’t want to live in Jersey!” His eyes held a sudden wealth of despair. Mae knew in that moment that Jersey would be out of the question.
“It was just a thought, Simon. I’m sure we will stay in the city.
” She smiled at him from across the bench’s length.
Mr. Foster said he’d be in touch with her.
Had it been about a job? If it were, she wondered if she could stomach the type of legal gymnastics that allowed children to disappear on paper.
As night approached, Mae used some of her money to buy the children dinner.
Winona and Mae staved off their hunger with a cup of tea and the remnants left behind by the children.
It hadn’t taken long for the children to nod off in the sleeper car.
Winona and Mae had bookended the children on the narrow mattress, with Mae facing the window and Winona along the aisle.
The soft hiss of the heat pipes kept rhythm with the chug of the wheels.
Even Mae's eyelids had begun to droop. A soft light still glowed on the opposite side of the curtain for people walking through the aisles to find their berths.
If Mae concentrated, she could track the shadows of their bodies in the reflection in the window.
Sounds of Mr. Foster’s smooth, calm voice resonated against the sounds of the train.
As she focused on the wording of his veiled threats, she found herself wondering where he was on the train.
Had he paid someone to watch them? Would a porter come to take Simon in the middle of the night while she slept?
Would there be a police officer waiting for their arrival in New York?
She heard the porter shuffling in the aisle.
Though her body cried for sleep, her mind wouldn’t quiet.
As her breath quickened with the rampant thoughts, little puffs of breath condensed onto the window, creating perfect circles.
Winona turned over and let out a long sigh. Apparently, she wasn’t sleeping either. Should Mae tell her about Mr. Foster? What if she were also in harm’s way? She had a right to know what they were up against. “Winona…” Mae finally whispered into the darkness.
“Mmm…” Winona murmured.
“I need to tell you something.” The circles on the window grew bigger with each word Mae uttered.
“About what?”
She should make something else up… She squeezed her eyes shut as her body stilled. “A man has been following us…” She let the words tumble out before she could change her mind.
Mae could see Winona’s body partially sit up and block the light coming from the aisle as a quiet gasp filled her ears. “What?”
“He’s been following me since before we left New York.”
“And yer jus tellin’ me now?” Irritation bloomed into anger at the question.
“I didn’t think it had anything to do with Lily.”
“Ye didn’t think—where is he now?” Her voice flattened into a demand.
“I don’t know. I saw him at the ticket agent’s window. I didn’t have enough money to pay for our fares…”
“Why would he pay for us?” She asked incredulously.
Upon hearing the events aloud, Mae realized how inane she sounded. “I don’t know. But he knows about the children. How we… got them back.”
“What does he ‘ave to do wit the bairns?” A sudden degree of fear could be heard in her tone.
“He has something to do with the removal of the children. Remember when I threatened the matron about the ‘unusual’ circumstances of the removals?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I think he must push the children to specific orphanages and get paid for their adoptions.”
Winona was quiet, and Mae watched her frame still in the window. The deep breathing of the children continued, matching the tempo of the hissing radiator. “So by gettin’ the bairns back, we messed up ‘is plan?”
“I think so.”
“But then why would he pay for us to go back wit ‘em to New York?”
“I don’t know, but he said they have paperwork on the children.
With our names on it. That man who tried to adopt Lily—he filed a complaint so now there’s a paper trail—” Mae's voice broke off as she gulped for air.
“He said… misplaced files will stay misplaced as long as the right procedures are followed.”
Winona’s breathing stopped for a heartbeat. Mae needed her to respond. She needed someone to tell her what to do. She needed Henry. When Winona didn’t answer, Mae continued, “Winona, what if he asks me to help take other children?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Hide paperwork on the children? Adjust the paperwork to keep the removals technically legal? He said he would contact me when we returned.”
Winona drew in a stark breath. “Ye can’t, Mae.
Ye jus can’t. Think of the misery we endured bein’ separated from the bairns.
Ye can’t do it to someone else.” The pain in her voice tore at Mae's heart. She hoped that wasn’t what he wanted from her, but if it was?
If it meant keeping Simon? Then what choice would she have?
“Winona, I don’t have a choice. He made it clear that the review could be reopened.
I could lose Simon all over again.” Some of this last bit had been implied, but what else could he have meant?
As Lily rolled toward Simon, he reached his arm out and it settled on Mae's side. It almost felt like a hug. She couldn’t lose him again.
“There ‘as to be another way…” Winona trailed off.
“Like what? I can’t think of any way to protect Simon other than doing what he asks.” Her breath came faster, and the puffs on the windows began to expand, covering any view Mae had of Winona’s frame.
Winona was silent. The hissing from the radiator grew louder by the minute. “Do you think doing things to protect Simon will make me no different from him?”
Winona lay back down. Her voice was strained but clear. “I won’t let you become him. You must walk a fine line. If we’ve no choice… We’ll protect what’s ours.”