18. Ezryn
Ezryn
My legs burn from the squat position I sank into hours ago, but I haven’t been able to move. I still can’t; my body feels frozen, my heart pounding a sluggish rhythm against my ribs, as if it’s too much effort to even beat.
In the corner of the smithy, Kairyn is a flurry of movement as he wields a hammer with deadly accuracy, assaulting a wooden dummy. I’m surprised his voice isn’t raw from the guttural roars that have been tearing out of him.
And in the moonlight that filters through the maw of Draconhold Forge, Dayton paces, leaping every time he catches his reflection in a shield or the glint of a sword. Terrified of the man staring back at him.
George left. I didn’t stop him. No point. He doesn’t have anything anyone wants anyway.
We’d figured out what had happened by the time Dayton returned. I’d healed the worst of George’s wounds—a gash to his head and a dislocated shoulder. But nothing can heal this.
It’s gone.
The rose is gone.
Our one hope for turning the tide against Sira, for being able to help Rosalina while she’s trapped Below…
Gone. In the blink of an eye.
Amid Kairyn’s roars of frustration, I hear Dayton mumbling to himself.
He paces like a caged animal, turquoise eyes wide and unseeing.
“He wasn’t even here, and he could control me.
He yanked my strings from across the realms. What is this body?
Nothing but an effigy for his use. A fake, that’s what I am.
A wraith who cannot trust my own hands.”
Kairyn lets loose a banshee-like howl, throwing a hammer, shoulders trembling. “All for nothing! I could have told you! She’s unstoppable. Nothing will ever change that. What Sira wants, she gets, by blood and by force. Useless to hope. Why did I think…”
I need to say something. They need me to say something.
But what can I say? They’re right. Dayton is a pawn on Caspian’s board. Whatever move we make, Sira’s there waiting. Who am I to offer them hope? I am leader of the rats alone.
“Are you three still in here moping?” a voice calls from the entrance of Draconhold. Slowly, I crane my neck to look, the mere act like moving through sludge.
George stands there, backlit by moonlight. He looks tall from this angle, sapphire gaze sharp and warm at the same time. He must have found a stream, for he’s washed all the dirt from his face and clothes.
“Where were you,” I say, not even able to manage the inflection of a question.
“Never you mind that. It’s far too dark in here. Let us get some light.”
None of us seem capable, but George strides in and gathers lanterns on the workbench, filling the space with a warm, golden glow.
We are as still as Kairyn’s abused dummy, merely watching this human man bustle around.
He leaves for a few minutes, then comes back from the communal kitchen with some sliced mango, four cups of steaming coffee, and a plate of polvorones—which I know he didn’t find in this kitchen. Where were you exactly?
With a deep sigh, he settles on the workbench, then gestures to the empty space around him. “Come now, join an old man.”
I don’t know how I’m going to eat, but I can’t resist the smell of coffee. My legs creak as I stand and shuffle over to the seat opposite him. Kairyn sits in a huff beside George, nearly tipping the bench before it settles back down.
Dayton wanders over but stays hovering in my peripheral, as if he’s afraid to get too close.
“So we’re in a spot of trouble, aren’t we?” George says with a mouthful of polvorón.
“This isn’t trouble, George,” Kairyn growls. “This is defeat. Something I’m all too familiar with now.”
“Without the rose, all our plans are futile,” I say.
George nods and takes a large slurp of his coffee. “Well, not all our plans. I’d say one seems to be going exceedingly well.”
I raise a brow. “Oh?”
“My daughter’s plan. You said you heard her voice in your mind, did you not, Dayton? That means she’s no thrall.” A mischievous twinkle lights in George’s eye. “She’s an inside agent.”
“Yeah, well, she’s on her own. Again,” Dayton growls. “We were supposed to save her. Instead, I’ve only endangered her more.”
“Then I suppose we’ll have to find other ways to be helpful,” George says.
Kairyn gives a loud snort. “What else is there? We’ve got a possessed gladiator, a prince with no power, and me.” His red eyes flash downward. “A bloody demon.”
“Come now, that’s not the attitude we need right now. Let’s hear some ideas. Ezryn?”
George fixes his gaze on me, but I look away. There’s nothing to say.
“Dayton?” George turns to him.
“Kairyn is right,” Dayton mumbles. “We’re worse than Sira’s monsters.”
Silence fills the chamber, sharp and acrid. I welcome it, this discomfort. It is what we deserve—
Slam! George thumps his coffee cup down so hard on the workbench, it sloshes everywhere. “Now, this is quite enough! It is not becoming of three members of royalty to be so disparaging when so many others are rising to face hardship greater than we can imagine.”
All three of us are on edge by his sudden movement, too shocked to reply.
His eyes crinkle, his gaze softening. “Look, boys. I’ve done terrible things in my life.
Things that will haunt me until my last breath.
Do you know what kind of monster I saw in the mirror, sitting alone in my cabin in Orca Cove after my daughter sacrificed herself for me?
I saw a man who abandoned his child. And there is no greater shame than that. ”
He rises to his feet, circling us, his presence heavy, his voice steady. One by one, he meets our eyes, holding us there.
“But do you see me whinging in the dark? Well, yes, but only because I’m stuck with you three.
” A flicker of humor, gone as quickly as it came.
“No. I made peace with my evils. I faced them. I looked into the eyes of those I hurt and apologized. And then I spent every damned day trying to live in a way that would make my daughter proud.”
He stops, turning to us fully.
“Now it’s your turn. Stand up and wipe the blood off your pride. You think you’ve lost everything? No. You still have a choice. Make the right one.”
I realize I haven’t blinked in minutes. I give my head a shake, the weight of the helm comforting.
Kairyn lets out a slow exhale and runs a hand through his hair, across his horns. “You make it sound so damn simple,” he mutters, voice quiet but edged with something sharp. “Like we just decide to be better, and suddenly we are.” His crimson gaze flicks to George. “What if it’s not enough?”
There’s something raw in his voice, as if he’s afraid to believe in the possibility George offers. Hope is dangerous. Hope can break a man worse than defeat ever could.
“It’s not simple, Kai. And it’s never enough.” He lets the words settle, heavy between us. “Nothing you do will change what’s already been done. No apology, no grand gesture, no amount of regret will rewrite the past. But that’s not the point.”
He gestures at all of us.
“You don’t do it because it erases the wrongs. You do it because it’s right. And because if you don’t, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’ve let the worst parts of yourself win.”
He grabs Kairyn’s hand and squeezes it.
“Spring is the season of rebirth. For new beginnings. It’s never too late.”
My brother doesn’t respond but looks to where George clasps his hand. Then he puts his own over it and gives a terse nod.
Magic shimmers in the air, and we turn to the entrance of Draconhold to see the golden wolf. Moonlight illuminates the pearly shells and coral laced in his fur as well as the leather bag strapped to his powerful back.
“Where are you going, Dayton?” I call.
“To Autumn,” the wolf responds. “George is right. Neither Farron nor I can change what happened. If this is our fate, then I would weather it together.”
A smile breaks across George’s face. “Run! Run like the summer’s wind!”
Kairyn, George, and I move to the entranceway to watch Dayton lope away from the forge and out of the city proper. Silence falls over us when he disappears from view, but it’s not the sharp quiet of earlier. It is the contentment of hope.
“And you, Ezryn?” George asks. “What will you do?”
I cast my gaze across Florendel to where Keep Hammergarden sits, surrounded by cherry blossom trees. “I suppose it’s time I walk the Hall of Vernalion once more.”
“Oh good.” George turns. “Because I’ve been to the keep and told Tilla to prepare for your coronation.”