29. Farron
Farron
Iblink, slow and heavy, the way one does when waking up after a long sleep. A shaky inhale rattles through my lungs.
Then I nod.
So many horrible thoughts assault my mind when I let the haze drift away.
The bloodcurdling screams, the shatter and squelch of thorns through flesh and armor, the intense scent of lavender and intestines on the wind.
And a guilt that scrambles with claws and fangs through my body, tearing at me with such fury, all I want to do is fade—
But…when I look down at Dayton…
It seems as if there’s a dreamy glow emanating from him. And if I stay within it, nothing bad can touch me.
Dayton looks up at me with those earnest eyes.
He’s changed from his road clothes, but his hair is a matted mess.
I imagine weaving my hands through it, untangling the golden strands, braiding the front pieces back so no part of his beautiful face is hidden.
Regardless of whether he’s clad in armor or candlelight, he looks the perfect hero.
No wonder he always leaves. Autumn is what becomes of Summer when it’s time to die.
“I always come back,” Dayton says.
“What?” Where did that come from?
“I’ll always come back,” Dayton repeats.
There’s a single beat of silence, and then we are two magnets, pulled together, not daring nor wanting to fight against it anymore.
Dayton runs his hands up the sides of my body, then twines his fingers through my hair.
I trace the lines of his jaw, his cheeks, knowing them intimately yet needing to reassure myself all the same.
We stare at each other. Our breath mingles.
Then we both lurch forward into a kiss, hungry and desperate and sad all at once.
His body presses against mine. I kiss him like I need it, and I do.
More than oxygen. More than sunlight. More than the beating of my own heart.
As long as he kisses me, I am sustained.
I scoot back on my bed, and Dayton scrambles up to join me. Though I know he hasn’t been to Hadria in days, he still smells of Summer. The whiff of salt and sunbaked stone mixed with the heady spiced scent of Autumn reminds me of our younger days.
We collapse onto the bed, kissing. My hands roam his neck, the muscles of his shoulders, the strength of his arms. He engulfs me in an embrace, his tongue dancing with mine.
There’s a purity in the way he kisses me, basking me in that light of his that chases away the rest of the world. What would it be like, to live without fear, without war, without the threat of violence against all we hold dear?
The thought drags a raspy inhale from my throat, and I pull away.
“Fare?”
“What is good outside this?” I whisper. “Rosie’s trapped. Kel’s captured. I have poisoned us and—”
“No, no, no,” Dayton murmurs and begins kissing my neck, hand stroking the scruff of my beard. “Are you crazy, Fare? There’s so much good on the horizon. We just have to get there. I promise.”
I tilt my head up, staring emptily at the canopy of my bed. “Like what?”
“Like…the next summer equinox celebration! It will be Delphie’s turn to compete in the Luminae Games, following in her big brothers’ footsteps. Can you imagine that? I’ll be cheering so loud, you’ll have to hold on to your ears.”
An image drifts through my mind’s eye. Dayton and Rosalina in the stands, hooting and hollering like mad people. Nori reaching out to grab my hand as she watches Delphia fight across the sands, the way I once watched Dayton when he competed as a gladiator.
A fantasy. As good as a fairy tale.
Dayton trails kisses along my collarbone. “And…what about the scriptorium restoration project? Nori mentioned it to me. Everyone working together to rebuild the greatest library the Vale has ever known!”
Another image. Me, sitting at a beautiful table carved of alder wood, stacks of books before me. Ezryn bringing samples of plants from the Spring Realm for me to catalog. Keldarion reciting all the stories told at the Festival of Tales so we can commit them to paper, never to be forgotten.
A future that will never come to pass. Not as the world is now.
“And…there will be weddings.” Dayton kisses my chin, then up to the point of my jaw.
“What weddings?” I murmur.
“Well, ours, of course. And Rosie’s. Pros of doing them all separately—you know, yours and Rosie’s, mine and Rosie’s, and yours and mine—is we get three parties and probably three times the number of presents.
But we could also have one big wedding. I think the night of celebration would be worth it.
” Dayton pops up on his hands to stare down at me with the most ridiculous grin.
It’s so hopeful, so absurdly optimistic, I can’t help but smile myself, just a little. “Are you serious?”
“Come on. I’m not letting Kel get all the glory of being Rosie’s one and only husband. And Ezryn can plan his own wedding. You know how Spring celebrations are. So stuffy.”
It’s such a lovely idea. The promise of a lifetime together, all of us.
But there’s no path into that future for me.
My chest squeezes, and my heart starts beating too fast. I pull away from Dayton. He stares at me quizzically. He doesn’t understand, but how could he? Despite the Green Flame, he’s always known who he is. It never changed him, not really. Not like how it changed me.
My words come out short and clipped as I rush to get them out. If I don’t speak now, I’m sure these thoughts will be stolen from me forever. “I’m so afraid, Day. So afraid I’ve lost who I am. I’m wandering through the flame and can’t find my way out.”
Dayton cups my face, his brow furrowed. “You’re my Farron. Wise and clever and kind. You’re not lost, ’cause I’ve always got you right here.” He grabs my hand and places it over his heart. “Stay with me, and I’ll lead you out. I’ll remind you who you are.”
I entangle myself with him, kissing and grabbing at his clothes, his hair, his skin, as if trying to become part of him. If only I could live in his heart. There, I’m wise and clever and kind. Not the clawing, fearful wraith of a man I truly am.
With each kiss, that wretched version of me feels further away. I settle, like sand shifting into place. I was never perfectly at home in Summer, nor was Dayton at home in Autumn. And Castletree always seemed to belong more to our ghosts—Dayton’s brother and my mother.
But I feel at home now, wherever he is.
I ease off his shirt, desperate for the warmth of his skin. It radiates with sunlight, so strong maybe it can burn the evil parts of me away.
He follows suit, tugging off my tunic. I don’t want anything between us, be it shadows or clothing. I tug off his pants.
His substantial manhood springs free, hard as steel. With quick, ravenous movements, I run my hand along the silken skin before clutching the base. A shiver of relief pours over me. This cock has always made me feel powerful when I need to be powerful, vulnerable when I need to be vulnerable.
Dayton throws his head back, letting out a low moan, then blinks his eyes open and stares at me. He smiles.
“I wish I could be the person you see,” I whisper.
“Look through my eyes, Fare,” he says reverently.
If only I could. Become such a part of him that our hearts would beat as one, that I could bear his pains, even our thoughts intertwined.
We kiss again, then pull away, staring. I can see it in his gaze, the same desire burning in me. We need each other now.
Dayton trails a hand along my waistband before tugging off my trousers. Gently, he pushes on my shoulder until I’m lying on my back, then positions himself between my legs. He sucks two fingers into his mouth.
“I love you,” he murmurs, then presses his fingers into my entrance.
A great sigh rumbles through my chest. Immediately, I relax for him, every muscle within me desperate for his touch. I picture the sunlight that radiates from him skittering across me. I know that’s impossible, but it’s a pretty thought.
Rays of pleasure beam through my body as I move in rhythm with Dayton’s hand. I’ve craved him these last few weeks, though I wouldn’t admit it to myself. Now, I’m desperate for more.
“So good, baby,” Dayton murmurs. “That’s right. Loosen up for me. I’m going to make you feel so good. Trust me.”
I stretch my palms across his chest. “More. Please. I need all of you, Day.”
His gaze flashes with intensity. We both know this is not the time for teasing or games. This feels like we’re both reading from a spell or wielding a divine weapon together. Something sacred and powerful.
Dayton pulls his hand away, causing a shiver up my spine. “Whatever you wish.” He grabs the base of his cock and notches himself in my entrance. The smallest amount of contact sends my stomach looping.
As he’s about to press in, I rake my fingers down his chest. “Wait!”
Dayton quirks his head.
“Are you going to leave me again?” I breathe. Like you did the first summer we spent together? Like you did all those nights in Castletree? Like you did on the starfield outside Frostfang? Because I would. I would leave me.
But Dayton has never been one to heed my advice, and for once, I’m glad he can’t hear my thoughts. He smiles and leans down, placing the whisper of a kiss over my lips. “Never ever. Never ever ever.”
Then he straightens and plunges his massive length inside me.
I cry out, the sudden sensation of fullness a shower of sparks through my body. I loop my legs over his hips and move with him. It’s an old dance but one that feels brand-new every time.
Dayton looks like a sea god from ancient Summer legends, his blond hair wild, skin sun-kissed as a bronze statue. He ruts into me with such power, I could imagine him standing atop a rock, splashed with white foam, commanding the waves to do his bidding.
He is the call, and I am the answer, my body responding to his with each movement. My breathing turns ragged, and I vary between clawing at the blanket and his skin, barely able to contain myself.
The rhythmic slap of his body against mine, our panting, the rustle of bedsheets—it is a symphony, spiraling around us more beautiful than any choir.
A feeling grows within me, something deeper than physical pleasure. The warmth that surrounds my heart, the one that keeps me safe. The tether that makes my life worth living.
It’s not the Green Flame. No, it’s something more powerful.
It’s my bond with Rosalina, singing out with joy. And it’s louder than ever before, a chorus rising between Dayton and me. It’s light and music and magic and love. Pure love. I see it between our chests like a tiny sun, so full it’s about to burst and shower us in starlight.
Dayton holds my gaze with his. “You stay with me. Follow me out, Fare. I’ll lead you. Don’t look back, okay? Don’t look back.”
I grasp his face. Lead me out of the flames. I can follow him, follow this light. There is a path for me—
He’d be dead if it weren’t for me.
The voice rushes through me like an icy sigh. No, you were gone. You left me. You were gone…
The light blooming between Dayton and me fades, jolting into his chest. It dims, revealing…
A gaping arrow hole. The one left by the Bow of Radiance.
“Hey! Stay with me, Fare.”
Dayton grabs my shoulders and squeezes hard. I shake my head. The wound disappears, revealing his skin, unmarred and perfect.
Leaning down, Dayton kisses me, murmuring over my lips, “You are my Farron. Stay with me. Through every season and every storm.”
The light is gone, but so is the voice. So I do the only thing I can. I surrender to him.
It overtakes us together, the powerful, united release. Dayton roars a godly roar, his body emptying all his passion and pain into me. I take it willingly, my chest painted with my own evidence of our love. It is a tidal wave, dimming the emerald sparks still burning within me.
As Dayton collapses over me, I loop my arms around his neck and hold him tightly, burying my head in his hair and willing him not to feel the tears pouring down my cheeks. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.
“Never ever ever,” he mumbles sleepily.
We lie there entwined for a long time, until the candles burn low.
I know we should get up and wash, but I can’t bear to move away from him. I stroke his hair, carefully untangling the knots with my fingers. His breathing turns steady and heavy as he teeters on the edge of sleep.
It was beautiful, that light that bloomed between us. For a moment, I wondered if it was possible that it was brighter than the Green Flame.
But though Dayton is a hero and as beautiful as his love is, he can’t fix me.
I lift my hand, staring at it. Can I fix me?
A strange sound whispers through the room, a fluttering. Dayton jerks up, looking around with glazed eyes. “Huh? What’s that?”
I catch sight of it in the candlelight. A small bird, formed of paper. It must have slipped in through the crack in my balcony door.
It looks the same as the one I received this morning, telling me of the lost rose.
Dayton snatches it out of the air and unfolds it. My heart shudders, and a deep sense of foreboding fills me. “I can’t take any more bad news,” I mumble.
Dayton smiles. “No, this is good news. It’s an invitation.”
“What?”
The candlelight flickers playfully in his turquoise gaze. “An invitation to the recoronation of High Prince Ezryn of Spring.”