Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
“Don’t be silly,” Helena said. “Nobody’s supposed to see me. I am in hiding.”
Amelia’s eyes gleamed with mischief. “Oh, that won’t be a problem! The ladies are expected to wear veils in Kirk. I have a particularly heavy black veil that will completely obscure your face. We’ll say you’re a visiting widow, come to catch my brother’s eye.”
Helena’s face turned crimson. “Now, why would we say that?”
“Because it explains your presence, and no one will question it. They’ll simply gossip behind their hands and say how you’re wasting your time. A titillating tale that will entertain them for days, and they’ll forget all about any runaway girls from a convent.”
Helena blinked, unsure whether Amelia was the most brilliant or the most reckless person she’d ever met.
Probably both.
“If you’re certain…”
“Yes, yes, I’m certain!” Amelia clapped her hands. “We’ll start spreading the word today. I have already arranged for one of the servants to whisper that a distant widowed aunt has come to visit, and I’m planning to attend the concert with her.”
“But—”
“Oh, we will be in the company of my governess, of course,” Amelia assured her with a grin. “It wouldn’t be proper for me to attend otherwise. But I’ll be able to see everything and send word to you about how things are going.”
Helena was taken aback by Amelia's foresight. “I suppose, if you’re sure it won’t cause problems…”
Amelia bounced in place, clearly delighted. “Oh, I cannot wait! We shall have such a merry time!”
Helena nodded, though reluctantly. The thought of stepping out of the castle walls was undeniably tempting.
Perhaps I can even find out what’s happening at Downfield Hall.
Suddenly, she was almost eager to see if Amelia’s plans would work.
“Lady Amelia and Lady Helena will be going to Kirk today, Your Grace. Will you be joining them?”
Silas frowned. This was the first that he was hearing of it. He knew that Amelia loved to attend Sunday services, mostly because she enjoyed the singing.
Silas’s frown deepened. “Where are they now?”
“In the carriage, Your Grace.”
Silas shot to his feet. “Fetch my horse,” he ordered as he marched quickly through the castle grabbing his coat and hat, and exchanging his house slippers for Hessians, all while muttering to himself. “I cannot believe those two. What could they possibly be thinking?”
By the time his horse had been fetched, the women were long gone. He followed at a fast clip.
The village of Kirk was not far, thankfully, and almost everyone who attended was a tenant. Even if they saw Helena, they would hopefully keep their mouths shut.
He arrived at the chapel just as the congregation stood to sing. He lingered at the back, eyes scanning the crowd for his sister and Helena. His gaze darted over the rows of heads until he finally spotted them at the far end of the first row.
Amelia, in her usual garb of bright, cheerful colors, stood out easily.
Helena was another matter entirely. She was cloaked in black from head to toe, her shapeless attire and the thick black veil obscuring her features. With the heaviness of her veil, she could have been anyone.
Silas let out a quiet sigh of relief.
Perhaps they’re not as reckless as I’d thought.
Nevertheless, he squeezed into the back row, wanting to keep an eye on them.
“So, how was your day?” Silas eyes swung from Amelia to her, an air of expectation shrouding him as they sat at the dinner table.
Helena smiled at Amelia. “It was fine,” she said.
“Oh? Is that how you found Kirk, then? Fine?” he asked.
Amelia had the grace to look sheepish. “We were careful,” she said softly.
Helena nodded in agreement, “I was dressed in a veil, Your Grace. Nobody recognized me.”
Silas glared at them both. “You took a completely unnecessary risk. What if your uncle had been watching our estate? What do you think he would make of two ladies traipsing off to the village on their own?”
Helena’s gaze flickered to the table before meeting his.
“If Uncle James’s men were around, they surely would have grabbed me,” she replied, then paused, her fingers absently tracing the rim of her glass.
“But… I know you have people watching him,” she added, her voice quieter now.
“That gave me the confidence to go out. If there was any sign that he was near, I trusted that your men would have warned me. I know it was risky. But I wanted to feel… normal, even for just a few hours.”
Silas leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving Helena as he considered her words.
There was a momentary flicker of something, approval, perhaps, for her bravery, but it quickly masked itself under his usual stoic composure.
“Normalcy, hm?” His voice was low, smooth, with a hint of something dangerous beneath.
“If you must risk yourself for such fleeting moments, then I suppose it’s as good an excuse as any.
Next time, don’t tempt fate so carelessly.
You might find it more dangerous than you expect, and even I can’t be everywhere at once. ”
Helena felt anxiety building inside of her.
What if I have put Charlie in danger?
“There is no way they would have known it was her,” Amelia chimed in seeing Helena’s anxiety. “We were very careful.”
Her reassuring words seemed to be more for Helena rather than Silas.
“You are lucky that my men are posted everywhere and would have warned me if there was somebody watching us,” Silas said, his voice still tinged with tension. “But you didn’t know that. Next time you feel the need to follow my sister into one of her schemes, have the courtesy to consult me first.”
“I only wanted to help—” Amelia whispered, but the words caught in her throat as she made a pained sound.
Then, she got to her feet and darted out of the dining hall.
Helena half-rose to follow her.
“Let her go,” Silas said, his tone softer, but still firm. “She’s frustrated, and frankly, so am I.”
Helena glared at him. “She’s a young lady who simply wanted to distract me from worry. There was no need to be so harsh.”
Silas let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not angry at her. I’m angry at myself for not keeping better control of the situation. But if you’re going to defend her every time she acts recklessly, how can I trust that you’ll listen when it’s really important?”
Helena’s brow furrowed. “You think you’re the only one entitled to act, to protect. I’m not some helpless girl for you to control.”
His expression softened slightly, but the frustration in his eyes remained. “That is not what I am trying to do. I don’t want to control you. But you, both of you, need to understand the stakes. You can’t just run off, not knowing what’s at risk.”
Helena’s voice shook with anger and frustration.
“That’s because you keep everything to yourself.
You think you can handle it all, but you don’t realize how lonely it is when you’re kept in the dark.
You don’t let anyone help you. You don’t even let anyone in.
” She shot to her feet, her fists clenched at her sides.
“And you could try to be kinder to Amelia. She wants to be close to you, but you push her away at every turn.”
Silas gave her a puzzled look. “I do not—”
“Perhaps you should ask her before making assumptions.”
Feeling completely fed up with him, she marched off, fuming as she climbed the stairs in search of Amelia.
She found the girl in her chambers, crying softly into her pillow.
“Now, now, darling, we cannot have that,” Helena said as she sat on the edge of Amelia’s bed and rubbed her back. “Your brother may be stubborn, but I know he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Amelia sat up and buried her head in Helena’s chest, still weeping. “I’m sorry for putting you in danger. I did not mean to. Can you forgive me?”
Helena embraced her. “Hush now. You did not put me in danger. That was a very kind thought. I do not want you to let your brother’s words spoil it. We had a lovely time today, did we not?”
Amelia hiccupped, sniffed and nodded, her head still buried in Helena’s bosom.
“Well then? Why all these tears?”
Finally, Amelia lifted her head, staring at Helena with dewy eyes. “I’m so glad you came here. I don’t know what I shall do when you leave.”
Helena frowned and felt as though she could hear her heart actually crack. “Even if I leave, that doesn’t mean we will not see each other again,” she spoke gently, “You have my word that I will make sure we do.”
Amelia buried her head back in Helena’s chest, bursting into more tears.
“You know what I think?” Helena said.
Amelia shook her head.
“I think that you’re hungry. Shall we ring the bell and have someone bring us something to eat up here?”
Amelia chuckled wetly. Sitting up and wiping her eyes, she nodded.
Silas pursed his lips as he sat alone in the music room, a post dinner brandy in his hand. He swirled the liquid around as he thought about Helena’s words.
Was I really too harsh?
He thought about his many interactions with his sister over the years.
He lived his life always wanting to be righteous. He wanted to be like his father. Every action, especially pertaining to Amelia, was preceded by one thought.
What would his father think of this?’
Now, Silas wondered if his unwavering loyalty to a dead man had led him to overlook Amelia’s wants and needs, prioritizing what he believed his father would have wanted instead.
He had never really thought about it before, but reflecting on it now, he could not be sure that he had ever taken her own opinion into account.
He sighed deeply. “What am I to do about it now? I cannot change the past.”
He got to his feet, moving to the piano and taking a seat at the bench. He played a few chords of a tune his mother had taught him a long time ago. Getting lost in the nostalgia of it, he played the entire song, humming along under his breath.