Chapter 20 #2
It was as much as Helena could stomach, having gotten used to living in a small cold cell, with one threadbare blanket and one change of clothes.
She couldn’t help but feel unworthy of how hard everyone worked on her behalf. How warm and dry and comfortable she was, in comparison to just a few weeks ago.
She thought about all the girls left in the convent and was filled with guilty relief at having escaped that life, yet she couldn’t quite shake it off.
Lying with her head cradled on a small pillow while her body softened and warmed in the hot bath, a part of her couldn’t help expecting that any moment one of the nuns would walk in brandishing a belt.
“How dare you think that you can lie about like this, enjoying yourself. Sinful girl!” the nun would cry, and then whip her until she bled.
A soft knock on the door had her gasping and jerking, flailing as she swallowed some water, and then choking. She coughed and spat, shifting about as she tried to push herself out of the bath.
Suddenly her waist was held by strong hands that pulled her effortlessly upward.
“Are you all right?” Silas asked as he set her down on the rug outside the tub.
His brow was furrowed as he looked at her with concern.
She could barely talk, still trying to cough water out of her lungs.
He rubbed her back soothingly, and she realized with mortification that she was standing in front of her husband without a stitch of clothing on.
She usually managed to be tucked in bed, dressed in her shift, by the time he came to her.
Her entire body flushed a deep red and she dipped her head down so she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. Finally, to her relief, she was able to stop coughing. It was embarrassing enough being naked without having him watch her hack like a chimney sweep.
“Helena?” he asked softly.
She peeped at him through her eyelashes.
“Are you all right?”
“Y-yes.” She gave one more cough and was relieved that it didn’t go on and on.
“Right… well.” He bent down and lifted her into his arms.
She squeaked in surprise, crossing her legs as he carried her over to the bed. Her breasts were bouncing up and down, but there wasn’t much she could do about it.
“I knocked on your door because I came across your lady’s maid going upstairs to bed. I assumed that you had already gone to bed yourself.” His eyes dropped to her naked body as he put her on her feet again and he frowned. “Does she often leave before finishing with you?”
She put a quelling hand on his chest. “I asked her to go. I’m perfectly capable of getting out of the bath on my own.”
He grinned. “It didn’t look that way to me.”
Then, his eyes dropped to her breasts, and his gaze darkened with desire. He reached out with both hands and cupped her breasts, massaging gently.
“You must be cold,” he said. “Do you want to get into bed?”
She huffed. “Cold? How could I possibly be cold after that hot bath, with the fire blazing so high?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Is it so ridiculous then?”
She snorted. “After the convent? Yes it is.”
He looked towards the bath. “What happened over there? Why were you flailing about like that?”
Her cheeks burned even more. “I was just startled.”
All the while, he was massaging her breasts. She didn’t know if she should say something about it or not.
“Perhaps next time I might join you, if you like to lounge in your bath.” He smirked.
She looked towards the narrow wooden tub with doubt in her eyes. “I do not think you would fit.”
“Mmm, I don’t know. If you were to sit on me, I think we’d fit just fine.”
Her eyes narrowed as she tried to imagine it.
It was difficult because his hands on her breasts were very distracting.
But when she finally visualized it, the two of them, naked, in hot water, with her in his lap, her eyes widened.
His… hardness… would be right under…her brain scrambled, even trying to think about it.
He laughed and she turned to look at him inquiringly. “You know it’s strange. When you first came here, your eyes were so opaque I could barely see a thing in them. But now… it’s like a window into your mind, the glass clear so I can see everything you’re thinking.”
She blinked a few times, nonplused. “And… what was I… thinking?”
Still smiling, he bent down and whispered in her ear, his breath ghosting on her wet neck and making her shiver while his hands moved from her breasts to her waist, holding her close.
“You were imagining us together, in the bath.”
She blanched, her face paling and then showing her colors. Her lashes fluttered as she didn’t know where to look.
“I-I-I…” she stammered.
“Don’t worry,” he continued to whisper, “We will fit very… very… snugly.”
“Oh.” She felt her knees go weak.
As if on cue, he picked her up again, and dropped her on the bed. She looked up at him, noticing for the first time that he was also dressed for bed in a banyan and a dressing gown.
He undid the knot from the dressing gown and dropped it to the floor, and then took off his slippers before sitting down on the bed, one knee folded beneath his derriere, as he considered her naked body.
She watched him watch her in silence, her embarrassment gradually receding.
“That’s how I know you do trust me. Because you let me see you.”
Her mind scrambled for a moment, confused about what he might be talking about before she remembered his earlier comment about her eyes.
She sat up. “And what of you? Do you not trust me?”
His eyes went through a flurry of emotions, too quick for her to make out and then his sinfully long lashes swept downwards, hiding his eyes from her.
“It is not that I don’t trust you…” He looked up and into her eyes, as if to prove it.
“It is just that…” He inclined his head, his mouth working as if trying to find the right words.
“When you are the one who is responsible for everyone… you tend to stay vigilant at all times. Add being an agent for the Crown…”
“And it is hard for your walls to come down,” she finished for him.
He pursed his lips and nodded, shrugging ruefully.
She pulled up her knees, wrapping her arms around them so that she didn’t feel so exposed. “I suppose I can understand that… being always vigilant. But now I’m here and I can help you.”
He huffed. “You are also my responsibility.”
“Yes, but I am used to looking after myself too…and those around me. So perhaps you can be my responsibility, and then you do not have to be vigilant all the time. Sometimes, I can relieve you.”
He shook his head, bemused. “I have never heard a woman speak in such a manner.”
“I understand women are meant to be retiring and frail, but I do not know how to be that. I don’t want to be another burden on you. You might get too tired one day, and then where would we all be?”
He laughed quietly, looking down. “I won’t get tired.”
“Everybody gets tired.”
He straightened his leg with a sigh, turning to lay on the pillow beside her, and looking up at her with an amused smile. “So, you want to help me keep watch?”
She nodded, as she lay down as well, mimicking his pose. “I do.”
“Very well then. We’ll start tonight. Would you like to take over then?”
She frowned. “And how would I do that?”
He just continued to smile. “You are the leader, so lead.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, suspecting him of trying to show her she was being ridiculous. Her eyes raked his body, the top of his banyan, half undone, his chest gleaming cleanly in the firelight. The bottom of his banyan hid everything beneath effectively.
“Well, let’s start with your clothes. I certainly cannot be the only naked one in this bed.” Reaching for the banyan, she pulled it off, leaving him naked to her gaze.
He lay there, smirking at her, as she looked at him, her eyes unable to avoid looking downward at his erect member. She took a deep breath, her entire body liquefying at the sight. She thought again about them in the bath and if she were on top of him.
“Can…?” she began to ask, before losing her nerve.
“Ask,” he said softly.
“Would I be able to… on top?” Her cheeks were flaming.
He smiled and then lay down, spreading his hands wide without saying a word. His member stood erect, and she was unable to look elsewhere.
Slowly she crawled to him, and swung her leg over his hips, looking down at him, wondering if she could do it, if it would hurt.
“Are you… sure?” she asked, lifting her gaze to look him in the eye.
“I am yours to do with as you wish,” he said. “Don’t hold back, wife. Take what you need.”
Taking a deep breath, she lifted up, walking on her knees to land just above him. Slowly, she lowered herself, feeling him below her but not inside of her. She rubbed herself against him and he closed his eyes, gasping and panting, his hips canting upward.
He likes it, she thought with surprise.
Slowly, tentatively, she reached between her legs, taking his member in hand, while watching his reaction closely. He made a low moaning sound, eyes closed, and didn’t seem to be suffering, so she clasped his member, squeezing slightly.
He jumped, hips bucking upward and groaned, his hands fisting as if he was stopping himself from reacting further.
She lifted up, rubbing his tip against herself, looking for her entrance. She pressed downward and he moaned and jerked, before his hand covered hers, guiding her gently lower. Finally, he was able to breach her.
Her eyes went wide as he went deeper, deeper than he’d ever gone before. She pressed down in curiosity, feeling him in her belly and wondering just how much deeper he could go.
“Oh…” she moaned, eyes closed, head thrown back.
This was more than she could ever have imagined. She had thought he’d possessed her before, but this was…
She had no words.
His big hands grasped her hips and then he was pulling out and slamming into her again.
“Oh…” she said, louder.
He did it again, and again and she moaned louder with each thrust. Remembering that she was supposed to be in control, she began to rise and fall with him, slamming down as he thrust upwards and then letting him go.
“Oh my,” she cried, feeling as if there was such a thing as too much pleasure.
“There you go, darling. That’s it. Say my name,” he growled, looking deep into her eyes.
“Silas,” she hissed, her mouth puckering and working as she bounced up and down on him, realizing she had the power to make herself feel whatever she wanted.
She could go faster or slower, deeper or shallow, swirl around, even, letting him touch all her walls and set them alight.
He was an instrument of her pleasure, a conduit to joy, a tool to be wielded that could whip her body into a frenzy of delight. She fell into it, going faster, harder, teeth clenched as she took pleasure from him with shameless abandon.
“I’m here to give you what you want. Take it, all of it,” he groaned.
She could hear his sounds of encouragement and his groans of enjoyment, but they were secondary to her own bliss.
She surrendered completely to it, letting it go on and on, almost disappointed when she realized her climax was at hand.
She did not want this to end. Still, her flesh began to contract, cleaving onto his in violent embrace before letting him go with complete relaxation.
Again and again, she milked his pleasure as her own ebbed and flowed before bursting into a kaleidoscope of delight.
She rode her own completion to a shore of repletion and bonelessness.
Collapsing onto his chest, all she could do was pant as her body tried to replenish all the lost energy it had dissipated in pursuit of happiness.
Her eyes closed, heart racing, muscles spent, and she knew there was no better feeling on earth or in heaven.
“I like leading,” she breathed.
He chuckled, his chest rising and falling beneath her in tandem with hers, flesh gleaming with sweat.
She ran her hands down his chest, just enjoying his hardness, so different from her own giving softness.
His hands went around her back, holding her close.
“Go to sleep, darling. I’ve got you,” he whispered, and she obeyed, slipping off into the arms of Morpheus between one moment and the next.