12. Sarah
CHAPTER TWELVE
sarah
The next few days passed in a whirlwind. Work, school, dripping the faucets as cold weather settled over the Texas Hill Country, and repeat.
What was new, though, was Sammy.
He made me happy. For the first time in what felt like forever, I had butterflies for someone who was interested in me. I felt like a stupid teenager again—and that scared the hell out of me.
“You look happy,” Brenda said as I sat down in the cushioned chair. “How’s your week been?”
It was Thursday, which meant therapy and a double shift. It was always the most exhausting day of the week, but today… Well, today, I felt good.
“It’s been different,” I said. “Good different? I think? There was an incident at the cafe last week. A couple blamed me for Thomas’ murders. The husband grabbed me.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“That part wasn’t. But then…” Fuck. I thought about the wa y Colt and Sammy had intervened, and how good it had felt to be in Colt’s arms, even though he made me so damn mad.
“Then?”
I swallowed hard. “Colton and Sammy came to my rescue. And he and I have started talking…” My cheeks were redder than a fire engine. “He’s really good.”
“Which one?”
Both of them. “Sammy,” I said.
She raised a brow. Brenda knew me too damn well. Sometimes it was uncomfortable.
“Alright, so I like both of them. Well, sort of. Colt and I have history and I haven’t talked to him yet. I’ve known Sammy most of my life and—yeah, he’s always been cute—but I’ve never once thought about him as anything more until now. So I guess that’s why this week has been good.”
“I see.” She clicked her pen. “Well, that’s good.”
“I think so,” I mumbled, looking out the window.
As our conversation moved on, my mind kept returning to Sammy. And Colt. And how I needed to figure out what the hell Sammy meant when he’d asked me if I was interested in Colt too.
And how there was a part of me that really wanted them both.
That was selfish, though. Right?
The rest of the session flew by. I had my tools to help me navigate the stress of knowing David was out of jail and the paranoia and worry along with that. I probably needed to call my lawyer back, but that was a problem for tomorrow.
I pulled into the Citrus Cove Cafe parking lot and frowned. Colt was leaning against his truck, parked next to my normal spot. It was cloudy out, but a patch of sun had fought through just to land on him.
Some might say it was a wink from god, but I really wasn’t sure when it came to him.
I parked beside him and got out. He looked up at me with a grim smile.
“What do you want?” I asked.
He winced. “I want to say I’m sorry.”
I sighed. “Before work?”
“I didn’t know when else to see you.”
“Have you heard of this thing called a phone? With text messages? Or are we having this conversation by pigeon, Colton Hayes?”
He relaxed a fraction and flashed me a brilliant smile. “Alright, alright, you have a point. After work? Can we please talk? Or whenever you’re free. I don’t care how long I have to wait, I just need to clear the air with you.”
I studied him for a moment. There was desperation in his voice, and it pained me. For years, the two of us had avoided each other because it hurt too damn much to wonder what if.
He was the first boy I ever loved.
He was also the first boy to ever break my heart.
Did I want to give him the chance?
Did I want to give us the chance?
“I work in the evening tomorrow,” I whispered. “But I’m free in the morning.”
“Can I take you to breakfast?”
“Yeah, so long as it’s not here.” I would rather eat anywhere else.
“Deal,” he said softly. “I’ll pick you up in the morning… Are you okay after what happened last week at the cafe?”
“Yeah. Well, I saw the woman again.” Did I tell him Sammy was with me? “Sammy took me and the boys to the movies. And she was outside the theater afterwards.”
“I heard about it,” he said, dragging his fingers through his blonde hair. “I’ve been keeping an eye out for their car, but haven’t seen them again. I’m sorry that happened. I’m glad he was with you. Were the boys okay?”
“Yes,” I said. “Concerned. But we didn’t tell them about my run-in here. I’m trying to protect them as much as I can.”
He nodded. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do. I’ll keep watching for them. Hunter had Bud run the license plate, but it was attached to a different car.”
That didn’t really bode well. “Great,” I mumbled.
“It’ll be okay. I’m keeping an eye out.”
“Do you always watch out for me?” I asked. I meant to sound teasing, but he nodded so sincerely that my breath left me.
“Yeah, Sarah. I always do. I should have done a better job of it while you were with David.”
Tears stung. I looked away from him, forcing myself to breathe. “Wasn’t your responsibility.”
“Maybe not. Doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
One breath, two… I crossed my arms and forced myself to look up at him. “It’s been years. After all this time…”
I trailed off. I couldn’t really do this right now.
He put his hands in his pockets, his boots digging into the gravel.
“I have to go. My shift is about to start.”
“Okay. Sorry I caught you before work. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“See you then.”
I practically ran for the back door. Once I got inside, I leaned against the wall and tried to hold back tears.
He couldn’t possibly blame himself for how David treated me. That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to him or me. I’d chosen to marry David. I’d believed he was the one, ignoring the voice inside my head that told me he wasn’t. I was stupid and young and naive.
I wasn’t any of those things anymore.
“Sarah? You okay?”
Alice spotted me from down the hall, her brows pinched together.
“I’m okay,” I said, pulling on the mask I wore so well.
I pushed all my feelings down and grabbed my apron. I tied it around my waist and headed down the hall past her.
“You sure?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Really, I’m fine. I’ll jump in.”
Alice pressed her lips, the disapproval apparent. “Alright. Let me know if you need anything. And I want you to take lunch between shifts, Sarah. No more working so long without a break.”
“Okay,” I sighed, although I certainly wasn’t going to make any promises.
“That couple hasn’t shown up again, just so you know. Debbie, Trey, and the new hire all know to keep a lookout.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m sorry for the trouble.”
She scoffed. “Not your fault. Don’t forget to take breaks.”
“I’ll try.”
Most days, I lost track of time while working. It was the same rhythm I’d been in for at least a decade—familiar, easy, and I could do it on autopilot.
And that’s exactly what I did. I took orders, served tables, chatted with all the regulars about the boys, the weather, the holidays—small and easy topics so I could think about Colt and Sammy.
The thing was, even when I was still married to David, I dreamed about love. Real love. Being cared for and cherished. At the time, I’d been convinced that maybe I could make it work with David, even though I knew deep down that it would never happen.
After the boys were born, he stopped pretending to try. He’d tell me I was too ugly, too gross, or not the same as I was in high school. At the time, it devastated me.
Now it just pissed me off.
The idea of being with someone new who could fulfill my needs was exciting. But it also meant trusting again. It meant rebuilding a life. And why would someone want to date me?
Sammy and Colt had lost their damn minds.
I was a single mom with two rowdy boys. I’d been married to the brother of a serial killer, a man who had ruined the lives of countless families. As they’d uncovered more evidence from the house, it became apparent how far his violence had reached.
There was no way David hadn’t been aware, even if his lawyer argued otherwise.
Then again, people said the same about me. The difference was that I hadn’t ever known David had a brother to begin with.
Dating him had been a way to get back at Colt in high school. It was childish thinking about it now. If I’d just talked to Colt about what happened all those years ago, things would have been so different.
The moon shone high in the summer sky, my clothes sticking to my skin. I used my visor mirror to fix my makeup as I thought about kissing Colton.
I had to make it happen. Since the beginning of this past school year, the two of us had been dancing around each other for months.
I loved him. I’d never wanted someone as much as I wanted him. He was perfect in every way possible. He was hot and sweet and told me he wanted to talk alone tonight.
He hadn’t dated anyone else either, so I was certain he felt the same.
Should I put on lipstick?
If he wanted to talk alone, I was certain that meant we’d kiss.
Nerves rolled through me. I decided against the lipstick and got out of the car, looking up at the Harlow family barn that rose in the distance. Other cars were parked in the grass, the sound of music and chatter drifting from within.
“Deep breath,” I whispered to myself.
I smoothed my hands down my dress and headed for the barn, looking for Colt. He was always easy to spot.
“Hey Sarah!” one of the girls called.
“Hey!” I smiled at them, but didn’t stop on my path to the barn, weaving between people.
I spotted Cameron, which usually meant Colt was nearby. He was sitting on top of a hay bale drinking a beer.
“Hey,” I called. “Where’s Colt?”
Cam snorted. “I’m not his keeper.”
I rolled my eyes. “You guys are always attached at the hip.”
“Is your sister here?”
“No,” I snapped, crossing my arms. At the last party, he’d dumped his beer on her and upset her, and now I’d never hear the end of how Cameron Harlow was evil incarnate. “She hates you and has vowed to never come to a party again. So thanks for that.”
He pressed his lips together and shrugged. “Colt went outside, I think. Try around back?”
Out back was where people usually went to make out…
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
I darted through the door that led back behind the barn. It was no surprise to see a few couples pressed against the walls kissing. Heat crept up the back of my neck as I felt a set of eyes on me. I glanced up, expecting to see Colt, but it wasn’t him who was looking at me. It was a lanky boy whose name I didn’t remember.
Laughter drew my attention. I looked out at the field that stretched for what felt like miles.
I spotted Colt in the distance.
What was he doing all the way out there? Was that where he wanted us to meet?
He ducked and disappeared into the tall grass.
I frowned and grabbed the hem of my dress, holding it close as I ventured into the grass. I was glad I’d worn boots. I’d taken them from Honey’s closet, but she never minded. The three of us often borrowed shoes from each other because they were so expensive.
I headed in the direction I’d seen Colt. Maybe I could sneak up on him and surprise him.
A soft groan made me frown as I got closer. I slowed down, keeping my steps light as the grass parted.
Oh.
Tears sprang to my eyes. Colt was on top of someone, their lips sealed together as they rolled in the dirt. I recognized him as one of the boys from band class.
I stood still for a shocked second before taking a step back. Then another. Then another, until I took off running toward the barn, holding back tears.
Why would he kiss someone else? Wasn’t he in love with me? I thought he wanted me.
I was such an idiot. I felt so foolish for ever thinking he would look at me that way. Maybe I’d been imagining things.
Over the heartbreak, a raw, burning fire consumed me. I was jealous.
Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I stepped out of the field. I was done with the party, done with this night.
I wanted to get in bed and cry and cease to exist and never see Colton Hayes again.
“Hey, Sarah, are you okay?”
I looked up, spotting that boy from earlier again. He had shaggy hair and dark eyes and was cute enough.
Cute enough to maybe make Colt jealous.
Or to at least show him I didn’t need him.
“I’m okay,” I said, wiping away the tears. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to remember your name.”
“David,” he said with a smile. “David Connor.”