21. Sarah
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
sarah
I snuck through the front door of my house, praying that Donnie wouldn’t hear me and start barking. I shut it quietly behind me, slipped my shoes off, hung my purse on the entryway hook, and listened for movement in the house. Everyone seemed to still be asleep.
The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind. From having a day off, to Sammy’s apartment break-in, to last night’s activities .
I’d never had sex like that before. They’d awakened something inside me—an unquenchable need for more touch, more kisses. For more snuggles too. They were both pretty damn good at cuddling.
On the way home, I’d decided to call the doctor’s office to ask for a birth control prescription. My doctor was someone I’d known since I’d given birth to the boys, so I didn’t think it would be an issue to get it quickly. And I’d been right. A perk of being in a small town meant that Dr. Garcia had texted me they’d be ready at the pharmacy on Monday.
I crept upstairs to the bathroom and started the shower, my thoughts on Sammy and Colt as I undressed and stepped under the hot water. Steam shimmered in the air as I washed my hair.
I kept smiling. It was hard not to after the way they’d touched me, kissed me… It just felt right. All the years I’d been with David, and there had never been a moment where he’d made me come that many times. Hell, I wasn’t sure he’d ever made me come.
I’d never felt so wanted before.
My pussy was sore after taking both of them at once, but it’d been worth it. I wanted to do that again and again. I tipped my head back as the hot water ran down my skin, thinking about Sammy’s mouth on me. On the way Colt had gripped my hips…
Fuck.
I flipped the water to cold and bit my lower lip, fighting the scream that froze all my horny thoughts in place. It was necessary to clear my head for the rest of the day. Otherwise, I’d be an incoherent, cock-hungry mess until I saw them again.
I finished my shower quickly and wrapped myself in a towel before sneaking to my bedroom. I opened the door and flipped on the light, and then paused.
The boys were snuggled under the blankets, fast asleep in my bed. I sighed, quietly grabbing a pair of sweats. I changed in the bathroom before deciding that I was too awake to go back to sleep. I’d let the boys keep sleeping and go downstairs to make coffee.
I heard Emma’s door as I started the coffee maker. I spun as she came into the kitchen holding Donnie. Today, he wore a bright orange sweater to keep him from freezing. She put him down and he ran to me, his butt wiggling with excitement.
“Hi,” I crooned, leaning over to pet him. He sat obediently as I rubbed his head.
“Well, well, well,” Emma teased. She’d thrown her hair up into a messy bun and was wearing pajama pants with hearts and a tank top. She crossed her arms and leaned against the fridge. “Look who’s here.”
“Coffee?” I asked, trying not to immediately grin.
“Yes, please. Tell me everything.”
“Don’t tell me you got up at the crack of dawn just to find out how my night went.” I gave Donnie a few more scratches before straightening. He sat patiently, waiting for Emma to pick him back up.
“I have some things going on early today,” she said, her voice carrying a strain that I didn’t hear often from Emma.
I frowned and she shrugged, her smile faltering. “What’s wrong, Emma?” I asked.
“It’s depressing, I don’t want to talk about it. I much rather hear about your evening with Sammy and Colt.”
I studied her and shook my head. “Okay, we’ll circle back to that,” I said.
“ Tell meeee ,” she hissed playfully.
A grin cracked my face as I hit the start button on the coffee pot. I just couldn’t stop smiling after last night.
“I fucking knew it,” she hissed. “Both of them?”
I nodded and grinned wider. “I’ve never done anything like that. Ever .”
“I bet it was good too. They seem like they’d know how to find the clit.”
I burst out laughing and stifled it with my hand. “Oh my god. Yeah, they do. It was really good, Emma. And they’re both… into things.” My cheeks flushed. “I’m glad I can talk to you about this.”
Emma’s face softened. “Me too. I don’t know what I would do without you and Haley.”
I noted the way her eyes teared up and shook my head. “Okay, what’s going on? Talk to me. We can circle back to my suddenly-existent sex life later. For once, let me be there for you.”
“So…” She blew out a breath and pressed her lips together, looking away. “My sister died fifteen years ago today. My dad wanted to do an online memorial of sorts to honor her and I don’t even want to go.”
“Oh my god, Emma,” I whispered.
I reached for her hand and she took it, and then I gave her a hug. I squeezed her tight, holding onto her. I couldn’t imagine how she felt right now.
“It was so long ago,” she sighed. “It still seems like yesterday.”
“I didn’t know,” I said, giving her another squeeze. “I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry.”
“Only Haley knows, and now you,” Emma said. “I just tell people I’m an only child. Makes it easier than having to explain. I’m okay.” She drew back and wiped her eyes. Donnie whined at her.
I couldn’t imagine losing Haley. Well, I had imagined it after Thomas took her, but we’d been lucky that she’d been found. She was a fighter. Every day, I was thankful for that.
I rubbed Emma’s arm. “Go sit. I’ll pour coffee. Do you want any breakfast?”
“Not yet,” she said. “Coffee will do just fine. Distract me? Tell me more about the kinky cowboys.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle, even though I still worried about her. I imagined Haley would be around today, especially since she knew about Emma’s sister too.
I pulled out two mugs and poured us each a cup. I settled in across from her at the table, finding a comfortability in sitting with someone I loved over coffee to talk. For so long, I didn’t have this. I didn’t have friends I could simply sit with. I’d been isolated in my own world, just trying to get through day- to-day tasks and life. Most of the years felt like a heavy fog now, with the brightest stars being my boys and the moments with them.
But that Sarah was gone now. I wasn’t alone and I had people who cared about me. I had people I cared about.
“Have you ever been with anyone that’s… kinky?”
Emma snorted and patted her lap. Donnie jumped and curled up into a small ball, eyes squinting closed. “Hell yeah, I have. One time, I went to Cancun with this guy who was into shibari and he tied me to his bed and left a vibrator tied to me.”
My mouth fell open. “ Oh my god. ”
She smirked over the rim of her mug as she took a sip of coffee. “Yeah. He was hot. Didn’t work out though. He called his ex a slut and laughed about her, and that gave me the ick. I hate guys like that. Anyway, yes, I’ve dated plenty of guys who were into fun things.”
“It’s all so new to me,” I said. “David… I really need to stop talking about him.”
“It’s natural for you to compare everything to your relationship with him,” Emma said. “I mean, you were married for more than a decade, Sarah. That doesn’t disappear overnight.”
“You have a point. Well, I was just going to say that we didn’t have much sex after the boys. Maybe a couple times when he came home drunk. But he was disgusted by me.”
“Fuck him,” she growled. “God, I wish I could kick that man in the nuts wearing my Louboutins. They have a nice sharp tip.”
I couldn’t lie, the thought made me laugh.
“I’m glad they were good. I hope they gave you all the O’s because you deserve a whole decade’s worth.”
“I do,” I said. “And they did.”
“So… are the three of you a thing now?”
I winced. It was a lot to think about and I certainly wanted to take my time given that this was the first relationship I’d been in since David. I’d never called him my high school sweetheart, but in a way, he had been.
It should have been Colt all along. But then, we wouldn’t be the people we were today, and maybe we wouldn’t have Sammy too.
After last night, I felt more confident about exploring a relationship with both of them.
“I want us to be? The three of us are interested in each other. I think Colt has some worries because he’s so close to Sammy’s family. I’m a little worried about how people would react if they knew the three of us were dating.”
Emma sighed and shifted in her seat, letting Donnie down. He reluctantly left us to go sit on a heating vent in the living room. “I would hope they’d mind their damn business.”
I was doubtful. “People already say a lot about me. I just worry about the boys. We live in a small town.”
“Well, they’re wrong. I have to say, there are so many things I love about this little town, but the way you and the boys have been treated pisses me off. If someone says shit to you, you let me know.”
I reached across the table and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “Emma, I am so thankful for you. I don’t say that enough. But you’re the first friend I’ve had in years. You and Haley are too good to me.”
She teared up. “Stop. I’m already a basket case today, you can’t say sweet things to me.”
“Okay, last one. Thank you for giving me a chance,” I said. “I feel like I’m finally becoming myself and that’s partially thanks to you.”
She smiled through the tears. “Thank you.”
I took a sip of coffee and thought about breakfast. “I made some pumpkin bread yesterday. Want a slice? ”
“Well… Between the boys, Cam, Haley, and myself—we devoured the whole loaf yesterday. It was really good.”
I laughed. It pleased me to hear that. “Sam and Colt said I should open my own bakery.”
“You should,” Emma said immediately. “I’d do all the marketing for you. There’s no good bakery in Citrus Cove, just the cafe, and their stuff is good but it's not like… it’s not like what you can bake.”
I thought about it again. The idea of running my own business terrified me, but it also felt exciting. Something new and challenging that would give me a solid foundation. Something I could call my own.
“I don’t know…” I trailed off. “I love baking. It’s the only thing I’m good at.”
“It’s not the only thing you’re good at. But you’re really damn good at it,” Emma said. “I think you should do it.”
“I’d have to figure out when,” I sighed. “And I still have to work at the cafe. I can’t just take off.”
“You should ask for a set schedule,” Emma said. “If only for six months. I’m sure Alice would be down for it. Maybe she’d even be open to carrying your goods at the cafe.”
I frowned, thinking it over. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. “I’ll think about it,” I said.
“Isn’t there a farmer’s market at the end of the month?” Emma asked. “Maybe try there first? I’ll help however I can.”
“You already do so much,” I said.
“So do you.” Emma shrugged. “I don’t have many hobbies here except for yoga, work, and taking Donnie on walks. I like projects, so when I help you, it helps me.”
“Are you still liking Citrus Cove?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “I can’t imagine being anywhere else now. There are things I don’t like about it at all, but being with family makes up for it. ”
Knowing she meant me and Haley made my throat tighten. “I’m glad you’re here. Is there anything I can do before I go to work? Honey will have the boys today, so I’ll drop them off in a bit.”
“No,” she said. “You’ve already done it for me.”
I nodded and watched as she got up, still concerned.
“I really think you should go after the bakery idea if it feels right for you,” Emma said. “I know everyone would love anything you’d make. I think you’d love having the freedom of running your own business. It would be a lot of work, though.”
“It would be a lot of work,” I agreed. “But I already work a lot. And maybe this could help me make some more money. I need to start thinking about building up some savings but have no clue how to even get there.”
“Talk to Alice,” she encouraged. “Everyone has your back.”
That was true. Now my mind was bouncing all over the place with ideas and recipes. There was a bakery in Austin I’d been to a few times over the years—what were their best sellers?
Emma left the kitchen and I was alone to think. I checked my phone and smiled. Colt had created a text chat between the three of us. I wondered if the two of them were still in bed.
Sammy : Get home safe?
Me : Yes! Thank you :)
Colt : Want to do dinner Wednesday night?
Me : I have the boys that night
Sammy : that’s fine, I’ll cook for all of us
I hesitated for a moment. It would probably be good for the boys to get to know them more though, right? Not that I needed the approval of two eleven-year-olds, but I kind of did.
Me : sure! That would be great
I couldn’t believe this was my life.
Knock, knock, knock.
I lifted my head and got up, heading to the front door. This early in the morning, it was probably a package delivery. I unlocked it and opened the door, my heart dropping.
“Hi, Sarah.”
My ex-husband stood on the porch.
“David.” My breath whooshed out as if I’d been punched in the gut, my body completely deflating. My heart hammered as he took a step closer.
All of the therapy I’d gone through had prepared me for this moment, but every tool went out the window. I felt trapped again, just standing there. I needed to tell him to leave, but I couldn’t find my voice. Why couldn’t I speak? Why couldn’t I slam the door? I couldn’t even move a muscle.
“Been trying to find out where you live for a while,” he said. “You took my children from me. Who bought this house, huh? Sure as fuck wasn’t you, you stupid whore.”
Donnie rushed down the stairs, barking like a maniac. He shot between my legs, nipping at David. He took a step back with a startled curse.
“ Oh, what the fuck?! ” Emma’s shout came from behind me and I felt her hand on my arm, pulling me back. “Get the fuck off our porch, you son of a bitch! Sarah, call the cops.”
I was still frozen. His eyes met mine, sending a bolt of fear through me. He didn’t say anything, but I felt his hatred. I felt his disgust. I felt useless again.
Emma snapped her fingers and she grabbed Donnie, who was still barking non-stop. “Call the cops, Sarah. For the boys.”
Her words cracked through the shock. I took a breath and pulled out my phone, calling 911. David gave Emma a dark glare before stepping off the porch, heading for his car. It was one I hadn’t seen before.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Emma yelled. “If I ever see you again, I’m gonna crush your balls, motherfucker!”
The operator answered and my words rushed out finally, although shaky. “We need police at 129 Hummingbird Lane. My ex-husband showed up and I have a restraining order on him.”
“Are you in any danger?”
“No. He’s leaving now,” I said, watching as he sped off down the street. A few of our neighbors emerged onto their porches, watching everything unfold.
“We’ll send someone over,” they said.
“Mom?”
I whipped around, seeing Davy at the top of the steps.
Fuck. “Go back to bed,” I told him. “Everything is okay.”
“Everything is not okay,” he snapped, taking off for his room. I heard the door slam and fought back the tears.
I got off the phone and put my hands on my head, trying to breathe. Emma shook her head, her gaze full of fire.
“That son of a bitch,” she said. “Are you okay, Sarah? Come sit. The boys will be fine, okay? It’s all okay. God, what a fucking psychopath.”
“I just want one week without something happening,” I whispered.
She gave me a sorry look. “I know.”
“Don’t call everyone,” I said. “Not yet. I need to talk to the officers first and probably call my lawyer. I’m so sorry, Emma. I don’t know how he got this address.”
“People talk,” Emma said. “I’m so sorry.”
“I froze up,” I whispered, tears springing now. “I failed. Again.”
“You didn’t fail,” she said. She grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me. “He hurt you. For years. You were trapped with him. For years. And today, you didn’t break. You didn’t crumple. You are strong, Sarah. It takes someone strong to make it out of a situation like that.”
“I don’t feel strong. ”
“You are,” she said.
I swallowed hard and wiped my eyes as I spotted a police car pulling up.
Deep breath. Pull yourself together. I had to, for the sake of the boys, Emma, and even myself.
The message David had sent was pretty clear.
He was back.
And he hated me now more than ever before.