38. Sarah
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
sarah
My routine was back to normal, but I still didn’t feel right.
The concussion had left me with a few headaches, but overall, I was fine. I’d taken a few days off, which meant I’d been in bed torturing myself over the decision I’d made to break up with Colt and Sammy.
Most of the cuts from the broken windshield were healing, but the cuts on my heart weren’t.
Haley’s words about David haunted me. I’d ended up calling Brenda to talk to her about it all and she’d been able to help me sort through some of my feelings.
I’d let fear get in the way of my happiness. After talking to Brenda, I was starting to realize just how much I was sabotaging myself. I ended up devouring a few books on polyamory, relationships, and being a parent because I also felt like I was failing in that area too.
Apparently all of that was normal. I wasn’t broken, or helpless, or useless. I was healing from the past while fighting for a future I deserved.
I wanted to talk to Sammy and Colt again.
The other thing I’d realized this week was how much I loved them both.
I wasn't sure who I realized I loved first.
Maybe it was the day Colt crashed my wedding.
Maybe it was the night Sammy took me to the drive-through.
Maybe it was when the two of them held me tight and showed me that I was beautiful and deserving of romance.
Either way, somewhere in the last few weeks, I’d fallen in love with them so hard that it scared me.
Now that I'd given myself the time to think and the time to process what I wanted and needed in my life, I was able to take that soul-rattling fear and turn it into something else.
Hope.
I had hope for the future. Hope that everything would turn out okay. I still didn’t know who had attacked me in the parking lot or who was after me. I didn't know where my ex-husband was or if he was even alive. But I had hope that I would make it through the storm and onto the other side. I just knew I had a happy ending waiting for me.
One that was happy for all of us.
I wasn’t sure they’d take me back, though. I had no idea what the outcome would be or if they could forgive me for breaking up with them. They’d been scared too, and I’d withdrawn instead of being there for them.
Chatter echoed through the cafe and I blinked, coming to the present. Autopilot was fully on right now while I worked. I exchanged pleasantries with folks, carefully navigating the occasional nosy question, and took food to tables—all while thinking about my life.
What did I want in the future?
It was easy to dream. It was harder to make those dreams reality, but I wanted to put in the work to try.
“How are you feeling, Sarah?”
One of the tables I was serving was a booth of three old men. One of them was Mr. Johnson, who saw Honey regularly. He made her happy and was funny and sweet. I rarely saw him, but when I did, I always found myself smiling.
“I’m better,” I said. “Everything has been a little wild.”
“I’ve been trying to find that son of a bitch,” one of the older men grumbled. “Keeping an eye out.”
Everyone in Citrus Cove had heard about me being attacked. I hated the attention and longed for the day that I didn’t have to deal with the chaos. I still gave him a grateful smile.
“I appreciate it. Y’all let me know if you need anything, okay? Mr. Johnson, if you happen to be going by Honey’s today, let me know. I’ll send some goods with you.”
He grinned. “You know how to help a man out. I think I’ll swing by after this.”
“Perfect.” I headed to the back of the cafe and spotted Alice walking in the back door.
She glanced up at me and smiled. “How’s it going?”
“Good today,” I said. “I think it’s busier with the cold weather coming in this weekend.”
Everyone was a little anxious about it. If the weather predictions were right, we could end up with ice and snow for a few days, which was apocalyptic with our infrastructure. Emma had already stocked the house with battery lamps, heaters, and food we could eat if the power went out. I’d also noticed that Cam had dropped off firewood and other supplies. I suspected it was actually from Colt and Sammy, but I hadn’t argued with him about it.
“Yeah, yeah,” Alice sighed, shaking her head. “You know, when I lived in New York, this was never an issue. We could get several feet of snow and no one would bat an eye. Down here, it’s the end of the world.”
“True,” I said. “We’re built for heat, not the cold.”
She chuckled. “Oh, before you run off. I meant to tell you that Colt got the muffins to me and they were fantastic. You can sell them here. Just let me know what you want to do.”
My eyes widened. I stared at her for a moment, freezing in place. “You really mean it?”
“Yep. I think they would do great. If there’s anything I can do to support you, Sarah, I’m here.”
Tears filled my eyes and I stepped closer, giving her a hug. “You’re too kind to me.”
She squeezed me tight and then released me. “I honestly hope one day you stop working for me so we can actually be friends. I still have to be your boss right now and that sucks.”
I laughed. “I hope so. I mean, I love this place. I don’t want you to think I don’t?—”
“Believe me, I’m aware,” she snorted. Her eyes darted past me and she raised a brow. “About damn time. I was wondering where they’ve been.”
I turned around and sucked in a breath. Nothing could have prepared me for the way I felt when I saw Sammy’s car pull into the cafe parking lot. I stared out the window, my heart pounding as he got out. He wore a bulky jacket over dark jeans and boots, his dark hair damp.
Now, all I could think about was Sammy in the shower. Colt in the shower. Me in the shower with both of them.
My cheeks turned red. The door opened, a cool blast freezing the air as he stepped inside.
He had his laptop bag with him, I realized.
Alice crossed her arms. “Why do you look like you’re seeing a ghost? ”
“We… It’s complicated.”
“Mmhmm. Okay then. Well, let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Alice.”
Trey rang the bell from the kitchen and I sighed, shifting back into work mode. I loaded the plates onto a tray and dropped them at one of the tables while actively avoiding Sammy’s searing gaze as he took one of the booths.
My phone started to ring in my pocket, but I ignored the buzz.
“How does everything look?” I asked the table. I received nods and sounds of approval. “Perfect. Enjoy your meal.”
Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, don’t look at him. My feet had a mind of their own. I approached his booth, finally meeting his eyes.
My phone started to ring again. I ignored it, tension creeping up my spine.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered.
“Getting food,” Sammy said. He swallowed hard, his eyes softening. “Sarah, I?—”
“You’re a chef,” I said, raising a brow. “You couldn’t cook for yourself?”
He snorted, offering me a lopsided smile. “Rather eat here and keep an eye on you.”
My heart skipped a beat. I’d missed seeing him in this booth. I’d missed seeing him, period. “Are you sure you want to? I don't want to waste your time.”
“We’ve literally been sitting across the street keeping an eye on the cafe every day this week. I decided to finally come inside.”
My mouth fell open. “Really? ”
“Really.”
“You’ve been stalking me, then,” I said, unable to keep the tease out of my voice.
He raised a brow. “Is it stalking or protecting?”
The phone started to buzz in my pocket again and I sighed, pulling it out. The school’s phone number flashed across the screen and I winced, answering it.
“Hello, this is Sarah,” I said.
“Hi Sarah, this is Agatha.”
Great. Just fucking great.
“I’m at work. What’s going on?” I asked.
Sammy scowled. “Who is it?”
School, I mouthed.
“The boys got into a fight. We need you to pick them up.”
I closed my eyes, trying to find a shred of patience, will power, resolve— something . “I can’t pick them up right now.”
“Can someone pick them up? They’re being suspended.”
“ Suspended ?”
“I can pick them up,” Sammy said immediately.
“I don’t want to burden you,” I said quickly, but he was already standing up.
“Sorry, Sarah. We need someone to pick them up and if it can be you, we can try and straighten things out with David and Jake?—”
“His name is Davy. How many times have I told you, Agatha?”
Sammy made a face. “I’ve got them, Sarah. I’ll go pick them up and I can take them to Honey’s.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Okay. I have Sammy Harlow coming to pick the boys up. We’ll have to schedule a meeting next week. I can’t do this right now.”
“Alright, sweetie. I’ll send you an email.”
“Okay. Bye.” I hung up rather abruptly, shaking my head. “I don’t know why they would suspend Davy and Jake unless it was really bad. And that doesn’t sound like them. I know there’s been a lot happening, but they’re good boys.”
“Cam and I got into some pretty gnarly fights when we were younger,” Sammy said.
“Well, I hope they didn’t fight each other. I raised them not to… Would you mind taking them to my house? I’ll be off in a couple hours.”
“No problem. I’ll stay with them until you get home.”
I swallowed hard, studying him. My cheeks heated under his gaze. “Are you sure? I can call?—”
“I’m sure. I’ll text you when we get there.”
“Thank you.”
I wanted to kiss him right now so damn bad. Instead, I watched him leave.