Chapter 2
Friday
Imake my way through the bustling crowd in the airport to the arrivals screen and scan it to see my sister’s flight from Honolulu has landed. Directly underneath, a flight from Heathrow is listed, instantly filling my stomach with dread.
It was the flight that changed everything.
I close my eyes to suppress memories of the fallout from the leaked video of me and Alexander kissing.
His publicist, Connie, making me sign the NDA to never discuss our relationship.
The money that appeared in my bank account to pay me off for that silence.
My whole world falling apart, while Alexander’s seemed to keep going from strength to strength. And he's been inescapable.
His music is continually played on the radio.
His face is plastered all over the magazines and billboards across LA.
His movie is underway in New Mexico.
I barely leave my room on the days that work and the gym don’t force me out of it. Andrew has grown concerned that I no longer join him and his latest boyfriend, Liam, on the couch to watch TV.
Their relationship is too painful a reminder of what I’ve lost.
But I can’t tell him the reason why.
Nor the fact that there’s a hundred thousand dollars sitting in my bank account.
Or that since Alexander’s TV interview back in June, he has repeatedly tried to call me. Each time I see his name appear on my phone, it slices my heart back open, leaving me in a state of analysis paralysis and preventing me from being able to move forward and heal.
If the last two months have taught me anything, it’s that we are all entitled to our secrets. But that doesn’t mean Alexander has the right to treat me the way he did and then expect me to come running back because he changed his mind.
Maybe a taste of his own medicine will do him good.
I squeeze tightly on one of the stress balls in my pocket.
My therapist gave me one two months ago to deal with all the stress and they have become lifesavers.
I shake my head of the thought of Alexander, and then I see Kelly entering the arrival hall, followed by her husband, Daniel. She comes running toward me.
“It’s so good to see you!” Kelly says. Her vice-like grip around my neck quickly starts squeezing the life out of me. Daniel gives us a moment of space while the other passengers push their luggage trolleys past him.
I could have done with them going on their honeymoon to Hawaii two months ago, when all this shit was going down, but with Kelly’s teaching and their house move they couldn’t get away till the tail end of the summer. But at least they’re here now.
“I see you’re twinning at life,” I say, pulling myself from Kelly’s grip to give Daniel a hug. His Hawaiian shirt, white vest, and linen shorts match the ones Kelly is wearing.
“Don’t.” Daniel shoots me a can-you-believe-her look, forcing the corner of my mouth to rise while we make our way from Terminal B to my car in the carpark across the street.
“Watch out, Chris!” Kelly pulls the hood of my hoodie back when a car ignores the zebra crossing and drives straight through, almost clipping my leg. “What a douchebag!” She yells at the car, which is already long gone, swerving in and out of the almost gridlocked traffic lanes.
“You sure you don’t need a hand?” I ask.
Daniel’s face is red as he pushes the luggage trolley up the ramp into the parking lot. No doubt Kelly packed everything including the kitchen sink for their honeymoon.
“I’m good.” He waves off my help, just like he’s always done, and immediately wipes the sweat dripping from his brow.
Straight men and their pride.
My black Jeep wrangler looks almost brand-new and not like the lease is up for renewal, especially after the quick car wash pitstop I made at lunch.
Inside, though, it’s still a mess, just like me.
I quickly remove the empty bottles and remnants of my lunch strewn across the front car seat before moving my gym bag and work gear from the trunk into the back seat.
I step aside to let Daniel load their bags.
“You need a hand, hun?” Kelly offers, her hand already on the passenger car door.
“You’re good, babe,” Daniel says, struggling under the weight of the suitcases.
It’s nice to see chivalry isn’t dead, but he’s probably ensuring Kelly doesn’t do anything to overexert herself now that she’s pregnant. Though from the look of her, you’d barely be able to tell she’s seventeen weeks along.
I grab the final suitcase from the trolley and lift it into the trunk with relative ease, surprising myself with at my own strength in the process. Clearly the gym has become more than just a distraction from Alexander and all my workouts are finally paying off.
“Someone’s gotten buff since I last saw him.” Daniel squeezes my bicep.
“And someone’s fallen off the gym wagon and eaten all the wheels.” I pat Daniel’s stomach. He’s no longer the owner of an enviable ripped physique, but has a dad bod instead.
“Moral support.” He thumbs back at Kelly.
“Fuck off,” Kelly shouts, holding the car door wide open. “You’ve been eating like you’re preparing for a Man vs. Food competition all honeymoon.” She shakes her head as she slams the door shut.
Daniel bites his lip—smart move—and returns the luggage trolley before we both enter the car. He’s probably wary of Kelly’s moods, which are no doubt fluctuating even more with the pregnancy hormones coursing through her body.
I catch the cutest little bump, barely visible to the naked eye, when I strap myself in and start the engine. Warmth rises inside my heart when I think about how there’s a little Foster family member growing inside of her, countered with a pang of envy in my stomach.
Becoming a father is all but an illusion for me right now.
“Have you had any cravings?” I ask as I pull out of the car park.
“Anything pickled. Pickled cucumbers. Pickled onions. Pickled monster munch.”
I catch Daniel’s eyeroll in the rearview mirror, making me snort. The sound causes Kelly to jump as she turns on the radio. No doubt he’s had to do several late-night runs to the supermarket or the fish and chip shop.
And next up, we have Alexander Morgan with the hit of the summer, Stolen Moments, which has racked up nine straight weeks at number one. Rumor has it that he’ll be opening MTV’s VMA Awards with this track and My Anchor.
My grip tightens on the steering wheel and my foot hits the accelerator, speeding us through the amber light. Veins emerge on the backs of both hands.
Can I not catch a break from Alexander even when I’m with my sister?
I’ve tried listening to different radio stations: My FM, KOST FM, even the Sirius channels, but all of them have been playing Alexander’s tracks. Even the dance stations on Sirus have a Stolen Moments remix in heavy rotation.
“What’s going on with you and that Alexander guy?” Daniel pulls at the seatbelt strap as he leans forward. My spine instantly stiffens at the mention of the name.
“What did I tell you?” Kelly reaches round and whacks Daniel’s leg.
“It’s okay,” I say, trying to relax my shoulders.
“To be honest, it’s good to be able to talk about it to someone.
No one here has any idea about what happened.
Which isn’t a bad thing when I’m trying to avoid thinking about it.
But I’ve even had to speak in code to my therapist, and that makes it harder, not easier, because if I can’t be frank with her then what’s the point in even doing therapy? ”
Kelly’s warm hand reaches for mine on the steering wheel, patting it gently.
“Let’s get back to yours and we can pick it up there.” She reaches over to change the radio station and cranks up the volume when I knew You Were Trouble, by Taylor Swift, her favorite artist, comes on. It blasts out of the speakers as I turn onto the 405 freeway.
A groan comes from the back of the car as Daniel places his fingers in his ears.
My sentiments exactly.
I go to change the channel, but Kelly bats my hand away.
Haven’t I been tortured enough already these last two months? Does she have to make me suffer even more by making me listen to Taylor Swift?
“Where’s your housemate?” Daniel asks, bringing up the last of the suitcases. He places them underneath a Bartus painting, an open heart made up of hundreds of miniature people, hanging next to the dining table.
“Andrew’s staying at his partner’s place for the weekend. That way you can have his room and won’t have to sleep on the couch like last time.” I close the front door and sling my keys into the bowl on the side table next to the toilet door.
In fact, I’ve barely seen Andrew this last month, what with me mainly staying in my room and him spending most of his time at Liam’s place.
His tendency to fall fast and hard for whatever guy he’s dating shows no sign of abating with this new squeeze.
Which, note to self, means I’ll need to stock up at some point on ice cream and alcohol for when they invariably break up, his abandonment issues kick in, and I’m left to pick up the pieces.
“That’s super kind of him,” Kelly says as she returns from the kitchen with the bottles of beer I bought for them.
“Don’t panic. This one’s zero percent alcohol.
” Her tone is firm as she waves the bottle in her right hand at Daniel, while handing the two in her left over to us.
Daniel’s protective nature is endearing, yet no doubt smothering for a free spirit like my sister.
“Right.” Daniel grabs my shoulder with his hand. “I want to hear all about this Alexander guy and what’s going on with you.”
My chest tightens and my heart rate soars once more at the sound of his name.
Will I ever not have such a visceral response to it?
“These past two months have been hard.” I take a swig of beer and follow Kelly and Daniel over to the couch. The beer’s coolness pushes down the bile rising in my throat.