Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Heidi
G etting a surprise visit from Jason was the best thing to happen to Heidi for a hell of a long time but that was soon surpassed when she put her key in her front door, opened it, to be hit by delicious smells.
Her stomach agreed and growled its approval.
Jason was already in her kitchen cooking her dinner. It was the sexiest thing in the world.
She hung up her keys, coat and bag and then kicked off her clogs, flexing her toes to rid the ache of being on her feet all day with house visits. They were all in the town centre so she’d walked to all the houses.
Walking through her living room and then into the kitchen she then sighed at the sight of Jason’s broad back shifting from side to side and he mixed something in a bowl. A bowl that wasn’t hers. The radio was on but a low volume so he turned when she stepped down into the galley kitchen.
When he turned he gave her a sexy smile and took a long look at her. She wanted to shower to wash off her day, but he was looking like he wanted to eat her.
“Hey,” she said taking another step towards him.
“Hey,” he replied and dropped a kiss on her lips. “I hope you don’t mind, Freya let me in when she got home.”
“If the smells coming from this tiny kitchen are anything to go by, I don’t mind at all. Have I got time for a shower?”
“Yeah, dinner will be ready in about half an hour.”
“I’ll only need fifteen,” she said and hurried away before she put the bowl aside and jumped into his arms.
He gave her a smirk before she left. Had he read her expression or worse still her mind?
Wasting no time, she showered and changed, putting her hair up in a messy bun that was loose enough to dry but neat enough not look like she’d just woken up. Not wanting to make any presumption she dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with sensible underwear.
If he got as far as seeing her panties she hoped he didn’t care that they weren’t fancy.
Walking back into the kitchen, she rested her shoulder against the door frame and watched him work. Jason looked very comfortable in her kitchen and she liked it.
A lot.
Finding out that he hadn’t dumped her all those years ago was great news. The fact that he didn’t fight for her had been on her mind for the last couple of days. She didn’t want to confront him because she was afraid of the answer. During her afternoon break, she’d casually quizzed one of the other nurses who specialised in suppressed memories to see if there was any way she could dredge up the reason Keith had given her for Jason not wanting to see her again.
Her eyes lit up when he brought out a casserole dish from the oven with bubbling sauce. She spied onions and sausages and her belly growled again. Jason gave her a side glance and grinned.
“Hungry?”
“Starving. I’ve walked for miles today.”
“How are all your mums?”
She loved that he cared about her day.
“They’re good, the dads not so much. So many of them are freaking out. I’ve told them not to read the books but will they listen to me?”
“If it were me, I’d read every book I could get my hands on.”
“Seriously? You wouldn’t pace yourself?”
“Nope, I’d want to be prepared for all eventualities.”
Her head dropped thinking about the worse possible eventualities. A warm hand cupped her cheek, and she raised her head to look at him.
“I’m sorry, that was careless of me.”
She melted on the spot for his consideration. Placing her hand over his, she curled her fingers over the side of his hand and squeezed.
“That’s okay. Thank you.”
“Let’s eat,” he said. “I’ve laid the table and the mash and veg are in pots on the table ready.”
“Shall I bring the gravy?” she asked nodding to the gravy boat that wasn’t hers.
“Please, that would be great.”
She curled her fingers through the handle of a gravy boat with pretty flowers wondering if it was from the Turner crockery stash. Terrified she might drop it and then get a visit from Cynthia Turner she held it with both hands and walked very slowly to her dining room. It was a cold room she barely used. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get the chill out of the air. Not that it mattered too much as she rarely had people over to dinner. Heidi preferred to go to her friend’s houses instead.
“I think this might have been a coal shed aeons ago,” Heidi said. “I’m sorry it’s so cold in here.”
“It’s not so bad. I’ve spent a lot time in the North Sea. Coldest place I’ve ever been.”
Jason lit candles that weren’t hers, turned off the overhead light and switched on the side lamp on the dresser. Instantly the mood of the room changed, and it felt warmer even if it wasn’t. Jason sat on the chair next to her rather than opposite and pressed his thigh to hers. She instantly felt warmer.
“Thanks for making dinner,” she said.
“It’s just bangers and mash,” he replied passing her the dish of green beans and carrots.
“My mouth is watering at the smells. This is no ordinary bangers and mash. My mouth has never watered when food has been served.”
“I hope you like it then,” he said.
She took a bite and groaned. It was heaven on a plate.
“You’re going to have stop those noises or we won’t make it through dinner,” Jason said gazing at her.
She could feel the heat of his stare but it was him shifting in his seat so he was flush with his leg right down to her ankle.
“How about I eat really quickly?”
“Sounds like a plan. I know just the thing to work it off.”
No sooner had she cleared her plate, Jason had lifted her off her seat and onto his lap wrapping his arms around her back. He captured her lips and kissed her. This kiss was different from the rest. It felt like a branding and a promise rolled into one. He didn’t let up between deep hard kisses and then light presses to her neck.
“Can I stay?” he whispered into her ear.
“Yeah,” she whispered back.
They left the dishes and switched off the lights as they climbed the stairs to her bedroom.
After he rocked her world twice she snuggled into his side with her leg thrown over both of his. She had never slept with a man in her bed and it was terrifying and everything she wanted in the world. The thoughts plagued her of why he accepted a message through her brother that she never wanted to see him again.
She was falling for him again, or was it still? But opening her heart again to trust him was going to be more difficult because she couldn’t truly enjoy what they were starting up until she knew.
She fell asleep worrying, and it was still there when her alarm scared her into wakefulness. She was still in the same position with Jason’s arms wrapped around her.
“Morning,” he said.
“Morning,” she replied with a croaky voice.
“You mumble in your sleep.”
She froze hoping she hadn’t blurted out she didn’t trust him. “Do I? What did I say?”
“Just one word. Why. You kept mumbling words but the word why was repeated.”
“Oh.”
“Do you know why you were mumbling the word why?”
Jason was using his no nonsense voice and seemed more awake than she was. When she tilted her head up, she could see he was fresh as a daisy, eyes on her waiting for an answer.
“There’s been something on my mind for a few days. It must be coming out in my sleep.”
“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”
Heidi moved to lie on her side of the bed but Jason tightened his arms so she couldn’t move away.
“Let me sit up,” Heidi said.
Jason let her go. She took enough of the blankets to cover her body and sit cross-legged facing him.
“Promise you won’t get angry if I tell you?”
Jason sat up straighter, eyes narrowing, jaw set. He already looked grumpy, and she wondered if she could switch her question but she couldn’t think of another question.
“I’m not promising anything, sweetheart. I have a hundred things going around my head that might make me angry.”
“Okay, well, here goes. I’m muttering why, because I need to know why you didn’t fight for me. Why didn’t you come and see me rather than take my brother’s word for it. Didn’t you want to face me and let me tell you directly I didn’t want to see you anymore?”
Jason’s face went blank. He threw back the covers and walked out of the room. Heidi didn’t have time to admire his naked backside because her vision blurred. The first time he rocked her world the previous night was on her stairs. He came back into her bedroom wearing just his jeans, his bare chest a thing to be admired if his face wasn’t murderous.
“Your brother was clear with his message. You didn’t want anything to do with a Turner and I wasn’t welcome anywhere near you, or him. He cut me off from our friendship. He was my best fucking friend, and he cut me out like I never existed. I then had to do my initiation on the rigs for three months without a break. The message came through on my way to Scotland. What the fuck did you expect me to do?”
“I don’t know because I was heartbroken thinking you never meant what you said to me over the summer. I can’t remember what Keith said and its driving me mad. He gave me a reason I believed at the time but I remember hoping it wasn’t true and you’d come back to the island and tell me you’d changed your mind.”
Heidi was crying through her words, her head bowed as she tried to control her sobbing.
“Your brother has a lot to answer for,” Jason barked as he snatched up his t-shirt from the floor and yanked it over his head.
“Don’t blame my brother,” Heidi shouted back.
“Well who the fuck else should I blame?”
“I don’t know,” she said letting her head fall into her hands.
“I’ve gotta go. There’s an early delivery at Edward Hall I need to check on for the wedding.”
He walked out of her bedroom, ran down her stairs and a moment later the front door slammed. It made her jump, and she fell to the side and bawled into her pillow. When she took a deep breath in, she could smell his aftershave and it made her cry harder.
Heidi regretted asking the question after such a perfect night but she needed to know. His answer was plausible but he could’ve come back to the island on his first leave. She was fool enough at the time that she’d wait forever for him.
Turned out forever was too long.