Chapter 24 Christopher #2
“Oh hi,” I say, turning to face him. I rub my hands together, still coming to terms with the fact that he is really standing in front of me.
He hasn’t aged a day since I last saw him, nearly three and a half years ago. He still has the same blond hair, green-eyed look, and his tall toned frame is complemented by a white T-shirt, stonewash jeans, and the familiar Tom Ford scent he always wears.
“Didn’t expect to see you here tonight. Who you here with?”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but Stephen convinced me to come here. You here with Marcus?” It’s a veiled dig at the guy he moved on with after I broke up with him.
“Err, can you move?”
A rude effeminate twink pushes me back into the sink, trying to get past us and to one of the urinals.
I start to reach for the back of the guy’s shirt but think better of it, clenching my fist instead.
“Wanna wait for me upstairs? It’d be good to catch up properly.” Ryan grabs my shoulder, his touch sending a bolt of electricity around my body.
I want to say we’re heading elsewhere, but I know I won’t be able to drag Stephen away from the dance floor. So I’m stuck here.
“Sure,” I say, unclenching my fists. “I’ll wait outside in the smoking section.”
A couple of minutes later, Ryan steps outside to join me. I hold onto the golden pole that ropes off a space on the pavement for smokers and vapers to congregate.
“You’re looking good.” Ryan touches my arm as he steps toward me.
I’m not sure if it’s the cool air outside or his touch, but another surge of electricity charges through my body.
“Thanks, so do you,” I say, instantly regretting my words.
“So. How’s LA?” He tilts his head sideways, widening his eyes.
I remember when I used to get lost in those eyes of his, before my dad’s death forced me to take off my rose-tinted glasses and see Ryan for the man he was.
“It’s great. The weather’s perfect. Work is going amazing, and I can’t wait to get back.” My truth-adjacent nature is kicking in, but I’m not going to disclose my issues to Ryan, of all people.
“Don’t you miss London?” His eyes narrow as he waves the smoke away from the person vaping next to us.
I wonder if he means London, or more specifically us.
“Sometimes. Especially the food. But also not really. So much has changed since I was here last.”
“But some things don’t,” he says, leaning forward to kiss me.
I don’t know whether it’s actual shock or the alcohol, but I surprise myself when I don’t instantly pull away. I am momentarily frozen before I not only remember that I am in a relationship, but all the reasons that I ended it with Ryan.
His control.
His persuasive nature.
His ability to make me feel like I was the one to blame for all our problems.
“There you are,” Stephen exclaims, as I pull back from Ryan. “Oh my God, I’m not interrupting anything between you two old flames, am I?” Stephen’s brows rise as he pulls a vape from his pocket and takes a draw.
“Well…” Ryan begins before I interject.
“Not at all.” I pull Stephen in, but wave his vape away when he offers me a drag.
Stephen may be on the wrong side of tipsy, but I’d take that over being left alone with Ryan. Right now, I feel unable to trust my body to comply with my rational brain.
“I heard you and Marcus broke up,” Stephen says, taking another draw of his vape and tilting his head upward to blow the smoke up.
Stephen has never been one for subtlety.
“Yeah, a couple of weeks back. It wasn’t working out.” Ryan’s gaze darts from Stephen to me.
“Hear that, Chris, he’s single too.” Stephen chides me with his elbow.
Maybe I’d actually be better off without Stephen here after all.
I rub my hand across my chest to calm the flicker of irritation inside.
“I’m actually in a relationship,” I say, removing my grip from the golden pole and standing upright. Almost as tall as Ryan.
“Since when?” Stephen scratches his jaw, cutting me a look of disbelief.
“Since yesterday.”
“Well, I think you should ditch whoever that guy is and get back together with Ryan.” Stephen winks at Ryan and grabs his bulging bicep.
I want to high-five Stephen, around the face, with a chair. But the police car driving down the road puts an immediate stop to that thought. It’s replaced by another.
How fucking dare you say that?
Stephen knows what Ryan put me through when we were together. And Ryan is the last person I would ever go back to. Even if Earth’s survival depended on it.
The way Stephen’s hand lingers on Ryan’s bicep a couple of seconds longer than one would expect instantly adds fuel to my anger. Stephen has always had a crush on Ryan.
“Wait, is that Gaga?” Stephen drops his grip when the bar door opens and Bad Romance leaks out.
Before I have a chance to blink, Stephen has turned and hot-footed it back into the bar without as much as a goodbye, leaving me alone once more with Ryan.
Great.
“How long are you in town for?”
“I leave Sunday.”
“That’s a shame, it would have been nice to catch up properly,” he says, stepping forward.
“Gotta go back for work,” I say, retreating and almost knocking the pole over.
“Maybe we should have a J?gerbomb for old times’ sake.” Ryan lifts a brow.
Nothing good ever comes from a J?gerbomb.
“Who are you here with?” I ask, pivoting the conversation.
“Oh, just my sister. She’s having a whale of a time with a bunch of gays on the dance floor.” He shakes his head at the thought.
Claire always was the life and soul of his family.
It was part of the reason I stayed with Ryan for so long, despite him not being any good for me.
“Come on,” he says, grabbing my hand and sliding his fingers through mine. “Just one.”
His hand feels like an old familiar glove. Comforting. Warm.
The squeeze activates a bunch of good memories that I wish I didn’t remember.
The surprise birthday party for my twenty-first that he organized with Kelly.
The romantic trip to Paris that he took me on after he’d gone there for work.
But it was just a handful of good moments, and that doesn’t make him right for me. My therapist had once told me, Toxic people are bad people with good moments. Flawed people are good people with bad moments.
And Ryan was definitely toxic, at least for me.
My phone makes a muffled sound in my pocket, and I instantly let go of Ryan’s hand, grateful for the distraction. My heart lift when I see Skater Boy appear on the screen.
“Hi,” I answer, taking a step away from Ryan.
“What are you up to?
“I’m in Soho, catching up with an old friend.”
He doesn’t need to know the truth.
“Great! We’re just arriving at a club in Soho to celebrate my number one. You should come.”
“Which club?” I put my finger to my ear to block out the sound of a bunch of women drunkenly screaming as they exit the bar opposite.
Alexander’s silence gives me a second to look back at Ryan, disappointment etched across his face. It’s a complete contrast to the relief I’m feeling inside.
“The Box,” Alexander says.
A few blocks away. Perfect.
“Great, I’ll be there in five.” I hang up and slide my phone back into my pocket.
“That the boyfriend you were talking about?” He nods at my pocket.
I pause for a beat.
I could tell him the truth, but then he might follow me.
Best to be truth-adjacent.
“No, Daniel. His best man has taken him out for one last night of freedom before Kelly ties him down.”
It’s true, just as it’s true that I won’t be joining them. I’ll be joining Alexander instead.
“Ah yes, the wedding. Please pass on my congratulations to them both. I miss them.”
“They miss you too.”
Ugh. God dammit.
Why must my mouth answer before my brain has a chance to think?
“Do you miss me?” Ryan steps closer to me, his hand reaching out to grab mine.
“I can’t Ryan, I can’t.” I bat his hand away, turn on my heel, and flee down Frith Street.
“Oh my God!” Carla says.
Alexander’s mum’s face is a mix of disbelief and disgust as the woman on the stage shoots a ping pong ball out of her vagina and into the crowd.
The Box is crammed to the rafters. Our VIP booth is halfway up on the left, and is packed with Alexander’s parents, Alexander, his makeup artist Erica, Rob, and two people I didn’t immediately know, but then instantly recognized when she introduced herself as Abbie McCarthy the radio presenter.
She’s there along with her partner, Adam, who’s been filling me in on the latest Formula One standings.
“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” Abbie says, leaning over to Carla and handing Alex an apple juice before pouring herself another drink.
“What do you mean?” Carla asks, shaking her head.
“It’s all shits and giggles, love. Until someone giggles and shits.”
And as if on cue, the woman turns around, lifts up her skirt, and proceeds to defecate right on the stage.
Alexander spits out his drink, spattering it across the women at the table in front of him.
The women turn round in disgust until they see Alexander hold his hands up to apologize, and they start giggling. They reach into their ice bucket and start throwing chunks at him.
“What the actual fuck!” He grabs my thigh and rolls his head back in a fit of laughter.
“I knew you’d love this place,” Abbie says, lifting her drink in the air and taking a sip.
“It’s fucking crazy.” He shakes his head at the woman on stage as she lifts herself back upright.
“Don’t go getting any funny ideas,” Carla says, waving her finger at her husband.
“Not your cuppa tequila?” Abbie says, smirking, as Carla makes a puke face.
I can’t even begin to imagine bringing my parents to the Box, yet Alexander doesn’t seem to mind.
“I think we better call it a night,” Carla says. She brushes down her shorts and stands up, motioning for Bruce to do the same.
Erica coughs to get Alexander’s attention, and looks down at my leg. His hand is still resting there and he quickly removes it.
“Dialect coach…” Erica leans over to whisper in my ear.
My back stiffens against the red leather.
Maybe she’s seen this before. Maybe she knows.
I thought only his parents, Rob, Paul, Connie, and Lucy knew?
“I think your makeup artist knows,” I say, whispering in Alexander’s ear.
“She’s one of us. It’s okay.” He takes another sip of his drink.
“A man?” I turn my head back to Erica. Could have fooled me.
“No silly. Gay.” He shakes his head as he laughs and puts his drink down.
By my count, that now makes nine people who know about us. His parents, manager, publicist, assistant, Rob, Kelly, Daniel, and now Erica.
“You coming?” Carla asks, looking down at Alexander and me.
I nod, and Alexander and Erica agree too. I’m so beat that I could do with heading back to the hotel. But before I stand up, Erica pulls at my arm.
“We should probably hang back five minutes, then grab a taxi.”
She’s probably right.
There were hordes of paparazzi lining the tight alleyway when I arrived, and the last thing I need to do is cause any more issues for Alexander or give Paul another reason to hate me.
“I’ll see you back at the hotel,” I say, standing up to give Alexander a hug. Rob also stands and helps escort him and his parents through the crowd.
My gaze follows him down the stairs as the woman on stage grabs two bottles of beer from a guy next to the stage, making the crowd go wild.
Do it. Do it. Do it, they chant, egging her on.
I see Carla covering her eyes as she rests her hand on Bruce, allowing him to guide her out through the door.
“Two beer or not to beer? That is the question!” Abbie loudly proclaims, as the woman lowers herself down on top of them.
My pant leg puts up a fight as I attempt to remove my jeans. I start wriggling out of them as Alexander turns on the lampshade by his side of the bed.
“You missed the best part,” I say, as my legs finally break free. I fold them up and head over to the armchairs.
“I hope you’re not into that kind of stuff,” he says, grabbing his phone and connecting it to the charger.
“Come on, Ryan, you know I don’t like water sports or coprophilia.”
“Ryan!” Alexander turns to face me.
“What?” I look right at him, my hand hovering above the armchair, still holding onto the jeans.
“You just called me Ryan!” His words are laced with anger.
My body feels frozen. Every muscle in my body tightens.
Oh shit.