Chapter 7 #3
"Look at me," Alexandra whispered, and Erin opened her eyes.
Green in the lamplight, swimming, blazing.
Alexandra held that gaze as she slid two fingers inside her wife and curled them, her thumb still working Erin's clit, watching every flicker of pleasure cross Erin's face.
The vulnerability of it, Erin with her walls down, her tactical mind offline, her body responding with an honesty her words rarely matched…
it was the most intimate thing Alexandra knew.
"Lex..." Erin's voice cracked. Her damaged hand gripped Alexandra's hip hard enough to bruise. Her hips rolled against Alexandra's hand, meeting each thrust. "I'm close. God, I'm—"
"Let go. I've got you."
The orgasm hit Erin like something breaking open.
Her body arched and her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth opened on a sound that was raw and unguarded and the furthest thing from the controlled, tactical woman the world knew.
Her muscles clenched around Alexandra's fingers and her body shook and the sound she made was Alexandra's name, just her name, repeated against the pillow like it was the only word she had left.
Alexandra held her through it, drawing out every pulse until Erin caught her wrist and whispered, "Enough.
" She pulled Alexandra's hand free and brought it to her mouth and kissed her fingers, one by one, her eyes closed, her breathing ragged.
The tenderness of it after the intensity made Alexandra's eyes burn.
They pressed together, skin against skin.
Erin rolled them so Alexandra was on top, straddling her hips, and Alexandra braced her hands on Erin's chest and looked down at her wife in the amber light: flushed, undone, her dark hair spread across the pillow, her green eyes holding Alexandra's with an intensity that made her feel as though she was the only thing in the world that mattered.
"Come here," Erin murmured, and pulled Alexandra down, and they pressed together again, and the frantic energy gave way to something slower and deeper as the release washed through them and left them trembling and breathless and tangled together on the rumpled sheets.
For a long time, neither of them spoke. Erin lay beside Alexandra with one arm draped across her waist and her face pressed into the curve of her neck.
Their legs were intertwined. Their breathing slowed in tandem, falling into the same rhythm, the way it always did.
Alexandra could feel Erin's heartbeat against her ribs, rapid at first and then gradually steadying.
"I love you," Alexandra said. The words felt inadequate.
They always did. Three words to carry the weight of a decade, three children, an assassination attempt, a million-pound bribe, an entire country's scrutiny, and now this, the worst night of their lives, survived moment by moment, held together by the simple, stubborn fact that they had chosen each other and kept choosing each other, every day, against everything.
"I love you too, Mrs Kennedy." Erin's voice was a low rumble against her neck, and the old pet name, the one she used in their most private moments, made Alexandra's eyes burn. "And I'm going to bring her home, Lex. I swear it on everything I am."
"I know you will."
"We'll bring her home and then we'll deal with Arthur and Cecilia and every person who had a hand in this, and they will never threaten our family again."
Alexandra turned and pressed her lips to Erin's forehead.
The skin there was damp with sweat and warm with the heat they'd generated between them.
She breathed in the smell of Erin's hair and held her close and let the lamp burn on into the dark, and outside the windows the estate was black and silent and Florence was somewhere in the night and the fear was still there, enormous and implacable, but it was no longer carrying Alexandra alone.
Erin was carrying it with her.
They slept in fragments, waking and reaching for each other, confirming presence.
At two in the morning, Erin's phone buzzed on the bedside table and she answered it with her eyes still closed, listened for thirty seconds, murmured something about ANPR and secondary vehicle tracking, and hung up.
She pulled Alexandra closer and pressed her lips to her hair and they sank back into the half-sleep that was the closest thing to rest either of them would manage.
At four, Alexandra woke to find Erin watching her in the dark, green eyes open and alert, one hand tracing lazy patterns on Alexandra's hip.
"Go back to sleep," Erin whispered. Alexandra didn't go back to sleep.
She lay in Erin's arms and watched the first grey light begin to seep around the edges of the curtains and thought about Florence waking up somewhere without them, and the thought was a blade that turned slowly in her chest.
But Erin was warm beside her. Erin's heartbeat was steady against her ribs. Erin's hand was on her hip and Erin's breath was in her hair and the promise was still there, renewed with every touch.
I'm here. We're together. We'll find her.
The lamp burned until dawn.