4. Irina
Chapter 4
Irina
“ D oes this look okay?” I asked Aurora, staring at myself in the full-length mirror.
I never wore anything revealing—unless it was for a mission. It made it harder to hide my weapons and with this silky red dress, I was only able to wrap my blade around my upper thigh. The only reason I had worn it was because Aurora came into my room and insisted.
She stood beside me, her emerald eyes catching mine in the reflection, matching the flowy green grown she wore. It was a bit large on her, but I refrained from commenting on it. I was the last person to tell others how to dress. “You could wear a trash bag and you’d still be stunning.”
It was Christmas Day and Aurora had planned a small party at the manor. She’d said she wanted it to be intimate with her closest friends and family. And all I could think about was Nicolai and if tonight I’d meet him.
Nerves pricked at my skin, worried that he wouldn’t like me. It was a stupid thought because he had no reason to hate me. . . yet.
“When is everyone arriving?”
Socializing with others was a skill I had needed to learn after leaving Russia. It was interesting how easily people fell into manipulation. All you needed was to give them what they wanted to hear.
Yet, the hollowness inside my chest expanded, ready for the onslaught of emotions I’d shove down.
“They should be arriving soon.” She handed me my lipstick. “I should head down and make sure Roman isn’t yelling at the staff.”
I chuckled. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
With a quick kiss on my cheek, she left the room.
I applied the deep red shade across my lips, relishing at how the particular color boosted my confidence.
Stepping back, I smoothed my blonde hair away from my face. All my life I had been told how beautiful I was, and while I didn’t care for the repetitive compliment, my father taught me how to use it as a weapon of deception. It was pathetic how people willingly gave information to anyone remotely attractive.
The sound of a soft melody permeated the house as I exited the room.
It was as if I’d stepped into a winter wonderland. Twinkling lights were strung up along with multiple Christmas trees standing tall all over the main level. It was grandiose, over the top and festive.
I loved this time of year and the only way I could describe the feeling it gave me was warmth. A small sense of euphoria to be enveloped in a sense of reality that would end as soon as it began.
It made me recall how many holidays I missed with my parents and how we’d never be able to make up for them. Short-lived like everything else in my life.
“Was there a reason you were wandering the manor the night you arrived?”
I turned my head to find Roman standing beside me. He was dressed in all black, eyeing the garland above the fireplace with a head tilt as if there was something wrong with it.
“Doesn’t it get exhausting being aware of your surroundings around the clock?”
He caught my gaze, piercing me with his nearly black eyes. “The way I see it, every single person has a tell.” He stared ahead again. “Once you find it, you can exploit it.”
Of course, I’d known that. I was always alert and ready to strike, if need be, in any situation. Although, allowing Roman to know that would lead him to believe there was more to my story than being Aurora’s best friend.
“Noted, but I don’t have a tell, Roman. You can stop being skeptical of me.”
His lips twitched in what could’ve been amusement. “I always liked you and I can see why my wife is fond of you.”
Making friends had never been appealing to me until Aurora and even then, she had become my only friend. One person you could trust was better than multiple. The more people who knew about your life, the easier it was for them to use it against you.
In my book, this was a small victory. If circumstances were different, I think I could’ve befriended Roman but what was the point when I was here to take my brother home.
“The feelings are mutual.”
He nodded and turned on his heel. “Enjoy the party, Irina.”
As the hour droned on, guests had arrived and my palms grew clammy when I spotted Nicolai.
I had been watching him from afar, unsure of when to approach him. Not that I could when the beast dressed in leather was talking to him.
He was a brute who clearly had expected every woman he encountered to fall at his feet with the way he openly winked at me only a few days ago.
As if I summoned his attention, his eyes flitted to me, the caramel in them darkening as they trailed along my body.
I gritted my teeth, my pulse skidding angrily at the way he gawked at me as if he had every right to.
I’ll have to fix that.
I remembered the words he’d whispered to my ears only. The only thing he’d need to fix was his creepy fixation.
“Sorry.” Aurora diverted my attention as she came to stand beside me, breathing harshly. Her curly hair was fluffier, and the sleeve of her gown had fallen from her shoulder. “I was. . . occupied.”
I pressed my lips together. Considering she had staff to make sure everyone was fed and entertained, her definition of occupied did not fall into that category.
“Roman couldn’t wait, could he?” I asked, fixing her sleeve.
Her face flushed with color, but she smirked mischievously. “Maybe I was the impatient one.”
My head tilted back as I laughed heartedly from her unexpectedness bluntness. When I looked around to make sure no one had overheard our less than holy conversation, I found Luca still staring at me. My smile slowly dropped as my own face heated with warmth.
I’d never been shy of receiving attention from others, I was used to it but there was something about having his that unsettled me.
“You know Roman warned him off,” Aurora said, glancing over to where Luca stood. “But I set them both straight that my best friend knew how to handle herself.”
I appreciated that. I was more than capable of dealing with others, but she didn’t realize this information confirmed my suspicion.
The brute wanted me for some reason and from the feral way he looked at me, I knew this was a game I’d need to play strategically to veer him away.
“Curiosity killed the cat, Aurora,” I replied, narrowing my eyes at him. “He’ll find out that this one bites first.”
“Never doubted that.” She linked her arm around mine. “Before you start biting though, let me introduce you to everyone else.”
Roman had his whole security team around, many of them standing with watchful eyes despite the lack of danger but it made sense when their chief was Ricardo, a large man with a buzz cut who grunted more than he spoke.
Aurora’s brother, Enzo, and his girlfriend Sofia were seated at the kitchen island, whispering between themselves.
“Enzo.” Aurora caught his attention before he pulled back from the redhead and smoothed his concerned expression to a gentle one as he regarded his sister. I didn’t miss the way his eyes hung with tiredness. “This is Irina.”
“It’s finally nice to put a name to a face.” I chuckled.
Enzo had been there for Aurora during a time when I hadn’t been able to and for that he was in my good graces.
“I’ve heard nothing but great things about you, the pleasures all mine.” He smiled and turned toward his girlfriend. “Irina, this is. . . Sofia.”
The woman pinched out a smile that didn’t seem genuine as she shifted uncomfortably.
Enzo seemed to have read her body language because he grasped her hand and set it atop his lap. She looked at where they were joined and her face morphed into puzzlement.
I knew enough from this interaction to know there was something off about Sofia.
She turned back to face me. “Hello.” Her voice was husky and stronger than I expected.
“Nice to meet you, Sofia.”
She stared at me for a beat longer, the green in her eyes empty as if she were in a daze.
“I’m making rounds before dinner,” Aurora told them before pulling me away.
When we were out of earshot, I said, “That was interesting.”
She sighed, shaking her head slightly. “Interesting doesn’t even sum it up. ”
I’d have to ask her about them later. I had a suspicion there was a lot to unfold about that relationship.
“And this is my favorite man,” she cheered before we reached my brother. “Don’t tell Roman I said that.”
I wouldn’t dare. And the thought of Nicolai being liked among them gave me a sense of peace to know he was taken care of all these years.
“Aurora.” Nicolai crookedly smiled, nodding his head in greeting at her. “How is Roman’s salvation doing?”
She giggled as a blush crept along her face. I realized that was an inside joke between them.
I knew it was wrong of me to feel the pang of jealousy I did but seeing how close they were reminded me of how much I’d lost.
Someone called for Aurora, and she hurried off, leaving us alone.
“Hi, I’m Nicolai.”
My head flicked to the side so fast it gave me whiplash. They were words that I’d wanted to hear all night.
My brother smiled at me, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners adorned with black glasses.
He laughed, the dimple on his cheek deepening. “There’s a situation regarding Roman and the chef.”
My heart beat against my ribcage, loud enough for me to hear it as I took in his features, trying to recognize the similarities between us and there were. We had the same pale blond hair and a peppering of freckles across our face.
I must’ve been staring in shock because his smile faltered a bit, causing me to collect myself.
“Irina.” Even the smile on my face felt awkward.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He spoke elegantly, his voice a deep melody.
A surge of emotion clawed up my throat, the sting of it burning my nose. I hadn’t expected to react this way. “Likewise.”
He unclasped his hands from his back and let it rest at his sides. “You’re Russian.” It was a statement.
“The accent gave it away, didn’t it?”
He nodded. “ And Aurora speaks of you constantly.”
Her and I both. She was truly my ride or die.
“Do you know many Russians?” The question slipped out before I could stop myself. This was not the time and place to unfold our history.
His brown eyes sparked with something I couldn’t place, his lips pursing as if he were stopping himself from saying what he really wanted to. “Can’t say I do.”
I didn’t believe him and sooner or later I’d find out his real answer. There was a possibility that his mother had told him who his father was.
Awkwardness settled over us and I cursed myself for being the reason why.
He must’ve noticed the mood change because he smiled at me again. “But I’m delighted to have met one now.”
His respectable comment cracked a piece of my exterior, making it harder to be near him.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, walking past him until I’d made my way through the back doors.
The cold wind did nothing to stop the crawling sensation rippling through my spine, slow and steady before it paralyzed me in place as I choked on air.
Invisible hands grasped at me, threatening to tear me apart as I was plunged back into that dark place of nothing.
The episode didn’t last long, but it was enough to remind me that I was still stuck in the shackles of my mind.
I gasped, inhaling a lungful of air before heaving in a fit of coughs.
I didn’t think I could do this. It was hard to even be near Nicolai, let alone speak to him.
I hadn’t seen him grow up and now he was a well-mannered man among people who were his opposite. Yet I was a mere stranger to him.
Suddenly, all I could think of was protecting him from anything and anyone.
It was hypocritical of me, wanting to take him away, only so he could fall into the same position he was in now.
Breathing through my nose, I let the crisp winter air ground me. That’s when the smell of musk and spice enveloped me, suffocating and lethal.
I slowly slid my hand down my thigh, parted the slit of my dress until I’d found my blade and clutched it.
I told Aurora I bite first, just not with my teeth.
In swift motion, I had the knife to the brute’s neck, glaring at him.
Luca loomed over me, larger than I remembered. He stared down at my hand before he set those daunting caramel eyes on my face.
He took one step forward, and I dug the blade further, not enough to draw blood but enough to warn him off.
His pupils flared as he took another step, his chest nearly crushing into mine .
The pounding of my pulse rushed to my ears as my knife nicked him, blood trailing down the column of his tattooed throat.
He fucking cut himself.
I faltered from his unexpected action, but he didn’t notice, proceeding to walk toward me with purpose until he had me cornered, my back hitting the side of the house.
Under the moonlight, he looked like a nightmare come to life. Rough features, untamed hair that curled at the base of his neck and eyes that could trap someone in their depths.
His gaze flicked to my mouth, his expression one of pure savagery.
The winter air suddenly felt nice against my overheated skin as a layer of thick tension crushed me.
His hand moved toward his neck, his tattooed fingers tracing the cut, and painting them with his blood.
The faint flicker of a high coursed through me, ceasing that hollowness inside my chest and diminishing the residue of my earlier episode.
Not again.
I held my breath when that same bloody hand clutched my chin.
“What are-”
He pierced me with a vicious stare as he leisurely swept his thumb across my mouth, cutting me off.
His skin against mine elicited a sharp sensation as if he’d stung me.
My blade was still against his throat, but he seemed to be unfazed by that and the blood soaking through his white tee shirt .
A guttural sound ripped from his throat as he traced my lips, smearing his blood against them. “Made just for me.”
I had seen enough craziness in my time, but I had never encountered anyone like Luca. He was clearly a psychopath, driven by delusion.
I opened my mouth to tell him exactly that when he tsked, his thumb pressing harder against my lips. “Such a pretty mouth for a viperous tongue.” His face hardened, heat radiating off him in waves. “I hope this interaction was far more memorable, piccola ribelle .”
With that, he nudged under my chin and walked back into the house.
What just happened?
I swallowed, staring at the tip of my blade, stained with his blood.
Was this how we’d play the game? Him cornering me in dark places when no one was around.
No one had ever affected me the way Luca had. No one had ever been able to evoke a high with a mere touch and I didn’t know if it was fear or anger that sat bitterly in the pit of my stomach.
Maybe I was as psychotic as him because I hesitantly slid my tongue across my bottom lip, tasting the tang of metallic.
The rest of the night had passed in a blur. We’d gathered in the living area after dinner, sipping from mugs of hot chocolate .
Aurora suddenly squealed, standing in the center of the room. “I can’t keep it in anymore. I’m pregnant!”
My heart soared at the unexpected news. I knew how much she’d wanted this, especially after what she’d been through with her last pregnancy.
Cheers and congratulations erupted as everyone engulfed her in hugs and I was in awe at the way Roman watched her fiercely as if he’d remove anything or anyone that could tarnish her happiness.
“This is the best news,” I said, my throat thick from excitement. “I’m going to be an aunt!”
Aurora wiped the fallen tears from her eyes. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for four months now, but I wasn’t sure. . . ”
She hadn’t needed to finish her sentence because I knew what she meant.
I squeezed her hands reassuringly. “I understand. Now let me see the belly.” I chuckled.
I knew there had been something different about her, but I hadn’t expected this and as she stretched the gown across her stomach, I saw the bump. “The doctor said some women don’t show as evidently as others but it’s growing every day,” she soothed, rubbing her stomach.
“Well, I’m so happy for both you and Roman. Although, having another Roman running around in society would be a nightmare.”
She laughed. “Agreed.”
Her husband came to stand behind her. “Is that so?” He peered down at her, resting his hands on her hips.
She leaned against his chest, setting her hands atop his. “Tis so.”