6. Irina
Chapter 6
Irina
R ain pattered softly against the window, easing me in a state of comfort.
“When are you going to open up the office in New York again?”
My eyes drifted away from the glass and toward Aurora. She was seated in her office chair, a stack of paperwork in front of her.
A smile touched my lips at the way her brows furrowed as she focused on her task.
I stood from the window seat and made my way toward her.
She turned her chair and my eyes fell to her baby bump, which was evident now that she stopped trying to hide it in loose clothes.
“When are you going to stop working?” I asked, spreading my palm over her stomach.
“Don’t avoid the question,” she scolded. “You love working. ”
After Aurora moved back to Italy, I was the one who decided to end our partnership firm back in New York.
I transferred our clients to a trusted firm for the time being, but many of them stuck with Aurora due to her previous successes.
She was right though. I did love working but with the passing of my mother and the discovery of my brother shortly after, that dreaded feeling inside my chest became overwhelming and I needed a pause.
Aurora gasped—nearly giving me a heart attack—as she put her hand over mine and laughed. “Do you feel it? The baby is kicking.”
There was a slight movement beneath my fingertips, and it made my heart soar. I already loved the little one, and I hadn’t even met them yet.
“I feel it,” I croaked out. “Am I the first to feel it move?”
Aurora shook her head, her green eyes sparking with humor.
“Roman?” Of course, he felt it first. If he hadn’t, I’m sure the bastard would’ve found a way to go back in time.
She winced, her nose scrunching slightly. “Nope. He may or may not have gone on a rampage.”
“Then who?”
“Luca.”
One name. Two syllables. That was all it took for my pulse to rise steadily.
My skin became hot, the faint sensation of lightheadedness nearing as I recalled the way our bodies had molded together only days ago .
The brute talked, touched and invaded my space as if he had the right to. As if he was so sure he’d have me.
I didn’t care what sort of adrenaline spiked through my veins with his mere presence. The hollowness inside my chest could rot for all I cared.
Stay in this position and I might adhere to your request.
Shallow breaths escaped me, sensing the weight of him on me as if he were still there.
No. No. No.
I dug my nails into my palms, ridding myself of those thoughts.
If I had known he was there, I would’ve never gone. The only reason I went was to keep up with my physical activities and Roman had given me a pass to the Underground Club.
“Are you okay?” Aurora shook me, her face coming into focus, green eyes assessing me in confusion.
I unclenched my fists, feeling the sting of where my nails dug into the skin.
“Yeah, sorry.” My voice sounded hoarse, and I cleared my throat before pinching out a smile. “Just nervous about asking you something.”
It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was a save on my part. I couldn’t tell Aurora that Luca indeed had tried pursuing me more than once and now I was. . . what exactly was I doing? Fantasizing about him? The brute wished I would.
“About?”
I leaned against the desk, crossing my arms. “Would it be okay if I stayed until the birth of the little one?”
She stared at me for a moment, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. “Has something happened? ”
“What?” My throat constricted. “Nothing has happened, Aurora. I just wanted to be here for the birth.” And have enough time to bring Nicolai home.
“You know you can tell me whatever is troubling you.” It was the finality of which she said that. Not a question or reassurance, but a statement.
“What is troubling you, Irina?”
Our heads turned in unison toward the voice. Roman stood by the door, leaning against the frame as he regarded us with a blank expression.
“You can never stay away from your wife, can you?” I swear the man was never far in distance and had to see her every hour.
A sly smirk touched his lips as he walked toward her. “How do you think she got pregnant?”
“Roman!” Aurora scolded, her face heating from his boldness. “That mouth of yours needs disinfectant.”
And if there was anyone who could get Roman to laugh, it was his wife. The sound was raw and hearty.
“Is this where I apologize? ”
“Not to me.” She stood from her chair, her mouth twitching in feigned seriousness. “To Irina, for being crude. Do it while I use the bathroom. This baby pushes against my bladder like it’s their job.”
“As you wish, anima mia.” He kissed her head before she walked out of the room.
Roman rounded the desk and sat in Aurora’s chair, his elbows resting on the arms of it.
“I’m waiting for my apology.” I joked, quirking an eyebrow at him.
“You wish. ”
I shrugged. “Worth a try.”
“Is it a what or a who?”
“Excuse me?”
“The thing that’s troubling you. Is it a what or a who?” he repeated.
His question caught me off guard. He had no reason to be concerned with my personal life and I hated that he was showing me a side of himself that I knew many people didn’t see. It only made the reason for my stay harder.
I shook my head, a smile lilting my face even though dread warred in my chest. “Aurora misunderstood. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
“That’s not what I asked, Irina.”
The silence was near suffocating as I stared at him, feeling the blood drain from my face. “It’s the same answer, Roman. I’m fine.”
“If you’re not, you can tell me.” He leaned forward, his face hardening. “You’re Aurora’s family, which means you’re my family too.”
This was the moment our dynamic changed. He had become more than my best friend’s husband. More than a Don. He’d become a. . . friend.
The click of the door sounded before Aurora walked back in. “I brought refreshments!”
There was beauty in the darkness.
As I sat in the gazebo, gazing up at the starry night, I savored the stillness that came with it.
My mind had always been a racing, raging mess, constantly overthinking and sent me reeling.
It never made sense to me, but sometimes I needed my old friend—that stillness, that soundless nothing to focus on my thoughts.
If I was alone, then no one could see the turmoil unfolding.
“The winters here are probably nothing compared to the winters in Russia.”
Nicolai walked toward me, holding two mugs.
I cocked my head to the side at his sudden presence.
“You looked lonely.” He handed me the mug and sat down on the chair next to me, the warmth of his gray coat radiating toward me. “Thought you might want some company.”
“That sounds. . . sad.” I huffed out a light chuckle.
My brother smiled at me, the dimple on his cheek appearing. “That’s because it is.”
My own smile crept across my face. He was quick-witted and knew how to lighten a conversation without being callous.
“Are you lonely too?”
He pushed his glasses up with the tip of his middle finger and peered up at the dark sky.
I basked in the silence as I waited for his answer. He had interrupted my quiet, but it didn’t feel unwelcome as I expected. It felt almost normal, as if my body knew he was a part of me.
“I think loneliness is subjective.” He took a sip of his drink. “To answer your question, no, I’m not lonely anymore. ”
My heart squeezed, pulling at the strings that were barely hanging together from this interaction.
“Anymore?” I whispered.
He pursed his lips before staring at me, his blond hair pale stark in the night.
I knew I was prying. I knew I probably came off as strange. I knew I shouldn’t be emotionally invested when he had no idea who I was, but I couldn’t help it.
I might’ve not known of his past, but I saw pain swimming in his brown eyes, dimming the spark they held moments ago.
Goosebumps arose on my skin. It almost felt like I was staring at my reflection.
“I’m being invasive.” I shook my head. “You don’t need to answer.”
His eyes roamed over my face, a frown appearing on his sharp features. “Roman saved me when I was on the edge of losing myself.” He broke eye contact, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared ahead. “He took me in and gave my life purpose.” Then, in a tone barely above a whisper, he said, “He was the father I’d always wanted.”
A bitter taste settled on my tongue as I digested his words.
Nicolai had gone through something terrible, so terrible that he’d almost lost himself in the process.
That hollowness inside my chest ached, eating all the emotions racing through me when all I wanted to do was scream.
It was clear that my brother was content with Roman and his crew, but I was selfish. It was wrong of me to try to take that away from him. I knew that. Yet, I was still here .
“Thank you for sharing that with me.” It was all I could say. Anything else would’ve sent me spiraling.
Nico shook his head as he chuckled. “I’m usually not an expressive person.” He caught my eyes, understanding passing through his own. “I guess misery loves company.”
My heart thudded, cold sweat breaking down my spine. “Did Roman teach you that?”
“Teach me what?”
“How to read people?”
The corner of his lips twitched. “Why? Was I correct?”
“No.” I stood from my seat, handing him my mug. “I’m not miserable.”
He nodded. “Goodnight, Irina.”
“Goodnight, Nicolai.”