12. Irina
Chapter 12
Irina
“ Y ou’re running out of time, princess.”
Viktor leaned against the brick wall of the alleyway, his hands inside his pockets as he stared at me with distaste.
The feeling was mutual.
“These unwanted meetups are useless. I already told you I’m doing this on my terms.”
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding your father’s calls?”
I narrowed my eyes at him and his stupid, patronizing tone. “What else did he tell you?”
“That he doesn’t mind coming here and resolving the issue in his own way.”
“He’d be a fool to start a war with the Italians.”
He hummed, nodding his head. “War is on the horizon, cousin, so I suggest you hurry the fuck up.”
My skin had become cold, and it had nothing to do with the winter breeze. Viktor knew how to push my buttons, always acting as if he was more knowledgeable and superior to others.
“Then I’ll speak to my father. And you definitely don’t need to be an instigator.” I knew he was constantly in my father’s ear, pushing him to stir the pot where it wasn’t needed. “Go home, Viktor. When the mission is done, you’ll know.”
His head tilted at me, eyes icing over, and I knew that expression all too well. He used it to instill fear in his victims as he interrogated them.
I stood my ground, my hands curling into fists as his gaze lingered over me in assessment.
“No ty yeshche bol’shiy durak.” But you are an even bigger fool.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Your jacket.”
Two words and my heart had begun to race uncomfortably in my chest, sweat gathering at the base of my neck.
Shit .
“I thought you didn’t know Luca Canaveri, Irina?”
My skin pricked at his name. I swallowed through the thick restraint in my throat. “I don’t.”
“I never predicted you as a liar.” He strode toward me and before I could step back, he pulled me to him by the collar. “Not only is this disgusting jacket too big on you, but I recall these same initials when I’d met him.”
A heavy weight settled over me and I breathed through my nose to calm myself down. I hadn’t been thinking when I’d grabbed it this morning.
“Are you screwing him? ”
“No!”
“Isn’t that all you're good for, anyway? Spreading yourself like a whore to serve the Bratva.”
My fist slammed against his face, a sharp pain shooting from my knuckles and up my arm from the force of it.
“If I whored myself out, so did you,” I seethed, bubbling rage burning inside me. “Yet, you’re still at the fucking bottom like you’ve always been.”
Viktor would never retaliate and hit me. He knew if my father found out, his death would be on display for the others to see—to understand the consequences of disrespecting his daughter.
He sneered, wiping the blood from his nose. “By all means, princess, do what you have to do in order to complete your mission.” Then he laughed sardonically. “We all know how you use that pretty face of yours to your advantage, anyway.”
His words sliced through me, coiling deep in my stomach, and it couldn’t have hurt worse than if he’d actually hit me.
He was wrong.
I glared at him, my jaw aching from clenching my teeth. It was useless arguing with him because at the end of the day, we both knew he was right, and I hated it. I hated myself.
As I walked away from him, I let that hollowness inside my chest cave, allowing my emotions to be swallowed by the putrid hole there.
Nightfall had come, and I had been walking the streets of Italy aimlessly, pondering over every single nuisance in my life.
Viktor’s visit had been my breaking point, and my mind wouldn’t shut down.
I needed to breathe, the noose around my neck becoming tighter with every passing minute.
I needed a high to ease the discomfort of being in my own skin.
A nearby pub came into view and I didn’t hesitate as I walked inside the small tavern. This was going to end badly, but I needed a release in the only way I knew how.
Taking a seat on a stool, I signaled to the bartender.
I didn’t count how many shots I let burn down my throat, but I drank until my thoughts were a jumbled mess, worse than they were before, but at least a simmering numbness coated me thoroughly.
A pretty face. A pretty body. All you’re good for.
I shook my head, my vision blurring and mind hazy.
Nicolai will never accept you.
You’re a liar.
Aurora will hate you.
Roman will hate you.
Luca is playing with you.
Luca.
My heart squeezed from the onslaught of agonizing thoughts, and I gasped from the pain.
I’d been feeding into Luca’s delusions. He only wanted me because he couldn’t have me. I was a game to him, the first woman who hadn’t fallen for his charms. And he knew which pieces to move until I was right where he wanted me.
The sting of tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I refused to shed them. I’d gone this long without expressing these emotions that would only hurt me if they were let out. So, I did what I knew best: I shoved them deep into the crevices of my soul, burying them.
It was easier this way.
I took another shot, the bitter taste of alcohol settling on my tongue.
A scalding tear slipped from the corner of my eye, making a path down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, inhaling deeply, not allowing the rest to follow.
I felt pathetic. The universe had never been on my side since I’d been a child, so why did I expect it to be different now?
The bar grew rowdy, my head pounding and pulse racing from the rush of adrenaline.
I stumbled as I stood from my seat and staggered out of the pub.
My vision was unfocused, and I couldn’t remember where I was, or which way was home.
Home. Where was home? I belonged nowhere. Wandering aimlessly through the tragedy of my life and never being stagnant.
Black spots appeared in my line of sight as I unsteadily walked down the pathway of the bar, holding myself against the brick wall.
I was usually good at holding my liquor, but I must’ve overdone it with how heavy I was breathing. My legs weakened until I tripped and braced myself for the fall .
But I never did.
A solid hand wrapped around my torso, pulling me up until I came face to face with the root of all my problems.
Luca was furious as he loomed over me, his jaw set tight, eyes a raging storm against the starless night.
I pouted at him, mimicking his expression before a laugh bubbled out of me and I’d have fallen over again if it weren’t for his harsh grip.
He didn’t find any of it amusing as he suddenly lifted me into his arms, the rush making my head spin.
As I rested my head against his shoulder, I couldn’t help but stare up at him. Even at this angle, he was beautiful. Smooth golden skin, prominent cheekbones stark under the moonlight, the angle of his nose sharp above his full lips. God, he was so beautiful it made my heart race at an abnormal pace.
Luca gazed down at me with those intense caramel eyes, and it sped faster.
Had I said that aloud ?
“Is this where I say thank you?”
Oh. No.