Chapter 6 Damien
Chapter six
Damien
Iwas not a good liar. The remainder of the family barbecue was painful. I was paranoid that everyone would figure out that we were faking things. The only thing that got me through was that for the first time since I’d met Zoe, I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t checking her out.
The blue sundress she wore floated over her curves rather than hugged them, but I could see the outline of her full hips and all I wanted to do was grab them and pull her onto my lap.
I used Mariah as the excuse why we weren’t visibly affectionate, but I knew that would have an expiration date since my parents had always been openly affectionate with each other my whole life.
Bella had made it clear to me that she was expecting me to date Zoe openly and not treat her like my “dirty little secret” and that hit me deep that she thought I would ever do that.
The fact that Zoe was OK with people assuming that I was hiding our relationship told me more about her past relationships than any words could.
I didn’t know much about her life in Melbourne but I knew enough to guess that it was toxic enough to make her flee to Hartwood Bay, and my heart ached at the thought that she would be going back to that soon.
The biggest problem about fake dating Zoe?
How do I fake it well enough that my family was convinced, but still hold back enough that my heart didn’t start believing the lies.
It was hard enough keeping it in check each time I saw her over the last few months but once she moved into my house and started fake dating the organ I once thought had stopped working, the one I thought only had room for my daughter and my family, it started melting.
Melting for her smiles, melting for those deep blue eyes and melting for the effortless way she had with Mariah.
Just the idea of hugging Zoe, kissing her had my chest blooming, like my heart was growing to make room for one more person.
With a handful of words, Zoe had turned me from someone who didn’t date into someone who fantasised about what it would be like if this dating wasn’t so fake.
If only she wasn’t planning to leave Hartwood Bay.
So what do I do when my stone, cold heart starts to soften? I became even more grumpy than I usually was.
By the time Mariah’s netball training popped up in my weekly calendar, I’d already been accosted by my brother, mother, father and future sister-in-law.
Zoe and I had arranged a fake date for Friday so when I ran into Ryan who’s daughter played in Mariah’s team, I’d just about had enough questions about Zoe.
“Damo,” he sat next to me and we exchanged pleasantries, both focused on our daughters. After we’d watched on in companionable silence for a few minutes, I felt tension rising and could feel his attention on me.
“So, Zoe?” he raised his eyebrows.
“What about her?” My words were terse.
“Why didn’t you tell us about her at the last dinner?” He probed, lacking any subtlety. As a police officer, I hoped that he interrogated suspects better than he was questioning me.
“We were trying to keep things quiet because of Mariah.” The well practised lie slipped off my tongue easier than it had been, although it tasted worse each time I uttered it.
Ryan nodded slowly, briefly looked over at our girls before focusing back on me. “I call bullshit.”
“What?” I didn’t have to fake the shock I felt at hearing Ryan’s response.
“I think it’s bullshit, I think if you were really seeing Zoe, that you wouldn’t keep it a secret or at least not for long.” The cocky bastard raised an eyebrow at me.
“What makes you say that? You’ve known me what? A few months?” I was grasping at straws and uncertain if I even wanted to keep the lies going.
“Enough time for me to know that if you were seriously dating someone, you wouldn’t lead them on for months before telling your family.
” Ryan gave me a pointed look. “I know your brother fairly well, family is important to you both. I also know you well enough to say that you don’t make half hearted decisions. Once you’re in, you’re all in.”
I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right.
I might not take many risks but when I do, I’ve considered every aspect before fully committing to them each time.
No testing waters for me, I assess everything then jump in.
I sat in silence for a minute before throwing my head back and sighing. “It’s fake.”
Ryan looked like the cat who got the cream and if I wasn’t so relieved to tell someone that I was lying my ass off to my family, I’d be annoyed.
“Zoe saw how much Mum and Donna were hassling me about the bachelor auction, so she told them she was my girlfriend,” I confessed.
“Sounds like an ideal way to get out of volunteering, so why are you still so grumpy?” His question appeared genuine but I could tell he was still probing but I was done with trying to hide anything.
“Because of all the women who could pretend to be my girlfriend, she’s the only one who, if I had the choice, that I would actually date.” I felt hollow with those words, it was just my luck that when I found a woman I was interested in that she was already one foot out the door.
“So what’s stopping you?” Ryan asked, matter-of-factly.
“She’s only here for a few more months and you’re right, I don’t go into anything half hearted.” I could pretend I held back for Mariah’s sake, but I didn’t want to open my heart again. Or open it for the first time really.
“How do you know that she’s leaving?” Ryan’s leading question directing him to the heart of the problem.
“Bella told me that she moved here to cover Paige’s maternity leave.”
“So?” he turned his head toward me again. “Doesn’t mean she wants to leave. You should ask her.”
I was mentally kicking myself, I let the fear of being left again make my decision for me. Libby was happy with Sara, my brother was happy with Bella, why did I deny myself the chance to be happy too?