Chapter 21 #2
We exited the room, and I noticed Natty locked the door behind her.
It seemed so odd to me that the club was her home, but also, she had managed to create a safe space for herself that seemed so opposite of the chaotic club below her rooms. A beautiful life that seemed happy.
Like someone had handed her a knife and then given her full rein to carve out a world within these walls.
It made me glad for her and invigorated that maybe I too would carve out my own place here and belong.
Making our way outside and to Callie’s car, we stopped first at the Shake Shack. Callie had worked at the small establishment as a teen, so we were regaled with stories and hilarious memories while we waited for our orders.
Once we had a ridiculous number of fries, three different flavors of shakes and burgers, we headed over to Dead Roses, the tattoo parlor. Since it was a slower night, there was only one other artist on shift, who was currently watching Netflix out front, waiting for any walk-ins.
Which left us alone in the back. We knew Harris and Giles were around, watching, but they weren’t inside with us, which allowed us some privacy.
I was shocked that Giles didn’t stay behind and send someone else.
When I asked, he merely smiled and said he was right where Killian wanted him.
I could tell he was proud of that, and I felt…
like I’d somehow become more precious than even his club.
We sat at the table in the break room with our food spread out. Natty got a veggie burger but attacked it with the same ferocity as my pregnant friend did with her beef patty.
“You decide on a name yet?” Natty asked around a bite of her food.
Callie took a sip of her shake then cleared her throat. “We’re thinking about Ford.”
“Ford Ryan?” I quirked a brow, teasing my friend.
Her face flushed. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
Natty started silently laughing while still chewing.
“What about Logan Ryan or Lee Ryan?”
Her hazel eyes rolled as she crinkled the paper for her burger. She’d already devoured it. “You need to let this L obsession go.”
“Just promise me you’ll name her after me when she turns out to be a girl.”
Callie slid out of her chair and threw her dinner away. “I will do no such thing.”
We all laughed, and as soon as Natty and I finished, we moved toward Callie’s space.
“What are we designing today?” Callie asked me, while pulling out her sketchbook.
I was suddenly nervous as I considered what this would mean when her and Natty saw it. And more importantly, when Killian saw it.
“Here, let me sketch it.” I grabbed her notebook.
Callie’s attention went to Natty who was flipping through a book with previous designs.
She stopped and stared at one in particular and then slid it in front of my best friend.
“Can you do this, with the shading?”
Callie’s brow furrowed as she studied it.
“Where do you want it?”
Natty drew closer then pointed at her chest. “Over my heart.”
Curious, I peered over at the binder where Natty had found her image. The one she’d selected was a myriad of trees. Withered and dying trees, with twisted roots and bare branches. I wondered at its significance when Callie turned back toward me.
“We’re going to start with you because it’ll take me longer.” She pulled on a pair of latex gloves and then started digging through her rolling desk of supplies.
“Between the shoulder blades?” she asked, while pulling on a pair of glasses.
I tugged my sweater off until I was just in a tank top. The back dipped to where my bra strap cut across my back, leaving my upper shoulders bare.
“Yep, right in the middle.”
Callie made some sound and then let out a sigh. “Okay, now regarding the lettering…” I could hear the hesitation in her pause. “Are you sure you want it to say…that?”
At war with myself, once again, I had to shove down the fear and just push on.
“I’m positive.”
There was no turning back now. This was going to thrust us into new territory, and I had no idea how it would end, but for the first time since meeting Killian, I was completely sure of what I wanted.
I was watching Callie’s coworker finish up Natty’s tattoo.
The original plan was for Callie to do it, but my design took well over an hour to complete, and my beautiful, pregnant friend was tired.
Trey, Callie’s coworker, was a nice guy with massive arms and a goatee he’d died pink.
Natty seemed to warm up to him, considering they’d been chatting peacefully for the past forty-five minutes.
I was scrolling through my phone, trying to ignore the fact that Killian hadn’t texted me. I wasn’t sure what I had expected. We’d had a moment this morning, and sure, I technically slept in his arms last night, but it wasn’t like he offered me a property patch or said we were dating now.
It made me feel foolish, thinking he might reach out to me at some point during the day. I didn’t like feeling this way, and the longer I went without hearing from him, the more I realized how unacceptable it was that I was merely waiting on him to be the first to reach out.
So, gathering my bottom lip between my teeth, I texted him.
Me: Running a little late, did you eat already?
It was already past seven, and part of me wondered why he wasn’t curious where I was yet.
I watched the screen, seeing that he’d read the message and was now about to respond. The dots on the screen bounced and then stopped.
When nothing else came through, I decided to navigate over to the tab I still had open for available rentals in Rose Ridge.
It was habit now. It was also hard to convince my brain of what Killian had said about following me wherever I went and not letting me out of his bed.
I wanted to think that meant relationship, but I was too scared to trust that notion.
I browsed through one-bedroom rentals, I was also listening to Natty talk about her tattoo with Trey.
“Why a forest of dead trees?” he asked, while his hand moved in a steady motion over her chest.
Her gaze was up on the ceiling, her ankles crossed, and overall, she looked cozy and comfortable.
With a sigh, she quietly answered, “It’s sort of complicated.
It’s the dark woodland, like a cursed forest…
but a forest just the same. It represents someone I know…
someone that is a part of my life, even if I don’t want him to be. ”
Trey stayed quiet and the buzzing from the gun stayed consistent. Callie was cleaning up her space, and then I heard Trey ask.
“Sounds like maybe it’s someone you should forget. They hurt you?”
Natty shook her head. “Never.”
Then with a contemplative look, she expanded, “There was this movie when I was a kid that I watched…it was about this man who was in love with this woman, but she was cursed and turned into a hawk every night, and he a wolf. It made it so the two could never be together, even if they only loved each other and all they wanted was a life together. They knew because of the curse it was impossible. That’s how it is with him.
We have this curse between us, this thing that will always keep us apart. ”
Trey wiped up the ink as he continued moving his gun over her chest. The dark lines against her fair skin were oddly mesmerizing.
I was so entranced in her story about this person who was her dark forest when my phone vibrated with a text.
Killian: Something came up. I’ll be back in a few days. Giles is going to shadow you whenever you leave. Please use my truck while I’m gone. Don’t walk anywhere alone, that includes around the property line.
I stared feeling my heart flutter and my stomach swoop.
Instead of replying, I tucked my phone back into my purse and peeked back over at Natty. Her dead forest was nearly finished when Trey must have asked a new question that I had missed because Natty was still sharing with him more than she ever had with me or Callie.
“He is dangerous. I don’t pretend he’s not; it’s part of why we’re not together. He would never hurt me, but he would very seriously burn the world down on my behalf. He’s all fire and fury. But somewhere, down deep—” She trailed off, flicking her gaze in my direction.
I wasn’t fast enough, so I stared back at her.
I wanted her to know I was a safe space, but I also knew she was too guarded to trust me.
Still, this story she told of this man who loved her…
it touched some place inside me that was starved for that sort of obsession.
For someone on this planet to love me that way, to want me like that.
A flush crept up my face as embarrassment sunk into my chest. I had assumed that would come from Killian, but my gut told me it wouldn’t.
Maybe for once I’d be wrong. I had no idea if Natty saw my face or had the sense to know what I was thinking of after the brand I’d put on my back, but her next words felt like they were just for me.
“We write each other letters. We don’t add our names or address it to one another.
It’s just this phantom idea that one day our curse will be lifted.
It’s been years since I’ve felt his touch, but he finds other ways of getting through to me.
Sometimes it’s the lack of words, and the things they don’t do that we need to pay attention to.
Sometimes these creatures of darkness only know how to show their love by not bringing their demons around us.
With him, I understand that. His fire would burn me; all I want is to live in peace, but he’s war. ”
My phone buzzed again, and I pulled it free to see Killian had texted again.
Killian: I texted you, Daisy. Text me back, that’s how this relationship thing goes.
I fought a smile and lost.
Me: Wasn’t aware we were in one.
His text came back almost immediately.
Killian: Guess I have to convince you again. It’s fine really, I enjoy reminding you.
Callie was cleaning up her station, and Natty was finally getting wrapped.
Killian: You want an official request, or will you just accept wearing my name on your back?
He had no idea. I heaved a sigh.
Me: So I have to be called an old lady then?
Killian: You do. You ready for that?
I didn’t even have to think about it.
Me: I’ve been ready.
His texting stopped after that, but it still left me with a steady warmth cradling my heart, and something I thought I’d lost began to form.
Hope for a future here, to belong somewhere. To belong to him.
Perhaps this time it would actually last.
Something sinister whispered in the back of my mind, don’t bet on it.