Chapter 1 #2
“Why don’t we head to the main clubhouse, I know they make a big breakfast up there.”
He meant the Stone Riders. Which was odd because his club was in the other direction back at the house.
“No breakfast over with the Chaos Kings?” I raised a brow, needing him to explain why he seemed so comfortable with just heading over to our rival club for a meal.
He shrugged. “No one cooks. Over at Stone Riders, they have a few people who prep meals.”
Just like we’d had when our club was whole. I missed Gene…and my mom.
A chasm had opened at the reminder of her. The facts that now outlined my life as cold pieces of data. Regardless of how often I tried to convince myself it was fiction, or that my mom wasn’t dead, the facts said otherwise.
Still, I liked to pretend that she was alive, and just back home with Miles, waiting for me to come back. She’d be sitting on the porch, smiling and waving at me just like she always did, every single day when I’d walk home from school.
My mother had passed only four months ago, and the doctor worried I might miscarry because the grief was so acute. It was too much, paired with the bullshit from Luke and the club. I knew deep down her passing was the reason Jamie was standing here in front of me.
Promise me, Jameson. You’ll take care of her, keep her safe. Promise me.
I owed him everything.
I could tell he wanted to go up to the main house, and I also knew he was desperate for me to start feeling at ease around the grounds, and hopefully safe enough to sleep at night.
“Can I go like this, or should I change?” I opened my arms and looked down. I had on gray sweats and an oversized t-shirt…thinking about it, it may have belonged to Luke.
I saw the smallest flash in Jameson’s gaze as his eyes trailed my frame.
Things between us were platonic.
Another fact that I had to accept.
“You’re fine, let’s just throw on our shoes and walk over. Fresh air will be good for both of us.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. I grabbed my boots and a sweater, following him out of the house.
The sun was even more magnificent out here, flowing in through the valley like a broken bottle of gold dust.
Dead weeds crunched under our feet as we walked through the glade leading up to the Stone Riders clubhouse. From behind, the club was intimidating.
Two or three stories with large windows, a wraparound porch, and a townhouse off to the side. The siding was fresh, the windows looked new, and the yard was pristine.
It looked more like a fashionable Airbnb, instead of a motorcycle club.
“Killian told me this usually remains locked until a certain time of day, but he gave me the code.”
Jamie softly spoke as he moved ahead of me to what was clearly the back of the clubhouse, and the entry point. This was the third door I’d seen with a keypad attached…seemed like they took their security seriously.
He tried it first, but when it didn’t give, he pressed in a series of numbers until it opened.
“Want the code? Just in case you ever need to head over here?”
I shook my head at his question because there was no world in which I saw myself comfortable enough to ever venture into this club on my own.
The hall we’d entered was dim, but it quickly led toward a long bar that made up most of the greater room. Behind the bar there were sounds of people moving, pans clanking, and the smell of bacon permeating the air.
A woman with white hair and a bandana holding her long locks up faced the bar, while she set steaming loaves of baked bread out.
“Good morning!” she called, smiling as we approached.
I instantly relaxed at her generous smile and easy demeanor. She was so different than our kitchen manager, Gene, from back home.
Gene was mean, and often cruel. But I loved her just the same, especially after she cared for my mother in hospice.
This woman looked like she was a grandmother, soft and sweet, but hard enough to survive this life.
“Good morning,” I offered, sliding onto a barstool.
“Would you two like some breakfast, we have a few others coming in to eat.”
I turned my face toward Jameson to make sure he was okay with eating with other members. He smiled at the woman while sliding onto his own stool. “That would be great.”
Her warm gaze landed on me again. “I’m Red. You need anything at all out there at that cabin, I’ll be sure you get it.” She winked, and I dipped my head in silent thanks.
Jameson’s knee knocked into mine and I knocked mine into his. It was our silent way of speaking. He was telling me to relax. I was telling him to fuck off.
“Hey!” a sweet voice greeted us as a familiar woman came out from the kitchen. She’d introduced herself to me when I arrived, but I hadn’t been brave enough to seek her out again.
I went to smile, but her friendly gaze landed on Jameson who was beaming up at her.
“Natty, hey.”
She set a plate of scones in front of him. “Don’t tell anyone else, but I saved these for you.”
I looked between them, wondering at their familiarity, and hating how my stomach dipped with fear and something else I had no business feeling.
Natty was gorgeous, but she also had an unruliness to her that reminded me of a wildflower.
She was free and seemed to completely understand exactly who she was without fearing it.
I tried not to focus on her wide smile, or her honey-colored hair that hung in long curls down her chest. Jameson wasn’t focusing on anything but her face, and then the scones she’d placed in front of him.
“Can’t believe you got me into eating them.”
“She got you too?” a new voice echoed next to Jameson.
I looked over and saw Killian pull out a barstool, followed by Laura, his girlfriend.
Laura peered down the length of the bar and spotted me. Her huge smile nearly knocked the wind out of me. She’d come by the cabin a few times since I arrived, and while each time was brief it had created enough of a connection for me to feel comfortable around her.
Seconds later, Laura’s blonde hair swayed as she sidled up next to me by pulling out a stool.
“How did you sleep?”
Her blue eyes were bright and excited as she flicked them from me to the man sitting next to me. As if she knew he’d been sleeping on my couch.
I ducked my face to hide the sudden blush from how embarrassed I felt. I should be over these fucking triggers and issues by now.
“Fine.”
“Hungry?” Red appeared with another warm smile. She set a plate packed full of bacon, eggs, and fruit in front of me.
Natty sweetly added one of her scones to my plate with a happy grin.
“This will add a little sweetness to it.”
“Thank you.”
I picked at my plate of food while everyone around me fell into easy conversation.
Even Jamie seemed to laugh along with them, and it made me wonder how well acquainted he was with this group.
He acted as though he’d been around them for years, but I had been around him that long so I knew that wasn’t possible.
It wasn’t until I heard Killian mention something about a perimeter alert last night that my head lifted.
Jameson seemed to notice my apprehension.
His face was turned toward Killian, but his hand came out and rested on my thigh with a slight squeeze.
I wanted to pull his hand into mine, just so I had something to ground me.
As it was, I let his hand linger on me while I listened to what I could.
Killian’s voice kept dipping, so I missed every other word.
“Alarm went off around three in the morning,” Laura leaned over, whispering in my ear. “It wasn’t back by the Chaos Kings, it was farther west. The trail cams picked up a coyote, nothing to worry about.”
I let out a sigh of relief and turned toward her to mouth. “Thank you.”
She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly before jumping up and rounding the barstool.
“Pen, do you want to come check out the kitchen with me?”
I hesitated for a second, and the conversation between Jamie and Killian paused. I knew Jameson wanted to be sure I was okay, but I hated that I was forcing him to coddle me, so I stood to my feet without waiting for him to talk to me.
“Sure, I’d love to.”
We rounded the bar, and slits of sunlight cut through the space from a window above the farmhouse-style sink.
It was wide and deep, almost industrial-sized.
There were butcher block counters that framed the large space, and in the middle a long, thick counter also topped with the thick butcher block. On it was dough being rolled out, Natty smiling up from kneading it.
At least a dozen or so loaves of freshly baked bread sat on the other end. The space was clean, organized and lacked any clutter.
“Here is the pantry. If you ever run out of anything at the cabin, you can come here and restock,” Laura said, guiding me to a smaller alcove. The shelves were lined with bulk items: peanut butter, canned tomatoes, beans, salsa, bags of chips, and baking ingredients.
“There’s no washer or dryer out at the cabin. I can show you an easy spot to slide in unnoticed to do your clothes while you’re here.” Laura walked farther into the kitchen, where a small room hid behind a set of gliding doors.
A simple top loading washer and dryer sat, next to a large sink.
“This door has a code I can give you. Only Red, Killian and I have the code, so it won’t be used hardly ever, if at all.
Most of the club uses the washer and dryers designated to the floor they’re on.
There’s one in the basement, and then another set over in the bunk houses—so really, this one is all yours if you want it.
We use it from time to time for dirty rags. ”
I nodded, unsure of what to say. The kindness she was offering was so foreign to what I had become accustomed to with the Chaos Kings.
Laura didn’t seem to notice my reluctance; she just pulled out her cell phone.
“You have your phone on you? I can text you the code.”
I didn’t have it on me; I had left it at the cabin. I was about to shake my head when she waved me off.
“I have your number from the last time I was there. I’ll just text it to you.”
We turned once more, but this time, I stopped at the sight of Jameson leaning against the frame of the door, watching me.
“You ready to head back?”
I nodded, touching my stomach. Jameson’s gaze dropped with my movement, his face quickly twisting into concern.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing. I just feel a lot of kicking sensations lately. Just messes with me a bit.”
He took my hand in his, and I tried to ignore how warm it was, and how good it felt to have him anchor me in a time when everything felt like it was shifting. I thanked Laura for the tour and swiftly followed Jameson through the back.
A sigh of relief was caught in my lungs, and it remained trapped there as we descended the steps to the back of the clubhouse, only to come face to face with a few of the remaining Chaos Kings.
“Hey Prez, you already eat?” Bones, one of the members who had an unkept beard and a dangerous obsession with knives, called out to Jameson.
I didn’t miss the way his eyes dropped to where my hand was joined with their leader’s, or the way the members glared in disapproval.
I knew what this looked like.
They likely thought Jamie and I were fucking, and that I was just member hopping, as if I hadn’t been loyal to Luke.
I wasn’t the one screwing other people in front of him after he’d rejected me and the baby. I wasn’t the one out there getting drunk and hitting up strip clubs. That was never me, and yet the club acted as though I were nothing but a Sweetbutt, looking for club cock to suck.
I tried to let Jamie’s hand go, but his grip only tightened around mine, which meant he’d also noticed the way his men were watching me.
“They’re about to finish up, but head on in and see what might be left. Going forward, we need to start cooking out at the spot they gave us. Don’t want them thinking we’re just taking their spots, and all their food.”
Bones glanced over to another member, Kizer, and the two seemed to share a knowing look.
“The two of you are welcome to go in though, right?” Kizer asked, lifting his chin in my direction.
“Yep,” Jamie replied, pushing past them.
I walked with him, although having the Chaos Kings at my back wasn’t the best feeling in the world. But these ones were loyal to Jameson. Not me…but that didn’t matter.
Not when this was just temporary, and me being a burden to Jameson King was a phase.
One I’d pass through quickly.