Chapter 10 #3
“Son, I love you. But I know your father, and whatever horrors you’ve seen so far is nothing compared to what he will turn you into.
You have to keep your head clear, you only have one more year where he’ll continue to take you, if that.
Now that you’re patched here with his permission, it may be Dirk who pulls the strings. ”
I scowled, feeling exasperated. “Then it’s a good thing I have you pulling Dirk’s, isn’t it?”
Her face twisted with malice, and I instantly felt like shit. My mother did things with a purpose behind them. The very fact that she was with Dirk meant she likely had an end game; whatever it was, I trusted her with it.
“Dirk will only be distracted for a few months, maybe a year if I’m extra vigilant…he’ll move on and he will notice what you’re doing or what you aren’t doing. Do not bring attention to Natty, and if you can help it, stay in the shadows, stay in the background for as long as you can.”
That darkness appeared to seep back in. A web of evil I couldn’t seem to outrun.
My mother seemed to know I was done. She moved to the side, keeping her arms folded in tight. I made my way out through the back and moved to the house, coming in through the garden. The first thing that set me on edge was the laughter.
I could hear Natty’s sweet giggle from outside the gate, which meant she had the windows open. So, she felt safe with Alec…and confident enough that he’d keep her protected.
My boots padded softly in the dirt, soundlessly so neither of them knew I was near the window. I stopped short when I heard Alec speak up.
“Seriously though, you aren’t the least bit curious where his new nickname came from?”
Natty let out an exaggerated sigh. I could see her through the window, balancing on her forearms, while Alec sat on a stool, both of them picking at a pan of French fries between them.
“He’ll tell me eventually.”
Alec scoffed, dipping his fry in sauce. “I don’t think he will.”
My gut twisted because he was right. I’d never tell her how I had earned the title, The Roman.
Natty paused, toying with the ketchup bottle.
“Do you really think it will make that big of a difference to me?”
My stupid brother leaned closer, touching the leather cut still on her shoulders. “You’re wearing his patch, so yeah…figured you were the kind of person who would care about something like this.”
“Fine, tell me.” Natty gave up, stretching while letting go of the bottle and pushing her hands through her hair.
I could go in and interrupt, stop Alec from telling her, but some dark and twisted part of me wanted him to do the dirty work. I wanted to watch her face when she learned what sort of monster I truly was. I wanted her to face it and test that eternal sunshine that seemed to be setting in her chest.
Alec leaned in, arms folded on the counter.
I held my breath.
“Silas was given the nickname, The Roman, because of how he chose to torture our father’s enemies. We were each given a choice…a gun to the back of the head, a hammer to the eye, a carving project with knives…”
Natty went very still, but softly asked, “Which did you choose?”
My brother seemed caught off guard by her question, but he answered just the same.
“Gun to the head. The only form that wasn’t torture.”
He wasn’t explaining the other piece to that…how he’d put that gun to the head of our target’s families. It was torture in the worst way imaginable.
“And Silas?” Natty asked, her voice so sweet and light, it felt like an angel was sitting there with a demon, discussing the loss of souls.
Alec’s lips twisted to the side. “Silas chose to crucify his victims. He thought that up all on his own, and our father completely loved it.”
Hating myself wasn’t enough, I knew I didn’t deserve Natty but like fuck was I going to share her with anyone else. I left my perch near the window and opened the back door, alerting them both to my presence.
Alec’s gaze stayed on Natty as I entered, but hers immediately jumped to me, her gaze prodding and searching me for any damage. I saw relief flitter through her gaze when she realized I was fine.
“Get the fuck out,” I said to my brother while slipping out of my boots and cut.
He laughed, shaking his head. “How about, ‘thank you, Alec, for watching over my friend.’”
Natty watched the interaction between us, her eyes shrewd and calculating.
Turning toward him, I smiled showing my teeth. “That patch on her back make it seem like she’s just my friend? She’s mine, and I think you fucking know that. She has been since we were kids, and I won’t thank you for doing something I knew you’d enjoy.”
His gaze moved to Natty’s briefly before he stood from his stool.
“Till next time, Artemis.” He gave her a salute and then left through the front door.
“I hate that nickname.” She exhaled and then gave me a smile. “You were by the window listening.”
I kept my face expressionless as I flicked off the light for the kitchen and we moved into the bedroom. We still had the twin we were both squeezing on, but it was perfect. She was perfect.
She shut the door and slipped out of her clothes, pulling on one of my t-shirts.
“So tell me then.”
“Tell you what?” I stretched out, wearing just my boxers, while I stared at the ceiling.
The lights were off, so just the fragments of light from outside filtered in.
She crawled in next to me, so I began stroking her back.
I tried to imagine us in a different life.
One where I’d snuck into Natty’s window, her loving family asleep but protective of her.
Her going to high school like a normal seventeen-year-old.
Me following her through the halls, obsessed with her.
Her dad warning me off. Her mom loving me, sneaking me dinner before Natty’s dad came home from work.
I gave the ceiling a sad smile.
Her fingers brushed over my neck. “Tell me why you chose crucifixion. I know you, Silas. There’s a reason you chose it.”
“What if I chose it because I’m sick and twisted inside?”
She hummed, caressing my jaw. “Perhaps, but I think there’s something else.”
It was a waste of our time pretending, so I filled my chest with air and then let it all out, praying she’d still want me once I spilled my truth.
“I didn’t want them to die. The gun to the head would have killed them faster, but they’d still die.
The knives would have only been allowed if they’d passed from the blood loss.
Every option my father presented ended in death.
I thought of something, anything that would be so outrageous that my father would leave it alone.
I couldn’t imagine how badly it would hurt to be nailed to a piece of wood, but in the end, after I came back and let them down, they’d still have their lives.
I should have known my father better…after the first few that I’d done, he’d patted me on the back.
I walked away, setting a timer on my phone for when I could circle back, but he called me back to finish it. ”
It was a cruel joke.
A fucking test.
But Fable had been so thrilled, so fucking excited.
“My father loved the new tactic so much, he started giving me more people to target. I began crucifying my father’s enemies, and in doing so, I became The Roman.”
A tear from Natty’s cheek slid against my chest as she whispered, “Tantum tenebris.”
So much darkness.
I felt my own eyes begin to burn as the reality of how my life had changed, set in.
How I’d been forced to become a murderer.
An executioner. Now I had this perfectly pure person next to me, and she was seeing all of it.
One day there would be someone better, someone whole, and they would show her that this life we lived was fucked up.
Her body moved closer, her hand wrapping around mine until she was pulling it up to her lips.
“You belong to me, Silas Silva. No matter what you do, no matter how he tries to indoctrinate you with his darkness, at your core, you’re pure light.
I’ll be here reminding you of that for as long as you want me. ”
A tear slipped down the side of my face as I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat.
Eventually I was able to say the only thing I could think of.
“Forever, Caelum. I’ll want you for that long, and then longer when the devil demands my soul.”
She kissed my chest. “He can’t have what belongs to me.”