Chapter Eleven
Elise
My sweet Leesy,
Guess what I did this week? I climbed a bitch of a mountain, and I admit, it almost sent me doolally. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, baby, but also the most meaningful because it showed me what I’m capable of, and I think, before I climbed that thing, I didn’t believe I was capable of much.
It’s crazy. I love my dad, and I love the club, but it’s always held me back. I’ve been trying to prove myself to people since I was five years old, but they just see the biker kid, Bandit’s son. It was only you who ever looked deeper. I never realized how much I craved the town’s acceptance and how deeply I needed people’s respect. Here, I get respect on merit; being myself is enough. Nobody turns their nose up at me for being a biker or crazy Don Stone’s boy.
Maybe at the club, I’m too wrapped up in shit that, at the time, I think means everything, but outside that world, it really means nothing. Don’t get me wrong, my plans haven’t changed. I still want to run the club one day with you by my side, but being here and discovering what I’m capable of has made me see things a little differently. Now, rather than just being a biker club, I see the Demons could one day be a force to be reckoned with.
I punched the air and heehawed when I read you were coming here with Mom. DI Morley walked past the dorm as I did it, and it got me a night watch duty. I didn’t care, though. I took all your letters with me and read them over and over, thinking about seeing you again and holding you in my arms. Being without you feels like shit, Leesy. I’m sorry for putting you and us through this, but I needed to do it for myself. It’s selfish, I know, but when I put a ring on your finger, it’ll all be out of my system, and I’ll have become the man you deserve.
I need a favor, baby. Isaiah’s woman’s coming to see him graduate. She’s a tall, pretty Latina, and she’ll be alone. Isaiah’s worried she’ll feel out of place. Would you look out for her and say hi? Let her sit with you and talk to her. I know you’re shy around new people, but I also know you’d hate anyone feeling alone. That’s why I love you so much; you’ve got a big, beautiful heart.
Can’t wait to see you. Days, baby, not months. We’re nearly past the first hurdle. It’ll get easier from here on out, I promise.
Love you, always,
Your Stone.
Blinking back my tears, I carefully folded the letter, put it back inside the envelope, and slipped it into my purse. My gaze went to Constance, who stared out of the window of the plane that was due to land in San Diego in about fifteen minutes.
I couldn’t believe we were finally here. It had been twelve weeks and two days since I’d seen or spoken to John. My heart raced at the thought of the following day when I could finally run into his arms and breathe him in deep.
Stealing another glance at Constance, I noticed how the bright, midday sun seemed to bring her to life, though her expression remained distant. She was a million miles away, lost inside her thoughts, no doubt desperate to see her son again.
Settling back into my chair, my gaze went to the window, my thoughts returning to the day of my sixteenth birthday when John had first noticed me down by the creek. I smiled when I remembered how, back then, nobody thought we’d make it. He was a biker kid, handsome, mysterious, and a little rough around the edges. I was the princess, shy and scared of most things, until John made me realize there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.
A loud ping and the pilot’s voice asking us to fasten our seat belts jolted me back to the present. I clicked my safety belt together and reached instinctively for Connie’s hand, seeking solace in her warmth.
She turned, and our eyes met.
“Nearly there,” Connie murmured. “Not long until we see our boy again.”
My heart leaped. “I can’t wait. I know it’s only been a few months since John left for boot camp, but it feels like years. What if he’s changed?” I bit my lip nervously. “What if he sees me and realizes he doesn’t feel the same way as before?”
Constance dipped her chin to look me square in the face. “You know him better than that,” she smiled knowingly, “Stone men love hard, fast, and forever. John’s no exception. Have faith.”
My forehead furrowed. “Stone men love hard, fast, and forever? What does that mean?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “Bandit’s dad married his mom within a week of meeting her. They were together thirty years until the day they passed. My daddy wouldn’t give Don his blessing. Within a week, I was in a courthouse saying I do. John saw you as a woman for the first time when you were sixteen. He waited, and here you both are. If you think three months apart will change his mind, then you’ve got a lot to learn about Stone men.” She grinned. “Don’t worry. You’ll learn eventually.”
As the plane descended, my stomach churned with anxiety. Connie’s words lingered in my mind, and my heart warmed at her unwavering faith in her son. The roar from the engines grew louder, and the wheels touched down on the runway, causing a collective sigh to sound through the plane.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.
We were here.
One more day and I’d get to see John.
I couldn’t wait.
The following day, I woke up cursing my brain’s inability to sleep and winced at the sight of the dark bags forming under my eyes. It was typical for me to look like a hag when I was finally about to see John.
Connie and I were tired after traveling to San Diego, so we went to a diner and decided to have an early night. We wanted to be up early the next day for our visit.
Visitor’s Sunday was an event held five days before John’s graduation, during which friends and family got to see our boys before they officially became Marines. After twelve weeks of intensive training, we’d finally be reunited, and I could hardly breathe.
I got ready and brushed my hair until it fell in waves around my shoulders. Then, I sprayed my Charlie Naturals perfume and slicked on the iridescent pink Helena Rubenstein lipstick my mom had bought me. Connie and I had already arranged to meet at the hotel reception, so I quickly checked that my white summer dress and matching cardigan looked okay before making my way downstairs.
As soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs, I caught sight of Constance. She looked beautiful and sophisticated in a black and grey houndstooth dress. Her face was expertly made up, and her hair was loose, with two victory rolls at the front.
I walked toward her, giving her a low wave as I caught her eye.
She stood from the couch where she’d been waiting. “Elise,” she murmured, approaching with her arms open for a hug. “You look pretty as a picture.” She took me into her arms, squeezing gently. “We’ll go for breakfast, then head over to the base.”
I pulled back, pressing a hand to my belly. “I don’t think I could. My stomach’s churning.”
“You can’t turn up at the base without eating. It’s hot, and we’re staying outside to watch John’s platoon do their marching thing. If you faint, he’ll lose his mind,” she deadpanned.
Grimacing, I gave Connie a nod. “You’re right. It’s gonna be a long day. Let’s go eat.”
We went into the hotel restaurant, ate, and grabbed coffee.
My mind was half on Constance and half on trying to overcome the nerves that were making my insides jump. I nodded and smiled as Connie talked, but all I could think of was John. It had been so long since I’d seen him, I worried that, in his case, maybe absence hadn’t made the heart grow fonder. His letters were full of the same love and care he’d always shown me, but what if, when he saw me again, he didn”t feel the same way? He wouldn’t be the first man to change his mind when excitement and adventure beckoned.
I chewed my lip as we hailed a cab. Silence fell over the vehicle throughout the fifteen-minute journey to the Marine base. Connie was deep in thought, too, probably for the same reasons I was. By the time we gave our names to the soldiers at the gates and were directed toward the area where families were gathering, my fingers trembled, and my heart was racing out of my chest.
Sunlight bathed the courtyard, and heat beat down on my shoulders. I removed my cardigan and placed it on a row of chairs that had been laid out for us. Looking around, I took in the low-slung, one-story buildings and the concrete ground, marveling at how the sunlight hitting the sandy-colored brickwork gave everything a golden hue.
People began to fill the courtyard. Excited chatter floated on the breeze as the recruits” families talked about their boys and how desperately they were looking forward to seeing them again. As the minutes ticked by, my chest tightened, making it hard to breathe.
A lump formed in my throat as Connie’s hand found mine, offering a silent reassurance. “It’s nearly time.” She smiled kindly. “We’ll be seeing him in seconds—” She was interrupted by the sound of collective boots marching as one in the distance. A buzz went through the crowd as we all craned our necks, peering in the direction of the thumping sound of boots hitting concrete.
A drumbeat began to thud, and the high pitch of bugles filled the air. My heart leaped into my throat as the men came into sight, marching in time to the Military Band.
Leaning forward, my eyes flicked over the men, searching for John among the sea of light brown uniforms. Rows of men trooped into the courtyard, looking identical apart from their various builds and heights. Suddenly, my gaze fell on a tall, straight-backed man marching past, and my skin prickled with awareness.
Connie grabbed my hand. “There he is,” she whispered, but I didn’t need her to point him out. My body responded to John’s presence all on its own because my heart recognized his. I drank in every inch of him, my eyes flicking over his shoulders, broader than before, his trimmed-down waist and sexy butt, seemingly more muscled from all the physical training he’d done over the last few months.
The last of the men marched in and lined up, following the bellowed commands of the officers who accompanied them. The drumbeats stopped, and the officer in charge walked down the line inspecting the soldiers, stopping occasionally to ask some of them questions. After he’d spoken to a few men, he nodded toward one of the sergeants, who turned to the men and bellowed an order.
Every soldier took a deep step back in perfect time and pivoted until they faced us. With a loud “ooh rah!” they were dismissed.
Without thinking, I grabbed Connie’s hands, and we rose from our chairs. I rolled up on my toes, trying to catch sight of John through the crowd of men who were surging toward us. “Can you see him?” I asked in a panicked tone. “Where is he?”
The throng of soldiers seemed to part, and suddenly, John was right there, striding toward us, his golden eyes burning into mine. The sun beamed down on him, lighting him up, and my heart fluttered, compelling me to press a hand to my chest.
My breath caught in my throat, and my eyes prickled at the mere sight of his beautiful face. John seemed taller, broader, and more mature as if being here had somehow made him grow up. He’d always carried himself confidently, but a new air of capability oozed from him.
My feet moved toward him without me even noticing. Just being in his orbit made me feel like I was walking on air. My pace quickened, and I ran toward him and flew into his arms.
John went onto his backfoot, catching me as if I weighed nothing. “Duchess,” he murmured, burying his face in my throat and inhaling me as his muscular arms banded tightly around my back.
I nuzzled my face against his chest. Tangy cologne, mixed with the masculine musky scent that embodied everything John, made my stomach do a backflip, and for the first time in months, my insides settled.
John’s grip on me loosened, his chest rumbling as he croaked, “Ma.” One arm flew out to touch Connie’s arm as he drew her toward him.
Reluctantly, I stepped back, watching as his mother reached up and lovingly touched his face. “You’re more handsome than ever, John. I can’t believe how much you’ve grown up.”
John took off his white dress hat and rubbed a hand over his shorn hair. “The officers whipped me into shape. It took a few weeks, but I got there in the end.” His eyes fell on me again, and his smile widened. “I can’t believe my two best girls are here. It’s so fuckin’ surreal.” John turned and slid an arm across my shoulders while keeping his mom under the other arm as he steered us toward one of the buildings. “Let’s go get a drink and talk. Need to catch up with everythin’ from home.”
“How are you?” Connie questioned. “You look so well.”
The arm around my shoulders tightened as we began to walk. “I’m good, Ma. I’ve been exhausted for weeks from all the physical shit we’ve been doin’, but somehow, seeing you both has given me more energy than I’ve had for weeks.”
I slid my hand across his stomach, my heart filling with pride as we walked. I marveled at his new washboard abs, which were more defined than before. “You’re stronger,” I declared. “And you seem stronger mentally, too.”
“It’s this place, baby,” he explained. “Thought I was tough before, but I wasn’t. I’m still learning and probably will be for my entire military career, but my attitude’s done a one-eighty. Being here’s taught me I can do anythin’ I put my mind to—”
“Stone!” a deep voice called out.
I looked to my left and noticed a soldier making his way toward us. He was tall and built with dark skin and had a swagger that Bandit would’ve been proud of. He suddenly smiled, and my breath caught at how it lit up his handsome face.
“Who’s that?” Connie asked, gazing at the man as he approached, her eyes going soft and gooey.
“Ma!” John barked. “Behave yourself.”
“And who are these beautiful ladies?” John’s friend drawled. He took Connie’s hand with a flourish and kissed it. “You must be Stone’s sister?”
I raised a hand to cover my smile at Connie’s coy giggle.
“Jesus,” John muttered, looking to the heavens. “You know it’s my mom, Isaiah. I told you she was coming today. Should’ve known you’d fuckin’ suck up.” He shook his head frustratedly. “Leesy, Ma, this is my bud, Isaiah Jones. Isaiah, this is my mom, Constance, and my girl, Elise.”
I stuck my hand out. “Hey! John told me about you in his letters. It’s nice to meet you.”
He took my fingers and raised them to his mouth. “John said you were pretty, but he didn’t tell me you were gorgeous.”
My face heated.
John rolled his eyes. “We’re going to get a drink. Coming?”
“Try and stop me.” Isaiah slipped Connie’s hand through the crook of his arm before leading us through a set of double doors and down a corridor. “There’s a place through there we call The Diner, though it’s really a small mess hall. It serves the best coffee, though. Me and John caught wind of it on our first week here. Whenever we got stuck on guard duty, we’d come here to fill our canteens, so we had a supply to keep us awake during the night.”
We went through a set of double doors into a large room with a counter at one end selling sandwiches and pastries. Isaiah led us over to a table. “I’ll get the coffee,” he announced before turning for the counter.
“What a nice boy.” Connie beamed.
John pulled out a chair for his mom. “Just as well Dad wasn’t here. He’d have shot Isaiah in the dick.”
Connie took her seat with a smirk. “Oh, hush. Bandit knows I’d never do anything silly. He’s got those girls all over him back at the club. Wouldn’t hurt him to get a taste of his own medicine.”
“Dad would never do anything,” John protested, coming back around the table to help me settle into a chair.
“Of course he wouldn’t,” Constance agreed sweetly, watching John take the chair next to me. “He knows I’d shoot him in the dick if he did.”
John took my hand in his, laughing. “How is the crazy old buzzard?”
“Missing you,” she replied softly. “The club isn”t the same without you, John. Bandit won’t admit it, but he’s feeling your absence, Abe too. The brothers ask after you daily. They want to know what you’re doing, and they often talk about their Marine training and compare notes. I don”t think your dad realized how much he’d miss you being around.”
John’s fingers squeezed mine as he thought over his mom’s words.
My heart went out to him because I knew how much he loved Bandit. Their relationship was contentious. John’s dad was a complex man with high expectations of his son, but anyone could see Bandit’s pride when it came to his boy. John was well-liked in ways his dad wasn’t, and I think Bandit secretly got a kick out of the fact that John—a biker’s son—commanded respect from much of the townsfolk.
“I miss him, too,” John murmured. “The hardest part of doing this is being away from you all. I love being here, but it’s bittersweet, ya know?” He turned to me. “I’ve got a new appreciation for you, baby. So many of the guys have gotten Dear John’s over the weeks. They’ve all said they’ve found something here but lost something good in the process. I’ve never once doubted you or felt that you resented me. It’s made me realize how lucky I am to have you.”
“You should be proud of her, John,” Connie interjected. “Elise has made an effort to see me every week and works hard at college and the store. She never complains; she just gets on with it.”
“It’s nothing, Connie,” I murmured. “John’s in a strange place, working hard to keep our country safe. I’ve got an easy life compared to him.”
John leaned over and kissed my cheek, making me blush. “See, Ma? Told ya I’d found a good one.” He pulled me in and popped a kiss on my head.
I smiled, but underneath, a cold realization crept through me.
The more he praised me, the lower my heart sank. It was clear John was changing and evolving in ways that eventually would see him outgrow me. The military was molding him into somebody who wouldn’t need anyone, including me. I couldn’t help the stab of worry when I wondered how it would bode for us in the future.
What if coming home to our small town in Wyoming wasn’t enough for him? After the excitement of the Marines, would settling down with me in Hambleton be enough?
Would I be enough?
Over the next few hours, Connie and I laughed and chatted with the boys, listening to their boot camp stories and talking about home. John’s eyes shone with excitement as he relayed how proud he was that the Marines were building him into a solid soldier and a man his brethren could rely on.
A huge part of me felt elated for him. He’d wanted this for so long, and I was so proud he’d come away and, by his own strength of character, had made it a success. But a tiny voice buried deep inside couldn’t help whispering,
What if John slipped away from me, piece by piece?