Chapter Thirty-Two
Stone
The second I drove out of sight of Henderson’s ugly fucking mansion, I pulled Bessie over to the side of the road.
A red mist descended over my eyes, and I let out a bellow, smashing my fist three times into the steering wheel.
I couldn’t think straight, lava flowed through my veins and my chest burned to the point of pain. The look on Elise’s face, the anguish, the disgust, the pure venom. I got it. I boiled over at the thought of her going behind my back with Henderson, but I could understand it.
It wasn’t easy being a military wife. They were alone a lot of the time, missing their men without much help or support. I wasn’t stupid, I could see how it could happen, but I never once believed my girl would do it.
Not to me.
Not to us.
She’d wrecked me, broken my heart, sentenced me to a life full of nothing.
My jaw clenched so tight it hurt.
And what the fuck was Elise talking about when she said she went to Dad? I didn’t understand, he never said a word to me, he just explained how he was grieving and jacked up by Mom’s death. Nothing around me made sense anymore. People I always thought I could trust were turning out to be the biggest traitors and my head spun with it.
I felt the heat lick up my throat and behind my eyes. Raising both hands, I pressed the heel of my palms to the sockets trying to think of who I could go to, who could explain. Who the fuck could shed some light on everything that had happened when I was gone?
Who in that club could I trust to be honest with me?
Leesy’s voice floated through my brain…
The only honorable person left is Iris…
Teeth gritting, I switched Bessie’s engine on, revved the engine, and sped away.
I needed answers, and God help me, I’d make sure I got every single one before I confronted my dad. If he’d played a part in Elise leaving me, he’d see the man he created in his image, the future prez of the Speed Demons.
And he wouldn’t like that man one bit.
It took mere minutes to get to Abe and Iris’s house, which was in the opposite direction at the back of Main Street on the side of the Speed Demons’ compound.
By the time I screeched to a halt, and jumped out of Bessie’s cab, Abe was already storming outside with a shotgun aimed straight at me.
“Christ, Stone,” he yelled, lowering the barrel and placing the weapon down on the porch swing. “The fuck you playin’ at? Thought we were bein’ damned ambushed.”
“Why haven’t you and Iris been at the club?” I demanded, stomping up the wooden porch steps. “Been back a couple’a days and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of either of ya. You haven’t even given me your condolences about Mom.”
Abe’s face fell. “I’m leavin’ the Demons. Don’t like the shit that goes on there. I gotta woman to think about, someone I love deeply. It’s not an environment I want her in.”
I looked Abe straight in the eye. “Why?”
He jutted his chin up and kept silent.
“What did they do to Elise?” I asked, tone hard as nails. “Is it true Dad shot at her? Missed?”
“We both know he missed on purpose, John,” Abe murmured. “If he intended to hit her, he would’ve.”
My hand tore through my hair. “Why didn’t you stop him?” I bellowed. “He could’ve killed her. She was fucking pregnant!”
“Was on a run,” Abe said, no infliction in his tone. “Found out about it three days after it happened, from the fuckin’ mayor of all people. He came speeding up, shoutin’ his mouth off at Bandit. He nearly got shot himself. It wasn’t good.”
“What the fuck?” I breathed, gut roiling.
Abe heaved a breath. “Can’t be part of that. My Iris has some lip on her. If she sees shit she don’t agree with, she speaks up; it’s what I love most about her. One day, she’ll speak up there and if anyone does it to her, I’ll burn that barn down with every brother inside. Your mom was revered, John, but I don’t like the way they treat the other ol’ ladies. Half of the married men have their dicks in the whores, who incidentally run riot, and their wives are expected to turn a blind eye. Your dad never did it, but since Connie’s been gone, he hasn’t come up for air. There’s no order anymore, no respect. If I wanted to live in the Wild West I’d be wrangling horses, not goddamned bikers.”
The front door opened, and Iris walked out holding two beer bottles. “Here,” she said, handing me one and another to Abe. “I think you need these.”
I took the bottle with one hand and scraped the other one down my face. Turning to Iris, I asked, “You okay, Rissy?”
She smiled through the worry behind her eyes. “I’m fine, but the club’s starting to frighten me, John. I love ‘em, I do, all of ‘em, but there’s a dark side I’m not sure I’m cut out for. Connie kept it under control, but she’s not here anymore and your dad in his grief is acting in ways I can’t condone.”
“Elise,” I muttered, sucking down a long swig of beer and swallowing it deep.
“They threw rocks at her, John,” Iris whispered. “She was leaving, and they threw rocks at her back, said it’s okay ‘cause they stoned whores to death in the Bible. She fell to her knees, pregnant, and they said it was the best place for a whore.”
I closed my eyes, and my chest began heaving as I sucked air into my burning lungs. “Who?” I muttered, jaw ticking. “Who threw the rocks.”
Abe gave me a wry look. “Seth.”
“He’s a dead man walkin’,” I bit out through clenched teeth. “He got his warnin’. Now, he’ll get his punishment. But this time, the knife’ll be in his heart.”
“How’s Elise?” Iris asked quietly.
Tears sprang to my eyes, and my chest tightened painfully. “Not mine anymore.”
Abe”s hand reached out, curled around my neck, and he tugged me to him, arms enclosing me in a man hug. “I’m sorry, Son.”
I grunted; the pain unbearable.
“Get him inside, baby,” Iris ordered gently. “He needs something stronger than beer. He can crash here tonight.”
Abe took me into the house and sat me on the couch while he took the chair opposite. I sat forward, elbows to knees, holding my head in my hands, wretched and lost.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m ravaged, Abe,” I croaked. “Spent months in captivity. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought of comin’ home to my Leesy. Finally get here and I find out my dad and the men I grew up respecting abused and frightened her while she was pregnant. And I wonder why she left me.”
“Bandit knew the baby wasn’t yours,” Abe muttered. “It was why he was so angry. He said he’d had a bad night without you and Connie, so he partied. Was still drunk the next mornin’ when Elise turned up, swollen belly and all, and he lost his shit.”
“No excuse,” I muttered through the feel of my heart withering away. “I would’ve taken the kid on, Abe. Would’ve loved it ‘cause it was part of her. But she just stood outside her big mansion, next to her Porsche, and told me in no uncertain terms that she was done, the club and everything in it were animals, and she wanted no part of it, or me.”
“She loved you, John,” Abe murmured. “Whatever you think, don’t lose sight of that.”
I just shrugged because what could I say?
“When you died, she died too,” he continued. “I saw it with my own eyes, she was a walking corpse. Her dad, you, then Connie fucked with her head. Heard all sorts at the time. When she was told you died, they found her down the creek, laying on ice, mutterin’ how she wanted to die too. They had to take her to hospital and warm her up. After the business with Bandit, they found her down there again, sitting in the snow where we set up that picnic for you both, pregnant and clinging to that damned tree.”
My head bowed, and I ripped at my hair. “Fuck!”
“Don’t give up, John,” Abe said softly.
“She already has,” I retorted. “She married him, and they’ve got a kid. I love her and always will, but she betrayed me. I get she was lonely when I was away, but I thought what we had was enough. Now, all this has happened with the club. It’s nailed the coffin closed, at least for her.” I looked at him bleakly. “She’s given everything she promised me, to him, Abe. How am I supposed to live with that?”
He sighed and nodded. “I know, Son.”
My heart clenched painfully. “She was my Connie. My Iris. Mine. Now she’s his and it’s something I have to somehow learn to live with.”
Abe stared into space, deep in thought. “All I can suggest is that you put your energy into somethin’ else. Clean that fuckin’ club up, John. Turn it around and make it something you can be proud of.”
My eyes met Abe’s. “Need your help, brother. Don’t leave.”
“John,” he said quietly. “Don’t ask it of me, please—”
I held my hand up to stop him. “Just hear me out.”
Abe’s lips thinned frustratedly, but he rolled his eyes and called out, “Rissy!”
She poked her head around the door. “Yeah?”
He craned his neck and grinned at her. “Don’t pretend you haven’t been standing behind the door listening to every word. Get your sweet ass in here. This is as much your decision as mine.”
She giggled and swanned over, parking her ass on the arm of Abe’s chair. “Busted,” she whispered, leaning down and kissing his head.
Abe’s hand slid onto his woman’s thigh. Then, meeting my stare, he said, “Shoot.”
“Gonna leave here, go to the club, and fuck shit up, including Dad and Seth. Want you by my side.”
Abe smirked. “That I can do.”
“We’re gonna start moving in for a takeover. I wanna take the club legit. Get rid of the deadweight who are only interested in free weed, pussy, and booze, look at moving the compound to the warehouse, and open the auto shop. I wanna get the word out that we take ex-military with skills. In return, they get a home, brotherhood, jobs that pay well, and security. We’ll phase out the guns and weed gradually, and any brothers who protest too much can get phased out with ‘em. Won’t lie, dunno how long it’ll take, maybe years, but it’ll be done.”
Abe leveled me with a stare before glancing at Iris. “What do you think, baby?”
She rolled her lips, feeling the idea out for a few seconds. “I like it. And if anyone can do it, it’s you and John.”
“You’ll be my number two, Abe,” I added. “None of this enforcer shit. Eventually, I want you to run it with me, by my side, as a team. You’re my voice of reason.” My stare slid to Iris. “Need you, too, sweetheart. We need a new Connie. A woman who’s got a lotta love and care to give, someone strong who can run the whores and take care of the place but still has a soft touch. The club needs a heartbeat, Iris. Always thought it would be—” I took a breath, tamping down the wave of emotion threatening to eat me whole, but somehow I kept it together. “Now I know it’s you. You’re who Mom would’ve chosen.”
Sadness filled her blue eyes. “I’m not sure I want to take her place. Some shoes are impossible to fill. I know it should’ve been Elise, John. I’m so sorry.”
I jerked my chin, throat so tight with unspent pain, I couldn’t speak.
Iris and Abe stared at each other for a beat while they conversed silently.
Taking a breath, I steeled myself.
After a long pause, Ris’s eyes met mine again. My gut jerked when I saw her sadness had been replaced with an iron determination that wasn’t there before. “We’ll try it your way, John. See how it goes, yeah?”
My breath left my lungs, and my shoulders slumped. “Thank you.”
“You know this won’t be easy?” Abe pointed out. “The brothers have a way of life they’ll cling onto by their damned fingertips. Bandit’s made himself and the boys rich beyond their wildest dreams,” he swept an arm out, “point in case. I bought this place outright with only two months” earnings. They won’t wanna give it up.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “I can’t compete with that kinda money but look at the shit that’s their lives. Personally, I think we can live large by working hard and staying mostly on the right side of the law. We’ve got six brothers in the clink, the Sheriff breathing down our necks to the point where we walk on eggshells daily. The lifestyle’s rotten at best. I’m banking on the boys bein’ ready for some clean.”
Abe shrugged. “Some will, some won’t.”
“So they take early retirement,” I declared. “I don’t give a fuck. The club’s mine, my legacy, mine to mold into what I want. If they don’t like it, they can get the fuck out.”
Abe’s lips twitched. “And the boy becomes a man before our very eyes.” He looked at Iris again and nodded toward me. “See this, Rissy? You’re witnessing history in the makin’.”
Iris’s gaze darted between us, and she beamed.
“How ‘bout we get our asses down the club. I got some skulls to crack.”
Abe jumped to his feet and let out a loud hoot. “Lemme grab my cut.”
“Brother,” I called out.
He halted.
“There’s gonna be bloodshed. Somebody could die.”
His blue eyes turned on me, and his mouth twisted with determination. “I’ve got your back, brother.”
And you know what? I never realized then how true that statement would be, because Abe did have my back.
For evermore.
The deafening sound of gunshots splintered the air as I fired two off at the barn. A sense of satisfaction filled my chest as I watched the old, rotten wood fly off in tiny shards, pinging through the ether.
Within seconds the door flew open, and men filled the parking lot, some with whores plastered to their sides.
“Where is he?” I bit out, my jaw clenched so tightly it ached.
As if on cue, Dad came sauntering out of the barn, no shirt, jeans undone, and Tammi under his arm. “You only had to call, boy—”
Another gunshot filled the air. Dad cursed as a bullet whizzed past his ear, followed by another. The second one landed precisely where intended; proven by my dad, taking a step back and dropping to his knees.
Turning slightly, I clicked on the safety before tossing my Glock to Abe, who caught it with one hand. My head swiveled back to my father, who looked up at me blank-faced, his hand crossing his chest to press on the gunshot wound on his shoulder.
“Knees are the best place for ya,” I snarled pointedly. “Whores belong on their knees.”
Silence fell over the yard, apart from the sounds of boots on the gravel as men shuffled their feet nervously.
Dad’s stare slid to Abe, and one side of his mouth hitched slightly. “Thought it’d take a few days for you to rat me out.”
“Got no loyalty toward men who bully pregnant teenage girls,” Abe spat.
Dad’s eyes slid back to mine. “I regret doin’ it, Son. Mind wasn’t right. Lost you, lost your ma. Lost everythin’. Took it out on the wrong person. A man can admit when he’s wrong.”
“You gonna repent?” I demanded, jerking my chin toward his wound. “You gonna take that like a man? Or you gonna carry this bullshit on and gimme a reason to put the next one in your brain?”
Dad’s face split into a wide grin, and he clambered to his feet. “See that, boys?” he yelled. “Spoken like a true prez. You’ll be in safe hands when I join my Connie.”
I looked around the place, lip curling at the god-awful state of it. “We’ve never had a VP, seein’ as your ‘prez’”—I spat—“likes runnin’ the show solo. That changes. As of now, the Speed Demons have a new VP, and it’s yours truly.” My stare swung to KC. “You said you’d look out for her.”
His gaze slashed toward Dad. “Was on a run with Abe. Made my negative feelin’s known when I got back.”
My tone lowered. “Glad to hear that. You like crackin’ skulls, doncha brother?”
He jerked one nod.
“You and Abe are role-swapping,” I announced. “You’re our new Enforcer. It’s where your talents lie and where we can use you most. Abe’s the new Sergeant at Arms. He sets the rules, and he enforces the rules. Seems to me that you men have lost sight of what this club stands for. Abe’s gonna remind ya.”
KC smirked. “Gotcha.”
“Take tonight, mull it over, and pick two men for your backup enforcers,” I ordered.
He grinned.
“I’m hittin’ the road for the next month,” I revealed. “While I’m gone, I want this place cleaned to a standard that my ma would’ve approved of. Abe’s gonna come in, give you orders, which you’re gonna follow. If you don”t like those orders, use the fuckin’ door. When I get back, we’re gonna start working on the new compound. We’re gonna build somewhere clean and decent, somewhere we can be proud of. We’re also gonna take every penny from the coffers and start investing in local businesses. Anyone with a decent plan will get an investment. I want many fingers in many pies. The weed ain’t as lucrative as it once was, so we’re gonna meet with the Sinners and hand it over to them. They can take the risk for not much reward, and it’ll shut ‘em up for a while.”
“You’re makin’ a mistake, boy,” Dad almost sang.
“Maybe,” I retorted. “But it’s mine to make.”
He gave a nonchalant shrug with his good shoulder. “Was thinkin’ about offloading it anyway. There’s no money in that shit anymore. Guns are where it’s at. War’s been big business. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry wanna defend their homes.” He gave a decisive nod. “I approve.”
“Wouldn’t give a fuck if you didn’t,” I snarled, eyes moving through the crowd. “Now. Where the fuck is that scrotum Seth?”
The crowd slowly parted to reveal the little pissant standing pale-faced at the back.
I jerked my chin, a silent order.
Slowly, Seth heaved a breath, set his shoulders back, and walked until he stood in front of me.
“You know what you did?” I asked, tone flat.
He glared at me and nodded.
“Final decree,” I yelled. “From this day forward, we protect ol’ ladies. I don’t care if you married a bitch who you now hate. Fact is, it was your choice to make. Live with it or divorce her. Getting your dick wet by anyone other than your wives will be frowned upon in the new clubhouse. If you wanna do that shit, take it elsewhere.”
Mutters rose up among the crowd.
“Abe’s ol’ lady, Iris, will be sortin’ out cleanin’, kitchens, and stock. The club girls will help. If she tells you bitches to clean, you clean. That extends to cooking, laundry, and gardening. Hell, if she tells you to hop on one foot while singing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’, you obey. In return, I’ll provide living quarters and pin money. The more chores you carry out, the more you earn. What you do on your back is up to you, but I’ll make it clear now, you ain’t gettin’ paid to fuck—you do that on your own time—your gettin’ paid to be maids. You also clean yourselves up. Bathing and grooming have just become part of your job description. Health checks are compulsory and will be carried out every few months, paid for by the club. Congratulations, ladies, you just scored yourself jobs with health insurance included. If you don’t like it, walk now. No hard feelings.”
I turned my back on Seth, slipped off my leather jacket, and handed it to a grinning Abe.
“We fight this out, and it’s done, over. You were told what would happen if you disrespected my ol’ lady again. I’ll admit to you all right now, she’s not my ol’ lady anymore, but she was when she no doubt swallowed every ounce of pride she possessed and came to you, pregnant, for help. You did worse than turn your back on her; you abused her. It stops with us now, Seth.”
He bowed his head, shamed.
Pulling my fist back, I swung and smashed it into his jaw, thanking God it was my left arm and shoulder injured.
Seth went down.
My skin felt too tight to contain my blood and bones. Everything was jarring; the light was too bright, the sounds too loud. The past months reared up before me. Enlisting, leaving, deployment, Kuwait. Losing Mom and Elise, then losing myself, and the red mist turned bloodthirsty.
Grief and pain gripped my chest, and I roared, desperate to get it out.
Jeers filled the parking lot, the men voicing their excitement at the prospect of some bloodlust. Shouts of encouragement, aimed toward Seth and me, rang out with demands to punch harder.
I leaned down, grabbed his hair, and dragged him to his feet. My fists pummeled bone, causing a crunch that made my stomach clench with satisfaction.
Seth tried to fight back, and a loose punch hurtled toward the side of my face. I ducked left and jabbed his throat.
He turned his head to the side and spat blood and maybe a tooth. “Fuckin’ asshole,” he panted.
I bounced on the balls of my feet and thrust another jab in his kidneys, and deafening bellows went up from the brothers.
I pulled my fists up in front of my face and punched repeatedly. The last pummel hit him square on the temple. His eyes rolled, and he let out a quiet groan, sinking to the ground.
Shouts and cries filled the air as I methodically began to kick. I was so caught up in the red mist that I couldn’t stop. Emotion rushed through my chest. I had to get the pain out, and the only way I knew how was through violence.
Visions of Leesy floated behind my eyes, taking over my mind and body. I kicked and snarled like a wild animal, doing everything I could to dispel the pain in my fucked-up soul. My sense of awareness didn’t exist. It was me and her and the ache that I knew I’d feel every time I breathed too deep, because she’d left a void so deep, I knew I’d never plug it.
She was the love of my life, and I’d lost her.
Suddenly, hands grabbed me and hauled me backward. Awareness came rushing back with a whoosh, and I stared, stunned at the bloody mess of a man on the ground before me.
A cold realization smashed into my chest.
Elise was gone.
It was done.
Over.
And I knew I was about to break into pieces.
Scrambling to my feet, I staggered toward Abe, holding my bloody hands out imploringly. “Get me outta here. Please.”
He took one look at me and leaped into action, bundling me into his truck. He ran around to the driver’s seat and jumped in, shooting me a worried glance. “Stay at our place tonight, Stone,” he crooned softly, as if appeasing a wild animal as he started the engine. “You’re gonna be okay. Everything will be okay.”
We peeled out of there like the Devil himself was on our tail, and as I stared sightlessly at the scenery flashing past, I knew one thing down to my bones.
Nothing would ever be okay again.
Life without her would be agony.