Chapter 15
ALEX
Alex’s resolve to find solace with his friends downstairs slowly crumbled with each passing second. Raven’s text had sent a surge of emotions through him—anger, disgust, and everything in between.
He’d tossed his phone away, intending to take a moment to collect himself before he went downstairs.
Had Raven been the one responsible for Ava’s death? Was he planning to use it now to torment Alex or maybe to bring him to his side?
Either way, Alex wanted no parts of it.
He grabbed the phone again, intent on blasting the man with a vicious message designed to gut him, but as he thought it through, he realized the only one who would be gutted was himself.
Maybe Kyle would have a suggestion for how to deal with it…or Julia.
Neither option prompted him to move off the bed, though.
There was only one person whose suggestions he would trust. Ava’s. And right now, Ava couldn’t help him.
Ava was…
His mind couldn’t finish the statement. He shook his head, grief swirling inside him again as he struggled to maintain his composure.
Reaching for Ava’s pillow, he ran his hand along the silky fabric. “Avs…”
The simple word had him bursting into sobs again, and he buried his face in the pillowcase, drinking in the lingering scent of her on the fabric.
His mind went through the standard litany of questions that now plagued him. Why had this happened? Could he have changed it?
Before he could process much more, exhaustion kicked in. He drifted off to a dreamless sleep, unable to stay awake with the crushing grief pressing down around him.
When he woke, he found evening approaching and a note on his nightstand.
Glad you got some sleep. I hope it helps. We’ll be right downstairs if you need anything. J
He stared at the note for a moment, trying to find comfort in the words, but only finding more sorrow. While he appreciated Julia and her new family rallying around him, he didn’t want a single one of them.
Only one person could have eased his pain, and that person was the source of it.
Ava had been tragically ripped from his life, and no one would replace her.
He heard the trite little sayings being repeated to him at any memorial I would hold for her already. “It feels like that now, but you’ll heal. You’ll find someone else.”
But he wouldn’t. Ava was one-of-a-kind. She couldn’t be replaced. He’d never find another Ava, ever.
The agonizing reality crushed him along with a slight headache that heralded his need to eat.
He wondered if he could trouble Julia to bring it upstairs.
He just couldn’t face seeing Grant and Sierra right now.
Even Julia and Kyle pushed his limits, but the other two he didn’t know well enough to feel comfortable displaying his obvious upset.
He grabbed his phone to send her a text when he spotted a new message from Raven on his screen.
Anger bubbled up inside him, sending his pulse racing at the mere sight of his name. This marked the last straw. He couldn’t take anymore. He tapped on the message, insistent on sending something nasty back to him.
His trembling thumbs hovered over the virtual keyboard as his eyes scanned Raven’s latest message. You need to meet me at the old resort. We’re two ships weathering the same storm.
Alex shook his head and started to type back that he’d never meet him when he froze. Two ships weathering a storm?
His mind immediately went to the painting Ava had bought and hung downstairs. “It reminded me of us, Ace. Two ships weathering the same storm,” she said.
He stared at the words for another aching beat of his heart, wondering why Raven had said them. It seemed like a message from Ava.
He glanced upward as though he’d find her hovering above him with a pair of angel wings and a halo. Instead, he only spotted his ceiling, and he returned his gaze to the odd text.
Was this some sort of sign that he should meet with Raven?
He pondered it for another second before a knock sounded at his door. “Yeah?”
Julia poked her head in. “Hey, Alex, you’re awake. Did you see my note?”
“I did, thanks. I was just about to text and ask if you wouldn’t mind bringing some food up to me. I’m sorry, I’m just not up to sitting around the dinner table just yet.”
“Aw, well, we’ll miss you, but we certainly understand,” Julia said with a nod. “I’m just a little worried about you having to eat all alone. How about if Kyle or I join you?”
“It’s really okay,” he answered. “I’m just not up for company, really. Especially with Grant. I’m sorry. I know you love him, Sunshine, but…”
“You’d like to grieve privately. I get it. It’s okay. I’ll bring you some food, spend a little time with you, and you can kick me to the curb when you’re ready.”
He pressed his lips together into a grateful smile. “Thanks, Sunshine. You really are the best.”
With a soft smile, she bobbed her head and left him behind. He immediately returned to his display, staring at the message, his heart pounding.
The urge to get to this meeting overcame him. He didn’t know why, but he took the words as some sort of sign of what he should do. Maybe Raven could help him avenge Ava’s death.
But how could he get out of the house? Kyle and Julia would never let him go alone. But Raven’s first message had said to come alone.
He fretted over it until the door popped open again. Julia pushed inside with a tray filled with a variety of foods. “I didn’t know what you’d feel like eating, but I put a little bit of everything, and you can just pick at what you want.”
“Gosh, Julia,” Alex said with a smile, “this is really nice of you.”
He didn’t have much of an appetite, but he needed to eat. Especially if he was going to engage with Raven. He did his best to stuff down a sandwich and some Jello as she sat with him.
She didn’t bring up anything about Ava or her funeral, instead, focusing on a sparing amount of light conversation about who prepared the food.
“Thanks, Julia,” he said again as he pushed the tray away. “I actually feel a lot better. Well, not better…I mean…I’m still…”
His features tightened as he struggled to find the words, grief clouding his thoughts.
“I know, Alex,” she said, gently rubbing his arm. “But the food will at least give you some strength, I hope.”
He pressed his lips together with a bob of his head. “Yeah. I’m…trying. It’s not easy. I just want to curl into a ball and not face anything.”
“I know. When our parents died, Ally and I felt the same way. It’s hard, and grief is something that leaves a lasting mark. It doesn’t ever really heal, it just gets easier to deal with.”
The words made his stomach twist into a tight knot. He didn’t want things to get easier to deal with. He didn’t want life without Ava to be easy to deal with.
With a hard swallow, he nodded. His voice trembled a little. “I’m pretty sure this is going to leave a real painful mark.”
Julia squeezed his hand, her features pinching. “I know, Alex. I’m so sorry. Nothing I say is going to make it any better, but you’re not alone.”
“I know. And I’m really grateful that you’re all right downstairs. I just…right now, I need some time so I’m not a blubbering mess.”
“It’s okay if you are,” she said. “We all understand what you’re facing. We’re not going to blame you for falling apart at even the slightest thing. I know that with my parents, a laundry commercial got me.”
“Gosh, Sunshine… I’m so sorry that you lost them both at such a young age.”
“Yeah,” she said with a slight smile. “Thanks, Alex. It’s still hard, even today. I mean, things happen, and you don’t get to share it with that special person. You know? Like, my mom never saw Alicia get married–or me.”
Alex nodded as he thought of all the things he’d never experience with Ava. No more kisses, no more beach walks, no more Christmases. He couldn’t even sneak onto her webcam to see her.
He’d lost everything. And he wasn’t certain how he would deal with that.
“I’m sorry. I’ve upset you more.”
“It’s not hard to do that these days,” he said, tears glistening in his eyes. “But I think I’m going to be bold and get out of this bed.”
Julia grinned at him as she rose and lifted the tray. “Going to spend some time downstairs with us? We can game, put on a movie…whatever you want.”
“Actually, umm, I was going to go for a walk on the beach. Just…get out of the house, get out of this bed, clear my mind.”
Julia shifted her weight, concern etching into her delicate features. “Oh, umm, well that sounds great. I can come with you. Or Kyle would be happy to, I’m sure.”
“That’s really kind, but I kind of just want to go alone. I’m sure I’m going to cry,” he said with a forced laugh. “And I’d really like to do that alone.”
“Alex, no one is judging you. I fully expect you to fall apart. But I can be a shoulder for you to cry on.”
Alex offered her a fleeting smile. “I appreciate it, Julia. But I really want to do this alone.”
Julia studied him for a moment before she bobbed her head. “Okay. You’re an adult. But please take your phone and if you need anything, call or text. I can run right out, and we can sit in the sand and just talk or…say nothing, just listen to the sound of the waves crashing.”
“Thanks, Sunshine,” he answered as he slid his phone into pocket and tugged on a hoodie.
He followed her downstairs, ducking out the front door to avoid the Harringtons in his living room. He circled around the house and headed for the beach, hurrying down the sand to make it to the beach resort.
A glance at his watch showed that he’d be late. He cursed under his breath, quickening his pace until he arrived at the old resort property.
He slowed his steps, puffing for breath as his eyes darted around in search of Raven.
He found no one. With a sigh, he shook his head. He’d been too late. The man hadn’t waited.
With his phone in his hand, he started to type a message, telling his aviary ally that he’d arrived and apologizing for being late.
Before he finished it, a robotic voice sounded behind him. “You’re late.”