Jackson
By the time I get a ride to take me back to the hotel, I'm too exhausted to do anything. I didn’t drink a lot, but I drank too much to drive and I know it.
I won't put my life or the lives of others into jeopardy just because I wanted to go home. I’ll stay here tonight and leave in the morning.
I need to put distance between Harper and me as fast as possible.
It doesn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep. The alcohol definitely helps with that too. I welcome the sleepiness. As long as I'm dead to the world, I don’t need to think about losing her. Or how my life will change over the next few weeks without her in it.
At some point, someone knocks on my door, but I don’t feel like getting out of bed. They can knock all they want. I'm used to sleeping just about anywhere and they won't be able to bother me.
I slip further under my blanket and close my eyes. At least when I'm asleep, I won’t keep replaying the night over and over again in my head.
As soon as I wake up, I toss my things into my bag and zip it shut. The faster I can get home and put this weekend behind me, the better off I’ll be.
I'm almost packed and ready to leave when there’s a knock. I peek through the hole and find Harper standing on the other side. She’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants. She looks so much like the girl I fell in love with. The one I never stop thinking about.
I nibble on my bottom lip, trying to decide if I want to open the door or not. I could pretend I'm not here. She’d leave eventually…
“Jackson! Please open the door.” Her voice is barely loud enough for me to hear through the closed door. “I know you’re mad, but I want to explain things to you.”
I open my mouth to tell her it doesn’t matter, but that’s dumb. It does matter. She hurt me by not telling me she was engaged. She probably went home with him last night and got him ice for his eye.
“C’mon, Jackson! You ignored me last night when I came here. Please don’t ignore me now. I need you.”
As soon as she says she needs me, I know I'm fighting a losing battle. I’ll never turn her away when she needs me.
Without a word, I open the door and take a step back to let her come in.
She watches me carefully. She’s not sure where my head is at and I feel terrible about that. I’ve never lost my cool in front of her and I'm angry about what happened last night.
“You can’t ignore me, Jackson. I can’t handle that,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears.
“I wasn’t really ignoring you. I was sleeping. I vaguely remember someone knocking on the door, but I was too tired to get up. It had nothing to do with you.” I run a hand through my hair. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I'm supposed to act around her right now.
“I called you and texted you.”
“I know… I just… I needed time to think.”
She steps further into the room and eyes my packed bag. She squeezes her eyes shut and when she opens them again, there’s hurt staring back at me.
“You were leaving.”
“Yeah, I was,” I whisper, dropping my gaze to the floor. I won't lie to her.
I want to pull her into my arms and fix things between us, but I'm not sure that’s a good idea. Maybe this weekend is the push I need to walk away from Harper and never look back.
“But you said you’d be here for the whole weekend. You promised we’d spend the entire time together… And you’re just going to leave?”
“C’mon, Boots. You don’t want me here. Your fiancé doesn’t want me here. I'm just getting in the way.”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” She shakes her head. She stares out the window, looking like her mind is a mile away. “You don’t understand anything.”
“Then why don’t you help me understand because I feel like I'm drowning right now!” My voice comes out louder and harsher than I intend for it to. I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes shut. “I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you though.”
When I open my eyes, Harper’s watching me. She’s taking in every detail of my face. Every clench of my jaw. Every emotion I'm trying to hide from her.
“Can you give me an hour to explain everything? Can we go on a hike and get everything out in the open?”
“If that’s what you want, sure.”
“That’s what I need.”
“Ok. Let me get changed and we can go.”