Chapter 54 Vin
Vin
The second I walk into that hospital room and see Sophie holding Siena’s baby, I can’t fucking breathe. She’s so fucking beautiful with her hair pulled back, still in her scrubs from helping with the delivery, tears streaming down her face as she cradles the tiny thing against her chest.
Emilia Sophia, named after Siena’s sister and of course Sophie.
My throat tightens watching her rock the baby, whispering something I can’t hear. She looks like she was born to do this, like holding that baby is the most natural thing in the world.
When Siena makes the comment about them both being pregnant I almost lose my fucking mind. Pregnant? With my baby?
When Sophie sees me, I know she’s reading my mind. She cleans it up quickly, makes it clear: she’s not pregnant.
But it hits me: the birth control. Fuck. I had Dr. Rossi replace her birth control pills with placebos, before I knew her father was innocent, before the Irish contract. And it’s been over a month since I last fucked her, which means that I didn’t succeed in breeding her the way I wanted.
It also means that if she fucks someone else, she could end up with his baby.
The thought makes me want to put my fist through the wall.
“Vin?” Matti’s voice cuts through the haze. “You good?”
I’m not good. I’m the furthest thing from good.
I need to know if she’s seeing anyone, if she’s let anyone touch her since me. The idea of another man’s hands on her body—FUCK.
Sophie catches me staring. For a second, something flickers in her eyes, I don’t fucking know what, before she hands the baby back to Siena and moves toward the door.
She won’t look at me as she leaves and Matti is calling me to hold the baby, but I intercept Sophie in the hallway instead.
“We need to talk.”
She doesn’t look at me. “No, we don’t.”
“Sophie—”
“Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to hear it.” Her voice is edged with steel. She tries to step around me, and I grab her arm.
“Are you fucking anyone?”
She jerks back like I slapped her, her big brown eyes going wide.
“Excuse me?”
“Simple question. Yes or no.”
Her jaw tightens. “That’s none of your business.”
“It is my fucking business if—” I cut myself off, aware of how insane I sound. “Just answer the question.”
“Fuck off, Vin.” I’m so shocked at hearing a curse word come out of her mouth that when she yanks her arm free, I let her. “Who I fuck is none of your concern.”
The casual way she says who I fuck makes something feral rear up inside me. My hands curl into fists.
“Sophie, I’m not playing games right now. I need to know—”
“You need to know?” She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “You need to know if I’m sleeping with someone?”
Giovanna’s door opens, and Tommy stumbles out, shoving his hands through his hair, making it wild, his eyes bright. “They’re here! A boy and a girl! Holy shit!”
He doubles over for a second but then pops back up, almost laughing and crying at the same time. I’ve never seen my brother like this. Inside, one of the twins is crying.
I pull him into a hug and clap him on the back. “Congratulations, man. So fucking happy for you guys.” I press a kiss into the top of his head as he hugs me back tightly. I honestly cannot remember the last time we hugged like this.
When he pulls back, his eyes are shining, and he’s got the biggest grin on his face. I’m genuinely happy for him. And so fucking jealous at the same time.
When he goes back in to Giovanna and the babies, I turn to Sophie.
“Can we talk somewhere private?” I force the words through gritted teeth.
“You didn’t think it was prudent to speak to me privately when you were making it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me.” Her eyes flash. “In front of all our friends at Siena’s birthday party, remember?”
“Sophie—” I reach for her again.
“Don’t.” She backs away. “Don’t touch me. Don’t ask me about my personal life. Don’t pretend you care who I’m with or what I’m doing. You lost that right.”
“There was no fucking choice!” The words explode out of me as I grab her shoulders and shove her up against the wall. “You have no fucking idea—”
“VIN!”
Siena screaming my name cuts me off, and I turn just as Matti comes barreling out of the room. His fist connects with my jaw before I have time to think, pain exploding through my skull.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Matti grinds the words in my ear. Tommy appears, grabbing my arms before I can retaliate. “Knock it the fuck off.”
I shake him off, but Tommy’s grip tightens. “Easy, Vin.”
“Get your hands off me.” My eyes never leave Sophie. She’s pressed against the wall, looking at me like I’m a fucking stranger.
Maybe I am.
“Vin.” Tommy’s voice is low, warning. “You’ve got to walk away, man.”
I know I should. But I can’t. I need to know who she’s with, if it’s possible she’s pregnant. I need to tell her about the pills.
But I can’t. Not in front of everyone. They all hate me enough.
I yank free of Tommy’s hold and raise my hands. “I’m fine. Just fuck off.”
The hallway is silent except for the twins still crying and the steady beep of monitors. Everyone’s staring out into the hall: Siena in her room holding Emilia, Giovanna in her room with one baby in her arms and Dr. Rossi holding the other one.
I drop heavily into a chair in the corner, accept the water bottle Tommy shoves at me even though what I really need is whiskey.
Sophie goes back into Siena’s room, and I watch through the open door as she takes Emilia again, settling into the chair by the bed. She’s smiling, cooing at the baby, like the last five minutes never happened.
She won’t look at me.
Matti appears in front of me, blocking my view. “You want to tell me what the hell that was about?”
I take a long drink, saying nothing.
“Vin.” He sits down, lowering his voice. “You can’t do this. You made your choice. You have to let her go.”
“I know that.”
“Then what—”
“I said I know.” I scrub a hand over my face, feeling the throb in my jaw where he hit me. “Just drop it.”
He studies me for a long moment, then shakes his head. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”
He doesn’t know about the marriage contract yet. But after seeing how he gave up everything for Siena, I don’t think he’d understand even if I told him. But he has that luxury. He’s the underboss. I’m the fucking boss of the Demonio Brotherhood. I can’t just do what I want.
He stands and heads back to Siena’s room. A moment later, he returns with Emilia in his arms.
“Here.” He deposits the baby carefully in my arms. “Hold your niece.”
The tiny weight settles against my chest, and I freeze. She’s so fucking small. Breakable. Her face is scrunched up, eyes open, blinking blindly one tiny fist curled against her cheek.
She has Siena’s eyes. Big and dark and impossibly innocent. Eyes like Sophie’s.
One day soon I’ll have a baby of my own with Ashlyn. A baby with green eyes and auburn hair and nothing of Sophie in them at all. The thought makes me want to throw up.
I hand Emilia back to Matti, carefully, trying to give him the support he deserves. “She’s beautiful, bro. Congratulations.”
But he’s staring at the baby, his eyes as bright and shiny as Tommy’s.
Through the doorway, I watch Sophie stroke the baby’s cheek as Matti holds her, her smile soft and sad and so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at. I slip out while everyone is busy, leaving them to their happiness, so I can head out and slaughter my own.