Colin #2
“We’re going back to the outpost, not to jail,” he pointed out. “And we’re running out of sunlight.”
“I know,” I said, leaning back to catch a beam of fading sunlight.
“But we left our phones behind to have a few hours of peace, without work. Only way for them to get hold of us is through the emergency channel. So it just feels like…I don’t know, the first time since I came to the outpost where I’m close to having real time off. ”
“You can just…ask for time off. The guys do it all the time,” he told me wryly.
“True, but I’ve been here a month, feels kinda weird to take official time off.
Plus, it would be my luck that I’d take a weekend off and Jake would roll an ATV or Reno would fall out of a tree,” I said, thinking of the multiple times I’d caught him high up a tree.
I didn’t know if his love of trees and climbing was because of his work, or if his love of his work was born from his love of trees and nature, with the climbing a byproduct.
“I know the feeling,” he said, looking at the ground. “Last time I took time off was for court.”
I looked sideways at him. “And the time before that?”
“Mmm, court.”
“Jesus, and before that?”
“Uh, surgery on my knee.”
“Right,” I said, mind flashing to his medical file. “When was the last time you had a day off for you?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yeah, Xander, it matters. Just because a significant part of your life has fallen apart and the pieces are still occasionally dropping doesn’t mean you should hide forever and forget what it’s like to be a person.”
“I’m a person,” he said, and I smiled at his offense.
“You are. The problem is, I think you’ve forgotten it. When were you yourself with someone else?”
He stared at me. “I’m friends with Cait, have been for years.”
“True,” I said with a nod. “Alright, maybe I’m being too fussy. You have her, though you might want to remember that before she shows up randomly again. I can go a night in my bed so you two can have your gossip sessions.”
“We don’t…” he began, and then rolled his eyes. “Never mind, I know better than to argue when you’ve got that stupid smile on your face. It’s just going to end with me getting pissed off.”
“Like you don’t end up pissed off most of the time anyway,” I said as I popped the last bit of the cone and ice cream into my mouth.
“I’m serious, by the way. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love visiting you at night and yes, even though the first time a couple of weeks ago was an accident, I love sleeping for a few hours with you too.
But that doesn’t mean you should forget about Cait or your friendship with her, alright?
Have a drinking night with her, I’ll spend the night thinking of you…
jerking off in the shower in your memory. ”
“Fuck off,” he said, but I didn’t miss the way he smiled as he turned away. “C’mon.”
Smiling, I followed him to the truck and hopped into the passenger side. He turned it on and looked at me. “I’ll ask her. Kinda surprised she hasn’t given me shit about doing something tonight.”
“Why?” I asked, rolling down the window so I could feel the wind on my skin. It was probably going to get cold about halfway back, but for as long as I could remember, I preferred fresh air to artificial heating or cooling.
I should have expected something when it took him a few minutes to grunt. “It’s my birthday.”
I let that settle for a couple of minutes before taking a deep breath. “Like…today?”
“I’m surprised you didn’t know, considering you have access to my file,” he said with a confused frown.
“You know, when I’m looking at your medical files, I’m looking for any red flags I need to keep an eye out for, any ya know, quote unquote maintenance that might need to be done, anything and everything that isn’t your birth date,” I told him, letting my hand bounce on the breeze as he picked up speed.
“Normally, people tell other people when their birthdays are.”
“I told you.”
“Uh-huh, and if our conversation hadn’t prompted you to tell me the truth, a truth you considered hiding, by the way, I noticed that, then when would you have mentioned it? Or would someone else at the outpost have mentioned it? Probably Cait, but still—”
“I don’t know.”
“Uh-huh. You’re something sometimes, Xander, just so you know.”
“I’ve been called worse.”
“I bet,” I said with a roll of my eyes and turning my attention back to the road as we drove further from the small patch of civilization we’d hung around for a few hours.
It was stupid to get my feelings hurt because he hadn’t told me it was his birthday. Some people didn’t like to make a big deal about their birthdays. He wasn’t the type to want attention; I knew that, so it fell right in line with the rest of his personality.
My annoyance came from unfair expectations; I knew that.
I might have a foot in the door to his inner world, but I couldn’t lie to myself and pretend it was more, or expect it to be more.
I’d just found my way into his life when his sexuality took a detour on him.
It made sense that would give me some glimpse into his life, his head, when I was the one actively participating in his self-discovery. That, however, didn’t mean—
“You too,” he grunted, so quietly it took me a moment to shake myself out of my thoughts and look at him.
“Huh?” I asked. It had been a little while since either of us had spoken, so I wasn’t sure what he was talking about.
He shifted in his seat, his lips thinning, and I watched him take a breath and speak up. “You asked when was the last time I was myself around someone else. You said Cait, and you were right.”
“Right,” I said slowly.
He looked pained when he said, “You too. I act like myself more around you…still an asshole though.”
“You are,” I said with a chuckle, squeezing his thigh. “But…thank you for telling me. I know being nice is weird for you.”
“Fuck off,” he said, but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch.
“I don’t know if it’s because you’re worried that being nice makes you look weak, or if it’s a vulnerability thing, but I know it’s difficult,” I said, giving another squeeze.
“Which is why I said, thank you. I bitched and moaned enough about you not trusting me with stuff, well, this is another thing you trusted me with. So fuck off, I’m going to thank you. ”
He shook his head, but his hand rested atop mine and stayed there as we drove.
It was one of those moments where there was no sexuality involved to prompt affection from him.
Hell, there had barely been any affection in the beginning and eventually only when there was sex for the taking.
Yet somewhere over the past week or two, I’d noticed he was slowly warming up to the idea of affection without the need for sexual contact.
It was a subtle, quiet thing, but I’d noticed it all the same, and it happened without warning.
Which, of course, meant irony had struck while the iron was hot, and I could feel myself sliding from affection into attraction.
It would be stupid to say that unaffected affection was a kink of mine, but it definitely was a turn-on.
My fingers slid over his thigh, and I slid over the seat closer to him.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked gruffly as my fingers slid over his groin and grabbed the button of his pants.
“I mean, I didn’t get you anything for your birthday,” I said, undoing his pants.
“You’re an idiot. I’m fucking driving. This is how people get killed.”
“Then slow down and try not to run over any animals. It’s not like we’re going to run into anyone out here, right?”
“I…this is stupid.”
“And yet you’re getting hard.”
‘Getting’ was only slightly accurate. Apparently he had been ‘getting’ hard when my hand had been on his thigh, either that or the threat of my sexual attention had got him hard in such record time I would have to be concerned if he hadn’t already been halfway there.
And apparently, he wasn’t upset with my idea, considering he scooted forward enough to give me room to fish him out of his pants.
“Hmm,” I said, taking in the sight of him. “I never tire of seeing this.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbled, but I could hear he was pleased before putting his hand on the back of my head and pushing me down.
Chuckling, I did as he bid and took him into my mouth.
Like usual, he filled my mouth, and I loved the feeling of him pressing against my tongue and then, with a bump in the road, jab the back of my throat.
It was a damn good time to appreciate that I’d lost my gag reflex years ago because the state of the road meant I was going to have his thick cock jammed down my throat more often.
Which, even with no gag reflex, wasn’t going to be the most comfortable of rides, but then I felt his fingers curl in my hair, and he made that growl he gave when he was enjoying himself.
That alone was enough for me not to care that I might end up with a sore throat for a day or so.
I could tell he had slowed the truck as well.
Which meant his attention was having a hard time staying on the road rather than the feel of him filling my throat.
It might have been stupid, but I couldn’t help but continue, going down until my nose pressed against his waist and I worked my throat steadily around him, making him moan again.
Groaning, because I knew the sound would vibrate down his shaft, I bobbed up and down as best I could until he shoved my head down again, burying himself in my throat as he thrust upward.
I should have expected it, but for a moment instinct kicked in and I felt a flash of panic as my breathing became difficult, and then he released me and I felt the truck slow, but the ride got rougher.