Chapter 14
Alex had texted Zoe again during the afternoon to let her know Billie was worse and that Louisa had such a runny nose, she could hardly breathe through it.
Though he didn’t say so, Zoe was convinced he’d only told her all this so she might magically appear at Hilltop, having forsaken her workload, to prop him up.
Perhaps, she reflected as she switched off her computer, having just sent off the referral for Ezra, that was unfair.
It wasn’t like Alex hadn’t had a life before her, where he’d had to cope with whatever problems came his way, and it wasn’t like Billie had never been poorly before.
It only felt that way, she persuaded herself, because she was a little unstable at the moment, and so everything seemed a bigger deal than it would normally.
Thinking this rationally didn’t mean she was fully convinced, and as she walked into the kitchen of Hilltop Farm to see Alex warming a bottle while Louisa yelled for it and Billie grunted instructions from the sofa in the living room, her instincts were to turn right round and leave.
‘Thank God you’re here!’ he cried. ‘Did you get the Calpol? And the paracetamol for Billie?’
‘Shit…’ She’d been so preoccupied with things at work, she had barely given his request a passing thought as she’d left. She’d meant to ask Shabana if there were any spare packs in the nurse’s office, and she’d clean forgotten. ‘I’ll go to the shop.’
‘You haven’t got them?’
‘I’ll go to the shop – it won’t take long.’
‘Zoe!’
‘I forgot! People forget things, you know!’
‘I know, but this was… You knew I was struggling up here! I’ve got all this to do and things for the campsite… and I told them I’d do—’
‘I think you’ll have to cancel all these social activities you’d planned with them,’ Zoe said tersely.
‘I can’t.’
‘Why not? You don’t have time and, quite honestly, do you really want to mix with them, considering the house is full of flu? Actually, I’m worried about passing it on to my mums.’
‘Go and stay somewhere else if we’re unclean.’
Zoe planted her hands on her hips. ‘There’s no need for that. I only meant I should be careful not to get too close to Louisa or Billie until they’ve stopped being infectious.’
‘Convenient.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Nothing.’
Zoe ground her teeth as she fought a reply that would almost certainly begin a row. ‘I have responsibilities beyond this house, you know.’
‘Nobody said you didn’t have. I’m snowed under here, and I’m sorry if I’m not at my happiest right now. It might have helped if you’d remembered the one thing I asked you to bring back with you.’
‘I’m sorry but I didn’t, and as I don’t have a time machine, I can’t change that. All I can do is what I offered, which is to go to the shop before it closes and get what you asked for. Although I’m sure you could have left Billie for ten minutes yourself and done that.’
‘She’s too ill to cope.’
‘So what have you done about work? You’ve been here all day and not done anything else?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It might have escaped your attention, but I’ve put a full day in today, and it hasn’t been an easy one.
So I’m deeply sorry if I forgot your paracetamol because I had important things going on of my own.
Some of us can’t just leave work whenever we want and go off to do other things; some of us have a schedule we need to stick to and people who expect us to be there. ’
‘I work for myself, but that doesn’t mean I get to please myself!’
‘More than I do. If you’d gone off to get tablets, nobody would have noticed.’
‘I’m sure Billie would.’
‘Stop bringing me into this!’ Billie yelled from the other room before erupting into a violent coughing fit.
Zoe turned towards the door, yanking it open, but before she could leave, Grizzle came from nowhere, dashed past her and out into the yard.
‘For God’s sake!’ Alex yelled as he gave chase. ‘The gate to the field is open!’
Zoe ran into the yard, and for what it was worth, she joined him in trying to catch Grizzle before he escaped. Dusk was creeping over the land, and he’d be that much harder to find in the dark, not to mention hassling the guests on the camping field and going after their resident rabbits again.
Alex commanded him to stop, and Zoe decided he must have sounded terrifying to Grizzle because even in his overexcited state, he halted immediately and turned to look with a whimper.
‘Yes…’ Alex growled as he marched over. ‘You should be worried because I’ve about had my fill!’
Alex grabbed his collar then led the dog back to the house. Zoe followed and, as Alex took Grizzle back in, she made for her car.
‘I’ll get that stuff,’ she said. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
Alex didn’t say a thing. He didn’t even thank her, and though Zoe wouldn’t have wanted any thanks, that riled her.
She swore under her breath the whole time as she drove down to the village, a wholly unreasonable anger swelling inside her the likes of which was so unfamiliar that if she’d been able to take a step back to look at herself, she’d have been shocked.
Barely making any conversation with a surprised Magnus, she got what she needed and was still boiling when she got back to Hilltop.
In the kitchen, she slapped the boxes of medication down onto the table.
‘I’m sorry,’ Alex said, and he truly looked it too as he fed Louisa.
Zoe wanted to accept his apology. She wanted to soften as she watched him.
His bad temper had come from a place of love and worry, and she knew that, but she couldn’t calm down.
It was like her pressure valve had burst. She couldn’t find the words she knew he needed to hear, and as she only had ones that would make things worse, she bit them back.
‘I’m going to see Georgia,’ she said as calmly as she could. ‘I won’t be long.’
Without waiting to see what his response would be, she left the house.
Zoe’s anger had long subsided by the time she pulled up outside Georgia’s house.
They hadn’t arranged to meet, but she was sure her friend would be in, and she desperately needed someone to talk to.
Now, instead of wanting to rant about Alex and his unreasonable demands, she feared she’d done irreparable damage to their relationship, all because she hadn’t been able to keep a lid on her emotions.
She knocked at the front door, and Emilia answered. ‘Zoe… we weren’t expecting you… I assume you’ve come to see Georgia, but she hasn’t said anything about—’
‘I was passing and I thought I’d call on the off chance. I did text her, but she must have forgotten to reply.’
‘She’s had her hands full with William, and Brett’s not very well, so…’
‘Oh. I suppose I ought to come back another time then. What’s wrong with Brett?’
‘He’s got this bug that’s been doing the rounds. I suppose we’ll all go down with it at some point, so it’s probably best if you don’t come in. I wouldn’t want to pass it on to you and yours.’
‘It’s too late for that,’ Zoe said ruefully. ‘I think Louisa and Billie already have it. Sounds like the same thing anyway.’
‘Ah. Then you’ll know it’s hardly fun. I’ll see you tomorrow, all being well.’
‘Yes. See you tomorrow.’
Emilia closed the door, and though Zoe could hardly complain, she was strangely adrift when she retraced her steps down the path and back to her car.
If ever there had been a moment when she needed a friend, it was this one, but it seemed she was going to have to work her issues out alone – at least for now.
Ottilie was out of action and so was Georgia, and there wasn’t anyone else Zoe felt she knew well enough to confide in.
For a moment, she considered going to see Corrine and Victor at Daffodil Farm.
They were the closest thing to parents that she had in Thimblebury and had always been kind to her.
But was this the sort of problem she could take to them?
Perhaps Corrine to a point would be able to sympathise, but she quickly decided it wasn’t fair to burden the couple.
They were fit and bright, yes, but in their early eighties and didn’t quite see the world in the same way as someone of her age.
They were a bit too practical as well. Zoe could well imagine one of them saying the magic phrase: pull yourself up by your bootstraps, or: you have to manage with the hand you’re dealt, or some other such platitude, and the way she was feeling right now, she wasn’t sure if that might make her explode all over again.
She needed someone far more neutral, someone who understood her and what she needed.
‘Hi, Zoe…’
She’d been fumbling in her bag for her car keys when she heard someone call her name. She looked up to see Simon and Stacey, hand in hand, passing Emilia’s house.
‘Hi. Out for a stroll?’
‘As the weather is warming up, we thought we’d start taking an after-dinner walk.
’ Stacey rolled her eyes and angled her head at Simon with a fondly mocking smile.
‘Mr Fitness here says it will help us digest our food and stop us getting GORD… whatever that is. I suppose it serves me right. I don’t know what I expected when I started dating a doctor, but I should have seen this coming. ’
Simon briefly indicated that he’d heard his girlfriend’s teasing, but his attention was on Zoe. ‘How are you doing?’ he asked.
Zoe glanced from him to Stacey, and she could tell that his partner was puzzled by the question. He’d have kept Zoe’s confidentiality, of that there was no doubt, and he would continue to do so, but he would have piqued Stacey’s interest, whether he knew it or not.
‘I’m fine. I came to see if Georgia fancied a chat, but apparently their house has the lurgy too.
I’m not sure there’ll be a house in Thimblebury without it by tomorrow morning.
Emilia told me it might be best if I stayed away, but as we’ve already got it at our house, I don’t suppose it will be long before I go down with it anyway. ’
‘Hopefully not.’
Zoe shrugged. ‘I’m resigned to my fate.’
Simon’s expression didn’t change, and yet Zoe had to wonder whether he’d detected the irony in her statement. Her fate, as they both knew, was far bigger than a flu bug. Whether she’d truly accepted it, though, was another matter – and even she didn’t really know the answer to that question.
‘If you’re not doing anything and you want some company,’ Stacey began, ‘you could always come over for a quick drink. I haven’t seen much of you lately, and it would be nice to catch up.’
Ordinarily, Zoe would have been tempted, but she suspected her current mood wouldn’t endear her to anyone.
She didn’t know Stacey in the way she knew Ottilie and Georgia, though she hoped one day she would – she didn’t want to jeopardise that by giving the impression she was often miserable and difficult.
‘I should probably get back to the infirmary to see how they’re all doing,’ she said, giving the brightest smile she could muster.
‘If you change your mind, we’ll be in for the rest of the night after we’ve finished our walk. Just pop down.’
Zoe thanked them, and as she watched them continue on their route, she wondered if she ought to have taken Stacey up on her offer.
She wouldn’t have been able to offload as she’d wanted to, but some company other than a tetchy Alex might have done her good.
Even as she allowed that thought to wander through her mind, however, she realised that it was probably wise to go home sooner rather than later.
She needed to clear the air if she could; leaving things to fester would only make matters worse.