Chapter 25 #3
She smiled as she watched all the children walk with careful steps, making regular checks on their animals in much the same way as their foster parents were doing with them.
She’d understood on some level all along that being infertile didn’t mean her life had to be empty, but here she was, presented with real evidence.
The two couples seemed so happy, so complete, and their charges were so obviously the reason they got up every morning that Zoe wondered if there was a way she could have some of that in her life.
To an extent, she would because there was Louisa, and Zoe had vowed to be as positive an influence in her life as she could be.
Could she make an even bigger difference?
There had to be a way – even if it wasn’t fostering or adopting.
Being childless didn’t have to mean she was useless.
Today was going to be the start of a reset, she decided as they crested the hill and the whole of Windermere was laid out before them, buffeted by a gentle spring breeze and dressed in velvet green.
She didn’t have to see her situation as something negative, but as time and space to make a difference to someone else’s life, just as Linda had done.
She wasn’t sure yet what that would look like, but until she found out, perhaps it would be a good idea to lay some foundations, which meant fixing mistakes she’d recently made and getting her life on an even keel once more.
And she knew, with absolute certainty, where she had to start.
Zoe swallowed, her tummy doing somersaults as she waited for Virginia to answer the phone.
She’d tussled with this plan for the rest of her weekend, and had then decided to take the bull by the horns at the first opportunity she had, which, if she wanted to keep it from Alex for the time being, would have to be during work hours.
Which meant work hours for Virginia too.
She could have emailed, of course, but worried that her emails might go through a secretary or intern of some sort before they reached Virginia herself, and that was far from ideal given it was a personal matter.
‘Hello…’
Not Virginia. Her assistant, perhaps? It hadn’t occurred to Zoe that someone else might answer, but now that fact seemed silly.
‘Hi… I don’t suppose Virginia is around?’
‘She’s away from her desk. If you leave your details, I can ask her to return your call.’
‘I’d rather… It doesn’t matter. Could you tell her Zoe Padbury called but I’ll try again later?’
‘Oh, right… Hang on…’
Zoe could hear a muffled conversation, and then Virginia herself was on the line.
‘Zoe… this is… unexpected. What can I do for you? Everything’s all right with the campsite, isn’t it? Don’t tell me there’s another emergency because I might start to suspect Alex is engineering all these incidents so he can see me.’
‘Don’t,’ Zoe sighed. ‘I know what you’re doing, and I probably deserve it. I can’t excuse how I’ve been behaving, but I wanted to thank you for helping us anyway.’
‘Alex has already done that.’
‘I know, but I thought it was important that you heard it from me too because I’m sure I didn’t make it any easier. It was good of you to stick by us regardless.’
‘Zoe… I don’t know what you thought I was after, but to a point, you were right to think that I wanted what you had.
Not Alex specifically because you must know he only has eyes for you, and if you didn’t know, for whatever reason, I’m telling you now.
I wanted… Never mind. It’s not a conversation for the workplace. I’m glad to have been able to help.’
Zoe was taken aback by Virginia’s frankness, but perhaps she shouldn’t have been.
Without Alex present, they were two women who could speak far more plainly, and it wasn’t as if Virginia was a moron.
Nobody could have been on the receiving end of Zoe’s ire and not realised what it was about.
But that was over now, and this Zoe was going to keep that one firmly under control.
‘So… to show our appreciation, Alex thought… we thought it would be nice take you out to dinner or something. We’re happy to come to Nottingham if it’s better for you. Or you can come to us if you fancy trying somewhere round here. It’s on us, and you’d be welcome to stay at Hilltop if it helps.’
‘And Alex has asked you to phone me to offer this?’
‘Actually, no. I’m the one who has to make the effort, so he doesn’t know I’m phoning… but he did agree that we ought to do something for you. What do you think?’
‘I think,’ Virginia said after a pause, ‘I’d like that very much. Let’s make a date.’
Grizzle raced ahead. Zoe stiffened as he headed towards the scene of his previous crimes, but Alex whistled him away. Grizzle halted for a moment and then lolloped back.
‘I swear that dog is out to make me look like an idiot.’
‘He’s done it to me more times than I can count. I ought to be annoyed with him for all the trouble he caused, but how can you be annoyed at that daft face? Look at him.’ Alex bent to ruffle the fur on Grizzle’s head. ‘All eyes, teeth and legs. The ugliest dog in the world.’
‘He’s not! Griz, don’t listen to him! You’re adorable… If only you’d take some notice of me from time to time, you’d be perfect.’
It started to rain. Zoe pulled up her hood, the sound of gently pattering drops now accompanying the rapidly gathering gloom on the hills ahead of them. ‘It’s going to start tipping down. I feel sorry for the campers.’
‘I don’t know… I’d say it’s all part of the authentic camping experience. You haven’t camped if you haven’t had to run to the toilet in the pouring rain, have you?’
‘I’m not so sure about that. I know it’s your business, and I’m ever so proud of you, but please never ask me to spend a night on your field. I’m quite happy in the house.’
‘Not even for some privacy?’
She glanced up from beneath her hood, and he waggled a saucy eyebrow.
‘I suppose I could be persuaded for a bit of privacy. But not in the rain, not for anything. By the way…’ She paused, her mood now tempered by anxiety.
How would he react to her spontaneous call to Virginia?
Would he be pleased? Or would he suspect she had ulterior motives?
‘I hope you don’t mind, but I phoned Virginia at her office. ’
‘You did?’
‘I felt I owed her an apology. She was helping us, and I was pretty horrible to her.’
‘I don’t think she noticed if you were. And let’s face it, your horrible is everyone else’s normal because you’re not exactly the world’s meanest person.’
‘Still, I felt bad. I invited her over for dinner, to thank her properly. I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to get to know her properly, so we might get along better if… I suppose she’s going to be around sometimes now.
You might need her advice again as time goes on and you get more customers.
I mean, I hope we don’t have to go through anything like that again, but things might crop up.
’ She drew in a long breath. ‘So that’s it.
I thought the weekend might suit. What do you reckon? ’
Alex hugged her. ‘Thank you. That’s perfect.’
Zoe breathed him in, soothed by the feel of his broad chest against her cheek. ‘I’m sorry I was such a bitch about her. I know she was answering your call for help, and I understand why you asked her. I don’t know what came over me, but I thought it was only fair I try to make amends.’
He pulled away to smile down at her. ‘Should we cook here? What did she say?’
‘She says she’s happy to come to us. She said she feels at home, but I suspect she was trying to save us some money by not asking to go out to a restaurant.’
He chuckled. ‘To be fair, she’s come a long way since I first knew her because she’d always want the fanciest of everything back then. But if she’s happy to do that, I’m happy to oblige. We can all drink if we’re here, and we won’t have to worry about getting home.’
‘I said she could stay.’
‘Are you sure?’
Zoe nodded. ‘I was going through some stuff last time, wasn’t I?’
‘I suppose you were. I wish you’d told me sooner.’
‘So do I.’
‘But we’re on track, aren’t we?’
Zoe nodded. She hadn’t been able to admit that she didn’t really feel on track, but she was working on it, and that was all she could offer right now.