Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
She looped her arms around his neck as Rabin took her down a long hallway towards a set of doors made of the same organic material. They seemed to sense his presence, the leaves and vines creaking open as they approached.
They entered a large bedroom to find a roaring fire in a hearth. The carpet was of the softest moonstone grey, as was the wood of the bedframe, the silk on the walls, and all the sheets. Rabin carried her to the divan in front of the fire and set her down.
“You can have a warm shower,” he said. “When you’re done, you can eat, and then we’ll talk.”
She nodded as he entered a room off the side before she heard the rush of water.
“It’s all ready for you,” he said after he returned, bending down and placing a finger under her chin. “I’m so glad you’re here. You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of this moment, Spitfire.”
Her voice stuck in her throat as she nodded. She hadn’t been prepared for how emotional she’d feel being in his presence again. He stirred up so many conflicting thoughts and desires. He’d given her both the highest highs and lowest lows of her life.
He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
“Take your time,” he said, his voice rough. Then he stood, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer before he left the room.
Zarya waited a few seconds before she pushed herself up. She was exhausted but wanted to rid herself of these muddy, wet clothes. Making her way towards the bathroom, she stripped down and then stepped into the shower, luxuriating in the heat of the water.
The tiles were made of the same moonstone material, and everything shimmered softly like it had been sprinkled with stardust.
The air felt soft and light, like a soothing caress. Was that magic? Or something else?
She cleaned up before wrapping herself in a large fluffy towel and padding into the bedroom to find a long satin nightgown lying on the bed, also in the same soft grey. After she dressed she found the food left on the table on the far side of the room.
She should be hungry—she couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten—but she also couldn’t keep her eyes open.
She took a small nibble of bread and then went to lie down, feeling her eyelids grow heavy before she curled up and drifted off to sleep.
When her eyes opened again, she had no idea how long she’d been out, but it had grown darker outside, suggesting at least a few hours had passed. She sat up and looked across the room to the balcony at the far end before noticing a folded piece of paper on the nightstand. She picked it up and opened it.
Zarya. I came to see you but wanted to let you sleep.
I’ll return when you awake.
-R
She stared at his neat scribbles as her heart fluttered like an overwhelmed butterfly before shaking her head. Why was she being such an idiot about a piece of paper?
But then she pressed her mouth to it, imagining she could inhale his scent, proving she really was a complete fool. New food had been delivered, including some sliced fruit and yogurt. She fixed herself a plate and chewed a few bites before wandering outside to investigate her surroundings.
As she approached the balcony, her eyes widened. She was inside an open-air greenhouse enclosed by the walls of the house. A glowing pool sat in the middle of the space, flourishing with a ring of greenery. Flowers and bushes and trees grew everywhere, and amongst them were hundreds of flying peri, their translucent wings shimmering gently against the dark night.
It offered such a stark contrast to the serious man she knew, but this felt like witnessing a secret glimpse into a whimsical layer of his heart.
Propping her elbows on the railing, she leaned forward to take it all in, inhaling the scent of blossoms and savoring a warm breeze that gently caressed her bare skin. She could have stood there for hours.
After several minutes, she became aware of a presence in the room, and she stiffened, knowing it could only be one person. She’d been wanting to see him for months, and she’d been the one to summon him, but now, she was overcome by…everything.
Rabin came up beside her, and once again, she forgot how to breathe in his presence. He wore a pair of soft pants in moonstone grey, his top half bare. Her memories had done a good job of recalling his sheer perfection, but standing next to him in the flesh, she was nearly knocked sideways.
“How are you feeling?” he asked softly, and she nodded.
“Much better.”
He tipped his chin and also leaned on the railing, staring out into the forest.
“This is unbelievable,” Zarya said. “You made all this, too?”
“I did.” He paused and then, a moment later, added, “It brings me peace.”
He said those last words with such rawness in his voice that it felt like he’d just offered up a tender slice of his soul.
“I missed you,” she said, not sure why she was admitting that, but something about his openness made her want to be honest. His head dropped as he blew out a long breath.
“Zarya, you have no idea what it’s been like without you. I thought you hated me, and I thought I might never see you again.”
“You broke my trust,” she said, but it was no longer an accusation. Just a statement of fact.
“I know I did. I messed up. I’ve messed up so many times when it comes to you, but I’ve never been very good at relationships. I’ve lived a long time, but when I’m around you, I feel like I’m brand new at everything.”
He pulled her towards him with a strong arm wrapped around her waist. She loved the way they fit together—her curves meeting the hard planes of his chest and thighs.
“I just need you to give me one more chance. I will do anything to make this up to you.”
She nodded. She’d already forgiven him once and lived to regret it.
Except that she didn’t. Not really.
Allowing him in that night might have led to the current state of her broken heart, but it also ranked as one of the most intense and life-altering experiences of her life. She wouldn’t have given that up for anything.
Even if he had told her the truth, would it have changed things between them? Even if she’d known, would she have ever felt anything different? No matter her feelings, he was still her paramadhar and, therefore, a piece of her life. Nothing would change that.
“I want to believe you and to trust you,” she said. “More than you can possibly know. You opened my eyes to the world. You make me feel things I’ve only dreamed about.”
He tipped his head, the corner of his mouth crooking up. “You mean things like you read in your naughty books?”
She snorted a laugh. “Sort of like that.” But then she shook her head. “But this is real life, not a story. And sometimes love and relationships are imperfect. I know that. I want to let you in. I want us to explore what we started in Dharati.”
He traced the curve of her jaw with his finger. “I want that too.”
She smiled, and he moved closer, dipping his head so their mouths were inches apart. “I want to kiss you,” he said with a low, rough voice, and she nodded. Then he softly pressed his mouth to hers.
As his tongue probed the seam of her lips, she opened them, welcoming him in. They kissed languidly, their tongues sliding and their hands clutching at one another. This was so decadent. So luscious . She moaned softly as he dragged her in closer, spinning her so her back was against the railing.
His leg shoved between her thighs, pressing against her core, and she groaned as she writhed her hips against him. “Gods, I’ve missed the taste of you,” he said. “The pure exquisite sound of that moan.”
“Rabin,” she breathed as he captured her mouth again, his body pressing flat against hers. She was sure they had things to discuss, but all she wanted was to answer this craving she’d been drowning in for months.
His hands grasped her hips as he drove his thigh harder against her, creating a delicious point of friction that had her hips squirming. She lost herself in the sensation, reveling in the feel of his leg against that sensitive spot that ached to be touched.
He leaned down, sucking the curve of her neck before he pulled up, bracing his hands on the railing and looking down at her.
“I want you,” he said. “Right now.”
She nodded, placing her hand on his chest. “You should know…there were others.”
His eyes narrowed, his pupils darkening. “How many?”
“Does it matter?”
Again, he glared before offering up one of those wicked smiles. “That’s perfectly fine.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. Now you’ll know I’m the best you’ll ever have.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m glad to see you’re just as full of yourself.”
That earned her another grin. “It’s just the truth, Spitfire.” He paused. “There was no one else for me.”
Though it wasn’t fair to expect it, something tight loosened in Zarya’s chest at those words.
“There will never be anyone else for me.”
“How can you be so sure of that?” she asked.
“Because I am.”
The answer was simple, unvarnished and raw, brimming with the force of his conviction.
“Because of the paramadhar bond?”
He shook his head. “No. That’s not what the bond is about. What you and I have is something else.”
She smiled. She did like the sound of that.
“Just trust me,” he said. “There’s no possibility this thing I feel for you could be anything but destiny, no matter what anyone might say.”
She wondered if she detected a tinge of bitterness in that statement, but that also made no sense.
“I’m trying.”
“I know. And I am grateful for that.”
“Okay,” she whispered, and he pushed himself up as he stared down her length. She could feel that look everywhere . Then he leaned over and brushed his mouth against her ear.
“Every fiber of my soul wants to take you to that bed and fuck you until you can’t walk straight,” he whispered. Her nipples tightened as heat flooded between her thighs at the wild desire in his voice. “But I think we should take things slow. I have things to explain to you first.”
He pulled away, and she tried to quell her disappointment. But he was right. Jumping into bed was the last thing she needed, even if that was what she wanted.
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “But if you’ll allow it, I’d like to sleep next to you tonight?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
He dipped his chin and then scooped her into his arms before carrying her back inside and falling into the bed.
And for the first time in months, Zarya finally slept.