Chapter 47
Today’s the big day.
I’ve never brought anyone to meet my family. I’ve never had anyone worthy of meeting them, to be honest. But Kaylee isn’t just any girl. She’s someone I can see a future with. Someone who, with each passing day, I don’t really want to imagine my life without.
We drive toward my parents house, and I look over at her as she watches all the things we pass on our way.
She toned down her look. Removed the pink pieces from her hair, wore shorts that cover her ass, and a t-shirt that doesn’t show off her cleavage.
I wish she hadn’t. I’d rather she be herself in every way she wants, instead of feeling like she has to change to fit in.
I do think it’s proof, though, that she likes me just as much, and is worried my parents might judge her based on her outfit rather than herself.
I know they wouldn’t, but I also know she’d never believe that if I told her otherwise.
I watch as she picks at the hem of her shorts. “Nervous?”
She swivels toward me with an apprehensive look in her eyes. “A little.”
“How come?” I question, before looking back toward the road. I know she’s nervous, and I don’t want her to get so in her head that she starts overanalyzing things. We have a good thing going. Great even.
“What if they don’t like me?”
“Angel, they’re definitely goin’ to like ya,” I say, meaning every word.
I know they will trust my gut whole-heartedly.
The only thing they haven’t backed fully in my entire life was me working instead of riding, but that’s only because they feared me losing out on my dream, not because the help wasn’t needed.
“Of course, you think that though.” Worry shows in her hazel eyes. “You like me, so it only makes sense that’s your hope for them as well.”
“Trust me, they know where I stand just by askin’ them to meet ya.
I ain’t ever had them meet anyone before.
Not because I haven’t dated, but no one was ever worth sharin’.
They already like ya without even meetin’ ya, because they know what ya mean to me.
One thing my family is big on is trust. And we trust each other’s gut like it’s our own.
Even Duke’s, and believe me, that’s sayin’ somethin’. The kid’s wild.”
She smiles, but it seems distant, not fully reaching her eyes. It makes me curious about her own family. I know she’s an only child, but beyond that, she doesn’t ever bring them up.
I’ve learned real quick in my relationship with Kaylee that I have to take things slow.
Patience is key when it comes to my angel.
There’s certain things we can talk about freely, and there are others that require time.
Whenever I share about my family, she seems to shut down a little bit.
And while I’ve never straight up asked her about her parents, I always had the feeling she wasn’t ready to talk about them.
But I want to know her the same way she knows me. I want to know everything.
It’s been months and I’ve never once pushed on purpose, so, against my better judgement, I ask softly, "How about you? When can I meet your family?"
“You’re never going to meet them.” Her words are filled with sadness, while my stomach is filled with nausea. Are they dead? Good God, if I missed that I really don’t deserve her. “I don’t have a family.” Her admission rocks me as I realize the weight of her words.
“What happened…? If ya want to share, that is…” I don’t know what to say, all I know is I feel worse about never asking.
“My dad left when I was twelve. My mom was never the same after that. She kind of just gave up on life all together, but especially on being a mom to me. I haven’t seen or heard from her for years.
” She releases a breath that feels filled with unsteady emotions.
Like she’s unsure what direction she wants to go and she’s looking for a way out, or through.
“I don’t bring them up, because I hate this conversation.
” Her words turn harsh, bitter. It’s not pointed at me, but the subject.
“Not like I’ve ever really had this conversation with anyone I dated, but, well…
” She sighs once more, choosing to keep her gaze straight ahead, fixated on anything besides me.
“I just don’t want people’s pity, and I know the minute I start talking about it and people hear my story, that pity can’t be erased. ”
I frown. I understand where she’s coming from but I would never dislike someone or think less of them because they’ve been through something hard.
I do feel like a schmuck for not noticing all the signs that pointed to her not really having a family life though.
Like the lack of pictures around her house, or the way she never brings them up, or how when I mention mine, she always has a way to lead us into a new conversation.
If anything, I’m more focused on my let down as a partner than anything else. I should have noticed sooner.
“I’m really sorry I never asked. And, I’m even more sorry that your parents did the complete opposite of their job, but this doesn’t change how I feel or what I think about ya.
I’ve always seen ya as strong, independent, and smart, not knowin’ ya had to be.
And I have and always will see ya as incredible, because ya jump both feet into shit even if you’re scared.
Life shapes us, whether we want it to or not, but ya could’ve never told me and I still would think what I always have.
You’re perfect to me because ya never pretend to be anythin’ you’re not.
” I glance over at her, noting how even right now with worry in her eyes, she’s still strong as all hell because this is one more fear she’s overcoming, even if she didn’t initiate it on her own.
"And anyone who can’t or didn’t or doesn’t see that is an idiot. That’s on them and not your fault.”
She twiddles her thumbs in her lap, then meets my gaze. “Thank you. I just wish I could have had what you have. So that I could bring you home to someone and brag about you. Because you’re worth bragging about.”
“It’s just the truth, Angel. Ya mean a lot to me, there ain’t an ounce of pity about that.
You’re worth braggin’ about too, and I plan on braggin’ up a storm all day, everyday.
” I lean over and squeeze her hand as a gentle reminder that I’m here.
That I see her. All of her. Every crack and piece she deems broken.
The pieces that make her that much more vibrant and capable.
She places her hand atop mine and squeezes back, gripping her fingers around mine.
A silent response to what I said. But I know my girl, and I know it’s because she doesn’t want to cry, nor does she want to talk about this further.
Someday she’ll open up, share everything, piece by piece, until every detail of her life feels like part of her story instead of a burden she hides from the world.
From me. I just gotta let things go at her speed, on her terms.
“What are they like? Your family…?”
“Duke’s a lot. He’s got my charisma ten-fold.
He might mess with ya just to get a reaction.
Depends on if someone shit in his Wheaties this mornin’ or not.
” Her answering laugh makes me smile before continuing, “Tell him where to pack it, Angel, he’ll love that.
.. Ma is a softy, she’ll hug ya the moment she sees ya and she’ s goin’ to act like we’re good and married.
” I look over to her, knowing I haven’t told her I love her but thinking of all the ways I do.
Her laugh alone brings me more joy than I can even express.
I’d like to think she feels it too. “Feel free to let her think what she wants. Dad is straight forward, but he already asked about ya, so he should have less questions than if he hadn’t.
The man is openly cautious. Likes to have a roadmap even to the local grocery store.
But all together, us Rogers are a wild bunch.
We joke and tease, and we all just find joy in the little things.
And, well, since ya like me, it won’t be bad, I promise. ”
Her eyes shine with curiosity and maybe a hint of worry. “What did you tell your dad?”
I consider telling her about our conversation.
How I stumbled upon her in a way that couldn’t be made up.
How she’s bold, and though she doesn’t give her love out freely, when she does, it feels like the warmth of the sun.
How being with her feels like something more.
That I can’t see my world without her, and that my gut’s never felt more sure about something or someone in my life, but given that I just asked about her family and she hasn’t met mine, creates pause.
I know I’m sure, but I want her to be just as sure, so I hold back the I love you that brews beneath the surface every time I look in her eyes, and instead decide to leave it out.
“I told him about how great ya are, about all the things you’ve accomplished, and, of course, about how beautiful ya are too. That ya make my heart feel whole, which is somethin’ I never knew I was missin’ until now. That you’re my favorite piece of me.”