Chapter 49
The gate clicks while I unlatch it and wave Kaylee on.
As she drives my truck past me so I can close it, I can’t help but think how hot she looks driving my truck.
Climbing back in the cab, I give her a kiss, before she slides over and I drive down the two-track toward the herd.
“So, what’d ya think of everyone? Was it as bad as ya thought? ”
“Honestly, everyone was so kind it really put into perspective why you are the way you are. It was nice to see normalcy actually exists.” She offers me a soft smile, looking out the front windshield once more.
“I kind of had it in my head that everyone either had mass trauma that held their family together like glue or separated it. I mean, I know there are some huge things that you have all been through, of course, but even with those things being current it didn’t really feel like a weight you all just carry around.
Honestly, I was expecting at least one interrogation from someone since you all mean so much to each other, but it wasn’t like that.
It seemed like they wanted me there just as much as you did. They made me feel welcome.”
I’ve always considered myself lucky. It’s hard not to when I had a family that always put love and respect first. Hearing how obvious that was, and is, to Kaylee is just one of a million reasons why I appreciate life and the cards I’ve been dealt.
I hate knowing that she had to go through life wishing for the same love and care I have never had to live without.
But I also see similarities in the way she gives herself to others.
She’s built a fortress around herself, but once she decides to open the gates, she uses those walls to protect the people she’s allowed in.
“How was washin’ dishes with Ma? Couldn’t decide if I should come in or leave ya be.”
Her face gleams with a genuine fondness when I mention Ma.
“She reminds me of Daisy, finds value in things most people don’t see.
I couldn’t have wished for a better interaction, honestly.
She and I talked about the pictures you have hung on the fridge and how much they mean to her.
Obviously, I didn’t spend much time with your dad, but from what I saw in those baby books, they both seem to be on the same page and lead with love.
” She scootches toward me, leaning her head on my shoulder. “They did a good job.”
The rumble of my truck fills the evening air as Kaylee and I bump down the road toward our temporary pasture on Mrs. Mandry’s land.
Bellows and bawls ring out, louder and louder the closer we get.
I park the truck and shut the engine off, surveying the herd, but my focus remains on the bulk of today.
I had no idea that Kaylee’s life was as hard as it was.
There’s so much more to the standoffish person I met months ago.
She’s much different than how I had initially thought.
There’s so much depth behind her eyes, but she does so well to avoid conversations about why.
I just assumed it was one too many bad experiences with assholes who let her down in some way or another.
Turns out the people who let her down weren’t some douchebags looking for a piece of ass, but, worse—the people who should have always taught her to spot them a mile away.
I settle in my seat as Kaylee nestles deeper into the crook of my arm. My eyes graze across the cattle in search of the baby, until I spot it.
“There she is.” I point at the little calf frolicking around her mother, and not a moment later the weight of my arm drops from Kaylee’s shoulder as she leans in to look.
“It’s so cute, she looks so happy running around without anyone to play with.
” Her voice is filled with joy, and it’s funny that she sees Ma and Daisy amazed by little things, as soft and endearing.
But she’s been forced to believe all she can ever be is cold, that the only way she will be seen is hard.
She isn’t, though. Not for me. An angel, no matter how powerful, is as soft as their wings.
I slide my hand across the seat, wrapping it around Kaylee’s waist, pulling her back toward me. The moment she meets my gaze, I glide my hand up her back to her neck and bring her to my lips. The warmth of her smile meets mine, our tongues tracing one another in a delicate kiss.
I feel like today went perfect, I just hope she did too.
She leans back up, searching the land we watch once more. Silence lingers in the air, but it’s not heavy, it’s peaceful.
Her body pivots toward mine, question in her eyes. “Have you ever ridden any of your bulls?”
I laugh. “Only the fake one made out of a barrel.”
“Why is that funny?” Crossing her arms, Kaylee looks at me like my laughter is unreasonable. To be fair, the question isn’t unusual, it just caught me off guard.
“I guess I sometimes forget that not everyone grew up around cattle. But, no, I haven’t ever ridden one of ours.
They ain’t bred for that. Guess ya never know though.
Might have a diamond in the rough out there in that field.
” I chuckle again at the idea of trying to jump on the back of one of our cows.
“Most of them don’t want anythin’ to do with people.
They ain’t really raised like the ones we ride.
They’d probably just run away for the most part. ”
“You never had the urge? Not even when you were little?”
“Ya know, I honestly don’t think I have.
The bulls at the rodeo are always referred to as athletes and they’re treated like movie stars.
As much as I like havin’ cattle, I guess I just always viewed ours as nothin’ more than grazers.
Don’t usually get close to many of them, though I have had some favorites in the past. Juniper’s, one of ‘em. She sometimes lets ya touch her. Though as Duke proved, I wouldn’t try now that she’s just had a calf. ”
My joke lands a soft laugh from her. “Do you hate the bull from your accident? I mean, I know it’s his job to buck you off, but killing you seems a bit extreme.”
My mind drifts to Helfire. “Naw, I don’t hate him.
” Air fills my lungs, blowing out in a steady sigh.
“Bulls like him are picked because they’re intense in the ring.
That doesn’t mean they are outside of it.
Hell, he could be one of the sweetest bulls ya’d ever met.
They’re kind of like us riders. We aren’t the same in those eight seconds as we are outside of ‘em.”
Her light brows scrunch together, a frown forming on her lips. “What do you mean?”
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to accurately describe what those few short seconds riding feel like and how much they change you. So I just shrug, resting my hand on her thigh.
“Nothin’ deep, I just ain’t thinkin’ about anyone. Not my family or my love life. Really all I’m thinkin’ about is winnin’ and what I’ve got to do to make that happen.”
“I don’t think that makes you not you, but that makes sense. How did it feel to go back?”
“Didn’t feel like ridin’ a bike, I’ll tell ya that.” I linger on my return ride and what a shit show it was. “But after the first one, I’ve seemed to get back what I thought was lost. The only part that’s been missin’ is havin’ ya there to cheer me on.”
She leans back in the seat, looking out over the cattle. “I’ll be there.”
My gaze shoots to hers so quickly I’m surprised I don’t get whiplash.
From the time we met, she’s always shown a total disregard for anything having to do with cowboys, I just assumed that flowed over to rodeos as well.
Not that I thought this would be a fight, since I never asked, but her agreement puts my heart at ease.
Hope blossoms in my chest and I can’t help the grin that settles on my lips.
Rodeos are my life, my dream, and with each passing day, she, too, is becoming a part of it.