Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
FRID
We spent the rest of the day in the room together, hardly speaking, not even looking at each other.
I woke up from my nap an hour before, and occupied myself staring at the thick curtains that separated our room from the quiet hall while Victor played on my nerves, throwing and catching a small leather ball he probably got from a kid.
The sun could just barely seep through the intricately woven fabric, highlighting the threads of sky blue and mustard yellow.
The patterns on the fabric were moving slightly in the small amount of air that traveled from room to room.
The way ventilation was set up in this place allowed for a comfortable temperature to remain at a steady level throughout the day and even at night.
From time to time, I could hear one of the sisters passing by on the other side of the curtain. There was truly no privacy in this place. What if people had some business they wanted to keep away from the others?
“It’s time for dinner,” Victor suddenly said.
“Hm?”
“Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to go?”
“Sure,” I responded, not moving a muscle.
I could hear the rustle of clothes behind me.
I turned to see that Victor had changed into the clothes that our servant girl gave him.
He wore the same light colored tunic and wide legged pants as the people of the commune.
His narrow waist was defined by a thick belt the males in the compound wore.
“Do you want me to bring you food?” he asked.
“No, I’m getting up.” I grimaced, carefully lifting myself up.
When the stress from last night gradually left my body, every ache and muscle strain, each scrape and bruise, let me know how abused my body was.
From the corner of my eye I could see that Victor’s lips were pressed tightly together as he watched me slowly swing my legs off the bed. He turned and left the room without saying a word.
I was stiff and sore and could barely put on the dress that the sisters left for me. The light, nearly see-through fabric of the skirt reached to the soles of my feet. My chest was on full display for anyone to see, but I was too tired to care.
I knew Victor hated that I went on missions without him. But, what else could I do?
When he returned to the room, I looked up, expecting him to make his usual snarky comment, but he said nothing.
Instead, he extended his hand. He appeared more tan than I had ever seen him before, and after a moment of hesitation, I accepted it.
His warm fingers intertwined with mine and he carefully pulled me toward him.
Our eyes locked when my chest pressed against his.
And for some reason, my mind could not concentrate on anything else.
His light grey eyes, with dark eyelashes, looked straight into my soul as if our bodies knew how to speak without words.
“I was a fool. I wanted to ask you . . . out . . . I went to your room, but . . . you were with someone. I could . . . not . . . bare it.”
The memory from the not so distant past hit me harder than ever before. I still remembered his voice, the way his breath caught. I felt slightly light headed as I looked away.
“Do you want to go?” I asked.
“What’s all this?” Victor muttered behind me as we entered the decorated dining area.
The atmosphere in the compound had changed. The soft, tender sound of multiple flutes tinkled in the air. It seemed that they were celebrating some kind of special day.
Unlike our past visits, every wall was adorned with garlands of fresh white flowers, the familiar jars illuminated the room in blue clusters of gentle light.
I scrutinized a line that formed in the corner where one of the sisters offered sparkly plum wine.
We got plates filled with fresh vegetables and baked chicken wings simmered in a sticky sweet sauce.
I watched the other sisters sitting with us. At almost every table were couples that were not ashamed to show their affection toward each other. They held hands, embraced each other, or kissed.
If I were a different person, I could see myself enjoying this rare moment of peace, but I had not been raised to do any of that.
Besides, no matter how idyllic the evening felt, I was the one who would be going back to the wastelands tomorrow, or the next day.
I picked up a piece of chicken and took a huge bite of the amazingly flavorful and tender meat.
“This is so good! I’m going to die.” I inhaled the scent of spices.
Victor watched me for a long moment. He sat with his back straight, and he no longer seemed like he was particularly hungry.
He was not going to be easy to deal with.
I hated how he closed up when we argued.
I would much prefer him to be snappy and sarcastic than give me this new, moody version of himself.
“You need to eat, or you’ll get sick. I’m not carrying you on my back anymore,” I said.
Victor’s eyes lingered on my face as I licked the aromatic sauce off my fingers. He was about to answer, but Mahin stepped to the center of the room. By the way her head was turned toward us, I realized that she was about to make a speech.
“Now what?” Victor muttered under his breath.
“Sisters, and brothers. The Goddess spoke to me today.”
People around us cheered.
I glanced at the others. It seemed like it was a regular occurrence in the compound.
“Visions like mine are not simply a whim of the tired mind. The Goddess, herself, sent us a message,” Mahin continued.
“The fuck?” Victor whispered.
“Love is what will keep us together. Love will give us strength, and love will lead us to a better future. But our enemy doesn’t know what that is.
That’s why they are going to lose.” The crowd murmured in agreement.
Mahin continued, “Our sister from the East found the den where our wives and daughters are held against their will.”
I chewed on my lip. The way she put it, the way she talked about it, that was not what I saw at all. That girl walked back to the building on her own.
Victor watched my face. I hated how well he knew me.
“The Goddess told me that one of our sisters will help us bring them back home.” Mahin turned toward me.
My thoughts were about to explode in my head. I hated being praised. But, there was also something else. Something that I could not yet put into words.
People clapped and shouted. I bit down hard. One of the younger women stepped toward me and placed a flower wreath on my head. I could still feel Victor’s gaze on me.
That was it!
I had reached my breaking point. All I wanted was to disappear into thin air. Despite whatever Mahin was planning, these people really believed that I could solve their decades long dispute and put an end to the conflict between the two settlements.
I was not sure that I could trust the priestess. This mission was pure desperation on my part. On top of that, I was going to do something that could get me killed.
“Let us praise the Goddess! Tonight we can show her that even in the darkness, there is a place for love and light.” Mahin raised her hands in the air.
Just then, Amira moved closer to her wife and leaned in for a kiss. All around us, people followed her lead.
I glanced at Victor who stared at the couples around us with his eyebrows furrowed. The blood drained from my face, but yet, I felt like every inch of my skin turned beet red.
I could have just stayed seated, and probably could have waited for the storm to blow over, but instead, I got to my feet.
That immediately attracted even more attention to us. Mahin turned my way and slowly drifted toward our table.
Fuuuccckkk!
“There is no harm in showing your love to your significant other. I’m sure it doesn’t go against your traditions,” she said.
That was my second opportunity to lie. To come up with a reason why I could not kiss Victor, even if I already ‘claimed him’ as my man. Unfortunately, I was not so quick to come up with words. I was no good at lying, and apparently, talking, or thinking. I just stood there, frozen to my spot.
Mahin tilted her head and a knowing smile formed on her face.
She lightly pushed me toward Victor. In my state of shock, I stepped on the hem of my long skirt and stumbled sideways.
My elbow hit the wooden table sending Victor’s fork flying to the floor.
Pieces of lettuce scattered on the table.
My hand landed on Victor’s shoulder. When I lifted my head, our faces were only inches apart.
Victor’s fingers wrapped around my rib cage, just below my breast. In slow motion, a strand of my hair brushed against his cheek.
His eyes burned into mine and there was so much in his gaze.
I got mesmerized by the specks of pale and dark blue in the irises of his eyes.
Mahin was still talking, but I heard nothing of what she was saying as my gaze lingered on his lips.
His breath caught in his chest and my pulse exploded in my ears in a wild rhythm.
“Frid, your hand . . .” His words came thick with strain.
I blinked, hardly understanding what he was saying as my body pressed against his so tightly that I could feel his quickened pulse.
“Frid,” he whispered as if it was difficult for him to speak, and his usually pale cheeks looked fevered.
Why did he look so uncomfortable? My hand was on his shoulder, what was so bad about that?
Then I remembered that my other arm hit the table before I caught myself. I glanced down.
Absolute horror washed over me, seizing my breath.
I was touching . . . my hand was on his . . .
Blood rushed to my face. My head spun, and for a long moment, I could not process what just happened. My brain refused to function. I looked up, seeing how his pupils dilated, making his eyes almost black in the dim light. His breath caught.
“This . . .” he attempted to speak but failed immediately.
His fingers slid down to my hips.
In reaction, my hand, having a mind of its own, cupped against his hardened flesh. It only lasted a moment, but his eyes burned into mine.
I must be delirious. This could not be happening.
“Either finish what you started . . . or remove . . . your hand,” he said with difficulty.
Mahin laughed behind me and that did the trick. I righted myself and turned to sit as the force of thousands of suns burned me from within.