Chapter 41
A buzz of anticipation hums in the air on the morning of the pledging ceremony. At least for everyone else. I’m carrying around a leaden weight, dragging me through poisoned water. I still haven’t heard anything from my parents, but my father will be here.
It’s part of the swearing in, where the scion welcomes you into your House. Today, I’ll meet Surreal Beaufort face-to-face, and I can’t even begin to imagine how she’ll react to my presence.
We’ve been given the day off from classes, but I can’t relax in my room. First off, I’m not welcome by two of three of my roommates, and of course, I can’t stop thinking about my mother.
I put on my workout gear and text her again, asking about their plans for tonight, but I’m met with the same stony wall of silence. I scroll up our lengthy, one-sided conversation as a single tear slips down my cheek.
I swipe it away and head for the gym, finding it mostly empty, save for Henry in the corner.
“Hi,” I say as I make my way over. He looks up.
“Poet, how are you?”
“Okay.”
I sink down on the bench across from him. We haven’t had much time to talk over the last few months. We’re always surrounded by people, and all the things I want to say are too intimate with an audience. “I hope this isn’t too personal, but can I ask how you’ve been since . . .”
He lifts his dark brows. “Since Raine?”
I sigh. “Yes?”
He sets the weight he’s holding by his feet and clasps his hands. “I was pretty broken up for a long time, but I’m healing. I don’t know if the hurt ever disappears, and I miss him every day, but I feel almost normal again.”
I give him a half smile. “I’m happy to hear that. Are you dating?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “To the point, I see.”
“Raine would want you to be happy.”
“I think you’re right.” He smiles and nods. “I am dating. Nothing serious yet, but maybe I’ll meet someone soon.”
“I’m glad,” I say. “And if you do meet someone special, don’t stop yourself from feeling it, okay? He wouldn’t want that.”
Henry gives me a scrutinizing look. “When did you grow up, little Poet? Get so wise?”
I bark out a laugh as I stand up and rack some plates on the end of a barbell.
“I assure you I’m nothing but a complete mess who cobbles together an articulate thought on occasion.”
He chuckles at that. “You’ve gotten yourself into some trouble . . .”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Not sure you should even be talking to me.”
He shakes his head. “Storm Guard takes precedence over Society. Out there, we’re all brothers and sisters, no matter where we come from.”
I cock my head and place both hands on my hips. “Is that really true?”
He shrugs. “Sometimes.”
I laugh and then straddle the bench.
“What did your parents say?” he asks.
“Nothing. They aren’t speaking to me at all.”
His expression presses inward. He rubs the back of his neck and blows a breath. “I’m . . . I can’t really say I’m surprised.”
“No, I suppose I can’t, either, but I hoped—”
Henry watches me. “Do they know you’ve joined cadet training? Something tells me they wouldn’t approve?”
I sigh, my shoulders turning down. “You’re right—they don’t approve, but they also won’t acknowledge me.”
I think about my life in a distant future where I might be a mother myself. I don’t think I could ever abandon my own child, no matter the circumstances.
But maybe I’m being naive and don’t really know or understand anything.
Knox might have told my father about the Storm Guard, but he also seemed convinced I’d drop out, so maybe not.
“How is life in Aria treating you so far?” Henry asks, and I raise my hands in a gesture of defeat.
“Oh, they just love having me around.”
He smirks and shakes his head. “Well, if you have trouble with anyone, come to me. I know we haven’t talked much, or at all, and that’s my fault. I was just hurt and—”
“I get it,” I say. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”
“Well, I think of you as a little sister, too.”
“Even though I defected?”
He grins. “Especially then. Raine would have been proud of you,” he says as he sits up.
“You think?” I ask, something lifting in my spirit knowing that.
Henry nods. “Absolutely.” Then he leans in closer. “You’re . . . safe?” he asks carefully. I sense something else he isn’t asking, but I can’t understand what that might be.
My confusion must be written on my face because he adds, “Your brother . . .” He shakes his head. “He would be happy to see you standing up for yourself. Just be careful, okay? Try not to draw any more attention.”
I snort out a dry laugh. “That’s the plan. But trouble seems to find me, no matter what I do.” I think of when Rook told me the same thing and laugh to myself.
Henry’s answer is a searching look. “Like I said, I’m here if you need anything.”
I give him a smile, and then we both resume our workouts in companionable silence.