Chapter 47
Over the next few weeks, I withdraw into myself. I relive the terror of that night over and over. They were so close, and I froze. I hate myself for everything I failed to do.
We aren’t told anything about Lacey, either. For all intents, she is gone and never existed.
I’ve seen Winter crying during mealtimes, her eyes bloodshot, her cheeks pink. Knox trying to comfort her, his face pale and drawn. I sense the shifting mood in House Fiama. They aren’t supposed to mourn her, but she was their friend, and no one deserves this fate.
Questions nag my thoughts. Was Lacey really infected? Was there a sign I missed?
I think of her blond hair with its dyed lilac tips. I know they weren’t natural. I’ve watched them fade before she had them redone. Did she even know what she was? Were we both living scared for our lives, none the wiser to each other’s secrets?
There’s no one to ask for more information. Even if someone knew, it would draw too much attention.
My inward spiral isn’t helped by the fact that it’s obvious Scion Beaufort passed on the message that I’m not to be trusted or treated with an ounce of human kindness.
Everywhere I turn, I’m met with hostile looks, underhanded barbs, and muttered threats. I feel like I can’t breathe without someone reminding me that I’m no better than the dirt crusted on their shoe.
I no longer belong with Fiama, but I certainly don’t belong with Aria.
I tell myself this will pass. They’ll get tired of tormenting me eventually. I shrink further into myself and draw as little attention as possible. Truly, the only bright spot in my week is time spent in the gym and my simple workouts with Henry as we chat about everything in his life.
Thankfully, cadet training and school keep me mostly too busy to think very much.
Except at night, when I lie awake, imagining that they’d come for me on that boat instead.
Trinity is busy with her E-squad. I’ve seen her only a handful of times since that night, and she was gleeful about Lacey’s capture.
Convinced we were all better off. She’s been lucky to escape the brunt of Aria’s ire for switching Houses, but that’s because her squad is protecting her.
Maybe a part of me understands why she was drawn to them.
Regardless, Scion Beaufort doesn’t have it out for her, and Trinity is mostly ignored outside of her group. She’s also been busy with the new boyfriend, Jared. I don’t think I like him very much.
We’re drifting apart. I can feel it. I just don’t know how to stop it.
Rook is also avoiding me, and I want to scream with the frustration of it all. I had no choice but to sneak out alone when a storm came last week, and it took everything in me not to hunt him down and beg him to come.
Rumors have been flying about our kiss.
Someone saw us, just like Domino warned.
He said we shouldn’t have done it, and he’s making it incredibly obvious that he thinks it was a mistake, so I need to respect that.
The only other bright side is that I’ve also seen very little of Knox. Nothing more than a glance in the cafeteria during meals, and despite the way I’ve fucked everything up, at least I accomplished this.
He can marry Winter, and I honestly hope they’re happy together.
I also take comfort in knowing I won’t be invited to the wedding.
It’s late when I return from the outskirts another week later, and things take a turn for the worse. The storm is powerful tonight, the wind fierce, and the closed waterways forced me to take the train back to Amery. Now it continues to rage, exploding across the sky.
When I enter my room, it’s too dark to see much, but something makes the hairs on my neck stand up. I scan the shadows, blinking and trying to make out the indistinct shapes. Is someone there?
“Where have you been?” comes a voice from the dark, and my shoulders tense.
This is exactly what I don’t need right now. “Who’s there?”
“I asked where you’ve been,” the voice repeats.
“I was in the library studying,” I say, using my already-planned excuse while slumping my heavy backpack on the floor to punctuate my point.
“Pretty late to be studying,” a different voice says off to my left.
“Yeah, I’m behind,” I answer as I take a step back.
A light flares, revealing six people forming a half circle, including my two roommates. I recognize Brick and a few other members of Aria.
“What’s going on?” I ask, trying to temper the shake in my voice.
“Scion Beaufort wants us to keep an eye on you,” someone answers. A girl with spiky lilac hair. “And we’ve taken notice of your so-called ‘late-night study sessions.’”
“I’m busy with cadet training,” I say, hating that I feel the need to defend myself. “I have a lot of homework to catch up on. That’s all.”
“No one else seems to have that problem,” Silla, my roommate, says. “They’re all tucked cozy in their beds.”
I wonder where Domino went. Did they do something to her? She’s one of the only people in my life still speaking to me, and a wave of protectiveness burns in my chest.
But what if she knew they were planning to ambush me?
I shake away the thought. She wouldn’t do that to me. She’s too good. And if she did clear out to protect herself, I can’t blame her for that.
“Just leave me alone,” I say, lifting my chin. “I haven’t done anything to you.”
“Haven’t you?” asks Cece with an ugly sneer on her face. “We don’t trust you. You don’t belong here.”
“By whose criteria? Some made-up rule someone decided hundreds of years ago? Does this really matter?” I ask. “I’ll stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine. I promise I’m not here to spy on Aria.”
I’m met with a few blinks, perhaps a few light bulbs turning on, but the biased structure of our environment isn’t their primary concern right now.
“Get out of our room,” Silla says. “Permanently. You’re fouling up the entire place.” She waves a hand under her nose. “It smells rotten.”
“Then where am I supposed to sleep?”
Honestly, I’d prefer to leave, but I also have nowhere else to go.
She saunters closer and folds her arms. “That’s not my fucking concern.”
Fear and anger twist knots in my chest. I should just leave. Sleeping in a random hallway would be better than this. A stone floor. A bed of nails.
“Get out or we’ll make you get out,” Silla says, and it’s obvious she means it.
I back up another few steps. “Fine.” I can’t take on six people alone. Maybe I’ll appeal to Stevie, though I know she can’t do anything to help. I reach for my bag, but they close in around me.
They have no intention of allowing me to walk out of here without a scratch.
“I’m leaving,” I promise. “I won’t come back.”
From the corner of my eye, I notice someone lift an arm, a flash of brown fuzz catching my attention. The blood drains from my limbs along with a soft, panicked breath at the sight of Brick clutching Teddy in his massive grip.
He grins as a snide chorus of laughter circles through my attackers.
Silla advances, placing herself directly in my path, invading my space. “Aw, the widdle Fiama princess had to bring her widdle teddy bear to school,” she says in a baby voice that definitely isn’t cute. “How adorable.”
“Give me that,” I say.
The words spill from my lips of their own accord, and I’m a fool because I’ve just revealed my hand.
“Come and get it,” Brick taunts, his ugly face spreading into a sneer.
It’s a trick. Obviously it’s a trick, but I reach for this last thread of an old life anyway. I’ve lost everything in the past few weeks. My friends. My family. My fiancé, even if I didn’t want him. I’m even slowly losing my best friend.
Teddy is the only connection left to who I was.
Brick laughs and then tosses it to another guy on the far side of the room. They all join in the game, maneuvering around me until I’m surrounded as they hurl Teddy back and forth.
I should walk out of here. I should go to a teacher—someone who might help. But who? Fiama’s professors won’t care, and Aria’s will feel the same. I think of Henry, but I don’t want to bring this burden to him.
But I also can’t leave yet. I can’t let them do something to Teddy. I understand it isn’t logical—he’s just an old toy—but I can’t let them have him. If I lose this, then I worry I’ll never find myself again.
So I stand helplessly, my fists clenching as they make a sport out of taunting me. I spin around and around, trying to keep the bear in my sight. But they pick up their pace, quickly shuffling him among their hands.
Anger boils in my veins, blurring my sight.
The sound of a hideous riiiip fills my ears, and I spin around. “No!”
Brick is laughing, and Teddy is now headless, sheared through the neck. My surroundings turn distant and hollow, like I’m falling into a deep hole. Another rip, and I glimpse soft limbs and white cotton spilling to the floor like tumbling snow.
“No,” I gasp as horror burns up my throat, and then I’m being shoved. I don’t even have the presence of mind to realize they’ve pushed me past the door.
“Give him to me!” I scream, setting off another round of mocking. Still, they push and shove, and I’m jostled among them as I reach helplessly for Teddy, who’s probably lying in a million pieces on the floor.
“I told you to get out,” Silla says again, and then she shoves me in the chest. I’m weightless. I don’t even realize I’m falling until my stomach lifts into my throat and I hit the floor. No, not the floor. Stairs. Because I’m rolling, bumping, plunging to the echoing sound of cruel laughter.
A sharp pain bursts in the back of my head, and then everything goes black.