Chapter 54
Once Dr. Cummings ends the simulation, we’re invited to the arena floor, where we walk around, exploring its nooks and crannies. The Breakers answer some questions about what it’s like to work on the Storm Towers, and then we do a series of drills.
But I can’t focus or concentrate. I can’t stop seeing the blitzed Hollows, nor the easy cruelty with which they were treated.
Dr. Eze pulls me aside. “Are you okay, Poet?” she asks, and I shake my head.
“I’m not feeling well,” I say. It’s not a complete lie, but I’m almost positive she isn’t taking my answer the way I intended.
“Why don’t you just have a seat, then?” she says, steering me to a quiet corner. “We’re almost done here anyway.” She sits me down and then crouches before me. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” she says. “I’d like for you to come to my lab for some extra testing.”
My head snaps up. “Why?”
She shakes her head. “Just some anomalies I noticed. I’d like to check things again.”
“Anomalies?”
Does she know about me? Can she tell what I am?
Her smile softens before she glances left and right, but we’re alone. “Don’t worry, Poet. You’re safe with me.” She winks and pats my hand, and my brow furrows because I think she’s trying to tell me something.
Before I can ask, she stands and walks away. I watch her before I lean forward and stare at the floor between my feet. By the time we leave, I’ve managed to pull myself together at least on the outside, but inside, I’m a twisted knot of confused emotions.
“You all right?” Domino asks, looping her arm through mine while Journey walks on my other side.
“Yeah, just dizzy,” I say. I look for signs they feel the same.
I see it in the tightness around their mouths and the blank look in their eyes.
But I understand none of us are supposed to feel this way.
By the tenets of New Manhattan, those people should have been honored to give up their lives for this worthy exercise.
Even Journey is quiet, which tells me a lot.
“Hey, we were planning to go to Sogno tonight,” Domino eventually says. “You should come.”
“I don’t know,” I say. Apart from avoiding everyone, I’m not sure I’m in the mood. Besides, I was still hoping I’d go with Trinity. But she also hasn’t been answering my texts or requests to meet up, so maybe I’m feeling a little defiant.
“Come on,” Domino says. “We can dance, have a few drinks, loosen up.”
She gives me a meaningful look. We can try to forget what we just saw. Maybe she’s right and it’s exactly what I need.
“Maybe,” I say, and she does a happy bounce.
“Say yes,” she insists, and I look over at Journey, who nods.
“Fine, that sounds fun.”
“Yay!” Domino says, and we start walking a bit faster, our moods already lighter.
“I just wish I had something new to wear,” Journey says as we enter the school, gesturing down at herself. “I’ve worn the same outfit three times now.”
“Oh, I can help you with that,” I say, dragging them down a hall and toward my room.
. . .
A few hours later, it looks like a sparkle bomb exploded on the floor.
Shiny fabrics lie everywhere in haphazard piles, and I think Domino and Journey tried on every single outfit I own before they both settled on something for Sogno.
We’ve had such a good time that I’m even more thankful the vandals who destroyed my room were focused on my uniforms, not my fun clothes.
Journey opted for a cute pink satin dress with thin straps and a skirt that skims the tops of her thighs. She’s currently seated on one of the empty beds, doing her makeup.
Domino chose a burgundy sequined dress that falls to her knees with a long slit up to her hip. The neckline plunges low, nearly to her navel, and she’s tied up her hair in a high knot to show off the back, which is draped with gold chains.
“You look stunning,” I say, handing over a pair of gold stilettos that should fit her. “Try it with these.”
She steps into the shoes and does a little twirl in the mirror. “We can’t thank you enough,” she says, admiring her butt before she bursts into giggles.
“It’s no problem. Seriously, any time. My closet is yours.”
“You’re going to regret saying that,” Journey promises from across the room, where she’s lining her lips in hot pink. I grin.
I hop up from the bed before heading into the bathroom to change. Despite everything, I feel lighter than I have in a while. I should go out and have some fun. Everything’s been so heavy for the past six months, and this is what I need.
I exit the bathroom to a cloud of powder and perfume and Journey and Domino laughing. I watch the scene for a moment with a kind of wistful longing. These aren’t the friends I expected to find, but I appreciate them more than they know.
I sit down next to Journey and start applying my makeup when the door opens, and Rook enters. He freezes as he takes in the mess, his gaze sliding over discarded heaps of clothing. We were sure to leave his corner of the room completely untouched.
“Hi,” I say, sitting up straighter.
His eyes widen. “Hey,” he says. “I didn’t know. I thought . . .”
“We’re leaving,” I say. “You can have the room to yourself. Right, girls?”
“Yup,” Domino says with an eager nod, snapping her compact shut. “We’re all done. Sorry about the mess.”
She grabs the evening bag she borrowed and gestures for Journey to follow.
“I’ll meet you upstairs in a minute,” I say, and they nod before closing the door. I immediately bend down and start gathering my clothes into armfuls.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’ll clean this up.”
“Poet,” Rook says. His voice comes out raspy, and it makes me look over. “It’s fine. You’re allowed to exist in this space.”
My shoulders drop, throat knotting at the fierce sincerity in his tone. “Okay. I’ll finish it tomorrow, if that’s all right?”
“It’s definitely all right.”
I drop the pile on one of the empty beds, and I hear his breath hitch. I turn to find him watching me with his jaw a little slack.
I’m wearing a sleeveless, sparkly black romper with shorts that stop right below my butt. My hair is tied into a ponytail to expose the opening that plunges to my lower back. The outfit is completed with tall black boots, some gold hoops, and a bit of makeup.
“You look . . .” he says, rubbing his chin. “Fuck, you look amazing.”
The compliment warms me from the inside out, making my stomach dip.
“You could come with us?” I ask, trying to keep the hope out of my voice. I miss talking to him. I miss being in his presence.
He shakes his head. “No thanks.”
“You sure? You’d be welcome. It’ll be fun.”
He pauses, his gaze tracing over the line of my exposed thigh up past my hips and shoulders encased in glittering black velvet. A breath expels from his chest that feels like an earthquake.
He seems to consider my request. Pick it up, examine it, and then . . . he discards it with another shake of his head. “I don’t think so, but thank you.”
“Okay,” I say, trying not to wear my disappointment like a neon sign.
“Maybe we could hit the gym tomorrow?” he asks, and I return a tentative smile. It’s not much, but it’s a tiny little glimmer of hope. But maybe he’s just being nice.
“I’d love that.”
“Okay, see you tomorrow. Have fun tonight.”
“Thanks.” I cross the room and find my purse, stuffing it with my lipstick and a few other items. The entire time, I think I can feel him trying not to watch me. If I bend over to give him an extra-good view of my butt in these shorty shorts, then it’s totally an accident.
I stand up and peer over my shoulder. He flinches and looks away.
He was definitely staring. My triumph knows no bounds.
“Sorry,” he mumbles and rubs his face.
“See you later,” I say with a wave.
“Have fun,” he says again.
I close the door behind me and lean against it, grinning so hard, my cheeks ache.