Chapter 23
Looking down at Rosetta while he let his mind quietly soak in all her beauty, Alister couldn’t stop himself from kissing her.
He should’ve been focused on speaking with her, but a deep-seated craving had gripped him. He thought if he hadn’t gotten to feel her lips like this again, he would’ve died.
As he drew his lips over hers, only one thought came to mind. So damn soft.
They felt silkier than he remembered, like parts of him had forgotten just how amazing aspects of her were, just so he could be enthralled when he finally saw her again.
When she’d kissed him back, he thought he was going to get lost in her until she ripped herself away. He hid how heavy his breaths suddenly became just from that quick contact, how much it affected his body.
He stared down at her.
She didn’t smell of gardenias and he figured she’d run out of that perfume a while ago, but she smelt of herself. It made his lids want to droop.
She was avoiding his gaze again, and he didn’t like it.
“Why’d you leave?” he asked with a dangerous bite.
With her arms above her head, she still managed to shrug. “Got bored.”
He let out a bitter laugh. “Nay, I don’t believe that one. Try again, Rosie.”
He watched her wince.
She’d made a mistake in telling him he could call her that. She’d given him permission to wield such a heavy word, and in doing so, she’d given him hope she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
Her goodbye hadn’t been empty, but filled with emotion. Alister didn’t think he had been alone in his feelings; at least, he didn’t want to believe he was.
He wanted her to admit to it.
He wanted her to admit she left because she was afraid, just so he could tell her he’d chased her all this way because he understood. He wanted her to tell him she loved him so he could be free to tell her the same.
Because... Alister was deeply petrified of showing his vulnerability, just to find out he was wrong. If he told her what had driven him to find her and she laughed at him, scorned him, it would shatter his stone heart.
He wanted to know she felt the same, so he knew he wasn’t alone in this. If he was, then he had been the biggest fool.
He would have no one else to blame but himself.
She may feel something, but if it wasn’t as deep as what he’d come to discover inside himself, then he had been an idiot for coming here.
He wasn’t sure.
In Tortaya, the way she had so easily accepted him with other women, would have accepted other men, and had sent a woman to his lap... Looking back on that had been difficult. She hadn’t seemed to care, and it meant she may never have.
She had started sleeping in his hammock, but that had been because she was cold since it’d been winter. She knew he wouldn’t have accepted it if she’d slept with anyone else for warmth, even if it was Naeem.
He hadn’t known it then, but he’d allowed her to occupy his space because he’d liked her being in it.
She didn’t say anything for a long time, thinking to herself while he’d been lost in his own thoughts.
“You got me drunk, locked down my ship, stole my ring, and left in the middle of the night without a fucking word, Rosetta. I came here to find out why.”
The more he spoke, listing what she had done, the more his nose crinkled and his blood pumped in rage. She left me! Made him chase after her for seven months!
She drank in his anger and wielded it for herself, like she needed it for courage. Her head turned to give him a direct glare of narrowed eyes.
“Why should I have stayed? The sex may have been good, Alister, but why should I have stuck around for a stupid, arrogant man who yelled at me whenever I didn’t do what he told me?
” His head reared back in surprise, and hers came forward in determination.
“You always treated me less because I was a woman! Why would I have stuck around for that?”
Shit. That was hurtful.
He grabbed her beneath her jaw, wrapping his hand around her neck to hold her still. He bent his head over her with a snarled expression.
“I may be arrogant, but I stopped seeing you as something less than me a long time ago.” His gaze flickered between her eyes, making sure he held her stare completely. “I have respected you as a captain since that storm that separated us. I treated you like my equal and I showed you that!”
How dare she try to twist something good he knew he’d done into something nasty?!
“You kept punishing me for stepping off my ship!”
“Because it was fun! Taking you on a ship we’d destroyed together or raided...” Well, it had started to become the highlight for him.
When there was something they could attack on the horizon, Alister knew he’d bend her over something on it and take her with brutal thrusts. If the ship had been sinking, it put a time limit on what they were doing, making him even more excited.
When her face didn’t change in surprise or confusion, his lips thinned in annoyance.
“You knew it, too.” The rest of her words may have been truthful, but the ending had been a lie, and he almost hadn’t noticed.
It was obvious she was going to keep lying to him.
He knew she wasn’t aware of the battle inside him, how her reactions were making those tentacles squeeze around his heart, crushing it.
It hurt so badly, it made his lungs feel dry, like he couldn’t breathe.
What did I do wrong? Even if he hadn’t realised what he had been feeling, he knew he’d done things that often confused him.
Wanting to count coin with her. Having her lie on his chest because she’d been unwell. Taking her to bed alone in port and then caring for her afterwards. Letting her always get her way and leaving him scratching his head afterwards, unsure of why he’d yielded.
Alister had shared with her the story of his father. I even told her who my mother was. If she had been anyone else, he would have backed out of that room and left them with unanswered questions, but he’d trusted her.
He trusted her more than any of his crew.
“Why do you even care that I left?” She started squirming beneath him, as though she wanted nothing more than to be free. “It’s been seven months. Go back to the port girls and prostitutes you’ve been taking and leave me the hell alone!”
A dark chuckle fell from his lips as he raised his hand and pointed his forefinger at her, shaking it up and down.
“I knew you’d bring this up.” He continued to chuckle – despite the fact it lost its humour with each roll. “That if I did, you’d use it against me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she sneered.
“I haven’t fucked another woman since I met you!” he roared so loudly, she winced.
Her eyelids fluttered in surprise, her bottom lip falling slightly. “Y-you’re lying,” she stammered, her gaze darting around, as though she couldn’t handle the intensity of his stare.
“Nay.” He felt her hands suddenly tighten within his grip as he held them down. “Only lass I’ve been with is you since you abandoned me in Dunecaster.”
Even back then, he’d been too focused on getting his ship back.
There had also been something about watching her sail away, the back of his own ship heading further and further into the distance.
It had stopped him from taking a woman then, simply because he’d been so turned on by her brazen deceit that he’d wanted to take it out on her, punish her.
Realisation settled into his entire being. He let out a huff of laughter as he shook his head. I’ve bloody liked her from the beginning.
He’d liked Rosetta from the moment she’d stolen his ship, simply because she’d had the audacity to do it.
“Well, I have,” she said quietly, turning her head to the side and looking at the wall with shame.
Just like that, Alister felt like he’d been gutted with a knife. Still, he leaned a little closer and slid his hand between her cheek and the bed to cup it gently. He let his thumb brush over it once.
“Aye, I thought you might,” he said softly, and she cringed. Even her legs tensed beside him.
He’d known it was a possibility, one he’d prepared himself for. He despised it, but she had chosen to sail away.
In her mind, why would she have kept to herself?
He’d needed to accept it before he came to her because he hadn’t reacted well when he’d originally had this realisation. He’d almost shot someone in his rage. Yet he’d acknowledged it and still came here for her.
I want her. The more she continued to talk, saying things as if she wanted to extinguish the fiery yearning he had for her, the more he wanted to know if she still wanted him at all.
He should have released her by now. What she had told him was damning enough for him to walk away and know it was hopeless, but he didn’t want to.
She’d kissed him back before. He thought maybe he just needed to spark her back to him after so long.
With desperation and determination clinging to him, Alister slid his hand around the nape of her neck and once more crashed his lips to hers.
Her reaction was instant.
Rosetta’s lips moved beneath his like she couldn’t help herself. A flutter of hope swirled in his gut. He refused to let her break away when she tried, holding her still as he deepened the press of his mouth.
By the third time their lips moved over each other’s, she made the little mewl she used to give him when he knew she was enjoying it. When her eyes closed and she gave him another, Alister’s body felt heavy after a wild shudder rolled through him.
He pulled back, seeing a subtle flush of arousal had already pinkened her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. It even reddened her chest as she huffed with shallow pants.
His grin grew and lifted his cheeks as it spread, becoming wider when she peeked her eyes open with that softness she’d occasionally gifted to him.
There was no denying it. Despite the reason she’d run from him, Rosetta still wanted him. She’d given him what he needed. I’m not backing down. If this was the way he needed to do it, then so be it.