Chapter 20 #2
Reaching into his pocket, Khazak pulls out a small key.
Then, reaching forward into my shirt, he pulls out my collar.
I’ve gotten so used to wearing it that I almost forgot about it.
Holding the padlock in his hand, he slides the key in and turns, the lock opening with a click.
Sliding the chain off my neck, he gathers it in his hand, meeting the two ends of the chain again and closing the lock once more.
“I want you to keep this.” He places the chain collar in my hand. “To remember me by.”
“I couldn’t forget you if I wanted to.” I lean forward to wrap my arms around him in a hug. “Thank you. For everything. You’ve done so much for me, and I...” Say it, dammit. TELL HIM! “...I’m just really going to miss this place and you.” Coward.
“I am going to miss you too.” His voice rumbles in my ear, and I can only squeeze him tighter.
We stand there holding each other for a while, probably way too long, but I just can’t bring myself to end it.
Ending it means leaving, and I just want to stay.
I keep hoping for something to happen, for Khazak to ask me, hell, order me to.
Anything to keep me here. But of course he doesn’t. He can’t.
“What about the uh,” I point back and forth between us after we finally release each other, “rest of the avakesh thing. The paperwork?” Sad wood.
“I will take care of signing the papers to release you myself,” he assures me. “No need to worry.”
“Great,” I lie.
The two of us finished, Khazak signals to the guards to open the gates. With a final wave to everyone, the five of us gather together, ready to leave. I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with anyone, my vision already starting to blur as the water builds up.
“What, you gonna miss your—OWW!” Nate doubles over after taking my fist to his stomach.
“That’s for getting us in this fucking mess in the first place.”
I move in front, leading my team out of the city gates. If anyone else notices me crying, they don’t say anything.
We make pretty good time that first day.
It’s hard at first to not constantly look back at the city as it fades from sight, but the farther away we are, the easier it gets.
It takes us a few hours, but once we’re far enough northeast of the city, we find the trail we’re looking for and make a brief stop to eat the sandwiches Rurig packed for us for lunch. Then it is right back to walking.
We stop to set up camp a couple of hours before sunset, just on the outskirts of a forest. Normally, we would push a little farther, but seeing as this is more walking than most of us have done in months, we could use the break.
There’s a river nearby, so after we get the tents up and start a fire, Adam and I grab the fishing poles and try to catch some dinner.
We don’t really need it, we have more than enough rations, plus more food from Rurig, but I haven’t been able to see my best friend one-on-one in months.
We find a good spot, throw our lines in the water, and just talk.
There’s a little bit of awkwardness, only for a second, and then it’s gone and we’re like two friends who just got back from separate long trips.
Adam tells me stories about his time in the work camp and the people he met there, and I tell him about some of the work I did with the rangers.
It must be at least an hour before we start hitting on anything serious.
“So, what was it like?” Adam asks after a lull in the conversation. “Dying.”
“Scary,” I answer after thinking about it for a moment. “Because you know it’s happening, and you know you can’t stop it. I remember feeling sad too. Sad about the things I wouldn’t get to do.” That you still didn’t do when you came back.
“When they first told us what happened to you, we didn’t really believe them.” Adam looks over to me. “Not until we saw the scar, and even then... Dying and being brought back to life? I needed to hear it from you before it really sunk in.”
“I don’t blame you. I still don’t really believe it myself.” I’m not sure I know who or what I really am right now. “What if there’s something wrong with me?”
“We’ll figure it out because we’re a team.” He nudges me in the shoulder. “You know, not to ignore how dark and fucked up everything has been for the two months, but...we have a real goal now. An actual mission.”
“A mission that doesn’t pay.” Aren’t I so helpful?
“We’ll figure it out,” he repeats himself. “Remember what we said at the start of the year? We came out here because we wanted to explore the world and discover something amazing. And now we’re doing it man. That’s pretty fucking cool.”
“I guess you’re right.” Adam has a way of turning anything into a positive. “Just would have been nice if it didn’t require me dying.”
“Yeah, you pulled the short straw there, I guess.” Adam chuckles. “So... You wanna talk about Captain Ironstorm and why you keep touching that necklace in your pocket?”
I freeze at Adam’s question, though when I glance over at him, he’s giving no indication that he’s asked me anything remotely interesting. He looks downright bored. Still, I release the collar and pull my hand out of my pocket. I didn’t even realize I was doing that.
“I, uh...” Fuck, stop stammering. “Why don’t you tell me what you guys heard, and I can fill in the blanks?”
“Okay, yeah.” Adam doesn’t look all that surprised by my answer. “Well, Corrine and Nate told us about you challenging him to the fight. It wasn’t until later that we found out the whole thing ended in sex.”
My face heats up, and I can’t bring myself to look over at Adam.
“It scared us since it sounded like you were being forced, but then a couple of the guards threw us some taunts about how much you liked it.” Assholes.
“We were still pretty worried until we saw you the day of the trial. You seemed okay, and Ironstorm—Khazak—didn’t seem like a monster, so we didn’t really know what to think.
After we were released, when you were still unconscious, he wouldn’t leave the side of your bed.
Even when he had to, he always made sure someone else was there in case you woke up.
I don’t think I even saw him eating or sleeping all that much. ”
“He did all that?” The info causes a burst of warmth in my chest.
“Yeah.” Adam nods. “It seemed like you guys had gotten pretty close.”
“We did, eventually.” I take a deep breath before I start.
“Everything you heard was basically true, even the forced part. The thing is, that ritual I challenged him to hasn’t been used to solve criminal issues in like, decades.
It’s used by couples already in relationships.
Information Redwish kept from me, while at the same time telling Khazak I did know, trying to convince him to accept. ”
“Why’d he do that?” Adam asks. “Do you think it was part of their plans in the temple?”
“No, they weren’t expecting me to be out there that night.” I shake my head. “I think he just thought it was funny.”
“Asshole.” Adam’s cursing makes me smirk.
“Agreed,” I continue, nodding. “The first few days were rough. He did not make things easy for me, and I fought him at every turn, but eventually they settled down, and we found some sort of mutual respect. At least until... Do you remember your last night in the jail cell before being moved to the labor camp? When I came to see you in the middle of the night?”
“Oh yeah, what the hell was that about?” Adam looks confused. “I thought I dreamed that.”
“Well, I was sorta...trying to break you guys out.” I duck my head sheepishly.
“What?!” Adam booms out with a laugh. “You did what?”
“So first, I drugged Khazak with some hypnograss and stole his keys.” Adam’s eyes go wide.
“Then I climbed the wall around the jail—which they rigged with alarms now, by the way—and tried to get you out of the cell. Except you had been moved to a cell inside days before. I got caught right after that, and that’s when I was brought in for that late night visit. I wanted proof that you were all okay.”
“Well, I appreciate the thought,” he chuckles, “but I can’t imagine that worked out well for you.”
“Yeah, he was pissed. We had a huge fight.” I grimace, remembering the next day.
“But it got us to actually talk about stuff, which is when we figured out that we had both been tricked by Redwish. He felt so terrible—still does—but after some more talking, we came to an agreement for the rest of my stay. And then, like you said, we...got close.” I pause, feeling bashful again.
“I swear, it wasn’t that I was trying to hide something from everyone, or at least I didn’t want to hide anything, but I was worried about what everyone would think, and it’s not like there was ever a good time to—”
“David, hey.” Adam’s hand on my arm stops my nervous rambling. “It’s okay. I get it. You’re not the only one who’s gotten close with another guy.”
What? I have to look over at Adam three times before I’m sure I heard him correctly.
“Remember Rich Fullbrush?” I nod in response. Rich was a former schoolmate and knight-in-training who I thought was going to kiss me, right before he threw up all over my shoes. “Once, during a party, when he was really drunk, he kissed me.”
“I knew it,” I whisper.
“It made me realize it didn’t really matter to me if the person I was kissing was a man or a woman,” he finishes, scrunching up his face. “It also tasted like he just got done throwing up.”
“Gross.” I avoid gloating about the fact that his vomit-flavored mouth means Rich tried to kiss me first..
.for now. “With the way everything went down, it was like I couldn’t avoid or ignore it anymore.
I just had to accept it. Then, because everyone I knew was far away or in jail, it was like I got to be this whole other person.
Someone who didn’t have to worry about what anyone else would think. ”