Chapter 8
Goldie
A lightning bolt of shock shoots down my spine. “What the hell does that mean?” I whisper-scream the question, trying to figure out just what it is that’s making my heart pound so hard. Fear that this man may be legitimately insane and dangerous? Fury at myself for putting my daughter and me in this situation? Unhinged desire at hearing him say he’s my Daddy ? Not Dad but Daddy . All three?
There is something seriously wrong with me, being distracted by that instead of his wildly inappropriate and delusional claim that he is somehow…“Just because you were there at her birth, that doesn’t mean you’re Lily’s father, legally or otherwise.”
His eyes tighten, and he shifts on his feet without responding.
I watch Davis, looking for signs that he may go careening over the edge of sanity after having challenged him. My mind flicks to the gun I stole, wishing I knew where he hid it, but then my stomach drops when I remember it would be useless anyway without any bullets.
With increasing apprehension, I ask, “You do know that, right?”
His pupils dilate to swallow his green irises. Finally, he answers. “I may have lost my mind at the hospital, but there’s no taking it back now.”
“What does that mean? You ‘lost your mind’? What did you do?”
Davis blinks fast, his authoritative and defensive demeanor slowly dissolving into something I can’t read. “You didn’t fill out the birth certificate with Colton’s information.”
“Yeah…and?” My hands fist at my sides. As if I needed the reminder.
Davis clicks his tongue, his eyes darting back and forth between mine.
I tap my foot with impatience the longer he drags this out. Finally, my blood turns red-hot. “Answer me right now,” I whisper-hiss. “What. Did. You. Do?” My muscles coil, readying to launch myself at him depending on what he says next.
Davis’s chest puffs out as he drags in a deep breath, then exhales in a rush to say, “I filled it out with my information. As far as the law goes, and until someone challenges it in court and orders me to take a DNA test, Lily is mine.” He taps his calla lily tattoo on his left pec and doubles down. “Blood or no blood, she’s mine,” he says fiercely.
“You did what?” My chest heaves like I’m about to breathe out fire like the blue dragon in my favorite fantasy book, ready to burn him alive. I sound like a feral animal when I growl, haul my arm back, and slap the ever-loving shit out of his face before either of us can blink. “Why the fuck would you do that? Are you crazy?” That last one is a rhetorical question because clearly, he is.
Davis presses his hand to the side I slapped, sets his jaw, and says the last thing I could have expected. “And it’s a damn good thing I did because now she’s covered by my health insurance.”
I stop in the middle of hauling my hand back, ready to slap his other cheek. I cock my head to the side, sucking back the fire, my belly fluttering. “She is?” Holy shit. My heart beats faster with the bizarre mix of emotions. The fury is still there…and…and what else? Gratitude? Am I just as crazy as him? “That’s…” I struggle with what to say.
“Illegal? Incredibly fucked up? I know.” Davis rubs his cheek and eyes my hand still raised in the air. He lowers his voice, losing the biting edge. “I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. At least, not about this.”
I finally lower my hand to my side and study him, my fury ebbing. I have no idea how I’m going to pay our hospital bills yet, and something soft settles inside my chest at the thought that Lily’s portion won’t be nearly as high. “No, I was going to say that’s, um, nice of you.”
“Nice of me?” Davis has the gall to look at me like I’m mental when he’s the one who belongs in an asylum or jail for the extremes he’s taken to keep his vow to take care of us. “I tell you that I fraudulently claimed I’m Lily’s father, and you think I’m being nice ? You’re just as crazy as me.”
“Fuck you, Davis!” This time, I follow through and slap his untouched cheek. “I’m not crazy!” I totally am.
“Goddamnit, woman, quit slapping me.” Davis hauls me up with his hands around my waist and throws me on the bed beside my bags.
I suck in a pained breath when I land on my back, my abdomen still so tender. I press my hands to my lower belly and draw my knees up, rolling onto my side in the fetal position.
Davis’s face goes stark white. “Fuck, Goldie, I’m so sorry.” He climbs on the bed to sit on his knees and leans over me, bracing one hand on the mattress and hovering the other above my middle, though he doesn’t touch me. “Are you ok?”
“No, I’m not ok!” I curl up smaller and close my eyes.
“Oh, fuck,” Davis hisses under his breath before he slips an arm under my knees and the other under my back, pulling me sideways on his lap when he shifts to sit on the edge of the bed. He presses a kiss to my temple. “I’m so fucking sorry I threw you on the bed, baby. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I’m so stunned by the roller coaster of our altercation that I don’t even try to slap him again. My emotions are all over the place as he slips his shaking hand under my T-shirt to palm my bare, sore stomach. When I tip my head back to look at him, devastation is written all over his face.
My heart aches at the sight, and I slide a hand to the nape of his neck. “It’s ok,” I say with a whisper. “It was just for a minute. I’m ok now.”
He shakes his head and sniffles as he meets my eyes. “What I did…Don’t tell me it’s ok because it’s not, baby. Nothing about what I’ve done is ok.”
Davis
I’m a cretin. A dirty, rotten bastard, because when Goldie tips her head back after slipping her fingers into my hair, consoling me , I slowly lean in and kiss her as I pull her higher up my lap. My dick twitches at the feel of her plump ass pressing down against it. She pants and wiggles side to side after discovering how my body has inappropriately responded to her.
“I…fuck. I’m sorry. I have to go,” I say with growing panic, and I slide Goldie off my lap to the side. I dart into my closet to grab my duffel bag, which I hadn’t unpacked the night before, and then throw my cell phone and charger inside before hoisting it over my shoulder.
Goldie slowly stands and twists her hands together. “What are you doing?”
“I have to leave, baby.” I can’t stand the way her face falls. I pull her in for a quick kiss and immediately let go, stumbling back. “See? I can’t control myself when it comes to you. I have to go.”
She inches forward and tries to lay her hand on my chest. “You don’t have to. Really. We can talk this out.”
I step back toward the bedroom door. “Goldie, please. I do. I do.” I catch sight of the cradle next to the bed, and my heart seizes in my chest. Goldie’s not the only one I have to leave. I drop my bag at my feet and kneel beside the cradle to scoop Lily up, carefully supporting her head. I kiss her crown, inhaling the scent of her baby shampoo, before I lower her back down. “Be good for your mama, Lily Jo. I—” love you . I do. Somehow, I already do. I clutch my left pec, acid burning me up from the inside out as I stand and grab my bag.
Goldie is holding back tears, and I hate myself as I step around her and jog to the front of the house. I grab my billfold and the keys to Dad’s Buick from the wooden console table against the wall by the front door, then stuff my bare feet in my boots. I’m truly a coward because I can’t even face Goldie when she shuffles to my side.
Since Lily’s car seat is installed in my truck, I push the keys to the Ford toward her. “Do you know how to drive?” I ask without looking directly at her. From the corner of my eye, I see her nod. “Good. Use my truck whenever you want.” I rifle through my billfold, looking for my health insurance card, and place it on the table next to the keys. I drop my credit card and all the cash I have on hand as well. “You’ll need this for Lily’s pediatric appointments. I, uh, I saved your phone number after I texted you the picture at the hospital. I’ll call my insurance when I’m on the road. Make sure she’s added to my plan, and I’ll text you the info.”
“Davis…”
I drop my head back on my shoulders when Goldie rests her hand on my belly and rubs her thumb back and forth. Since I hadn’t stopped to throw on a shirt before leaving the bedroom, the heat of her palm on my bare skin sends a shiver of desire up and down my spine, the intimacy of the contact making my dick swell.
“Please don’t go. Not like this.”
Because I can’t control myself when it comes to her, I twist and pull her against me with one arm around her shoulders. She slides both hands around my waist and drops her forehead to the middle of my chest.
I press a kiss to the crown of her head, and my nostrils flare. She smells like me. My shampoo and soap, and my dick twitches against her stomach. Her newly postpartum stomach . I jerk my hips back. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I have to.”
Her little puffs of warm breath leave me wanting to tip her head back and sink my tongue in her mouth, then push her down to her knees and find out just how warm her mouth would be around my cock. This is why I have to leave .
Thankfully, she banishes the urge when she whispers against my skin, “When will you be back?”
“I…I don’t know. Maybe when I can learn to control myself.”
“Davis, please.”
I shake my head silently before stepping out of reach, forcing her to drop her hands. I walk out of the house in just my pajama pants and boots, the automatic flood lights flicking on, casting eerie shadows from the trees surrounding my property.
It breaks my heart to see Goldie leaning against the front doorframe after I get the Buick started, hugging herself to ward off the icy chill. I drape my arm behind the passenger seat and finally tear my eyes away from her to look over my shoulder as I back down the driveway.
I slam on the brakes before I make it halfway to the road.