Chapter 12 Jackson
JACKSON
Jealousy wasn’t really something I’d experienced before Aiden.
Even when I suspected Melodie was sleeping with other men, I’d felt disappointed and hurt but not quite jealous.
By the time I met her and Aiden, I’d grown up in a cruel world where I never truly trusted anyone, even the day I said my wedding vows.
That skepticism of people’s “goodness” had kept me alive longer than most Marines I knew. Trust got men killed. Attachment made them reckless.
But Aiden had somehow slipped past every wall I’d built without me even realizing it was happening.
And jealousy weighed heavily in my chest as we entered a gay-friendly pub next door that the motel’s front desk clerk had told us had half-off on Wednesdays.
The place was crowded and loud, filled with the clinking of glasses, bursts of laughter, and music.
The smell of fried food, stale beer, and cigarette smoke hung thick in the air, making me hang back and question whether this was really the place I was taking Aiden on our first “date.”
He’d insisted it was a date even when I’d told him on our walk over to stop calling it that. I wanted our first time to be somewhere special and memorable. Not a hole in the wall with stains on the floor and mismatched booths.
Aiden didn’t seem to be bothered by any of it. He walked ahead of me toward an empty booth near the back, swishing his hips and completely oblivious to the way heads turned and eyes stared at his bare legs when he passed.
Or maybe he wasn’t oblivious at all.
He always loved standing out and bringing attention to himself, and he did just that in the dress he’d bought earlier.
How he’d managed to turn something oversized and simple into something sexy blew my mind.
The belt he’d bought for practically nothing cinched around his waist so tight, it emphasized just how extremely slim he was there.
The fabric flirted around his pale thighs, leaving his legs bare, and had heads turning the second we walked into the pub.
People noticed him.
Fuck, did they notice.
Men looked up from their drinks when he walked past. Women stared too. Aiden moved through the room like he was born for attention, completely at ease under every lingering glance, while I stayed half a step behind him, painfully aware of the scar tissue stretching across the side of my face.
I still wasn’t used to that part.
Before the explosion, I’d never thought twice about my appearance.
I hadn’t ever been striking, but I’d been good-looking enough to have my choice of partners.
Now I noticed every flicker of surprise when strangers did a double-take after seeing me.
I saw every momentary hesitation before they corrected their expression.
Standing in Aiden’s orbit only made the contrast between us worse. He was beautiful in a way that pulled people in instantly, while I looked like something fire had tried and failed to finish destroying.
Could anyone else tell he wasn’t wearing a stitch under that dress?
As though sensing me falling behind, Aiden reached his hand out and glanced over his shoulder at me with a smile that made my breath catch in my throat.
Of all the people in that pub, that smile was only for me.
I took his hand to reassure him I was still with him, and we walked the rest of the way to the booth.
Aiden sat and pulled me down next to him.
I was conflicted, wishing I was opposite him so I could look at his face all night, but also enjoying how tightly he pressed himself to my side, although there was plenty of space in the booth.
When I released his hand, he planted it on my thigh like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. He was basically bouncing beside me.
Had the men he usually associated with not treated him well, that he got excited at being taken to a rundown pub?
“Why are you so happy?” I couldn’t refrain from asking.
“Are you kidding me?” He swiveled his head around, his smile even brighter in his face. With no makeup on, his freckles stood on and made him look adorably sweet and so fucking young.
I cringed thinking about some of the things I’d done to him in that cabin.
If I didn’t go to Hell for the lives I’d taken in my job, I was sure to get a first-class ticket there for touching him.
“We’re no longer lost in the fucking desert,” he continued. “And I get to spend one more night with you. Plus, by the looks I’m getting tonight, if I play my cards right, dinner is on me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” My back had snapped ramrod straight, and I frowned at him.
“It means that even without the makeup and designer clothes, I still got it. I can get us drinks on the house and—”
“No.”
“Huh?” He genuinely looked confused at my bark.
“I’m not going to prostitute you for stale beer and some burgers.”
“I wasn’t going to have sex with them. Whenever I go to pubs, I get drinks all the time. That doesn’t mean I sleep with everyone.”
“I said no, Aiden.” I took his chin in my hand, his wince telling me I was holding him too tight, but I didn’t ease the pressure. “You may not sleep with them, but your taking drinks from them gives them the impression that you are available.”
“And I’m not?” He blinked up at me from big blue eyes and fluttered his lashes.
“I see someone wants a spanking.” I released him and got to my feet. “Stay there and—” And what? Try not to not look that beautiful? That tempting? That sexy? I scowled. “Just stay there and don’t move a muscle.”
“Yes, Daddy,” he said sweetly with a dimpled smile that didn’t fool me in the least.
For good measure, I leaned forward and kissed him hard, claiming him in front of the room. I, who never enjoyed too much PDA in the past, gave him a proper kiss with some tongue action before I released him. Aiden slumped against the booth, looking dazed.
Good.
At the bar, I ordered us food, collected our drinks, and took them back to the table. Aiden was shimmying his shoulders to the music, unbothered by the stare of the patron at the table across from us.
I slid into the booth next to him and handed Aiden his drink. “Here you go. Food should be here in a few.”
Aiden said something like thanks, but I was too focused on the man across from us, scowling as hard as I could at him when his eyes met mine. He quickly glanced away, but I hardly felt satisfied.
“Jackson, you’re not listening to me.”
I dragged my attention back to the boy tugging at my shirt sleeve. “Sorry. What was that?”
“Are you going to spend all night glaring at everyone else? How about you pay attention to me instead?”
“I can’t help it. Do men usually stare at you like this?”
“Pretty much.” He shrugged. “It’s no big deal once they’re not harassing me.”
“Men harass you?”
He took a sip of his beer and made a face. “Gah, this tastes terrible.”
I reached for his beer mug. “I’ll get you something else.”
He pulled back the mug. “I’m still going to drink it. It doesn’t matter.”
I shifted, throwing my arm over the back of the booth. “You were saying something about men harassing you?”
“I wasn’t. Don’t really want to talk about it. Just know that your version of complaining about the way I dress, walk, talk—basically exist—is light compared to other things I’ve heard outside the home.”
The air got sucked right out of my lungs, and my heart skipped a beat. A deep sense of shame settled into my gut as his words hit home. Not just from strangers. Not from assholes in bars or men yelling things from passing cars.
His comparison implied there’d been someone inside the home, too, to give him a hard time.
Me.
Aiden took another sip of the beer despite the frown that caused his lips to droop.
He was right.
Maybe I’d never put my hands on him in anger or tried to scare him into being someone else.
But I’d criticized him enough. The clothes.
The makeup. The way he walked into a room and commanded its attention.
I’d acted like his existence itself was something unpleasant that needed correcting, and all because I’d been too frightened of how much I noticed him—wanted him.
The world outside had already been trying to beat it out of him and home should have been the one place where he could feel safe enough to be himself. Instead, I judged him there too.
“Aiden…” My voice came out rough enough that he finally glanced at me properly. “Why didn’t you tell me people were treating you like that?”
He gave another shrug, but this one looked forced. “Because it’s not exactly new. You get used to it after a while.”
You get used to it.
He said it so casually, as if harassment were just another thing he expected to live with, and it shouldn’t be.
I reached across the table and took his hand before I could stop myself. His fingers stilled against mine in surprise as I turned his hand over and pressed a kiss against his knuckles.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
Aiden blinked at me. “For what?”
“For being an asshole to you these past couple of years.” I held his hand tighter when he tried to pull away dismissively.
“No, it wasn’t okay. I paid a lot of attention to you, more than I liked, but instead of confronting what the true reason was, I took it out on you and made it about you when it was me being a pervy old man. ”
His expression softened slightly. “You’re not old.”
“But we agree I’m pervy for lusting after you even though you’re my stepson?”
“Well, that I don’t mind. You already know that.”
“Even so, what I did was wrong. I should have never made home feel unsafe for you, and that’s exactly what I did. I might not have had any idea how people treated you outside, but that’s not an excuse for my own actions.”
For once, Aiden didn’t immediately joke or deflect. He just looked at me for a long moment, his thumb brushing lightly over my wrist.
“You really mean that?” he asked softly. “Because the truth is, it didn’t bother me when other people did it, but every time you said those horrible things to me, it really hurt. I thought you hated me because I was gay.”
“Oh, baby, I’ve fucked up so badly with you, haven’t I?” I used my thumb to swipe away a single tear he couldn’t quite hold back. “I can’t take back the things I said or the damage I did then, but I promise you I’ll make it up to you, supporting you in whatever you do from now on.”
A slow smile spread across his face then, smaller than his usual ones but somehow more genuine. “I’ll hold you to it, Marine.”
“Please do. Never let me get away with treating you like crap because you deserve to be treated like the prince you are.”
The waitress arrived before he could say anything else, setting down our plates between us.
Aiden had the only vegetable-heavy option on the menu.
A garden salad with grilled chicken looked unappetizing.
He barely touched his meal, but I caught him staring longingly at my plate stacked high with a double cheeseburger and a mountain of fries.
“You want a bite?” I offered.
His eyes flicked up guiltily before he shook his head. “No. I’m fine.”
“Deni.”
“Maybe a fry.” He stole one of my fries before leaning closer to me, his expression turning mischievous again.
“This pub isn’t exactly offering a bottom-friendly feast, and with this being my last night alone with you and all, I’m not taking any chances.
If I’m still conscious tonight, it means I haven’t had enough of your dick. ”