Chapter 14 Jackson
JACKSON
Something was going on with my wife, but I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.
Since Aiden and I returned home, Melodie was more present in both our lives than she’d ever been before.
Even before the breakdown of our marriage, we’d always given each other space to explore our hobbies outside of each other, but lately, she seemed to want to always be together so I had little time to engage with Aiden, and that was frustrating.
Only a week passed since returning but I could already feel Aiden pulling back.
It was subtle at first and easy to miss, which thankfully Melodie did, but I was trained to watch for irregularities, and I’d seen it in the lack of his smile and the way his shoulders seemed to droop a little more each day.
I didn’t like it.
So I started paying attention to his routine.
Aiden’s routine was predictable, so it wasn’t hard to stage running into him.
He’d come home from work at six, head straight to the kitchen, complaining about how his breaks were too short to eat properly.
Since he had lunch at twelve, he was starving by the time he got off.
He’d open the fridge like it had personally offended him and then picked out the ingredients to make the same ham and cheese sandwich.
Today, I made sure I was there before him.
I leaned against the counter, arms folded, trying to look like I hadn’t timed this down to the minute. The sandwich sat on a plate beside me, wrapped neatly, made exactly the way he liked it.
I heard the front door open, and my eyes drifted to the kitchen clock. He was right on time. I straightened up, my stomach doing flips like I was an excited schoolgirl about to run into my crush.
Aiden walked into the kitchen, and my breath stuttered out of my lungs.
He was dressed in a pair of white skinny jeans that looked painted on, every step stretching the fabric over those slender legs I knew too well.
A simple white top with embroidered detailing on the collar was tucked into the jeans.
The thin brown belt, the same tan color as his fitted blazer and strappy heels, drew attention to how narrow his waist was.
He was stunning even after working a ten-hour shift. I couldn’t help staring at him, fully aware that every man who’d seen him that day had probably done the same thing.
Oh boy, did I have a crush, alright. I was amazed I’d been lying to myself so well these past two years.
Aiden pulled up short when he saw me, his lips stretching into a smile that instantly dimmed as he searched the kitchen, presumably for his mother. When he saw that I was alone, the smile returned, but wasn’t as bright as before.
“Hey,” he said, sounding breathless. “Where’s Mom?”
“Still working in the office but—”
He was on me in a flash, arms twining around my neck, and legs wrapped around my waist. I placed a hand on his back and the other on his ass to steady him.
I anticipated a kiss and was shocked when all he did was to bury his face into my neck and cling to me like he wanted me to make space for him inside my skin.
A tremor rippled down his back along with a half-sob that fired off warning signals through my brain.
“Hey, hey. What’s wrong? Did something happen to you at work?”
He shook his head and inhaled deeply. “Let’s just run away together.”
The desperation in his voice sent a sharp wave of panic through me. I was used to Aiden being feisty, fighting back when something bothered him. He armed himself with sarcasm or flirtation, and hearing him sound this fragile made my stomach tighten.
“Aiden, you know we can’t.”
“I can’t take this anymore. I can’t touch you. I can’t kiss you. This is too hard.”
“Baby, there’s—”
“Jackson, honey!”
Fuck.
Footsteps sounded way too close to the kitchen. Aiden’s arms tightened around my neck, and I had to pry them loose. I’d barely managed to set him on his feet when Melodie swept into the kitchen, her messy bun half falling to the side.
“Oh, Aiden, you’re already home!” She said, moving toward me. “How was work, sweetie?”
“It’s been a long day,” Aiden said, his voice hoarse. He didn’t quite hide how close to tears he was, and I felt like scum that I couldn’t go to him and hug him like I wanted to.
“Oh god, Aiden, please don’t tell me you’re going to quit another job.
” Melodie took up the plate with the sandwich, and my heart sank.
How did I tell her that the sandwich I’d made was for her son, and not for her?
“You’re basically an adult, honey. You can’t expect your stepdad to support you all your life.
You’re very lucky he had no problem buying you new gadgets after the fire with the RV was your fault. ”
“My fault?” Aiden glanced at me, his eyes accusatory. “You told her it was my fault?”
“Aiden—”
“Thanks a lot.”
His face changed right in front of me, like something inside him cracked open. The soft vulnerability from earlier vanished, replaced by a flash of anger which I knew so well. His brows drew together slightly, and his lips parted, then pressed together again, his jaw tightening.
His eyes shone glassy and bright with unshed tears.
“You know, Aiden, I’m starting to feel like I’ve taken your side one time too often. You have a rotten attitude toward your stepdad, especially after he was so nice as to replace your things. Did you even tell him thank you?”
“That’s not necessary,” I said quickly.
“No, she’s right.” Aiden gave me a mocking nod. “Thank you for being such a loving stepfather to me, even when I don’t deserve it. We all know you’ve gone above and beyond to please me lately.”
The words hit me like a slap.
My head snapped toward Melodie, a jolt running through me so sharp that my spine felt locked in place. For a split second, I just stared at her, my pulse kicking hard. How could she not hear it? Aiden practically telling her we were involved sexually?
Melodie, oblivious to the double entendre, picked up the sandwich I’d made. “That’s more like it, Aiden. It won’t kill you to be a bit more grateful.”
“Of course not. From now on, I’ll try to bend over backward—or however stepdad wants me—to please him.” He turned his back to me, his chin set in defiance, but I saw the way his bottom lip wobbled. “I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me to atone for how much of a horrible stepson I am.”
Aiden.
My mouth parted to call him, but no sound came out. Melodie dropped the sandwich back onto the plate. “Is this what you made? This isn’t filling. I’ll make you dinner. Okay, sweetie?”
Her words seemed genuine as though my disappearance had changed her for the better and she wanted to work on our marriage, but I saw it.
I saw the way she winced when made to kiss my lips but I averted my ahead, and her lips landed on my cheek.
On the side that was scarred. From my peripheral vision, I saw the way her lips pulled back in disgust before she turned her back to me to hide it.
What game is she playing? One minute she acts as if she wants me, and another she’s repelled by me? Her actions weren’t adding up.
“That sounds good,” I said.
“Do you think I was a bit too harsh on Aiden just now?” she asked, her back to me. “Something about him has changed since he returned.”
“He faced a life-or-death situation, Melodie. Cut him some slack.”
“At least the therapist’s advice worked.” She walked to the fridge and opened the freezer. “You and Aiden aren’t bickering anymore, and you’re even defending him.”
“I’m not defending him. Just pointing out the facts.”
Did she somehow suspect what was going on between us?
No way. I’d been careful since returning.
So careful I’d kept Aiden at a distance when I didn’t even need to.
We lived under the same roof. It was only natural that we would run into each other sometime, that we would have something to talk about, yet I avoided him like he had the plague.
“I suppose you’re right. Do you mind checking up on him for me while I get started on dinner? Call it mother’s intuition, but I can’t get the feeling out of my gut that something’s wrong.”
Well, as long as she’s the one suggesting it…
“Of course. I’ll check on him.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
I glanced at the sandwich still on the plate. “If you don’t want this—”
“Sure, bring it to him. Next time you make me a sandwich, remember I don’t really enjoy ham, dear.”
But you know who does? Your son.
Without a word, I grabbed a can of Sprite from the fridge and took the plate with me to Aiden’s room in the den.
I frowned when I stood outside the door.
He needed somewhere proper to live. Maybe if I got him an apartment outside, we would have a better time managing our relationship rather than carrying on under Melodie’s nose.
I loathed the idea of sleeping with him under the home I’d bought with my wife. Yeah, I got that sleeping with him in general was wrong, but this felt worse. Unforgivable.
Not that I have to worry about Melodie forgiving me when she finds out.
I inhaled deeply, then knocked on the door. “Aiden?”
I heard a shuffling sound inside the bedroom, and a second later, the door cracked open. Aiden’s red-rimmed eyes were painful to look at.
“What do you want?” he asked, pursing his lips.
“I want to talk. To see how you’re handling everything. Open up, please.”
“Aren’t you afraid your wife will find out what we’ve done behind her back?”
“Stop it. I’m trying to help.”
“Then find a hitman and make her disappear.”
“Aiden—”
“I’m joking. Maybe.” He released the door but didn’t open it any wider either.
I used my shoulder to shove it open and kicked it shut behind me.
Aiden walked over to his computer desk, and I came up behind him, a choking sound escaping me when I saw what he had in the search bar.
Thankfully, he hadn’t hit send, so somewhere on the internet, his IP address would link him to a search enquiring where to find a hitman to hire.
I placed the plate and drink on the desk and hit the back button on the computer.
“Hey!” He tried to slap my hand away, but I caught the arms of his chair and spun him around to face me.
“Don’t ever do that again.’
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Listen to me. If you search that stuff up on your computer and anything happens to your mother, the authorities will find you in a heartbeat.”
“It’s not like I was actually going to do it.” He slipped through the space between my arms and started to walk away.
I caught the back of his shirt and pulled him into my chest, wrapping my arms around him from behind.
“Deni, promise me you won’t do that again.”
“What good is a promise?” he whined. “You said we were going to still have—have sex when we return, and we haven’t.”
“It’s just been a week.”
“You know how horny I get.” He swiveled around in my arms so we were facing each other.
“Last night, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I used the biggest dildo I have in my ass, and it still wasn’t satisfying.
” He pushed me in the chest. “And it’s your fault.
You fuck me to within an inch of my life, giving it to me just the way I need it, then you leave me high and dry.
What am I supposed to do in my cold bed alone at night when you’re having sex with your wife? ”
“I am not having sex with anyone, and that includes your mother. I promised you. Didn’t I?”
“Well, lots of men have made me promises, Jackson, and they meant squat.”
Gritting my teeth, I took his face into my hands. “I am not most men, and I don’t like to be compared to the other men you’ve fucked.”
His bottom lip trembled, and his eyes filled with tears, spilling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m just so frustrated. I’m not sure I can do this, Jackson. It’s killing me inside.”
My chest tightened in panic. “You want to leave me?”
He nodded. “But I can’t now because you’ve ruined me for anyone else. All I can think about is you.”
“And you think I don’t think about you?”
“I don’t know. You seem so unbothered by everything.”
“Baby, that’s not true.” I took his arms and propelled him over to the bed, where I sat and pulled him into my lap.
“I’m only better at hiding my feelings than you because I’ve been trained to withstand pressure, but make no mistake, this is the hardest shit I’ve ever done.
There’s not a night I go to sleep not wishing you were snuggled next to me. ”
His voice broke. “I can’t even touch you.”
Oh fuck.
“I’m sorry,” I said into his hair, my arms tightening around him. “I’m so fucking sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have touched you. If you want to find someone else, Aiden, I understand.”
“I don’t want anybody else.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you, and that’s what I feel like I’m doing, but I’ve been married to your mother for almost a decade.
It’s not fair to her for us to run off together into the sunset without consideration of her feelings.
I haven’t worked out everything yet, but I will.
I promise. Just give me some time, baby. Can you do that?”
“Then what am I supposed to think?” he demanded, his voice cracking again. “You won’t touch me. You barely look at me. And then she—” He sucked in a shaky breath. “I hate it, Jackson. I hate seeing her with you.”
I pulled back just enough to look at him.
“I hate it too,” I admitted quietly.
He stilled in my arms.
“I don’t regret anything that happened between us,” I continued, holding his gaze. “Not one second of it. But I need to figure out how to handle this without blowing everything up in a way that hurts you.”
His eyes searched mine desperately. “So I just have to keep pretending?”
“For now,” I said honestly.
He huffed. “Fine, but you gotta know every time I see you with her, it’s making me resent her a little more.”
“And you can have that resentment, but what will you not do?”
He mumbled something I couldn’t hear.
“Come on, Aiden. Tell me.”
“I won’t search for hitmen on Google.”
“Because you and I know you wouldn’t actually hurt your mother, who’s innocent in all this, but other people might not know that. Okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.” He kissed my neck and melted into me, and it felt so good to hold him like this again.
“I’m going to fix it,” I said, combing my fingers through his hair. “I’m going to find a way for us to be together. Just a little more time, baby. That’s all I ask.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” he whispered.
I nodded, holding him even tighter. “You should because I mean it.”