TRANSCRIPT 1
Sydney Cleary and Curtis Lowe, Couples’ Counseling Session
Ellen Dwyer, Psychologist, PsyD
Ellen:
What brings you two in today?
Sydney:
Tell her, Curtis.
Curtis:
I… was unfaithful. I love Sydney more than anything, and I made a huge mistake. The biggest mistake of my life.
Ellen:
I can hear that you’re hurting. How are you doing, Sydney?
Sydney:
I’m broken. And I’m devastated.
Ellen:
That’s completely understandable. Infidelity is incredibly painful and can even be traumatic… Curtis, does it feel okay to tell me how it happened?
Curtis:
Syd and I were going through a dark time. We weren’t connecting. Sydney’s mom had been sick for months, and she’d been caring for her. She was exhausted and overwhelmed. I wanted to be there for her, but I felt like I couldn’t reach her.
Sydney:
So, it’s my fault you had an affair? Or is it my mom’s fault, for getting cancer and dying?
Ellen:
Sydney, your anger is so valid. Could you tell me more about what you’re going through?
Sydney:
I’m hurt. And I’m disappointed. And I’m so fucking angry. I was grieving. My mom had just died, and he slept with one of his clients. When I was at my lowest point, when I needed him the most, he betrayed me.
Ellen:
Grief can have a huge impact on a relationship. Your emotional suffering was likely all-consuming.
Sydney:
It was. My mom and I were really close. Losing her destroyed me.
Ellen:
Curtis, did you feel shut out of Sydney’s experience? Like there was no role for you in her suffering?
Curtis:
Yeah, I did. Sydney’s a strong person. She didn’t need or even want my comfort or support.
Sydney:
If you’re going to keep blaming me for this affair, I’m going to leave.
Curtis:
I’m not blaming you. I did this. I know I did. I’m just trying to explain my headspace.
Sydney:
You weren’t the center of my attention for once in our marriage, and you couldn’t handle it.
Ellen:
There’s no excuse for infidelity. But it’s usually a symptom of something more going on. If we can understand it, we can make sure it never happens again.
Curtis:
It won’t happen again. Ever. I hate myself for what I did to us, Syd. That’s why I came clean. I couldn’t live with what I’d done.
Sydney:
I knew you were hiding something. Even through my grief, I could tell.
Curtis:
The guilt was eating me up inside. It was torture. I’ll never hurt you like that again, Syd. I swear on my life.
Sydney:
I want to believe you, Curtis, I do. I just don’t know if I can.