Hope
She woke up the next morning turned away from Decan, but his hand still laid on her bare waist. She rolled over to find him still sleeping, his curls having broken free from their elastic restraint and spilling all over the place. His hand slipped from her waist to the mattress, and laced her fingers with his. She closed her eyes again, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. She’d felt so alone lately, and Decan filled a void that she’d worked hard to ignore. She dozed off again, relishing the warm, fuzzy feeling washing through her veins.
only awoke again when Decan stirred. His sleepy eyes found hers, his lips curling into a lazy smile. “Good morning, little thief.”
“You still have your blanket,” she pointed out with a laugh.
“I’m not talking about the blanket.”
Her cheeks heated as she gathered the courage to ask. “So what am I stealing?”
“My heart.” He kissed her hair and stretched, carrying on as if he hadn’t just dropped that bomb on her. “Mind if I take a shower?”
She welcomed the sudden change of subject, feeling as if any re sponse she came up with wouldn’t measure up. “Are you asking my permission to take a shower in your own home?”
“I guess I am.”
“Well can I have coffee?”
“Of course.”
“Then I’ll allow it.” She leaned over and stamped a kiss on his cheek before climbing out of bed to give him some privacy. She could see how uncomfortable he was in certain situations—such as getting in and out of a car, or his own bed. Not that she thought there was a need, but she could respect that doing it all with an audience was new for him.
In the kitchen, she excitedly used his fancy coffee machine to make herself a cup of steaming morning sun. She took her time returning to the bedroom, but not without stopping to look at the pictures that decorated his walls. There were a few of him and his car—a Ford from what she could see, but that was as far as her knowledge of cars went. When she stepped into the bedroom, the water ran behind the closed bathroom door.
“What would happen if I walked in right now?” she jokingly shouted.
“Come in and find out.”
She froze, not having expected that response. She hesitated, staring at the door, but then took a few steps towards it. Slowly, to give him time to veto, she turned the knob and pushed the door open.
Decan sat on the built-in bench, steam fogging the glass walls enclosing the shower. His hair was longer now, weighed down and dripping wet. Her eyes trailed down to his ch est where that lion proudly stretched across his skin. Somehow, she’d always thought one could still see his ex’s name on his chest but there was nothing but a beautiful detailed roaring lion. The sails of an old pirate ship decorated his left arm while skulls and roses twisted and wound up the right.
“I was about to get out, but I can stay a little longer,” he chuckled.
Her face burned as hot as her core. “I wouldn’t mind joining you.” Her words shook, insecurity creeping in like a weed amongst the roses.
That self doubt was partially at fault for her rejection the night before as well. Before she could second guess herself, she set her mug on the counter and shoved her stolen sweats to the floor. She couldn’t bring herself to check Decan’s reaction as she stepped out of the fabric. Those encroaching thoughts only got worse when she pulled the shirt over her head, revealing her pudgy stomach, stretchmarks, and hanging breasts.
But Decan surprised her. “Gorgeous,” he hummed, pushing the door open and offering her a hand.
She stepped in, the steam and hot water wrapping around her like a warm comforting cocoon. The water dripped down from the rainfall shower head above them, weighing down her hair still secured in the hair tie. Her breath hitched when Decan pulled her to stand in front of him. His free hand dipped down, trailing over her knee and teasing up her inner thigh.
“Safe word?” he gently asked.
“Strawberry.” She couldn’t help but giggle at the word .
“You can use it any time, even now.”
“I’m just a little insecure,” she admitted with a heavy heart.
“That’s okay. Just know I don’t understand why. You look breathtaking.”
“Thank you.”
“I like how you’re working on accepting compliments.”
“It looks easier than it is.”
He chuckled. “I bet.”
Decan’s fingers traced over her skin, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. Unsure of what to do with herself, she placed her hands on his shoulders and studied the majestic beast inked across his chest. The water rained down on them, melting the tension away from her muscles.
“You seem tense.”
“A little.” She sighed, closing her eyes and trying to find the courage to speak. “Last night I wanted more, but… I was scared to take it further.”
His fingers grazed over her hip bone, following it south. “I thought so.”
“I’m sorry.”
“, please look at me,” he hummed, but the plea beneath his confident facade wasn’t lost on her. She did and when her eyes finally met his, she melted. “You never have to apologise for your feelings. Believe me, I know that’s hard not to do, but your feelings are valid, no matter what they are or what anyone else thinks. I want you to know you’re safe with me to express yourself.”
She took a deep breath, as if to inhale his words. With a newfound bravery, she bent down, taking his jaw in her hands and angling him precisely where she wanted him. Her lips crashed down on his, and she swallowed the deep, rumbling groan he fed her. She straddled the man in front of her, kneeling on the bench to either side of him. Strong hands grabbed her waist, his fingers pressing into the plush skin. Decan’s cock swelled beneath her—and it felt good . So why was she questioning this? Decan tugged on her hips, pulling even her closer.
She laced one hand through his wet curls, slipping the other between their bodies. She found what she wanted, loving the way his cock jerked in her hand.
“Please, ,” he begged, though he didn’t seem to be sure what he was even asking for.
She claimed his lips again, gripping his shaft tightly while her thumb claimed the first drops of precum. Decan shifted, slipping a hand between her thighs and finding her clit effortlessly. She moaned into the kiss, and Decan’s fingers kept searching. The heel of his hand now pressed against her clit while a single finger gently pushed inside her. She arched into his hand, giving his shaft one slow stroke. She found a rhythm, breaking away from the kiss to trail a path down his jaw.
When her lips reached his ear, she sealed them around his earlobe and sucked it into her mouth. The simple move earned her a pleased groan and a second finger pushing into her.
“You feel so good,” she panted, raking her teeth down his neck.
“Don’t stop making me feel good. Please.”
That was a plea she couldn’t resist. Her grip tightened around his shaft, her thumb teasing that sensitive spot below his cockhead. He rewarded her with a third finger and more pressure on her clit. He was gentle, stretching her until he was knuckle-deep inside her. She rocked her pussy over his fingers a few times before knocking his hand away and placing herself over his cock.
His grip tightened on her waist, preventing her from sinking down. “I have condoms.”
“I’m on the pill, but we can use them if you feel safer.”
Decan’s head rolled back and he took a deep breath, releasing it in a long sigh. “Are you telling me you’ll let me fuck you bare?”
“Yes, but only because you’ve been so polite.”
“I’ll be sweet as sugar for the rest of my life if that means I can feel your pussy around my cock.” He grabbed her hips, slowly lowering her over his thick length. “I’m going to come so fast.”
“Please do, I loved seeing you come apart for me last night.”
Precious little sighs filled the air as she gifted him inch by inch. She took it slowly, needing the time to adjust, but that was likely for the best. Decan’s eyes were already fluttering and his jaw tense as he fought his orgasm just as he had last night.
“You’re doing so well,” she whispered against his ear, her tongue flicking against his neck. He shivered despite their hot, humid surrounding. “You look gorgeous,” she praised, the resulting whimper spurring her on.
Once Decan was buried to the hilt, his tight grip on her hips held her in place. His breathing was heavy, his jaw set and fa ce determined. “You feel too good.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered in his ear, swirling her hips as much as she could. “You can come.”
“You’re not even close,” he strained between clenched teeth.
“I enjoy watching you come,” she purred, peppering his neck with soft kisses. “I love seeing you lose control. You were so mesmerising last night.” She grabbed his waist in return and ground harder, nails scraping over his soft skin.
“Fuck,” he let out in a long breath.
“Just like that,” she praised, finding that sweet spot in the crook of his neck. “Relax and give in.” She sucked the tender skin between her teeth, and that was it.
Decan’s body trembled, his hands slipping down to grip her ass. He was so precious like this: completely and utterly in her control. had never felt that with a man, but she loved it. It was something she could get used to. She rolled her hips slowly, making sure she was thoroughly adjusted. Decan’s groans filled the air once she’d found a rhythm. The sound was like music to her ears, and it wasn’t long before she felt him shiver and his muscles tightened. She gave him two more hard thrusts, grinding down and swivelling her hips in a way that drove him wild.
It worked, and his cock pulsed inside her. sighed, enjoying the feeling of his cum spilling deep into her.
“You did so well for me, Decan,” she praised, using her tongue to soothe the angry purple mark she’d left on his neck.
“Damn, little thief,” he said, pulling her into a kiss. “Can I spoil you now? ”
“And just how would you do that?”
Decan’s hands drifted over her spine and up to her shoulders. “You still seem tense, and you haven’t washed your hair yet.”
“Are you offering a massage?”
“Only if you’re willing to sit on the floor at my feet. I promise the tile is heated.”
With a kiss to his cheek, she slipped off his lap and sat on the floor between his legs, relishing the feeling of his cum trickling down her thighs. “I never thought of having a heated floor in the shower.”
“It came up in one of my support groups when I told them I was renovating the bathroom. Apparently, it’s more comfortable if you slip and have to wait for someone to find you.” Decan chuckled, which made it easier for her to laugh at it.
“The poor guy who had to figure that out the hard way…”
“My mom didn’t think that was funny either. Ever since she’s worried herself sick. My dad made sure to order the most slip-resistant tiles he could find.”
“So, your parents helped you renovate everything?”
“Yeah. My mood was all over the place those days and there were times I couldn’t even get out of bed, so they often took over for me. Marco, of course, always dragged my so-called ‘lazy ass’ out, but I often was just an empty shell.”
“Do you still have those days?”
“Barely. And if I do, they aren’t as bad as they used to be. They’re more of the ‘I don't wanna text or talk to anyone’ kind of days. ”
“How long should I leave it before I start worrying? Two days?”
Decan paused, turning off the rain shower and massaging shampoo into her hair. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“When should I start worrying about you?”
tipped her head back to look at him. “I’m one of those people that will read your text, think of a reply, and then forget to press send.”
“And days later you wonder why you never got a response, huh?”
“Yes, and then it’s all on me and you get an apology text that I hopefully remember to send.”
He laughed and reached for the showerhead to rinse the bubbles out of her hair. “I’ll message you after a day just to double check.”
She closed her eyes and enjoyed his fingers combing conditioner through her hair. Once that was in, he let it soak while he massaged her shoulders. It felt good— easy .
Only after Decan had spoiled her rotten—or so it felt—she got up and reached for a towel just outside the glass door. “Where do you keep the other towels? I think I just stole yours.”
He pointed her in the right direction and she handed him a new one. She started to dry off, leaving him to transfer out of the shower, but she couldn’t help but worry just like his mother. Out of the corner of her eye, Decan used the handles to take the necessary steps out of the shower, but with the floor covered in water she was still afraid he would fall. Then she tried to relax, reminding herself that he did this himsel f every day.
“I usually air dry my hair, but there’s a blow dryer next to the sink somewhere if you want it.”
“I’ll go the old-fashioned way.” She kissed his cheek and walked out to grab her clothes, drying her hair with a second towel. “Do you prefer anything for breakfast?” she asked through the open door.
“Usually, I have cereal and coffee.”
laughed. “I think I’ll have to make myself a new one anyway. Mine’s gone cold.”
“I wonder why,” Decan quipped.
Once she’d dressed and wrapped her hair in the towel, retrieved her mug and went to the kitchen. She was making herself a sandwich when Decan joined her and prepared his own breakfast.
“This might be a stupid question…” she started, but he shook his head.
“No such thing as stupid questions, only stupid answers.”
“Why not lower the countertops?”
“Pride, I guess. I considered it, but I hated how it looked, and at that time my goal was to be able to stand again.”
“So, you kept them at normal height to force yourself to reach that goal.”
“Exactly. Though I’m now thinking of replacing the island with a height-adjustable one.”
“Ooh, fancy.”
She followed him to the table and sipped on her coffee. “Do you have plans today?”
“Gym, then I have a meeting with one of my authors. Will you jo in me for the gym?”
“Only for the view.”
Decan grinned at her, colour flooding his cheeks. “I might be scolded again for being distracted.”
“I thought you looked pretty well put together on Thursday.”
“I’m glad I can mask well, then. Marco kept making fun of me.”
“Isn’t that what best friends are for?”
“That and kicking my ass when I need it.”
“That’s the best kind of friend.”
They finished breakfast together before he took her back to her car. With a soft kiss and a promise to meet him at the gym, he watched her drive away.