Epilogue
Mister Stabby ended up requiring his own special corral inside their new home.
Here had made a fireproof playspace for him to run freely, possibly because Here had taken a liking to Mister Stabby, and possibly because Eira had declared that if the unicorn set fire to one more thing, she was leaving.
Mister Stabby was also fully banned from the chapter house due to an incident that went something like this:
Upon his return to the Real, Clayton had brought his family—minus his parents. They seemed to think Astraea would get pissed if they went to the Real—for Samantha to inspect.
He wasn’t going to hide anything about anyone. Either Samantha accepted his entire family, or they all walked. Clayton may have an agenda to become the new PR guy for nightmares, but he still had standards.
Samantha took one look at Mal and said, “Never explain anything about him.” When Clayton opened his mouth, she cut him off. “Never. Not one word. Got it?”
Then Mister Stabby darted into the chapter house, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Samantha screamed bloody murder while chasing after him, shouting for her companion to throw it out. Clayton saw a brief shimmer around Mister Stabby, but it vanished on contact.
“What do you mean you can’t affect it? It’s literally inside you!” Samantha shrieked, swatting the wayward unicorn with an ornamental chair that was easily as old as Clayton’s parents. It caught on fire instantly.
Clayton chased after the chaos, leaving his family on the doorstep of the chapter house.
They circled the loop of hallways connecting all the rooms on the first floor of the building, Samantha yelling at her companion, cursing Clayton, and smacking the unicorn with a smoldering broom the whole way.
She’d had to abandon the chair early on. Apparently, ancient, lacquer-covered wood was highly flammable.
Mister Stabby seemed to be having the time of his life as he galloped around, gleefully igniting Clayton’s place of work as he went. Clayton did his best to believe the flames out of existence as he followed the unfolding chaos, and to his delight, he was mostly successful.
He was really starting to get the hang of his magic.
As Mister Stabby and his screaming entourage looped back to the foyer, they met up with Tommy, Merry, and a brave, if hesitant, Holly.
Clayton flashed a grateful smile to the ceiling. If Samantha’s companion hadn’t approved of Holly, she never would have let her in. Mister Stabby notwithstanding, if she didn’t want something inside the chapter house, it didn’t enter.
Clayton had a feeling that the unicorn was an outlier since Mal had created Mister Stabby. Mal, standing innocently on the doorstep, wasn’t fooling Clayton one bit. He was only staying outside because he was enjoying pretending to be a good little monster.
If Mal wanted to, he could have made the entire situation a thousand times worse. Clayton was being the bravest of brave little toasters by bringing his new life mate to the chapter house.
There was no telling how Marshall and Jack would react upon seeing him, but after witnessing Mal slaughter countless demons, Clayton was confident in his lover’s ability to keep from getting killed on the spot.
Worst things worst, Mal could create a portal to get them all out of there. Clayton didn’t need his job. He wanted to help change the backward ideas the Guard had about certain magical creatures, but he could sever ties if he had to. He just didn’t want to.
Clayton loved Mal more than he loved his ties to the Real, but that didn’t mean he didn’t treasure them. Samantha had been there for him when no one else had, and all the elemental sprites he’d befriended over the years held special places in his heart.
And if he was being completely honest with himself, his foster mother wasn’t the worst thing in the world either. If he had a chance of not being banned from the Real, he was going to take it.
He just needed to convince the residents of the Boston chapter house that he and his family weren’t a threat.
Mister Stabby wasn’t helping with that goal at all.
Maybe Clayton should have checked to make sure Mister Stabby hadn’t hitched a ride when Mal portaled them to the Real, but it was his reality now, so he had to deal with it.
Luck. Clayton needed the finest of luck to make the situation work out for him, so he decided that was what he had. He was Clayton, he had probability magic, and everything flowed in his favor. It was his reality. His mantra. His one saving grace. Everything flowed in his favor.
“Ow.”
Clayton’s eyes snapped up to see Jack staring down at the tiny unicorn with its horn buried in his calf, and Clayton stumbled to a halt.
Samantha tripped over her smoking broom and went sprawling. Merry shouted with glee to see her favorite guardian, and Tommy joined her. Holly stood back and watched the whole thing in morbid fascination.
Bloody, buggering hell.
There was no way Marshall hadn’t told Jack what Mal was, and Clayton knew their meeting was inevitable, which was why Clayton had presented his family at the chapter house as soon as possible.
He’d been hoping to ease everyone into the meeting.
Perhaps even get Samantha on his side first before introducing Mal to the dreamwalkers again.
Instead, Samantha was ready to murder someone, and Mal’s stupid little murder unicorn had just impaled Jack.
Its horn was tiny, and Jack’s magic was powerful enough to heal himself instantly, but still.
Clayton would have far rather presented Jack with his homemade muffins instead of a puncture wound from his new daughter’s pet monster.
“Jack!” Merry cried. “Look what my new dad made for me!”
Jack turned to see Mal give him a cheeky salute, and Clayton’s mantra fell dead into the abyss.
“Mister Stabby,” Merry chastised, “we talked about this. We only gore people who deserve it. Jack is super nice, so we don’t stab him, okay?”
‘Super nice’ Jack was eyeballing the tiny monster embedded in his leg, and he grunted when Merry pulled on Mister Stabby to free him.
Outwardly, Mal showed nothing but cheerful nonchalance, but inwardly, Clayton could sense his lover was seconds from tearing inside the chapterhouse to retrieve his family.
He was only outside because he chose to be, not because he couldn’t enter.
If Mister Stabby could enter, there was no way Mal couldn’t.
Eira watched Mal warily, keeping her hand on Grampy’s arm, like she was ready to bolt at any given moment.
She was the only person there with any sense at all.
If Clayton could bolt, he definitely would, but he only had two hands, and there were at least three people he needed to grab on his way out.
Fucked. Clayton was completely and utterly fucked.
The wound in Jack's leg healed the moment the unicorn was free from it, and Clayton watched as the torn material of his pants knitted itself together as well.
Jack crouched down to examine the flaming creature before him. “Cute,” he said, after enough time to make Clayton relocate all the exits he’d long ago memorized. Jack tilted his head in Mal's direction and asked, "Your work?”
Mal grinned broadly, and all of his pointy teeth were on display.
Jack’s rainbow eyes were inscrutable as he said, “He’s an absolute masterpiece. Can I keep him?”
Mal’s grinning visage transformed into one of complete shock for an instant before flashing to smug irreverence. “He’s already spoken for.”
“You can’t take him from me!” Merry’s eyes filled with tears. “My new daddy made it for me.”
“Daddy, huh?” Jack gave Mal an appraising stare. “You’re claiming this ragtag bunch?”
“Yep,” Mal responded without hesitation.
Jack’s energy changed completely. It was a brilliant transformation, going from something unknowably scary to Jack’s usual happy-go-lucky demeanor. “Good for you, man. I’m happy for you.”
Mal scowled, and Clayton realized his lover had been hoping for a fight.
“We got a new pet?” Marshall asked as he strode into the room. “It seems a bit high-maintenance.” He gestured toward the smoldering wreckage around them.
Clayton was certain everyone in the room could hear his butthole clench. Marshall knew exactly what Mal was and hadn’t hidden his feelings on the matter. Jack had just given his seal of approval, but Marshall was an entirely different matter.
“Clayton, who’s your friend?” Marshall asked.
Clayton’s jaw nearly hit the floor.
“He’s our new dad!” Merry announced proudly.
“He kills bad guys really well!” Tommy added.
“No kidding?” Marshall said the way grown-ups did to kids when they didn’t know what else to say.
Marshall was acting like he’d never even met Mal. What the…?
Jack caught Clayton’s eye in that moment. He didn’t do or say anything, but somehow Clayton knew that everyone would be happier if he didn’t push the issue.
Clayton decided then and there that whatever Jack had done to steal Marshall back from Astraea and take his memories, and whatever Jack was, it was none of Clayton’s business. Especially if Clayton wanted to maintain the status quo.
He gave Jack a brief nod and was answered by a shimmer in the rainbow kaleidoscope of Jack’s eyes.
Jack’s and Marshall’s friendship was an odd one, and Clayton wasn’t touching it with a thousand-foot pole. If it seemed unbalanced, Clayton couldn’t begin to protest on the matter, considering the shit he got up to with his own monster.
He’d leave well enough alone.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t have Mister Stabby as a pet, Marshall,” Merry said matter-of-factly. “He’s mine, and he loves me. Right, Mal?”
“You heard the lady,” Mal said. “And I can’t make another. Mister Stabby is a one-of-a-kind critter.”
Marshall’s eyes lit up at the phrase one-of-a-kind and Clayton winced. Dreamwalkers were notoriously obsessed with new and unique things. It was like Mal was baiting him on purpose.
Marshall crouched down to look at the unicorn and said, “I bet I could make something like this.”