CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CODIE
“Wow, Storm, you look like a goddess. That dress is so beautiful.” Athena clapped her hands together, marveling at the wedding dress Storm modelled for us.
This was the fourth dress Storm had tried. Athena had reacted the same way for all of them. Maybe she really loved them that much, or maybe it was the champagne the lady running the shop had given us.
I nodded in agreement. “I knew the mermaid cut would look amazing on you. How does it feel?”
Storm stared into the full-length mirror, turning one way and then the other. “It feels surreal. I can’t believe I’m getting married. Is this a mistake? Are we rushing it?”
She’d asked us this a dozen times already. I didn’t think she was getting cold feet. It seemed more like nerves as each day passed, bringing us closer to the big day. She’d never once doubted her relationship with Rebel.
“There’s no set schedule that everyone has to follow,” I said, sipping champagne. “Some people move faster than others, and that’s okay. All that matters is that you’re confident it’s the right decision for you. Don’t let other people’s opinions get in your head.”
“My mom was happy when we got engaged. I know she means well, but she’s been telling me to make sure this is what I want ever since she found out we planned to get married right away.
Maybe it’s getting in my head a little.” Grasping a handful of her red hair, Storm lifted it into a ponytail, eyeing the neckline of the dress.
“Your mom is super awesome,” Athena jumped in. “But she’s also had bad luck with men in the past. I’m sure she just wants to protect you. Try not to let her influence you too much. You and Rebel are perfect together.”
I caught sight of a fading bruise on Storm’s neck and giggled. “You might want to tell him to take it easy leading up to the wedding though. You don’t want to have to explain those bruises to all of your guests.”
A happy little smile curved Storm’s lips. She caught my eye through the mirror, a brow arching. “Good point, Codie. How does one explain such bruises?”
“Can you believe she told me that she fell?” Athena burst into laughter. “Nobody is buying that story, Codie. Who’s been putting their hands all over you?”
“I think some of those marks are from teeth,” Storm added with a knowing smirk.
“I guess you would know,” I quipped, feeling a blush steal over my face.
Storm shook her head, turning to face us where we sat in matching armchairs. “Don’t try to turn this back around on me. Who’s been putting their hands and teeth all over you, girl? Should we start guessing?”
Feeling the weight of their matching stares upon me, I did my best to appear nonchalant. “I think you should change into the next dress. You have two more, don’t you?”
Even though they already suspected Stray, I didn’t want to confirm that.
Right now he was my secret, and I preferred to keep it that way.
It had been two days since the night I went for a run.
The night he pulled a gun on me. He’d kept his distance at school, although several times I’d caught him lurking. Watching.
I hated how much I still wanted him. At night when I couldn’t sleep, I found myself thinking about the way he grabbed me. Dragging me into the trees with a gun to my head. The memory brought my body alive. It lit me on fire for him all over again.
The way he made me feel terrified me. So much so that I had told him I wanted to stop everything.
Even when I said it, I knew that he would never agree.
He was blackmailing me after all. Deep down I didn’t really want him to agree.
I’d simply needed to say it so that I knew I’d made an effort to put an end to this before it all spiraled out of control.
Because it had to, didn’t it? Isn’t that what really made it so dangerous? Knowing that at some point, it would burn too hot and too hard. Eventually, it would go too far. I didn’t really know what that meant, but the fucked up part of me wanted to find out.
Thankfully, Storm went to change into her next dress. While we waited, Athena and I browsed some of the bridesmaid dresses. I ran my fingers over the soft material of a powder blue dress with a layered skirt that fell in waves like the ocean. Beautiful.
“Dear God, what kind of bride would dress their bridesmaids in something this hideous? She would have to absolutely hate them.” Athena pointed out an army green dress with ruffles from neck to toe.
She wasn’t wrong. The dress was beyond ugly.
I shrugged, moving on to the next rack of dresses.
“I never understood why a bride would want her bridesmaids to look awful. Understandably, the bride needs to be the center of attention, but if it were me, I would want my bridesmaids to look beautiful. Having them wear potato sacks only ruins the overall effect.”
“Agreed.” Athena paused to ooh and aah over a salmon pink dress with a corset top. “Can you see yourself getting married one day, Codie? I don’t think I can see it for myself. I love it for other people, yet when I picture myself in that position, I immediately feel trapped.”
I nodded, pointing out a violet dress with a simple design and a skirt that would hug the wearer like a second skin. “Maybe that’s because you haven’t found the right person. I can’t imagine it would feel like a trap when all you want is to be with them.”
Marriage was not at all on my radar. Maybe when I finished school I would start dating seriously. I sure couldn’t see myself ending up with any of the campus jerks. Certainly not a man like Stray. The two of us in a serious relationship would probably be a disaster together.
“What about the mystery man who left those bruises all over your neck?” Athena eyed me with an impish grin. “Is he marriage material?”
“Absolutely not,” I blurted. “Far from it.”
Before she could press me further on my mystery lover, Storm returned in a different dress. More of a classic gown with a tight bodice and a full flowing skirt. She frowned down at the dress before stepping in front of the mirror.
“I’m not sure about this one. I think it might be too much. I can barely walk in it. How would I dance or sit?” She clutched two handfuls of the skirt, gesturing to the mass of material.
The dress was a bit much. No doubt it was beautiful though. I still thought she looked best in the mermaid cut.
“So this one is a no go,” Athena said. “Speaking of go, I need to use the restroom. I’ll be back.”
She set her empty champagne glass down on the small table between the two armchairs and disappeared down a short hall to the washroom. That left me alone with Storm. Gnawing my bottom lip, I wrestled with the urge to ask her a few questions.
“What do you think?” She faced me, holding her arms out at her sides.
“I think you look uncomfortable in that dress. It’s pretty though. Still, you should find something that makes you feel great.” As an afterthought I added, “I assume Rebel’s friends will all be at this wedding.”
Storm stared down at the dress with pursed lips. “Of course. I mean, I imagine they would all be there. Why do you ask?” Her head came up suddenly, a knowing expression making her brows raise and her mouth drop open. “Oh, I see. Is this about Stray?”
I glanced toward the restroom. Athena had yet to emerge. “It might be. I don’t know. I don’t want to say too much.”
Storm shuffled forward, her massive skirt almost tripping her up. She put a hand on my arm, patting me gently. “Your secret is safe with me. Am I right in assuming Stray is your mystery man?”
She looked pointedly at the marks on my neck. I flushed with heat and nodded. “I don’t want anyone to know. We’re not dating. We’re just.… you know how it goes.”
“I definitely do know how it goes. Can I ask why it’s such a secret? Does he not want anyone to know?” She looked at me with such understanding and concern that it melted my brittle little heart.
“No, it’s me. At least, it’s mostly me. The situation is complicated.” I flopped down into one of the armchairs with a sigh. “Let’s just say that Stray learned a few things about me. Some of my personal.… fantasies.”
Storm’s expression revealed nothing of whatever she might be thinking. She was good that way. “I think I understand. So he’s helping you live out some of these fantasies and clearly you’re enjoying it. What’s the problem?”
Good question.
“This is just between you and me, okay? Stray has some dirt on me that he’s been using to force me into some of these situations.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely enjoying myself.
God, this sounds so fucked up. I can’t believe I’m even saying this.
Can we pretend I didn’t say anything at all?
” I chewed my lip until I tasted blood. I wasn’t good at this opening up shit.
Her eyes wide, Storm whispered, “He’s blackmailing you?”
“Let’s pretend I never told you that part,” I said, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.
“Based on what you know about him, is he a good guy? Listen to me trying to rationalize this shit. A good guy wouldn’t blackmail me like this.
I guess I just want you to tell me that he’s not an absolute piece of shit. That it’s okay if I kind of—”
I cut myself off before I could finish the sentence. I’d been about to say something to Storm that I hadn’t even said to myself yet.
“If you kind of like him,” she finished for me.
“Look, Codie, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, and apparently there’s a lot more to it than you’re ready to share.
I don’t know Stray all that well. I have spent time with him and the others.
All I can tell you is that he’s funny and friendly.
He loves attention, and Rebel trusts him completely.
I’m not sure any of that will help you.”
I sat there, staring into my now empty champagne glass. Already I said too much. I didn’t dare say another word about the situation.
Storm shuffled closer, cursing at the massive skirt.
She crouched down in front of me, the skirt pooling around her.
“Between you and me, Rebel and his friends aren’t like a lot of other guys.
They’re wild, reckless, and dangerous. It takes a strong woman to deal with someone like that.
I think someone like you would be perfect for Stray.
However, if he’s forcing you into anything you don’t want to do, then it needs to stop.
I’ll help any way I can. I’m here for you. ”
I met her gentle blue eyes, feeling better about having told her. Yet I couldn’t shake the guilt that slithered through me. “What if I like it? What if I like all of it? Am I screwed up? What kind of a person does that make me?”
Storm smiled, patting my leg as she laughed softly.
“You’re talking to the girl who let Rebel climb up to my bedroom every night, even though he treated me like shit every day.
You saw it yourself. Now I’m marrying him.
Life is fucked up sometimes, Codie, and sometimes so are we.
Try not to judge yourself too harshly. You’re a pretty spectacular person.
Obviously Stray sees that. I’ve never seen him into any girl the way he’s into you. ”
“I’m not so sure that’s a good thing,” I said. “Thanks for listening though. It means a lot.”
“Anytime. I may need some help getting out of this dress. This is definitely not the one.” Storm laughed, changing the subject as if she sensed that I needed it.
Athena returned from the washroom, helping us to redirect the conversation back to dress shopping. I felt bad for not including her. The more people that knew the more real this all became, and I wasn’t ready for that yet.
Storm made me feel better about the whole thing. I’d been forced to admit that even though Stray was doing something as fucked up as blackmailing me, I’d willingly shared my true fantasies with him. So far I’d enjoyed every moment of him bringing them to life.
Our situationship was toxic as hell. I knew that. I accepted it. And I knew that despite my protests, I wouldn’t want it any other way.