CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CODIE
Watching a fight almost break out between the Kings and Venom gave me a sick feeling inside. There had always been conflict between the two groups, but since River’s death, it had clearly intensified. Anything that went down between them would include Stray.
I didn’t want to care about that. I didn’t want to care about him. The way my stomach turned during the incident between them told me that I cared about him more than I wanted. No matter what happened between us, I didn’t want him to get hurt.
Even though I had one more class that day, I decided to head home early. I already knew what my professor would be covering that day. I would read ahead in the textbook and do some online research to stay caught up. I needed to get out of here.
“Are you all right?” Storm asked, keeping her voice low so nobody overheard.
“Yeah, I think I’ve had enough for today though. I’m going to head home early. How are you? Kind of scary, huh?” I nodded to where Rebel stood with his friends discussing what had just taken place.
Clouds passed through Storm’s eyes as she nodded. “Definitely. I worry about him, you know? How can I not? He lives a pretty scary life sometimes. If something ever happened to him… I can’t even let myself finish that thought.”
My gaze drifted from Rebel to Stray. Would I really care if something bad happened to him? Would it hurt me?
Even more reason to stay away from him. A guy like Stray came with too many risks.
“It will be okay,” I said, pulling her in for a quick hug. “Rebel knows what he’s doing.”
Storm sighed, rubbing the frown lines between her eyebrows. “I sure hope so.”
“Call me if you need to talk. I’m going to take off now.” Hoping to slip away before Stray noticed, I turned to go.
“That goes both ways, Codie. I’m always here if you need to talk too.” Storm’s kind words followed me as I rounded the building headed for the parking lot.
I still didn’t know her all that well. Athena had known her for several years. The rest of us only met her recently when she came to our school last year. Athena was a good judge of character though, and Storm was turning out to be a great person. I was glad she’d joined our friend group.
I felt for her. She was about to marry a man who was neck deep in the crime world. Right now it was campus bullshit with guys like Venom. One day it might be so much worse. This kind of thing didn’t stop after leaving college. If anything, it would only become more serious. More dangerous.
How many nights would Storm spend waiting for Rebel to get home, wondering if he was dead or alive? Sometimes I envied the connection I saw between the two of them. I didn’t envy the worry and fear in her future.
All it did was confirm for me that I was doing the right thing by cutting off Stray. Despite his resistance, I needed to make it happen. Now before everything escalated. Before it all became too much to walk away from.
I was halfway to my car when Stray’s voice rang out behind me.
“Trying to sneak away?” he called. “Did you think that would work? I noticed the second you disappeared.”
Forcing myself to stare straight ahead, I kept walking. Maybe if I didn’t acknowledge him, he would give up. Yeah right. I knew that would never happen.
“We haven’t spoken in days, Codie. You could at least give me five minutes of your precious time.” He sounded closer now.
“We don’t have anything to talk about,” I said without turning around. “I said everything I needed to say the other night.”
“Yeah, and I told you that I wasn’t going anywhere. You’re mine now. Eventually, you’ll learn to love it. Hell, I’m pretty sure you already do. Isn’t that what’s got you running?” Now he was right beside me, matching my pace.
I kept going, urgency in every step. “I’m not running. I’m walking quickly.”
“Are you trying to escape me?” he asked, a slyness in his tone. “You should know by now that’s not possible.”
“I’m going home early today. I have schoolwork to do, and I want to be alone.” Every word I said was short and clipped. Sharp like a knife.
Apprehension filled me when I noticed Stray’s car. I had to pass it to get to my own, which was still a few rows away. Part of me wanted to break into a run, but I knew he would only chase me. If anything, that’s exactly what he wanted.
Deep down part of me wanted it too. What would he do when he caught me?
Shoving that thought aside, I kept walking. One foot in front of the other.
“You’ve got a real attitude with me today. Funny how the more I make you come the nastier you are. I’d assume that kind of thing would make you nicer to be around.”
I pressed my lips tight together. Nope. Not responding. Nothing good would come of any conversation we might have.
When I continued to ignore him, Stray grabbed me by the arm and spun me around before pasting me against the side of his car. Forced to meet his piercing blue stare, I felt my resolve begin to crumble.
“You know, Codie, I’m really starting to get tired of this shit.
The more you hate yourself, the more you take it out on me.
I get that you have some big feelings about all this, but it’s time for you to get over yourself.
” Stray caught my chin in his hand, forcing me to stare deep into him.
“I know you want me, strawberry, and I know you hate yourself for that. It doesn’t have to be that way. We are fucking perfect together.”
“You’re delusional. We are not perfect, and we are not together. Anything that’s happened between us is because you’ve forced me into it. Did you forget that part?” I tried to jerk my chin from his grasp. Not that it mattered. He was pinning me to the car with his body.
Feeling him pressed against me flashed me back to having him on top of me. Holding me down with his weight while he drove into me with his cock over and over. Heat raced through me. I began to grow wet at the memory.
Stray was the best high I’d ever known. A drug that I’d started to crave. I didn’t know how to quit someone like him. I wasn’t sure it was even possible.
“You wanted it. You were looking for it. And you found me. If it wasn’t me, it would be someone else. Someone who might not care about your safety. Someone who may be happy to kill you to get their rocks off. I fucking saved you, Codie. One day you’ll see that.”
Stray’s kiss was sudden and possessive. His mouth moved on mine with fierce determination.
A bruising pressure that only made the throb between my legs grow.
I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him back.
Like a constant war between us, I needed to battle him.
To fight his tongue with my own. To stand my ground.
Finally, I managed to break off the kiss. My chest heaved. “I told you this was over. I meant it. We have to stop. I don’t trust you, Stray, and I don’t trust what you do to me.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. His face lit up with satisfaction.
“Because you fucking love it. Why can’t you admit it? At least admit it to yourself. I’m not letting you go so you can seek out a sick thrill with a stranger. I’m going to show you why I’m the one.” Pressing his thigh between my legs, Stray rubbed my clit through my pants.
A whimper bubbled up in my throat. I fought to hold it back, not wanting him to know how much power he had over me. I suspected it might be too late for that.
“What if I don’t want you to be the one?” My words were breathy, almost a whisper. “How far is this supposed to go before there’s no getting out? What do you really want from me, Stray? Haven’t you had enough?”
A swell of emotion made it hard to breathe. I’d done everything I could to keep myself from feeling anything for him other than disdain. Every time I was with him, I realized that I had no control over that anymore. Maybe I never had to begin with.
“Fuck no,” he murmured, his lips brushing against mine.
He pressed several tender kisses to my lips, dragging me deeper into the mind fuck that was him.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.
You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?
I’m putting a lot on the line here. You’re not the only one taking a risk.
It’s too late to turn back now. We’re in too deep.
Don’t you want to know where this will take us? ”
Emotion lodged in my throat, making it hard to speak. I shook my head, forcing the words out. “I don’t think I can afford to find out.”
Stray ran a hand down the side of my face. “What are you so afraid of? That you might actually be happy? Why does it scare you so much to have found someone able to get on your level? To give you everything you want?”
Why did he have to be so goddamn insightful?
He was right. He matched my crazy in every way so far.
Stray didn’t treat me like a freak for having such dark fantasies.
He’d been more than happy to bring them to life.
In some ways, he seemed to enjoy it more than I did.
There was no doubt that I enjoyed it. For some reason that made me feel even more like I needed to make it stop.
“It’s not healthy. I don’t think this is good for either of us.
We had some fun. Now it needs to stop. If we keep going like this, we’ll keep trying to outdo ourselves.
Everything might spiral out of control. Someone could get hurt.
” By someone I obviously meant me. I made it sound physical, yet that’s not what I really meant.
Stray was far too fucking intelligent for his own good. He nodded knowingly. “You’re willing to risk your safety for the rush, but you don’t want to get your heart involved. I get it. I didn’t sign on for that either.”
“Good. Then we understand each other. We can go our separate ways now.” I didn’t want to say these things.
There was this nagging feeling that I couldn’t shake. The certainty that this was for the best. Denying myself everything I felt when I was with this man was what I had to do. Otherwise, I would get in too deep, and I would never escape him.
Stray shook his head, his expression more intense than I’d ever seen it. “Not happening. We’ve barely gotten started. I have so many plans for you. Our best friends are getting married. Like it or not, I’m in your life now. Why make it more difficult than it needs to be?”
“Exactly,” I said, shoving his leg away from where it pressed against me. “You’re making this all much more difficult than it needs to be. I don’t want to be a bitch, Stray, but you’re pushing me too far. Leave me alone.”
Because I needed to back up my words, I shoved against him, doing my best to get away.
He easily held me in place, making me struggle for freedom.
I knew that if I didn’t get away from him right now, I would give in and do anything he wanted.
The real battle was with myself. I didn’t want to let myself believe I could be happy with a man like Stray.
He was everything I’d never wanted. Being with him made me question everything I knew about myself.
“What’s going on here?”
Noah stood next to the car, eyeing us both up. I froze. Nothing good would happen now.
“That’s none of your fucking business. Move the fuck on.” Stray nodded for Noah to keep walking.
Turning to me, Noah asked, “Do you need help? Maybe I’m reading the situation wrong, but it looks like this jackass is holding you against your will.”
He was definitely not reading the situation wrong. However, I didn’t need his help. It wasn’t that kind of scenario. Stray wasn’t going to hurt me. Not the way Noah thought he might.
“I just want him to stop following me around,” I blurted. Why the hell did I say that?
Stray let go of me, backing off as he turned to face Noah. I sensed the violence brewing between them. When Noah pulled out a knife, my heart began to race.
Instead of taking a swing at Stray, Noah jammed the blade into Stray’s back tire. “There. That should give you a head start.”
Panic seized me. This was not what I wanted. I began to babble. “You didn’t have to do that. That’s not what I meant. Everything is cool. Seriously, I don’t need your help.”
Stray erupted in anger. “Seriously, asshole? You owe me for a new tire. You also really need to learn to mind your own fucking business.”
He grabbed Noah by the collar of his shirt, dragging him close. I feared that Noah would use the knife. To my relief, he dropped it on the ground and raised both hands.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Hurley?” Noah snarled. “I’ll beat your fucking ass, and I don’t need a weapon to do it.”
Stray threw the first punch. Unable to stick around and watch, I took off running for my car. Tears welled in my eyes. There was no denying the attachment I’d started to form to him. The worry I possessed for his safety.
Once inside my car, I pulled out my phone and texted Storm.
I let her know that Noah and Stray were fighting in the parking lot.
She would need to alert Rebel. I hated leaving him alone with Noah, but I couldn’t stay.
The need to flee won out, and I gunned the engine, squealing my tires as I exited the parking lot.
One tear managed to slide down my cheek before I angrily swiped it away. Developing feelings for him had never crossed my mind as a possibility. I was in over my head. Somehow, I had to break this tie with Stray before it consumed me completely.