CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CODIE
The next week went by in a haze. According to Storm, Stray left the hospital that same night. He missed a few days of classes but was back later in the week. I saw him around a few times. He never even acknowledged my existence.
Who could blame him? I’d betrayed him. I’d wanted him to leave me alone, and my wish had been granted. Only now I was forced to realize that I didn’t really want that after all. I wanted Stray.
I wanted his flirtatious grins and his goofball remarks. I wanted his dark side that came out when we were alone. I wanted all of it.
Now it was too late. I had nothing.
I did my best to push through each day. Attending class diligently, working on my studies. Every time I hung out with the girls, I was dying to ask Storm about Stray. She seemed to know how much it would hurt because she never brought him up.
When almost two weeks had passed since the accident, I found myself yearning for him even more. Shouldn’t that feeling be fading by now? Did he ever think about me too?
I was on my way to meet the girls for lunch outside when I passed Stray in the hall.
He was with Dominik. They were exiting a classroom.
For a split-second our eyes met. When he saw me, he quickly averted his gaze, but not before I saw the dismay and sorrow within his eyes.
He was looking better. Most of his injuries had healed.
Knowing better than to try to talk to him when he was with someone else, I kept moving.
I felt his stare following me as I got farther away.
When I found the girls sitting outside at one of the picnic tables, I barely had an appetite anymore.
Eating and sleeping had been a struggle since the night Stray told me to leave the hospital.
Storm waited for me to take a seat across from her before gushing, “Have you heard? The Kings grabbed Damon last night. They broke his arm in three places. Rebel said it was a warning. I’m pretty nervous. I’m afraid of how this all will end.”
It didn’t surprise me that the Kings had made a move against Venom. That’s kind of how this whole crime business worked, wasn’t it? One group made a move against another. Retaliation was the expected response. Damon was lucky that’s all they’d done to him.
“I didn’t hear anything. I’m out of the loop now other than what you tell me.” I stared down at the sandwich I brought from home. Not really feeling it, I forced myself to take a few bites of a protein bar instead.
Each bite felt grainy and thick in my mouth. Hard to swallow. My stomach didn’t want any of it. All I wanted to do was hide out in my bed until this was over. Until I felt like myself again.
“You still haven’t heard from him?” Luna asked, her face crumbling into a sympathetic frown.
I shook my head. “I don’t expect to hear from him. He hates me now and rightfully so. I fucked everything up.”
“You made a mistake. It’s not like Stray hasn’t made mistakes before.
He’s not perfect either. I’m sure he’ll come around and get his head out of his ass.
” Pulling out a container of homemade cookies, Storm held one out to me.
“My mom made her famous chocolate chip cookies. I know it doesn’t solve your problem, but it might make you feel better for thirty seconds. ”
With a small smile, I accepted a cookie. My friends had been going over and above to make me feel better. Sadly, there was nothing they could do. Only time would heal this wound. Even then, I expected it to leave an ugly scar.
“I guess you probably don’t want to go to the graveyard party this weekend,” Ripley said, peeling a banana. “We can do something else. Maybe a dance club or even a night in.”
The idea of attending a graveyard party both frightened and intrigued me. On one hand, it might be the dumbest thing I could possibly do. On the other, it would put me in a position to potentially get Stray alone for a few minutes. Needing to talk to him, to hear his voice, was eating me alive.
“I’ve had more than enough nights in lately. We can go to the party. Maybe it will be good for me to get out.” I took a bite of Storm’s cookie, pleasantly surprised at how damn good it was. If only cookies solved everything.
The cookie turned to mush in my mouth when Rebel rounded the corner with Stray and Casper. Stray took one look at me and whirled on a heel, making a beeline in the opposite direction.
I deserved that. He had every right to be angry. He’d already proven that he was a better guy than I’d given him credit for. Stray had a lot of blackmail material he could have posted online to absolutely destroy me. He hadn’t done it though.
* * * *
When Friday night rolled around, I asked myself if I should really attend the party. I would likely only succeed in humiliating myself further. What else did I have to lose? I’d already lost anything I may have had with Stray.
Since I really didn’t have anything to lose, I put extra effort into my appearance. I curled my long locks and did my makeup with perfect liner and sultry red lips. A few silver bangles decorated my wrist.
I’d treated myself to a new dress while doing some retail therapy.
An adorable black strapless number that hugged my body like a second skin.
The skirt ended mid-thigh with a few random pieces that hung longer around my legs.
The graveyard wasn’t really an ideal place for heels, so I wore badass knee-high boots instead.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t want Stray to look at me and remember what it felt like to be inside me.
Before I headed out the door with Athena, I spritzed on some of the strawberry vanilla perfume that he liked so much.
Maybe I couldn’t force him to forgive me but I damn sure would make him want me.
“Damn girl. Stray is going to regret his life choices when he sees you.” Athena glanced down at the crop top and tight jeans she wore. “You’re making me second-guess my outfit.”
“You look great. Those pants put your ass on display, which is probably what you’re going for.” I checked the rideshare app on my phone while gathering my keys and shoving them into my small purse. “Our ride is here. We have to get going.”
During the drive to the graveyard, I couldn’t stop fidgeting. I chewed my fingernails and twisted a lock of hair around my finger until it made the tip of my finger turn purple. Nerves ate up my insides.
The party was well underway when we arrived. I preferred to be fashionably late. Patio lanterns hung from the trees. Some perched on top of headstones, casting the entire party in a soft orange glow. I couldn’t stop myself from immediately searching the crowd for Stray.
“I see Luna’s hair. Over there.” Grabbing my elbow, Athena pointed across the graveyard while dragging me along behind her.
We found Luna and Ripley perched on top of a headstone that just barely held the both of them. Their greeting was enthusiastic. I assumed Storm was with Rebel and would make an appearance soon enough.
I should have had a few drinks before coming here. It definitely would have taken the edge off. Athena pulled a bottle of vodka from her bag and promptly filled a plastic cup for each of us. A splash of Sprite helped. Not that I needed it. I downed the drink in record time.
“He’s here already,” Luna said, nodding toward the ramshackle church. “In there with the other Kings.”
I nodded, appreciating the update. I wasn’t ready to speak to him yet anyway. More alcoholic encouragement was needed first.
Storm finally joined us. She produced the party favors, a few fat joints that we passed around our circle.
I didn’t smoke much. Weed had a way of getting inside my head and amplifying my anxiety more often than not these days.
This was not a good time for that. Instead, I drank enough alcohol to chase the nerves away.
“I don’t see anyone hookup worthy.” Pursing her lips, Athena appraised the partygoers with blatant judgement. “I’m done with jocks. Maybe I need a good nerdy type. What do you guys think?”
“I think that the nerdy types are at home studying so they can rule the world one day. You probably won’t find them here.” Ripley laughed, bumping her plastic cup against Athena’s in cheers.
“That’s a good point.” Athena tapped her bottom lip, looking thoughtful. “With my luck, I’ll end up marrying one of these hooligans. God forbid.”
Luna giggled. “Why not? Storm is marrying one, and she seems pretty happy.”
Storm gave a one shoulder shrug. “Definitely no complaints here.”
While the girls talked about men, sex, and romance, I kept drinking. I had nothing to add to the conversation. Unfortunately.
I was feeling just drunk enough to not give a damn about anything when Stray emerged from the church. Running my hands through my hair to smooth down any flyaways, I said, “Wish me luck, girls.”
Then I was off. Crossing the graveyard to the church. The alcohol had imbued me with confidence. No matter what Stray had to say, he would at least hear me out first. This was my last shot. My final attempt. Then I would move on and forget about him completely.
Casper saw me coming. He nudged Stray, tilting his head in my direction. Then he disappeared with the others.
Stray stood there with a drink in one hand. His expression was vacant. No sign of anything he might be feeling on his face. To my relief, he waited for me to reach him.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I asked.
“Go ahead and talk.” His response was ice-cold.
Despite his rough exterior, I didn’t miss the way he drank me in from head to toe. Something flashed through his eyes. Familiarity and recognition. He remembered.
“I know you probably don’t care about anything I have to say, but I need you to know how sorry I am for what happened.
I hate myself for betraying you that way.
I know it was fucked, and I never should’ve done it.
If I could take it all back, I would.” So badly I wanted to touch him.
To throw myself in his arms and kiss him.
Stray casually sipped his drink. He arched a brow, nodding with disinterest as I spoke. “Is that all?”
I fully believed he was entitled to his feelings. However, he was being a total asshole. Couldn’t we discuss this like grown adults?
“Yeah, I guess so. I get that you’re mad, Stray, but do you really have to be such a dick about it? Can’t we talk about this?”
Upon closer inspection, Stray’s pupils were incredibly wide. More so than they should’ve been since we were standing near the church in the light from the open door. They had a glassy effect as well that told me he was on more than alcohol. Maybe this wasn’t such a good time to talk.
“I don’t think I have anything else to say to you,” he said.
“I was head over heels for you, Codie. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before.
The more you pushed me away, the more I knew I had to make you mine.
Everything changed when you screwed me over with Venom.
I don’t think I could ever trust you again.
Don’t worry about the blackmail material.
I destroyed all of it. Nobody will ever see it.
You’re safe. Have a nice life. You finally got what you wanted. I won’t be in it.”
He left me standing there feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under me. Like my entire world was coming apart. I watched him walk away, disappearing into the throng of people. I felt like a fool. Why had I even bothered to try?
I dumped out the rest of my drink, tossing the cup into one of the garbage cans near the church.
Without a word to the girls, I headed for the road.
There was no reason for me to hang around.
That would only hurt worse. I ordered a ride through my phone, deciding to wait by myself.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.
A large decorative rock sat at the edge of the church property near the road. I leaned against it, watching for headlights as I waited for my ride. The fall night air, along with Stray’s rejection, left me chilled. I briskly rubbed my arms in a futile effort to warm myself.
Now was the time to go home and drown my sorrows. Stuff my face with junk food. Take a bubble bath. Listen to music about lost love and moving on.
None of that stuff would do a damn thing to make me feel better. Going through the motions might help make me feel like I was at least trying to get over him. I’d never felt this way about anyone before. I’d never really had my heart broken.
Despite how much it hurt, the conversation with Stray had made it abundantly clear that whatever we were was now over. Hopefully, I would find some kind of closure in that. Right now it didn’t feel like I would ever be able to see him without hurting. How fucking pathetic.
Headlights suddenly lit up the darkness. I stood up, thinking it was my ride. I paused to cast a forlorn glance back at the party. That moment of distraction was all it took for Noah and Colt to get out of the vehicle and grab me.