Chapter Twenty – The Thread That Held Us Together
CHAPTER TWENTY
The Thread That Held Us Together
A bsolute silence.
Then Jo starts to sob, and the hum in my chest gets louder and louder. When Shane and Jay keep up with me, the hum is so strong I feel the vibration under me on the couch.
I’m speechless. Shane is staring at Jay, his face shocked, but Jay’s face is hard and resolute.
Jo’s voice, rough and broken, cuts through the humming. “Pack rules, remember? You told me we don’t punish each other, even when one of us screws up!”
Despite his expression, Jay’s voice is still calm. It’s so striking, the cold voice paired with his harsh words, that it’s unnerving. “I’m not punishing you; I’m being honest. You left us. You shut us out. You ran away and didn’t even talk to us, except for those shitty texts you sent.”
He looks straight into her eyes. “We were all fucked up and hurting, but I was the one who threw the punch and got us into this mess. I knew my brothers would never blame me, but I needed to hear it from you . I was the reason you weren’t there, so I was the one who needed you the most. And you couldn’t even pick up the phone once, out of the hundred times I called. ”
I didn’t even know he had been calling her. The truth is, once she left, Jay shut down too. Even for us.
Jo is shaking as she cries, her voice raw. “I’m sorry, Jay. I know what I did wasn’t fair to you, but I was falling apart—”
“ You were falling apart?” he cuts her off, standing and putting himself in front of her.
I’m relieved that finally that cold, detached edge in his voice starts to crack, anger replacing it.
“My mother left me on the doorstep of that piece of shit who was my father, and I spent years asking myself if it was because of something I did. Shane’s mother fucking killed herself and left him alone with her family of Jesus-freaks.
Kory’s mother vanished after being by herself for just a couple of hours, after those motherfuckers who call themselves Kory’s fathers left her alone. ”
His voice gets louder and louder as he speaks, until he’s yelling at her.
“Then you ran away, and this time it was even worse because I didn’t get to wonder if it was something I did: I knew it was.
How do you think Shane felt knowing you were back in your bible-thumper parents’ city?
How do you think Kory felt knowing you were alone, without us, the same way his mother was when she disappeared into thin air?
You aren’t the first one to abandon us, Jo.
But you hurt even deeper because you cut on top of the old scars. ”
The air is hard to breathe, saturated with Jay’s aggression and Jo’s sour, acidic scent. My stomach twists, bile rising and burning my throat.
I start pumping soothing pheromones into the air, and Shane follows immediately, a flicker of panic in his eyes.
I want to hit pause on the whole thing and run until we calm down, but I can see Jay’s carrying something heavier than the hurt we all feel.
It’s the kind of anger that eats you from the inside.
He needs to spit it out before it rots him.
Shane probably reached the same conclusion, because he doesn’t intervene either. We both look from Jo to Jay, the two of them silent now, but breathing hard.
Jo finally answers. “Do you think I don’t know that?”
Her face is wet with tears, and her nose is running.
“I knew from day one that you all have abandonment issues. That was in my head every single day after I left. Your panicked face when you got home and saw me with the bags, Kory’s voice asking me to stay, Shane fighting you, trying to get to me.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole time. ”
She keeps going, her face hardening, the anger surfacing.
“I know I was cruel and cowardly and unfair to you. I knew it all along. But that was the only thing I could do, so I did it, and it’s done now, and I accept the consequences.
I accept your anger. I accept your hurt.
But I don’t accept being rejected or denied. ”
She stands and looks up into his face, her voice even harsher now. “You will forgive me. You will take me back. Because you are mine, the same way I’m yours.”
Jay snorts, a bitter half-laugh. “What are you even talking about? We’re bonded.
We need you and you need us, if only for your heats.
Of course I’ll take you back, whatever you mean by that.
But no, I won’t forgive you. And if I ever do, it will happen on my own time, not yours.
You don’t get a say in that. You lost the right to have a say in anything I do the day you left me. ”
Jo’s eyes narrow, her jaw clenched so tight a muscle jumps near her ear, and her whole body looks ready to snap.
“You’re wrong,” she says to him, her voice low but deadly, full of rage.
She lifts her left arm and puts it right in Jay’s face, almost rubbing the bite mark against his nose.
“Do you see that? The day you put your mark here, you gave me every right to have a say in everything you do. And you don’t get to take that right back, the same way you can’t take back this mark. ”
Jay doesn’t react, just stands there with her arm on his face until she lowers it and closes her eyes, big tears falling and dripping onto her shirt. She stays like that for a while, just standing there, unmoving, eyes shut.
And then her scent shifts, making it clear what she’s thinking, and I can’t believe it. It starts with a sharp, spicy edge in the sourness, but it grows, and in no time it fills the air, so thick my tongue prickles.
We’re in the middle of a fight. Jay is pouring out everything that’s been rotting inside him, Shane and I are hurting too.
Hell, she’s hurting too. But when her scent hits me, my body reacts before I can even try to fight it.
My cock goes hard and throbbing, the need building up so fast it’s hard to stay still.
I try to focus on the anger, the hurt, but it’s slipping away. All I can feel is her scent pressing down on me until the only thing I want is to strip her bare and bury myself inside her.
Shane loses it in no time. The hum in his chest turns more frantic, he stands and pulls her in tight, engulfing her in his size and kissing her.
Jay speaks, his voice full of outrage and hurt, but hunger too. “Why are you doing this to us?”
She ignores Jay, taking her time kissing Shane, and only when their mouths finally pull apart does she answer. “This is me having a say in what every single one of you does. You don’t get to shut me out.”
I can see how much it’s costing Jay to stay still, just as much as it’s costing me. And just like me, I see him breaking, the desire eating away at the anger on his face.
I tap out first. It’s useless to fight it. I stand up, and she throws her arms around my neck, clinging to me like she’s trying to crawl under my skin while Shane kisses the back of her neck, pulling her collar to the side to kiss her shoulder.
My pants press painfully against my cock. I need to get out of them. Now.
She seems to understand, because she starts fumbling with the button of my pants, her hands trembling badly. Behind her, Shane is already stripping his clothes off too.
She turns to Jay. “Kiss me.”
He breaks. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her into him as he kisses her. She fists his hair, kissing him back just as hard. When they pull apart, he’s crying, big tears streaming down his face, but his expression is softer.
I press against her back and bury my face in her hair, breathing her in. Then, I sweep it aside to bare her neck. There it is: my bite mark. Fully healed, like it always belonged to her. I kiss it, and she moans.
Shane steps in and starts undressing her, shirt first, then jeans.
He slips his hands between me and her, trembling as he tries to open her bra.
I push his fingers away and unclasp it myself, still kissing her skin, trailing from her shoulder to her spine.
Shane slides her panties down in one smooth motion, and she steps out of them without hesitation.
Jay’s on her again, kissing her neck now. I feel his hand sliding past me, down her back, toward her ass, and I shift to give him space. Shane is pressing close again, and Jo kisses him, deep and hungry, then turns to Jay. Then back again.
I slide my hand between them and reach her breast, cupping it, feeling the jolt of pleasure surge through me as I feel her nipple on my palm. She cries out, and I move my hand down. She’s already soaked. I circle her clit, and she whimpers, legs parting for me.
Jay is stripping his clothes off fast, practically tearing them off. Once he’s naked, Jo pulls him to the couch, climbing on top of him the second he hits the cushions, one leg on each side of his hips.
“Do you want me?” she asks, her voice hard, loud and clear.
He doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.” I watch him line himself up at her entrance and guide her down until he’s buried inside her to the hilt.
She closes her eyes and throws her head back, her face shifting from tense to calm, even with the tears still streaming down.
Then she starts to move, up and down his length.
Shane and I sit, one on each side of her, and Jay leans back further into the couch to give us space. Jo grabs my hair and drags me close for a kiss, moaning into my mouth. Then she pulls back and turns to Shane, kissing him too.
“I want to feel close again,” she whispers. “Like I didn’t break everything.”
Her hand reaches for my cock, and after all these weeks apart, the feeling of her touching me again is so overwhelming that I feel the rut fog trying to take me immediately, but I fight it.
She turns her face to me. “Say that you forgive me. Say that I’m yours.”
I don’t even think, there’s no need to. “Yes, love. You’re mine. I forgive you,” I pant. “Do you forgive me?”